A/N: Short and angsty.
Disclaimer: Because I haven't done one in a while. No, I do not own Twilight, it's characters, it's counterparts, it's many many endorsement deals, or the sad obsession that comes with it.
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When you kiss her, you kiss her like it is the last thing you will ever do on this earth. You hold her like she is the last thing you will touch; like the devils and the angels are watching, taking lessons on the perfect moment. When you kiss her, you taste her like she is the sweetest this you have ever tasted, and her lips are softer than silk against yours, pink and swollen and lovely and you kiss her and whisper
I love you I love you, have me, please have me, just take me
and that is when she realizes and stops. And you are so sorry that words could ruin this, that she had to let go and that your last moment is over, and now you will surely slip, deep down into the earth, because that was the very last thing that you ever wanted. And you aren't sorry, even though her eyes are sad and pleading and she is trying to break away from your embrace, no you aren't sorry, not at all not one bit. You are anything but sorry. And she says
Forgive me forgive me, I won't, please I won't, I just can't
and you finally let go of her waist. You look at her dark brown eyes like they are the sun and the moon and the only light that you can see, and you think about all the colors, all the beautiful colors in this world and plain brown is really the only one you can remember. And maybe you will drown in them; yes, you do hope you will drown in them and be done with it, and be gone. And you tell her
Don't leave don't leave, stay here, please stay here, just live
and she begins to walk away. You wish that you had chosen different words because Bella Swan cannot live, she is not alive; and she loves him, but she loves you, too, you know it, you have been staring into those brown eyes and you know it, and she can lie all she wants but it doesn't hide the fact that she kissed you back, that she kissed you first, that she will always and forever belong to you. And you don't mind sharing her; not really, but she leans in and softly cries
Protect me protect me, I need you, please I need you, I just do
and you take her in your wide brown arms again, and you are her sun, her guardian angel, her dream, her wolf, her perfect stronghold. She shivers against the contact, against the heat, and you can't help the smile that crawls across your face, you can't help but think, this is it for sure, this is the last time I will have to explain the last doubt and we will live happily ever after. But your life is no fairytale, no Disney movie, and she pulls away and screams and tells you
I'm sorry I'm sorry, I love you, please I love you, but I can't
and she is gone. And it is just like all the other times. You watch her walk away and imagine her turning around, kissing you like it is the last moment on earth and you think yeah I loved you, too, but it's over now, isn't it? And you phase and begin to run away in the moonlight, pushing away the thoughts of brown eyes and apocalypses and you know that they are there, listening, but you can't you can't and you scream and growl inside your head, to this awful, torn, beat of a broken heart
It's over it's over, don't come back, please don't come back, just run
and that is it.
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END