Poor Peeta, I've wanted to so a little something-something about when he was captured by the Capitol. Suzanne Collins get's the credit though.
A New Type of Torture
We're sitting on the beach, and then we're kissing. Everything feels right even though I know it shouldn't. But why that is feels fuzzy…something shimmers across the image, just for a second, and when it comes back everything just looks different.
She pulls back and is smiling. Her teeth, white and gleaming start to transform. They are becoming horribly disfigured. The pupils in her eyes dilate until there is no white left. Something in me wants to scream and I can't. She's clawing at my throat, trying to kill me…but I don't fight back.
Why? Why am I not fighting back, she's evil. She's trying to kill me.
But…I love her. I won't hurt her, I can't.
"NO!" A voice booms across the memory. "The Mockingjay, Katniss Evergreen needs to be killed, you have to do it. Do you understand?"
I am shaking all over. They are trying to kill Katniss through me, how can I let that happen. "Go to hell." It takes the little saliva I have to utter that.
I am on all fours on the cement ground, I can feel my broken ribs, they ache from the weight. But I'm not going to stand up again, not after last time…because I am lucky to still have the one leg after that.
I feel the shock coming, or what I have come to think of as a shock. But it lasts much longer than any normal electrical tremor.
They are attacking my memories, trying to twist and manipulate them.
They went for my body at first, but I wasn't going to crack. No amount of physical pain could make me do that. Something they were thorough in finding out.
It seizes me, and I see another memory, of when I gave Katniss the bread. Except this time, instead of her just taking it, she comes at me with her bow and arrow, she's a foot away from me as she takes aim. She smiles, this time, she has no teeth, and there's something that looks sickeningly like blood coming out of her mouth. She points her weapon, never taking her eyes of mine, towards the window.
It cuts through the glass easily, and pierces my brother right between the eyes.
"AGHH!" I bellow out, only after the memory is over, am I able to remember that it has been distorted.
"Will you kill Katniss Everdeen?" The voice intoned again.
I made a gesture, resulting in my finger being snapped back.
I thought I would pass out, but no, they would never allow that.
It's all in your mind. It terrified me that I had to remember this. When they first started, it seemed like a joke. That I would be able to believe that Katniss would kill me like she did, that I would be able to think of her as evil.
And now I had to remind myself of it, something that was getting harder to do with each frequent session.
The electric humming in my bones was starting again…I only had seconds.
And then, right there, I felt a part of my mind break off. Something I would hold on too, it was tiny, I didn't know if it would be enough. But I had to have some part to hold on to if I got out of here. Even if the reason made me feel sick.
I had to have some small part of sanity that would allow me to kill myself, if I ever tried to kill Katniss.
In case they won.