AN: This is my first PotC fic so be nice please! Please no flames! I have another version of this story with an alternate ending up, so pick which one you like best! Love, EowynsPen
Disclaimer: If I owned PotC, the main pairing would be Jack/Lizzy, not Lizzy/Spineless Eunuch
Jack Sparrow lounged about on the deck of his beloved Pearl, a bottle of rum swinging from one of his hands, glancing about. Occasionally he would shout an order to a member of his crew, sending them scurrying to fix whatever mistake they'd made. He smiled. It was good to be back.
Often his eye would wander to the lovely Elizabeth, whom he'd picked up after a brawl in Tortuga that involved several tricorn hats. Those clothes did not suit her at all. Personally, he thought that she should go with a dress or nothing, and he conveniently happened to have no dress upon the Pearl. She didn't take his advice, though. A pity.
Sighing, he took a swig of rum. That was his solution to everything: rum. Couldn't live without it, really. Never mind, he was avoiding the facts.
Jack told everyone that his love was the Pearl, and the Pearl alone, though some said his love was the sea. Recently, however, he was beginning to rethink that.
Ever since he'd met that accursed wench, helping young Will to rescue her, he couldn't get her out of his mind. Damned girl. She was partially the reason he'd sent Will to pay his debt with Jones, though she knew nothing of where he was yet. He couldn't let that little snippet Turner steal her. She was too beautiful for him, son of Bootstrap or no.
She was sighing now, looking out towards the sea. He sauntered over to her.
"My extreme knowledge and perception of the female mind tells me you are troubled." He said.
She smiled. "Oh, Jack. I'm just so ready for marriage."
He knew what she was talking about. She missed Will. She wanted to marry him. "You know," he said, as nonchalantly as he could, "As Captain of this vessel, I could perform a…" He paused, "marr-i-age, right on this deck. Right here. Right… Now!" He leaned into her face, searching for a response. She stared up at him, her knees drawn up to her chest.
"You don't mean that." She said, very quietly.
"Don't mean what?" he countered, his arms held wide, baring his teeth in a winning smile.
"You're all talk. All you do is talk, and try to seduce with your sweet words and your silver tongue. But what if I took you up on your offers?" There was a trace of bitterness in her voice. His smile faltered. "You see?" She shot upon seeing him hesitate. "All of your promises are empty! You're just too much of a coward to hold up your false words!"
Now she'd done it. No one, not even a woman could get away with calling him a coward. He looked at her, his glare icy. "Oh, really?" he asked her. "Do you really think that?"
She nodded, as equally cool. "I do think so." She said. "And if you have a problem with it, then prove that I'm wrong"
"Fine." He said. She started, staring at him. "Fine." He said again. He got down on one knee, taking her hand in his. "Marry me." He said, not believing that the words were coming out of his mouth. She continued staring, her mouth open. "You told me to prove it to you, so I am. Marry me." He said, looking deep into her eyes.
Eventually she responded. "I accept." She said. "And I'll watch as you back out at the last minute."
He smiled. "I wouldn't bet money on that, lass." He said. Rising, he shouted to the crew. "All hands on deck!" He roared.
Within a minute every sailor stood in a neat line according to rank. Jack strode up and down the line, finally nodding to an old deck hand named Grady. "Take your coat off, It'll do fine for a dress." Jack said. The man flushed as his comrades sniggered at him.
"Well, come on, we haven't got all day!" Jack said. The man gave up his jacket without a word. Jack draped it artistically over Elizabeth, nodding thoughtfully as he adjusted it here and there before cutting off the sleeves with his cutlass and tying it around her waist with some random crewmember's sash. The men knew better than to argue at the ruin of their clothes.
"There." Jack said with approval, and it really did look like a dress. Jack leaned over the side and found some of the seaweed that was forever tangled in the ornate head of the ship and made a passable boquet, which he thrust into Elizabeth's hands. Finally he took an old map from in his coat, folded it neatly so that it seemed like a very thin book with four pages, and wrote "Holy Bible" on it with the pen thrust in his coat pocket.
Good. Everything looked fine. Next he made all of the men sit on the steps leading up to the raised platform with the wheel on it except for Gibbs, Pintel, and Ragetti. Gibbs he had stand next to him, Pintel and Ragetti next to Elizabeth. Ragetti was wearing another one of his dresses – that man is so strange, Jack thought. Straightening his cuffs, he placed his hands together and bowed slightly to everyone before starting.
"All right, men." He said. "Today a most joyous, festive, and whatnot celebration is going on. Lizzy and I are getting married. Savvy?"
The men stared, a few openly gasped. Jack was a ladies man, they knew, but this? It was simply unheard of.
Jack pretended to ignore the open mouths. "Gibbs is to be my best man." He said. "Pintel and Ragetti have the honor of being bridesmaids."
The crew snickered, especially at Ragetti, who was a good target because of his obsession with wearing women's dresses. Pintel flushed scarlet but said nothing.
Jack hushed them with a wave of his hand, signaling the start of the ceremony. "Oh, Father, Son, and whatever else you are, in your name we pray that you bless this marriage Amen." He said hurridly.
"Amen." Repeated the crew.
"Captain Jack Sparrow, do you take Lizzy to be your wife, in sickness or in health, yadda yadda yadda, til death or divorce or too much rum?" Jack asked himself.
There was a slight pause, then, "I do."
"Elizabeth Swann, do you take the noble, handsome Captain Jack Sparrow to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness, health, and whatever the rest was?"
Elizabeth Swann looked daringly at him, still convinced that he was going to back out of it somehow, and said, "I do."
"Wonderful!" Jack said, clasping his hands together. "I now pronounce us husband and wife, and give myself permission to kiss you!"
So saying, he grabbed Elizabeth by the waist, pulled her into him, and leaned over her to place a big smack upon her lips. Elizabeth, shocked that he'd gone through with it, was panicking as she thought, "What have I done?"
Pulling his head up, Captain Jack sparrow looked up to rousing cheers from his crew. He smiled. "Ah, Weddings!" He said. "I love weddings. Drinks all around!"
That evening, the crew drinking their hearts out with Jack's generous stores of rum, gave several wolf whistles as a only slightly drunk Jack scooped up Elizabeth and carried her to his cabin, but not before swiping two full bottles of rum.
When they got to the cabin, Jack kicked the door open and latched it shut behind them. Depositing Elizabeth upon his bed, he sat on the edge and poured two glasses of rum. Looking down beside him, he saw that she was trembling.
"What's wrong, love?" He asked, in a soft voice that surprised her.
"I don't really know." She said. "Will-"
Jack's face hardened slightly as he silenced her with his finger. "I don't want to hear about Will." He said firmly. "This is our night. Now, Rum?"
She shook her head.
He shrugged. "More for me, then." Downing both glasses and half a bottle with one gulp each. Taking off his sea boots, he drew up to her, reaching out his hand to cup her chin. He noticed her stiffen. "Come on, love." He said. "We're married. You can't deny this to me now. It's out wedding night."
She smiled slightly as he removed his hat. "It's just that I've never done it before."
Jack smiled. "Well, you've certainly picked the best person to teach you. He said, before leaning in and kissing her, snuffing the light out with his hat.