I do not own any of this. This is all pretty much the same as the episode Miley, Get Your Gum.

"OLIVER! See that girl, Pamela, over there? She thinks your cute," I say to Oliver in attempt to take his mind off of Hannah.

"Can't say that I disagree. Too bad I'm already cruising on the Hannah Highway!" Great. That was a flop.

"What about Catha Goodwin? She's so desperate, she'll go out with anybody!"

"My type of woman. Too bad I'm taken." UGH! When is he ever going to give up!

"What about, Lilly? You guys would be perfect together!" I said as a desperate attempt.
"Excuse me?" Lily points out.
"You're both stubborn." I tell them.
"I am not!" They both answer in unision.
"See, you guys always agree with each other"
"No, we don't." They answer together again.
"I am definitely seeing a couple here"
"You're not, because I'm not. Phew!" That is just so cute.

I pull Oliver aside, "And that's smart because what if one friend loves another friend but they didn't get loved back? Then things would be all weird and uncomfortable and the friends couldn't be friends anymore. And there's nothing more important than our friendship, Oliver."

"Oh man, you love me!" Oliver says.

"Ewww! No!" Both Lily and I say.

"I mean I do love you. But like a brother or a pet fish. You know, I'd cry if I had to flush you down the toilet but I wouldn't wanna kiss you!" I continue.

"That's a relief. Because you're my buddy. Actually, I think Hannah and you can become close friends," he says.

"Closer than you think.." Lily butts in. I give her a look.

"Great! Once Hannah and I are together, we'll have you over for some SUSHI!" Oliver says as he leaves. I go to a wall and bang my head into it until Lily takes me away. We watch Oliver talk to the picture of Hannah in his locker. Until Gum Chewing Chad and him have a confrontation.

I look at Lily, "I KNOW THAT LOOK! Either you have a great idea or you need to go," I say, hoping it's the first one.

"Oliver is about to totally be turned off by Hannah Montana," she says, "AND I really gotta go!" She runs into the bathroom.

-----

I watch Oliver walk by. "Hannah?" I push down my magazine. "HI! The kid from the moon roof!" I say while trying my very hardest to chomp down that gum, "Look at you so upside-right!"

He steps back. I continue to talk. "Oh! Where are my manners?" I stand up and push him into the chair, "Sit down, sweetie! Join the party! Here. Do you want some gum?"

"I didn't know you liked gum. I've surfed your websites and none of them say you're a.." he hesitates, "a chewer."

"OH! I'm a chewer, alright! I love to chew! I chew all the time. Like a train. Chew, Chew, CHEW!" I said gesturing my arms, "I chew in the mornings, the afternoon, the evening! If it can be chewed, it's in my mouth!"

"Good to know," he stands up, "You might wanna think about updating some of your websites."

"WHY? Does it bother you? Well, it really turns off some people. They can't even be around me. They love me.. but I disgust them!"

"Well.. I'm not like that." What? Yes he is.

"You're not?" I stand up, "Because it's okay if you are."

"No. Relationships are about sacrifice. And I accept you. Just the way you are!"

"Good to know, " Ugh. When is this boy ever going to learn? "MOVE OVER BOYS! New chew coming through!" I look at his disgusted face.

"Your mouth.. It's.."

"Turning black? It's licorice mint. I LOVEEEE licorice. Don't make me laugh. It comes out my nose. Wanna see?"

"No!"

"TOO LATE! She's about to blow!" He pinches down my nose, "Am I grossing you out? Because I totally understand if you wanna transfer your obsession to Mandy Moore. You know, she's blonde again!"

"No no no! My love is bigger than my disgust.." he looks at his hand, "And your black drippage."

"BLACK DRIPPAGE! Watch this." I blow an amazingly large bubble and it pops into his face. He falls on the ground yelling, "HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW!"

"I.. I.. I.." he struggles to get up and take the gum off his face, "I still love you!"

"UGHH! WHAT DOES IT TAKE WITH YOU? What more do I have to do? You and Hannah Montana are never going to be together!"

"Why not?" I see the disappointment in his face. I calm down a bit. It's time to tell him.

"Because.." I take off my wig and sunglasses, "I'm Hannah Montana. Me. Miley." Oliver faints, "That went well."