Author's note: Hello everyone! I just wanted to verify that this is my first fanfic. I've read some similar to it (I know, I know – the whole musical thing has been done before), but I didn't copy anyone's. Um, I joined this site because I like reading fanfiction and I wanted to review other people's. I never really planned on writing one of my own. But, I guess the inspiration came and I just started writing. I know the writing is a bit mediocre and some of the song lyrics are kinda weird, but I got stuck on some parts and this is just what it ended up as. Please review after reading; constructive criticism is much appreciated.
Oh, and one more thing: I know everyone is pretty out of character. It's just kinda supposed to be that way. And I'm not really sure when this would take place… Probably after HBP, but let's just say Harry has defeated Voldemort and is going back to Hogwarts for his seventh year.
Chicago... The Harry Potter Way
"Um, I've got to go now," Ginny Weasley said, breaking up a long snogging session with her boyfriend, Harry Potter.
"Where are you going?" Harry asked hastily, quite disappointed Ginny had ended their kiss.
"Er… I'm hungry. Going to go find the food trolley. Bye," Ginny lied, feeling her ears and cheeks turn pink. She hated when she flushed; it always gave away when she was lying. Luckily, not many people knew that she blushed when she lied, so she could get away with untruths anyway.
"I'll come with you!" Harry offered, determined to stay with his fiery-haired girlfriend.
"No!" Ginny blurted out. "I mean – " she cleared her throat and forced herself to use a sweet, sugary tone. "No, sweetie. Why don't you just save this compartment for us?" Ginny batted her eyes, which always seemed to make Harry swoon. "Besides, it will take a while. I've got to stop in the loo and everything. Just wait here." Ginny, as usual, got exactly what she wanted. Harry sat down rather reluctantly and confirmed he would patiently wait for her to return.
Though feeling somewhat guilty, for she seemed to have Harry completely wrapped around her finger, Ginny set off to do what she had been waiting to do – meet the boy she had been having an affair with all summer. They had been meeting in secret whenever possible. They couldn't have a relationship out in the open, of course. It would leave an awful stain on both of their reputations.
Ginny didn't even like him that much anyway; after all, he was a Slytherin who had attempted to kill Dumbledore the previous year, and who believed that only people of magical descent were of any worth. And Ginny was a noble and kind Gryffindor whose family members were all considered "blood traitors". But he had seemed to change over the past few months, and wasn't as much of a jerk anymore. And, even if he were, Ginny thought slyly, he's still a great kisser.
Yes, more snogging sessions with Draco Malfoy were exactly what Ginny desired at the moment.
However, upon entering the compartment she and Draco had agreed to meet in, Ginny saw she wasn't the only one he had planned on snogging that day. Pansy Parkinson, an obnoxious Slytherin seventh year, was sitting in Draco's lap, kissing him passionately. Actually, passionately was an understatement. She was kissing him with so much fervor it was sickening. Especially to Ginny.
Hearing the compartment door open, Draco and Pansy broke apart immediately, as if lightning had struck between them. Draco's face fell when he saw Ginny, standing in the doorway, a furious expression on her face, and angry tears in her eyes.
"Get out of here, Parkinson! Now!" Ginny shouted. Pansy continued to sit snugly next to Draco, a smug look on her face, as though daring Ginny to defy her. "If you don't leave this instant, Parkinson, I will curse you until you need a permanent residence ward in St. Mungo's!" Ginny raised her wand threateningly. Pansy, seeing Ginny meant business, muttered a quick farewell to Draco and swiftly left the compartment.
"Come on, Ginny, I didn't mean it, I – " Draco began, but was cut short by Ginny.
Ginny raised her wand, making up her mind. "Avada Kedavra!" A jet of green light filled the compartment, and a second later, Malfoy lay on the floor, unmistakably dead.
"Bit drastic, don't you think?" Came a quiet voice from behind Ginny. She spun around, horrorstruck, coming face-to-face with a boy with black hair and bright emerald eyes.
Ginny's eyes began to fill with tears. Maybe it had been a bit drastic. But she hated Draco. She hated him like she hated no one else, even the Dark Lord, although he had been killed almost a year ago. "I hate him," Ginny said, burying her face in Harry's shoulder as he embraced her.
"Me too," Harry murmured. "I'm glad you got rid of him."
Looking up and smiling, Ginny said, "But I feel kind of bad, you know? You won't tell anyone, will you?"
"No," Harry replied at once. "Course not." After a moment's silence, Harry asked, "Why did you kill him, Gin?" He already had an idea of the answer, and didn't want it to be true.
"I hate him," Ginny answered. Harry nodded, though he wasn't sure if Ginny was being completely honest.
Harry and Ginny trudged back to their original compartment, deciding just to leave Malfoy there on the floor.
Once they were in the Great Hall of Hogwarts and the first feast of the year was about to begin, Harry leaned over and whispered in Hermione's ear, "I have to tell you something. I'm not supposed to tell anyone, but I just don't know what to do." Hermione nodded to confirm she was listening. Harry continued, making sure Ginny wasn't anywhere near him. "Ginny killed Draco Malfoy today on the train." Hermione gasped and choked on the pumpkin juice she had been draining out of her goblet.
"Wha – Why?" Hermione spat.
"I think they had some sort of relationship over the summer. Remember when Ginny kept sneaking off all over the place and no one could find her for hours? I think she was meeting Malfoy. And she must have caught him snogging some other girl or something. I can't really think of any other explanation. All she's saying is that she simply 'hated him'," Harry explained to a goggling Hermione.
"You have to tell someone, Harry," Hermione said. "I bet they'll find out somehow or other. Tell McGonagall! At least she'll be fair with punishment!"
"Yeah, fair… Meaning Azkaban," Harry said miserably. He really wished Ginny had merely hexed Malfoy and gotten over it.
Suddenly, faint music could be heard. It seemed to be coming from… everywhere. Everyone in the hall began looking wildly around, trying to figure out where the jazzy tune was coming from. Harry found himself climbing on top of the Gryffindor house table and breaking into song. Even as he sang, Harry realized that his voice wasn't half bad. He was singing "All That Jazz" from the musical Chicago, adding his own lyrics where he saw fit to do so.
Hermione and Ron climbed up onto the table as well, and sang a few parts of the song with him. Even the other houses, including Slytherin, and the teachers, joined in on a couple lines.
HARRY
Come on Gin
Why don't you just confess?
And all that Jazz
I'll try not to tell on you
I'll just do my best
And all that jazz
Start the year
Off with a bang
Louder than the one the Weasley twins made
It's just a mistake
Anyone could make
And all that jazz
RON AND HERMIONE
Mistake?
HARRY
And all that Jazz
RON AND HERMIONE
Was it?
Really?
HARRY
And all that Jazz
So come up with
A little alibi
And all that Jazz
I hear it's not too hard
As long as you can lie
And all that Jazz
Hold on, Gin
If you get put in jail
I will bail you out
Or maybe Draco will
Oh, wait he is dead
Just can't get it through my head
Let's do that Jazz
Find a flask
We're drinking pumpkin juice
ALL
And all that jazz
HARRY
Celebrate
The evil git is dead
ALL
And all that jazz
HARRY
Come on, Gin
I didn't mean to blab
Guess a lot of people will be mad
A small flash of light
You did it out of spite
Good thing is: now he's dead
And all that Jazz
Oh, you're gonna go to Azkaban
RON AND HERMIONE
And all that jazz
HARRY
Oh, how could you have liked that dreadful man?
RON AND HERMIONE
He must've meant 'boy'
HARRY
Yeah, I know about your affair
With that guy with yellow hair
RON AND HERMIONE
And all that jazz
And all that jazz
HARRY
And all that jazz
And all that jazz
Come on Gin
Now they know your secret
And all that jazz
And you'll get what you deserve
For liking that stupid turd
And all that jazz
Start packing
And tell your friends good-bye
Plead your innocence
I guess the stakes are high
Now everybody knows
Why Malfoy is dead
And all that-
RON AND HERMIONE
Jazz
HARRY
Yes, I'm single now
'Cause Ginny is a cow
And all that jazz!
ALL
That Jazz!
After the song, the hall exploded into confused but appreciative applause. Ginny was about the only person not clapping. She burst into tears and ran out of the hall, yelling indistinguishable things that sounded a bit like "jerk" and "traitor" and "two-faced ass". Professor McGonagall sprinted after her, looking livid.