written for Fire The Canon's 1 Character, 1 Prompt Challenge.
PUSH
Marius Black wasn't a coward. He hadn't been afraid since his eleventh birthday – the day he didn't receive his letter from Hogwarts.
He hadn't been afraid when his father had raised his wand and struck his own son down with a single curse. He hadn't been afraid when Pollux had come home from Hogwarts after his third year and tried to beat magic into him, either. His brother had always been a brute.
But he was afraid for his sisters. Cassiopeia and Dorea didn't know what lay ahead for them. But Marius did. His parents had never made it a secret that they would be married off the moment they left Hogwarts – it was something to be proud of, after all. Continuing the pure blood lineage – to ensure perfection.
Marius scowled and slammed his fist down onto the table in front of him. It was because of that perfection that he was a Squib. If they weren't all so interested in marrying their cousins, then maybe Marius wouldn't have turned out the way he did.
Sure, he might not have been a Black, but what was the use of a well-known name if you didn't belong in the Wizarding World anyway?
He clenched his fists and tried to stop himself from breaking something again. He may not be able to use a wand, but Marius was quite handy with his fists. He'd learnt how to physically defend himself from Pollux.
When his parents had finally accepted that there wasn't an ounce of magic in Marius' veins they'd disowned him. Of course, why wouldn't they? A Squib was an embarrassment to any family, let alone one that was as obsessed with pure-blood and perfection as they were.
What even was perfection? Marius couldn't understand. He was better than his siblings. He was more handsome than Pollux, with a gentler nature. Dorea was stubborn and broad-shouldered, whilst Cassiopeia was more of the beauty – but even she was flawed, with a fierce temper and knack for scaring off suitors with her threatening glare. Dorea deserved to be disowned... after all, she was the one that was with a Potter. A Gryffindor one at that.
Surely Marius - the sanest of all of them – was the closest to perfection?
And yet, they didn't want him. Not without magic.
Marius couldn't help himself, as he launched from his seat and smashed a lampshade before he'd even realised what he'd done.
Was he going mad? Marius could barely control himself anymore. Before he even knew what he was doing, his hands were acting of their own accord – smashing and snapping everything they could.
Marius couldn't even remember picking up the lampshade, yet he must have if he'd thrown it on the floor just moments before.
Slowly, he sunk to his knees, clutching at his hair and fighting back the sickening feeling of fear in his throat.
Marius Black was not a coward.
He could feel himself slipping away. It was getting worse – the slimy, putrid emotion taking hold of his insides – forcing itself into his blood, into his head.
But he was not afraid. He did not allow himself to be. There was hope for him, for a better life, in the form of a young Muggle girl.
He had yet to have spoken to her as despite having been spurned by his family, thanks to his rigorous upbringing the entire concept of accepting a Muggle as something acceptable to even look at was a difficult idea for Marius to accept.
But she really was very pretty. She had dark eyes that were framed with thick black lashes and short blonde curls that sat on her shoulders daintily as she ate. She had lunch at the same café as Marius during the week-days and she would then return to the school that she taught at. Part of the building had collapsed due to a bombing a few months ago – it had been Marius' first experience of the muggle war that was currently destroying the country.
After a few weeks of watching her, she'd eventually approached him, shyly asking if he would like to join her and introducing herself as Theodora Westlake.
Marius had accepted with a small smile, and they'd sat and lunched together, talking about her life – Marius loved to hear about her. But they didn't talk about him.
He'd walked her back to the school she worked at and despite having only properly met him an hour ago, she reached up and kissed him before he'd even had the chance to tell her he'd had a nice time.
After two lunch dates and one evening out together, she'd ended up in his bed. After that, they were inseparable, barely leaving Marius' run down flat as they hid themselves away in his bedroom.
Every day Theodora would laugh and whisper how she shouldn't keep doing this, how her family would disown her if they found out. Each time she said it Marius' heart hardened further.
"I love you Marius," she whispered one evening after another day spent in his bed. She was curled up underneath his arm and she reached up to kiss him, frowning as Marius remained silent. "Do you love me?"
"Of course," Marius murmured. He didn't mean it. He wanted to, of course he did. Theodora was beautiful, funny, loving and everything a man could dream of. But she was a Muggle, and that thought still plagued Marius' mind.
"Then why don't you tell me things?" she'd asked with glistening eyes as she'd thrown herself out of bed and began to dress herself. "You know everything about me, but I know nothing about you."
"There isn't much to know."
"What about your family? You've never even mentioned them."
"Because I don't have a family," Marius hissed harshly, turning away from Theodora, who'd begun to cry.
"Marius, I just want you to prove it to me, I can't keep acting like this…"
"I never promised you anything," Marius shot her a dark look, even though he knew that the right thing to do would be to ask her to marry him.
But he couldn't. He wanted to be alone. Letting Theodora in would prove he was a coward.
She left without another word and Marius had never seen her again.
It was what had led him here, stood on the edge of a cliff, his mind buzzing with thoughts, memories of how he had failed.
His life was full of pushes towards this moment, he'd always known it. The first push was not receiving his Hogwarts letter. The second push the beatings from his father and Pollux. The third push being his disownment, along with the realisation of his loneliness. The fourth had been when Theodora had left him, and his inability to realise how perfect she was for him.
The fifth and final push had been the realisation that he was a coward. He'd tried to fight it, but the fear had won.
Marius Black was scared and alone. He had to magic to save him, to stop him from ending his miserable life.
As he stepped over the edge of the cliff and began to fall, Marius Black accepted that he was going to die. He was fighting the fear, destroying it.
Marius Black was not a coward.