About Berlin

Rating: M

Tags: S10E21-22. SPOILERS for these episodes!

A/N: This story is dedicated to Zivacentric who is one of my all-time favourite fanfic-writers. Thought you could use a small "pick-me-up" (is that the expression?).
It's a continuation of what happened in the tagged episodes. Episodes after the ones tagged did not happen in the alternate universe of this small fic, which will by the way be 2-3 chapters long in total.

Anyway.. We need more fanfics with these two, so here it is, and I hope you all like it ^^

Disclaimer: NCIS and its characters does not belong to me, and the dialogue from the first part of the story also belongs to the writers of the series. You should recognize it from episode 22 in season 10.

"I'm worried about Ziva."

For a few seconds, Gibbs hesitated, not quite sure what to say. He put the tool in his hand down on the table and tried to settle on an answer.

I know you're worried. You think I'm not?

Leave her be, DiNozzo. It's her fight.

Many different replies ran through his head, but he settled on a simple "Why?"

"How about, she let me use her car?" Tony asked before adding "Which is actually pretty good. It drives better than you'd think and it's pretty roomy in the inside."

Gibbs took off his glassed and rubbed his tired eyes with both hands, sighing softly. The younger agent watched him and placed his tongue between his teeth, remembering why he had come to his boss' basement late at night. He willed himself to get back on the right track.

"After Eli's death… I noticed it. She became secretive, more focused…"

While Tony spoke, Gibbs sat quietly, listening to his words and keeping his eyes on the table. His agent stared intently at him as he continued.

"Ziva wants—"

"Revenge? Yeah, I know that" Gibbs interrupted him, slightly annoyed. He looked up at Tony, his mouth a thin line. The Italian seemed surprised at the sudden outburst.

The bond between Tony and Ziva bothered him more than ever before and the nagging truth that they were getting closer was on the forefront of his mind. He found himself unable to push it back. The first night after the two agents had gone to Berlin together, Gibbs had gotten drunk in his basement, unable to get any sleep at all. The thought of Ziva's current state of vulnerability coupled with Tony's attentive loyalty and adoration of his partner was maddening to him. Not to mention… His own jealousy was pissing him off. He was not usually like this. Possessive, yes – but not jealous.

"She's not gonna let it go, boss," Tony said.

Gibbs merely tilted his head as a small shrug.

"It's outta her hands now," he simply stated.

Tony continued persistently.

"Speaking of her hands… Did you notice her knuckles-?

"No," Gibbs interrupted him again, irritated at how he kept prodding. He clenched his teeth and pulled himself together, pushing back his annoyance with Tony.

"How was she in Berlin?" He asked.

For the first time since they started talking about his partner, Tony's eyes drifted as he sighed, rubbing his knuckles as if they were Ziva's, hurt and in need of care. He stayed quiet for a few seconds and kept his eyes low. Gibbs felt alarmed at the silence and couldn't hold in what had been on his mind ever since Tony and Ziva came back to the US.

"Anything you didn't tell me - about Berlin?" He asked, keeping his eyes on Tony.

The younger agent's brows furrowed and flickered for a second before meeting his own. Gibbs unconsciously tilted his head as he waited for an answer, but none came.

Only a few seconds of silence passed between them before it was broken by Gibbs' cellphone ringing.

x-x-x-x-x-x

He didn't have to wait long, leaned against the orange walls outside the director's office, before Ziva stepped out next to him and closed the door behind her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before looking at Gibbs. He tilted his head in direction of the stairs down to the bullpen.

"C'mon," he told her.

"Where are we going?"

"We… Are going home," he simply stated before pushing himself away from the wall and walking towards the stairs. "You're coming with me."

She had no desire to argue with him and found that she actually wanted some company tonight. The fact that he was offering made it seem all the more appealing. She was sore and tired, not just physically, but mentally as well, but if years of knowing Gibbs had taught her anything it was that his presence always made her relax. Even if they didn't really do much. They could spend hours just sitting in the same room together, not saying anything to one another, but nevertheless, the effect was soothing to her. Maybe it was their bond, maybe her love for him or maybe just a mutual understanding because of how similar they were when it came to opening up about their feelings and letting go.

x-x-x-x-x-x

When the two of them arrived at Gibbs' house, they walked straight to the kitchen where Gibbs grabbed a beer for himself and opened one for Ziva as well. The Israeli dropped her go-bag onto the floor before she took the bottle from his hand. When she reached for it, their fingers briefly touched and she couldn't help but admire how roughened the skin on his fingers was. It felt soft and warm against her own, but it was easy to feel the effects of hours and hours of woodwork on them.
She showed no reaction to the casual touch, but felt her heart flutter in her chest, silently cursing how easily affected she was by him. Her body instantly responded to his closeness at times like these, desiring his presence.

"Thank you Gibbs," she said and let her eyes find his.

He hesitated for a second.

"Just a beer," he then simply replied as he leaned back against the kitchen counter and crossed his arms, seemingly relaxed. Ziva let her eyes drop to the bottle in her own hand and fiddled slightly with the label on it, letting her nails run over the rounded edge, scratching it with ease. She clarified.

"No, I meant.. Thank you for letting me stay here tonight. And… Thank you for not stopping me when I went to that harbor. With everything that has happened lately… It was not just a case. It was personal as well. I know you understand that. I needed to have that fight with Bodnar. It had to be me. I needed…" She paused, hesitating.

"Revenge?" Gibbs questioned, the word echoing in his head from the talk he had with Tony approximately 24 hours earlier. The way he asked her made it sound more like an offer than the defensive declaration it had sounded like the night before.

"Yes," she replied honestly and continued "I know I should not, but it is the truth. I have no illusions about what kind of man my father was – the kind of life he lived. But nevertheless, he was my father. He was all I had left, and now… I have nothing. He is gone, and I needed to make sure that Bodnar got what he deserved for taking him from me. What I feel is not some ridiculous notion of avenging my father, but rather it is because I am selfish. I did it for myself. What kind of person that makes me, I am not sure of."

She placed her still untouched beer on the counter next to where she stood and looked up at Gibbs with dark brown eyes that spoke of defeat. Bruises had formed on her body, and her face was marred with cuts, but the beauty of her still struck him at that moment.
He uncrossed his arms before he too put his bottle on the counter next to them. Opening his arms slightly for her and holding one out for her to grab onto, he gently waved her closer.

"C'mere"

Ziva carefully stepped closer, reaching out and letting her hand slide into his. He slowly tugged her into a warm embrace, still leaned against the edge of the kitchen counter.

"I know.." Gibbs simply replied, his voice a gentle murmur in her ear as he gently cupped her head, letting his fingers caress her dark hair. "You're not a bad person Ziver. And you are not alone, no matter how things may seem."

The Israeli felt the tears rush to her eyes and squeezed them shut, letting her hands grab onto the shirt on Gibbs' back, not wanting to ever let go again.
She knew that she was not alone.

End of chapter 1