Chapter one
He had left her. He'd been right to do so, she knew that, but he had said it and it had hurt.
Elissa was not one for romance novels, she did not care for the petty love of two people drawn together amidst unbeatable odds, and still manage to be together in the end. Elissa had learnt early on that there were no happy endings. There was hard work, there was blood, sweat and tears and there was loss. You did not gain what you did not earn.
Being the daughter of a Teyrn did not grant her privileges that those lesser than her could not get. Of course, she was not an idiot. There was things she was entitled to from birth. Money, food, the finest clothing and training in whatever study she wished. She could read and write better than most other nobles, but her father would not simply give her the best without her having earned it first.
So, she concluded, taking Morrigan's offer seemed like a cheat. A grey warden would have to die. That was the only way to slay the archdemon. Riordan, being the eldest of the order had said that he would be the one to make the final blow. But Elissa did not count on it.
With the size of the darkspawn army, Elissa would have been dumb to not make secondary plans. No, if all else failed, if Riordan could not kill the dragon, then it would be her to make the final blow. She would sacrifice herself for Ferelden.
But to go through with the ritual? To create a child that would have the soul of the Archdemon within it from birth? It felt wrong. What if this child posed a threat later on in life? Elissa thought of Morrigan as a sister, but she did not doubt if the witch had a chance to manipulate the world for herself, she would do it. Not to say that she was evil, as... as he would have put it. But she was a powerful maleficar, and extremely dangerous.
Elissa sighed, running a hand through her hair. The anxious pain in her chest would not falter, no matter what she did to disperse it. She paced, she read, she tried to sleep. She laughed at that. Sleep. as if such a thing were possible with impending death on the horizon. And with the Archdemon more powerful than ever, when she did sleep she would wake screaming after only minutes of dreaming.
No it was much better just to dwell, she thought bitterly to herself. Allow herself to sit and wallow in her self induced misery. What would her father think of her? Allowing herself to be hurt by a silly boy. She doubted he would involve himself in such matters. No, it would have been her mother drying her tears and telling her to muster her courage. There will always be others, she would have said.
But there would not be other that night. No one would fill the emptiness in her heart in years to come.
Nothing would fill the void left from the deaths of her family completely, but Alistair… he had held her hand and helped her through her grieving. He had been there when she could not bare it any longer and the facade of this strong woman that was not phased crumbled under his loving touch.
To think that she was just sex to him now, practise for his future wife, whoever she may be. It tore her heart in two and it was hard to bite back the tears that threatened to rip her apart too.
She couldn't be thinking about this right now. Not with the final battle tomorrow, not with Thedas' lives resting on her shoulders alone.
She pushed herself from the side of the bed, and walked towards the door. She should at least do something productive whilst she waited. She would check the camps again, see if there was anything the army's needed before they marched in the morning. She doubted they would mind a fourth visit from her, it just meant they would prepared come the battle. And all the better for it.
Nodding to herself she opened the door, and instantly regretted it.
He was standing in front of her, his face hardly visible in the dimness of the hall. Tall and overshadowing her frame even without his heavy armour on.
"We need to..talk." He'd said it the same way he had when he'd left her, and her heart stung. "It's important."
"When is anything not important these days?" She hadn't meant to put so much venom into her voice, but she was hurting. And judging by the look on his face then, she had hurt him. "Come in." She motioned her hand past her as she leant against the door frame.
He ducked his head and walked towards the bed, sitting himself down and watching her follow.
"What's so important?" She asked, crossing her arms. He noticed that, noticed how she guarded herself against him. Her back straight, formal. Just as she had been taught when dealing with nobles whose heads were shoved too far up their asses.
He swallowed and hesitated for a moment, not knowing how to word it. "Morrigan," And then she knew. He had come to talk about the women's plan. A chance for both of them to live. Of course he wouldn't let her sacrifice herself. He would feel guilty then wouldn't he. "has told me something."
Elissa said nothing, simply watched him with her cold green eyes.
He swallowed again. "Elissa, I know you are mad at me. But please see reason. If I am going to be king, I would need an heir. Something neither of us would ever be able to do. Don't you love Ferelden?"
"Why else do you think I put you on the throne and not Anora?" She spat. "Do not question my love for my country."
Alistair sighed and stood, pausing for a second before he started towards her only stopping when he noticed she stepped back. "Elissa. Morrigan told me that she spoke to you. She told me I should ask you about what. I've never seen the woman so serious."
"And it is already sorted, you needn't bother worrying about it. Now, if you could kindly leave." She turned away, reaching for the door before he could stop her.
"Stop it." he boomed, forcing her to jump away from the door in shock. "Stop pushing me away and tell me what she said." Elissa had only once ever heard him speak like that in the entire year they knew each other. And that was when she had carelessly thrown herself into a throng of darkspawn and he'd almost lost her.
She resisted the urge to snort. He'd been so worried about her dying and here they were again, talking about her death. Though he didn't know it. "You wouldn't like it." She muttered over her shoulder. "You would never agree to it, and I would not let you."
"You do not decide for me." His voice was softer, but she could still feel the hardness to it. If she weren't so damn angry at him, she'd be proud. He was finally thinking for himself.
She turned slowly, glancing at him for a second before forcing her gaze at the ground. "When a warden kills an archdemon, they die. They're soul travels into us and we can't handle it."
"So Riordan said."
"But what if the soul could be contained into something else.. someone else. Who ever made the final blow would live." Alistair chortled. crossing his arms and staring at her with confusion.
"What are you talking about? That's impossible."
"No, that is what Morrigan told me. She told me how it would be possible. But for it to work, we would need a male warden. We would need you. You would lay with her, and the child you create would absorb the Archdemons essence, allowing us to live." Understanding dawned on his face and he grimaced, pure disgust clear in his every feature .
"The child would absorb the archdemons essence?" Absolutely not. I am not going to have sex with that bitch just so I will survive. No. I would sooner have sex with Sten, or maybe Oghren."
So he still thought he would be the one to make the final blow. She shook her head. let him think it, there would be no chance of him going behind her back. Which she had no doubt he would do if she told him she intended to slay the archdemon. The guilt of her death would be too powerful for him to ignore otherwise.
"Which is why I did not tell you." She lied. "Now. Tomorrow is a big day, and your majesty's general needs her sleep." She opened the door again and signaled for him to leave. He paused beside her but she did not look at him. If he wanted to say something he was far too late. She had made her mind up. And he should know by now, when her mind was set there was nought that could change it.
She closed the door behind him and her legs buckled from under her. He had acted as though she were his everything. And to.. to just. She sighed. He was right, she knew that. But the pain of him leaving her still, it clung to her chest like a parasite. She hated him, but also loved the man he had grown to be. Because of your guidance, her brain spat in response. He would not made that decision if it were not for you.
She walked towards the bed and placed a hand on it's large wooden frame to steady herself. This was to be her last day in this realm, and she did not intend to leave it with such an agony in her heart. No. She would seek out the dwarf and the elf. They tended to be together, getting up to maker knew what. And at that moment she needed it.
With renewed vigor Elissa steadied herself and strode towards the great hall. They would undoubtedly be in the tavern, singing with the men and women, drinking away the fear that would be troubling them just as much as her. But first she would have to pass Morrigan and Alistair rooms without signalling she was leaving again.
She doubted she could take another meeting with either of them.
Alistair stalked to his room, anger burning in his belly as he thought over what Elissa had told him. How could the witch even begin to think he would accept that offer? Did she think that he held his own life above everyone else's? He scoffed to himself, of course she would think so little of him. He was a grey warden before anything else, he would sacrifice himself for the good of Thedas without a second thought. Some might think it was foolish, naive of him.
He repeated the Wardens mantra in his head. In peace Vigilance. In war, Victory. In death, Sacrifice.
It was expected of him, and as the new King of Ferelden, he would do his country one last honour and save it from impending doom.
But Ellana had seemed far too calm for his liking. Yes she had been upset, with him leaving, with him him breaking both their hearts. But he knew she still loved him, love could not be lost in a day. And she had seemed entirely at ease with his intended sacrifice.
'It is sorted…' Those words left an uneasy feeling in his gut and he turned the words over in his mind. He had not known about the witches plans at that point, and she had seemed eager to get rid of him. He had thought it was only her anger towards him, that his closeness to her hurt her as much as it pained him.
But, as he thought it over, it made less and less sense. And if he knew his heart, as he was sure he did, she had already planned what would happen in the coming fight.
She would sacrifice herself. For the good of her country, so that it's newly appointed king would survive to rebuild. She would die. And he would live.
Alistair punched outward blindly, the sudden anger with his realisation over coming him and his fist met with the wooden door to his room. How could she think he would not figure it out? Did she think he was so stupid? Did she think he didn't care any more and that he would let her die?
He let out a huff, running a hand through his tousled hair. He was now king yes, but the plan for the battle was ultimately hers. If she chose for him to stay at the castle, to sit the fight out, he would have to follow. Though he would put up one damn good fight against it. But he knew his duty came first, not only as a grey warden, but as a leader.
And he also knew where her duty lay. If Riordan failed it would be up to her to make the final blow. She was the last chance Ferelden had. If she fell, Thedas might well follow. And she wanted him to sit pretty on his throne whilst she sacrificed herself. He couldn't breathe with the image of her death, whilst he stood watching helplessly.
Maker he never wanted this.
Alistair pushed himself away from the door, head down as he walked across the hall to the witches room.
Maker forgive him, but he could not lose her. Not like that.