When Joy is All You Have
The evening was grey and bitter with the winter's chill. Riley ran deep into the alley with her two cronies as the place grew dark around them. Riley ran a lot these days. The running still made her heart thump heavily. Yet, she felt calm, so calm she didn't even feel the slightest unease as the three of them slowed down and looked back. They were not being followed.
"How much have we got?" Bruce asked with just the hint of a smirk. He was twenty-two, the same age as Riley, but looked years older. A scar threatened to tear his right cheek apart. It came from a fight with his dad years ago, he had claimed.
"About… ten thousands, I guess." Catalina replied through her panting as she inspected the bag she carried. Younger than her cronies by four years, she was new to the business. This was only the second time Riley did this with her.
Riley grumbled, "If you hadn't triggered the alarm, we'd have got twenty thousands, Cat."
Inside Riley's mind, Joy could see the tightness around Catalina's lips, the glint of a suppressed anger. This disturbed the yellow emotion. She wasn't happy about what Riley was doing. Come on, Riley. If you're caught doing this, you'll be in big trouble. You'll be more than just expelled from school. You should feel scared… To think of that sent a quiver down Joy's spine. But there wasn't anything she could do. Fear wasn't here at the console. In fact, as Joy glanced around the Headquarters, she was seeing no emotion other than herself.
Joy swallowed. Her hair had become frazzled, and her now dull skin had lost the golden glow it used to emit. It'd been exhausting to drive the console on her own without the help from her four friends. But Joy would keep going. She wouldn't give up on her girl, no matter what.
Riley can still be saved. Think positive, Joy…
Joy hadn't seen her friends for years. She missed them. It had been a benign brain tumor, she remembered. The doctor had said something about having to surgically remove a part of Riley's brain, a part called 'amygdala' or 'limbic system' or something. When the surgery began and the anaesthetic was injected into Riley, the whole Headquarters blinked into an ethereal darkness. All Joy could recall was that she sank into a deep sleep alongside Sadness, Fear, Disgust, and Anger. When she awoke, her four friends had already disappeared.
Since then, Riley had changed.
Joy used to be excited about new adventures, but this change hadn't made her happy in any way. With four of her emotions gone, Riley had become… weird. First, she started responding to her friends with coldness. Then her grades slipped. Then she got herself into fights and was expelled from school. After that, she was running away from home, this time for real. And now…
"Let's share the money." Bruce chimed in.
"Cool," Riley agreed. "Bruce and I will each have two thousands and two hundreds. Boss will have five thousands. The rest is yours, Cat."
Catalina glared at her, face twisted into a disgusted snarl. "This isn't what we've discussed, Riles –"
"You've screwed up." Riley interrupted her. "You still have six hundreds. You should call yourself lucky."
The coldness in Riley's voice made Joy cringe. It felt as though a freezing wind had just stabbed at her chest. She liked this even less. Through Riley's eyes, Joy stared petulantly at the bag that contained their spoils, unease in her stomach, as if the money was covered in every vile filth known to humankind. What'd Disgust say? She almost asked. You've always thought that thieves are gross, Riley. You should feel disgusted. As Riley's face remained as still as a frozen lake, Joy found herself wishing that Disgust was here with her.
"Screw you, Riles." Catalina cursed, her eyes filled with venom. "This is just like the last time. I'm quitting. I'm not doing this with you guys anymore –"
Riley's fist came shivering through the air.
Her punch met Catalina's stomach. When Riley's fist sank into Catalina with a heavy thud, her console was neutral, emotionless. Catalina gave a shrill grunt, like a dog beaten by its owner, and fell to the ground. Bruce's eyes widened with a barely repressed glee. Then Riley hissed, "So you think it's smart to say this to your partners in crime, Cat? To ME? Shut up and hand us our shares."
In a way, what Riley had done just now reminded Joy of Anger. Before the change, Anger had made Riley fight the bullies at her high school, once. But that wasn't the same: Back then, when Riley fought, she was doing so to protect her friends from the bullies, but when Riley assaulted Catalina, her eyes looked like a glacier: Frozen, unmoving, and dead. She wasn't trying to protect anyone. Whatever state Riley's mind was in, it was something alien to Joy. It seemed to resemble Anger at first glance. But deep down, it was different from what her red friend embodied.
Catalina coughed. Her face was a twisted portrait of hate. Reluctantly, she picked herself up, rummaged the bag and worked to divide the money, with her back at her partners in crime. Riley and Bruce watched. Both surveyed Catalina with narrowed eyes.
"Hey, Riles." Bruce whispered into his partner's ear. "Cat is too unreliable. I think we should get rid of her."
"Are you sure?" Riley gasped. Her console was in a neutral color.
"You know, boss has never trusted Cat much. She's an idiot." Bruce confided, "He even heard that Cat may be playing the rat. He told me we should get rid of her if she shows any sign of wanting to quit."
Joy was taken back. Her heart stopped in her chest. For a long moment, she dared not breathe. A grave twilight shone onto Bruce's face. On the screen, she could see the devilish grin Bruce was trying to hide. "No, Riley… DON'T do this." Joy's insides twisted into an agonizing knot. It was a mixed feeling: She was scared what the consequences were going to be; She was disgusted by the devious look on Bruce's face; She was angry at the injustice he was trying to make Riley commit. If she could reach outside, Joy would've slapped Bruce in the face, hard.
Yet, Riley didn't share Joy's distress. The young woman thought for a while. There was only an icy coldness in her. "… That isn't a bad idea." Riley whispered back, and produced a Bowie knife from her pocket. Its edge gleamed silvery in the darkness, reflecting a face as hard as steel. Joy realized what Riley was thinking: Catalina's back was at her. This was a golden chance. To dispose of the corpse wouldn't be hard considering the high crime rate of the city.
"No, Riley… No…!" Joy said with a trembling voice. "DON'T do this…!" Ideas and thoughts chased each other in Joy's head as she tried to come up with something. Then Joy found her fury. She slammed her fist onto the recall button to summon a memory orb. The recall tube spat a glowing, yellow marble onto the projector. A memory began to play: The smiling faces of Mom and Dad appeared on the screen. Riley had been eleven back then. The three of them were at a carnival, eating cotton candy and laughing. "Come on, Riley! Remember Mom and Dad…! You should feel…"
Joy's eyes brimmed with tears. "… You should feel sad! They'll be so heartbroken if they see this…! You can't…"
For a brief instant, Joy's sorrow was blended with a pinch of hope. She was hoping that the memory orb would turn blue, and made Riley thought of all the things she'd lost since the change. But blueness didn't take over. Through the tears of her eyes, Joy saw the golden color of the memory orb fade into a dull shade of grey. Joy thought of her best friend Sadness, and tears began to flood down her cheeks.
"Please, Riley…!" Joy sobbed, reaching her hand towards the screen, hoping that Riley would hear her.
Bruce smiled thinly. Riley slid forwards in silence, approached Catalina from behind, and raised her knife.
Inside her Headquarters, Joy was a ruin. She sank to her knees, clutching at the console, thinking of Fear, Disgust, Anger, and Sadness, praying that one of them would appear behind her and stop Riley from doing what she was doing. In her desperation, Joy flailed all over the console, trying to find a button that could stop Riley. But that didn't happen. The console only responded to Joy's touch by emitting a faint yellow glow.
As Riley aimed her knife at Catalina's back, she wasn't feeling scared of the consequences; She wasn't feeling disgusted by the lowly act she was committing; She wasn't feeling angered by the injustice of the whole thing; And she wasn't feeling sad about the hearts she was going to break. Instead, a soft, sick grin found Riley's lips when she got close enough to strike. There was only one emotion in her.
Joy.
She sank the blade into Catalina.
The End