Chapter Summary: Kanan makes his decision.
As Hera parked the Ghost in the lot on the ground of Coruscant, the lower levels of the city buzzed. Hera was so used to the darkness, grime, and noise that she barely noticed it anymore. She knew where to park that was safer than other places and knew how to keep herself safe. If she didn't, she wouldn't have lasted long in this business.
When Hera watched the ramp of the Ghost lower itself, she heard Chopper moving towards the control panel, talking to itself. She knew she could bet money on it that he was complaining about the person she was meeting with again and she smiled slightly, but decided to let it go. Sometimes things just could not be helped.
As the Twi'lek walked down the ramp when it was finally on the ground, she heard a couple of beings walk past, whispering to each other or talking in drunken play. She ignored them as best as she could. Her mind was wandering to someone else, and her heart was already searching for him. It had been months since she had last seen him, so when he told her he would be at their regular meeting place to meet her, it was the happiest news that Hera heard all week, and the thing she had been looking forward to for days.
Looking into the open doorway of the canteen that they regularly went to, Hera's gaze searched for a tall man in hooded robes. Sure enough, he was standing by the doorway, keeping his distance but also watching over the lot, being weary and dodging drunks as they moved in and out of the doorway. The music echoed a bit in the streets, bouncing off the different ships.
Hera smiled, feeling relief as she spotted the figure, immediately knowing who it was. Kanan always wore his robes and hood when they were meeting with each other. It helped to keep Kanan out of sight and mind, making him easy to blend in with his surroundings so much that even most sober beings didn't give him a second glance.
All the while when she was looking at him, she didn't realize that he was thinking about the conversation he had with his former Master a couple of days ago.
"You can't follow in the ways of the Jedi as long as you stay with her. Your attachments will cloud your judgement and progress. The Council will make you choose."
"Then you won't like my answer."
When Kanan spotted her walking towards him, he began to walk over to her as well. Getting closer, she saw the relaxed smile on his face. She gave him one back, not being able to help the small tug on her lips.
Meeting halfway, his hood had slipped down by the time they came together. He was smiling down at her, and she up at him. Within seconds she felt more comfortable just with being close to him. He always seemed to have that effect on her, and he told her that she him. She remembered how he told her that even just thinking of her while on his missions to other worlds made him feel better almost instantly. Or how he lived for the nights that they were together.
It had been a complicated and was mostly a long distance relationship. Hera was away often for smuggling and other acts she was paid for and Kanan was not often on Coruscant now that he was a Knight. It wasn't just his Jedi duties, but also his own extra work in helping the rehabilitation of the clones, now retired in war, and helping them find ways to treat their growing addictions and PTSD. Hera had always tried to help as best she could, usually making sizeable donations that only Kanan knew were from her. But between everything, having a night alone, or even just meeting for a couple of hours in secret were hard to find, especially as things were getting busier and another threat of war was upon the Republic.
As complicated and distant as their relationship could be, everything always seemed so simple to Hera when they were together.
As he took her hands, Kanan leaned in to kiss her, the kiss lasting for a couple of seconds before he pulled back and stared back down at her again.
"I swear that you get more beautiful every time that I see you," Kanan smiled.
Hera rolled her eyes.
"You are starting early tonight," Hera joked.
Kanan's smile widened and he regarded her for a moment before looking up and over her shoulder towards the Ghost.
"Well, before we spend some time with some rowdy drunks, do you think I can make a request?" he joked.
Hera shrugged, playing along.
"Perhaps. It depends on the request. I am a very busy girl you know."
"The pretty ones always are," Kanan smiled.
Hera couldn't help but roll her eyes again. This time she was sure that she heard it this time.
"You are being overly corny tonight," Hera told him. She then looked up at him and shrugged, "but I guess I can ponder on your request."
Kanan did not miss a beat.
"I will require some space on the Ghost for quite a bit," Kanan told her, a joking smile on his lips. "It'd be nice to get out of that terrible hotel."
Raising an eyebrow, she shook her head and laughed lightly, playing along with the joke. Staying in a hotel? That was new, but then again she knew he made that joke before.
"And can I ask why?"
"I left the Order."
Within seconds Hera's entire joking mood dropped when she could see from Kanan's expression that he was serious.
There was a pause of silence. Out of all the answers that Hera could ever think of, that was not one of them. His strict face had a purely honest expression. Hera felt as though her heart was starting to skip beats. Her breathing paused as Hera froze in surprise about that information.
She felt her stomach starting to think.
No.
Oh no.
"Kanan…." Hera finally breathed out, her voice slightly shaky. "You…you can't…Kanan the Temple is your life! You can't do this just for…"
You can't just do this for me.
She couldn't say the last part.
Hera felt her stomach twisting in fear and guilt. She couldn't do this to Kanan. She could allow him to give up everything he had in his life at the Temple just for her.
"Hera…" Kanan tried to explain, but Hera hurriedly interuptted him.
"Kanan, you need to go back," Hera said, her voice in slight panic. "You can't leave your life just because of me, Kanan. You can't ruin your life like this."
Kanan's face twisted in slight surprise and true confusion.
"Hera, do you think that I'm ruining my life doing this?" he asked.
The Twi'lek couldn't answer him. She looked down, guilt painted all over her face.
Kanan was patient though. His hands held her face gently, moving it so that her face was turned up to look up at his. He stared down at her, his eyes soft and loving as he stared into her's. His thumbs gently stroked over her cheeks to both calm her and in loving tenderness.
"Hera," Kanan told her softly, "when forced to make the decision, I had my answer before they were done asking the question. I can live without them, Hera. I can't live without you."
Feeling as though she couldn't breathe, Hera stared back up at him, her eyes searching his. There was no guilt or regret to be found anywhere, only pure devotion. She felt her breath catch her in throat for a brief second before it was finally able to breathe out. She thought that she felt sick to her stomach, but then realized that it was butterflies, a magic taking her over all over again.
Kanan could see her slight bewilderment and he continued to tell her, his voice soft in persuasion, "no matter if the Council members asked me a thousand times, in a thousand cities, in a thousand worlds, and in a thousand galaxies, I will always choose you."
Those words only made Hera's stomach flutter even more. She gulped, trying to find her voice before she whispered, still not fully believing what had happened, "I love you, too."
She watched Kanan smile down at her before leaning down. The Twi'lek closed her eyes and kissed him back when she felt his rough lips against her soft ones. The kiss was soft yet deep, both of them knowing that it was more than just a kiss. It was an acceptance and an expression of the unveiled devotion that they felt for each other. It was of unity, a connection that neither had truly, purely, completely accepted or felt before.
By the time Hera pulled back, her own hands were gently at the top of Kanan's neck, holding him. As she pulled away, Hera gently guided Kanan's head down as she leaned in, moving their foreheads together, leaning against each other. Hera smiled before a very soft chuckle rumbled in her throat.
"You are the most amazing, and the stupidest man I've ever met, Kanan," Hera joked. "Thank goodness their is a place on the Ghost for you."
She felt Kanan shake in slight laughter, both of their smiles widening.
"You're everything to me, Hera," Kanan told her gently. "It'll always be you. In a million different galaxies, I will always choose you."
Hera smiled, taking in a deep breath to try and calm her rapidly beating heart.
"And I will love you back," Hera replied in a soft voice, feeling the connection between the two intwining even more, "in every single one."