When did the tender love and need to protect my little brother turn into this spiraling torment. When did hate start to beat out love? or are they equal. I think I could hate him as much as love him or vice versa. When did the pain and suffering turn me into this dangerous creature? Why didn't I notice the change of the position on a pedestal he had occupied. When did my mind cast him into the dirt? in my mind's eye he is so beautiful in his pain. the pain I wish to cause him. When did my Al become my darkest, coldest, sickest thing in my head. How much longer can I contain this desire? I am of an age to have sexual discovery but until now I ignored those thoughts while trying to repair our physical I ignored the mental to the point that it degraded without me knowing. By the time I realized it I was too far gone. My mind is as mangled as my body. I want to keep mine as it is but I need to get his body back so I can destroy his soul like my is. we have to be together in darkness as I tried for light but too late for that now. I try not to show my sicklier grin when I look at him. around me my descent into madness goes unnoticed. Everyone thinks me so forward. I never hide right? Maybe before but now all I do is hide. How much longer can I? I feel like I can't sink father into the insanity but before this depth I would not have thought this possible. Is there a darker place I could sink in this oily, slithering, vicious thing I've become? I feel like I'm perfect now. My mind and body match. Al's will too. I am perfect now. I know how to make the madness into living Technicolor now. The philosophers stone. The red like the blood I will feed on from my love. this is my love now. the only love I will ever know. what else could I need but my victim? I will transmute him a tower. my caged doll he will become. Before I would not have done this to get him back. we were not willing to go so far but I am willing to go as far as it takes and then push the darkest, dankest corners of my mind past their limit if such a thing exists. I rock back and forth between breaking his body and soul as hard and fast as possible or if I should drag it out as long as possible. Forever must be possible between us. More taboos. I will trade all souls for the one shining paragon of purity I will defile.
NOW.
He is here now beside me. His trembling white body, his shallow breathes, his utter confusion as sweet as sugar to me. I will devour him. I hide the stone and feign surprise. "Al! You are back but how?" "Not you Brother?" I almost lose my composure when he says Brother with that soft pink mouth and darting little tongue. will I rip it out? With the stones I could learn to break and repair my toy forever. I will twist his mind until violence is sex and until sex is violence. we will extinguish the light together until the darkest depths are explored. until we are blinded by dark.
The bedroom now with my alchemy I will cut him apart and feed on his purity. He will suffer for the pleasure I will give him. Equivalent exchange. He is naked still.