Back to Reality

by

Alobear

Author's Note: This wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to be done with Supernatural. There are people waiting for stories in other fandoms. I thought Benny would be satisfied with the last story I wrote – True Blood Brother – but apparently he isn't. So, here's a fix to the start of Season Eight for Benny. Blame the vampire. I know I do. He likes it. Okay, shutting up now...

Warnings: Spoilers for Season Eight, Episode One and anything related to purgatory throughout Season Eight, plus probably a few references to things that happened in previous seasons as well. Things transpire somewhat differently in my version of the start of Season Eight, though, so this is AU. Also, this is a talk-y one – a 'side-of-the-road heart-to-heart' type, rather than a 'blood-and-guts' type, so don't be expecting much in the way of action-adventure. Lastly, I am so far from being able to accurately replicate Benny's speech patterns in text that I haven't even tried, so you'll just have to imagine the accent.

Pairings: Dean/Benny (dear lord, I'm writing vampire porn...)

Rating: Nothing graphic in either the violence or the sex categories – sorry if the porn reference above got your hopes up!

Summary: Taking liberties with the idea of what Dean and Benny 'did' in purgatory, what if Dean came back with a somewhat different attitude to their continuing association?

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Chapter One – Together Again

Dean stood over the open grave, looking down at the skeleton he had revealed. It had taken him four days to get there, and darkness had closed in around him as he neared his destination. He had decided not to wait for daylight to complete his task, though; he had waited long enough. He took a knife from his belt and drew back his sleeve to expose the mass of writhing red energy just beneath the skin of his forearm. He sliced the knife across it, grimacing at the pain, then held his arm over the grave and spoke the words of the ritual as the energy streamed out of his flesh and enveloped the skeleton.

And suddenly Benny was there, standing in the scrub a few feet away, real and in the flesh. Dean stared at him for moment, drinking in the sight of him. He felt awkward, as if the fact they were now in the human realm might make things different between them.

"Wow, that was fast," he said, for want of anything better.

"No thanks to you," Benny replied, his usually soft tones harshened into a growl. "What the hell took you so long?"

"You're welcome," Dean muttered, hiding his uncertainty with sarcasm. He wondered why Benny was still standing so far away, but didn't want to make himself vulnerable by asking.

Benny smiled and rolled his head from side to side, cracking his neck.

"Everything working?" Dean was getting frustrated with the inanity of the encounter so far. They had escaped purgatory, he had brought Benny back from the dead, and now they were standing in the middle of nowhere, exchanging pleasantries. He stood his ground, waiting for Benny to make the first move.

"Good enough," Benny replied, snarling and showing his vampire teeth.

Then, he took two quick steps forward and grabbed Dean's hand. Finally given an opening, Dean pulled him into a fierce hug

"We made it," Benny said softly, his breath tickling Dean's ear. "I can't believe it."

"You and me both," Dean replied, relishing the feel of Benny against his body after their enforced separation.

They'd been practically in each other's pockets for the better part of a year, so the solitary trip from the portal exit to Benny's grave site had been horribly lonely. It had also been very tense. Dean had been on edge the whole way, expecting monsters to jump out from behind every tree, and Benny hadn't been there to back him up. Of course, the monsters hadn't been there, either, but his habits from purgatory were proving very difficult to shift. Dean pushed Benny away from him slightly and held his gaze for a long moment, then leaned in and kissed him hard. He felt a reassuring answering need from Benny but, when they broke apart, there was concern in the vampire's eyes.

"You okay, Dean?" he asked.

"I am now," Dean said, his voice rough. "I missed you."

"Doesn't feel like more than two shakes to me since we were back in purgatory," Benny said. "Guess I got the better end of the deal, hitching a ride."

Dean looked at him askance. "So, when you were chewing me out a minute ago about taking too long..."

"Just yanking your chain," Benny said with a smirk, dodging away as Dean aimed a mock punch at him.

"Say," he continued, glancing around as if suddenly remembering something, "did the angel bug out again already?"

In his mind's eye, Dean flashed back to Cas' face, staring up at him in anguish, as their hands pulled apart and the portal closed, leaving Cas behind. He pushed the memory away forcibly, and drew Benny to him again.

"I don't want to talk about him," he said, fisting his hands in the fabric of Benny's jacket.

"Talking's over-rated, anyway," Benny replied.

There were no more words for some time.

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Later, they lay in the grass, looking up at the night sky above them. Dean marvelled at the richness of the velvety black, studded with countless stars. The endless, unchanging half light of purgatory had been a torture of tedium, and the novelty of the real world cycle of day and night hadn't yet worn off. Beside him, Benny chuckled.

"What's funny?" Dean asked.

"Having sex on my grave," Benny said, turning his head to look at Dean. "That's pretty twisted, brother."

Dean smirked back. "Not as twisted as you calling me that. I already have a brother, and that's most definitely not what I want from you."

Benny rolled up onto one elbow, reaching out with the other hand to trace an intricate pattern down Dean's bare chest.

"Speaking of your brother," he said slowly. "What's he going to say about you turning up with me in tow."

"Nothing good," Dean said, closing his eyes against the barrage of conflicting feelings that flooded him. Now that Benny was alive and whole again, finding Sam was his top priority, but he didn't know how he was going to explain anything about purgatory to his brother, especially the fact that he had hooked up with a vampire. He turned his head to face Benny, his jaw set.

"Doesn't matter, though. He's just gonna to have to get used to it. And, if he can't, well, we'll cut him loose." The words shocked him as they came out of his mouth, not least because he knew they were true. After all they had gone through in purgatory, Dean wasn't about to give Benny up, just because he was afraid of what Sam might think.

He was distracted from this line of thought by Benny nuzzling his neck.

"Mmmm," Benny murmured. "You smell good enough to eat."

Dean shifted away, swatting at the vampire with his hand. "Hey, hey," he said. "Don't get any ideas. I am not your personal snack bar."

He'd been wondering when the issue of Benny's hunger might come up and had been hoping it wouldn't be this soon. It hadn't been an problem in purgatory, since neither of them had needed to eat to sustain themselves there, but of course that wouldn't be the case now they were back in the human realm. Dean knew from personal (albeit brief) experience what the hunger for blood was like, and how hard it was to resist, and he realised it was something they'd have to plan carefully for on their travels.

Benny was regarding him seriously. "Don't worry," he said. "It may have been a while, but I've managed the hunger before. I stopped killing humans long before I ended up in purgatory. It won't be easy, but I'm not gonna welch on our agreement."

He froze suddenly and cocked his head as if listening. Then he reached out with lightning speed and grabbed something from the grass. When he brought his hand back round, it held a squirming rodent. Dean scrabbled backwards in surprise, then regarded Benny with disgust.

"You're not seriously gonna...?" He didn't want to finish the sentence, let alone witness the act.

Benny grinned, bringing his vampire teeth down over his human ones. "Welcome to the realities of keeping me on the straight and narrow," he said.

Mercifully, he then turned away before actually embarking upon his meal, though Dean could still hear the squeaking, the crack of tiny bones, and the sucking noise of Benny draining the rat dry. He shivered in the night air. Things were going to be very different now they were out of purgatory.

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They slept for a couple of hours, but the rising sun in their exposed location woke them early. Benny hissed as he squinted into the light, and scrabbled for some shade.

"Oh, hey," Dean said, reaching for the rucksack he'd stolen from the campers up in Maine. "I got you something."

He searched around inside the bag, and came up with a small bundle, which he tossed to Benny.

The vampire caught it deftly and unwrapped it to reveal a flat cap and some thick sunglasses. He put both on immediately, heaving a sigh a relief as they significantly reduced the glare. He grinned over at Dean.

"Always thinking ahead," he said. "Thanks. How far d'you have to come to get me, anyway?"

Dean grimaced. "The portal spat me out in the middle of nowhere up in Maine. Took me four days to get all the way down here. And it'll take at least that for us to get where I'm planning to try and meet up with Sam."

Benny stretched, popping his shoulder joints. "Well, I appreciate you making the detour, friend," he said.

"I figured you're probably worth it," Dean replied with a smile. "Though I'll expect you to earn your keep on the way. How're your pool skills?"

"My what?" Benny looked confused.

"Pool," Dean repeated. "As in hustling. That's how I got enough money to eat on the journey. Though it very nearly backfired in a couple of places; I'm a bit rusty, so losing the first few games wasn't so much of an act as usual."

It had actually been more than a little nerve-wracking, running the pool con on his own. Win or lose, there was always the risk that his opponents might take exception to being duped, or to the fact that he didn't have enough money to pay his debts. Even with his honed fighting skills from purgatory, or perhaps because of them, Dean had been very wary of getting in over his head. Facing down multiple opponents in a bar could have easily led to a very big mess; either because they landed a lucky shot, or more likely because he accidentally killed one of them, taking the fight too far on instinct.

"I'm afraid I'm no great shakes at a pool table," Benny admitted. "But I'm betting there are other ways I can help supplement our income. They still do cage fighting in these modern times?"

Dean looked at him appraisingly. "Cage fighting? Isn't that a bit risky? What if you get hurt?"

Benny showed his teeth. "Pretty hard to hurt me," he said. "Besides, I heal quick. And it's sight more honest than hustling pool."

"Using vampire speed and strength to win a cage fight is more honest than pretending to suck at pool?" Dean countered. "You just keep telling yourself that."

He heaved himself to his feet and put his t-shirt on, then held out a hand to pull Benny up, too.

"So, this is your land?" he asked, looking around.

"Was," Benny corrected. His eyes were shadowed, as if haunted by bad memories. "A long time ago. Doesn't look like anyone's been taking care of the place while I've been gone."

"I guess things must have changed in fifty years, huh?" Dean said. "But you presumably still know which way to town."

Benny looked a little uncomfortable. "What do you need in town?" he asked.

"Pay phone for one," Dean explained. "Now that I've got you back, I need to call Sam and let him know I'm alive. The way things happened back at SucroCorp, chances are he doesn't even know where I ended up. He must have been tearing his hair out trying to figure it out, especially with Bobby gone." He thought about all the friends and allies they'd lost over the years. "With me and Cas disappearing on him like that, he'd pretty much have no-one left."

Benny put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. "Hardly your fault," he said.

"Yeah, I know," Dean said heavily. "But still... I didn't try calling him before, because I knew I'd have to come down to Louisiana to raise you, but now it's time." He searched Benny's expression and saw lingering reluctance. "How come you don't want to go to town?"

Benny gestured at his open grave. "Things didn't exactly end well for me here," he said.

It was Dean's turn to offer reassurance. "Hey, man, that was fifty years ago. You don't seriously think there'd be anyone still around who'd recognise you, do you?"

Benny looked unconvinced. "Vampires have long lives, Dean, and long memories to go with them."

"They're not gonna be wandering around first thing in the morning, though, are they? Even if they are still here, which I doubt." Dean offered up a grin. "Besides, I hardly recognise you in that hat, so I think you're safe for long enough for me to make a couple of calls. Then we'll hit the road and leave this place far behind us, I promise."

Benny shrugged. "Okay," he said. "Follow me."

They made their way back down the track Dean had trudged up alone the night before. The sun was bright overhead, making the surrounding landscape seem much more welcoming than it had in the dark. Dean also felt much more relaxed now he had Benny back at his side again. He felt as if they'd be able to face whatever they encountered, now they were together.

All he had to face for the time being, though, was a phone booth, which they came across at the side of the road on the outskirts of town, outside a dilapidated gas station. Dean rootled around in his jeans pocket and came up with some change. He dialled the first of Sam's numbers that came to mind and his heart lurched at the sound of Sam's voice, even on the voicemail recording.

"Hey, Sam, it's Dean," he started, then paused as if waiting for a reaction. "Yeah, I know. I'll explain everything when I see you, but I'm really back - again. I don't know where you are or what you're doing, but I'm heading up to Rufus' cabin, so I'll meet you there as soon as you can make it." He paused again, as he realised something. "Crap," he continued. "I've got no clue what the date is. Sorry, I guess your voicemail will tell you when I left this message. I'm in Louisiana right now, so it'll take me a few days to get up to the cabin." He felt the message spiralling out of his control, as they were wont to do in weird situations like this. "I, uh, guess I'll see you soon. I hope, anyway. So, bye."

He hung up the phone, cringing at how lame he must have sounded, and actually hoping Sam didn't use that phone any more. Before calling any other numbers, he went into the gas station, where a sleepy girl behind the counter practically ignored him, and bought a local paper, a couple of bottles of water and some snacks. Benny loitered outside all the while, looking wildly suspicious in his hat and sunglasses.

Dean went back to the pay phone and called all the other numbers he could remember, though at least half of the ones he tried were out of service, which didn't bode well. When he did get through, it was always to voicemail, but his messages got shorter and more coherent as he went on, and eventually he was out of numbers to try. He rejoined Benny in the shade of a large tree on the other side of the street.

"Mission accomplished?" Benny asked.

Dean shrugged. "I left a bunch of messages," he said. "There's no way to know if and when he picks any of them up, since I don't have a number he can call back. There's a cabin up in Montana where we've holed up a few times, so I said we'd meet him there."

Benny gave a low whistle. "Montana's a long way from here, Dean."

"No further than I just travelled to get here," Dean said. "The cabin's a safe place Sam and I both know. And it's just possible he's been using it as a base all this time."

"So, how do you propose we get to Montana?" Benny asked.

Dean considered for a moment. "Well, hitching's only gonna be harder now there's two of us, and it'll really slow us down. Much as I hate to deprive some poor schmuck of his wheels, I think we're gonna have to steal a car."

"Well, if you're gonna beat yourself up about it, I remember there was a scrap yard a couple of miles over, back in the day," Benny said. "We might be able to find ourselves something there, assuming it still exists."

"Good thinking," Dean said. "It'll make it less likely anyone's gonna chase us, too, which can only be a good thing."

He went back into the gas station and used almost all his remaining cash to buy a container full of gas, then instructed Benny to lead the way.

The scrap yard was still where Benny remembered, though it had obviously been abandoned some time ago, which made it an even better target. Dean tried not to think of Bobby as they wormed their way through a gap in the chain link fence and wandered through the piles of worn out cars, but it was tough. Bobby's auto yard had been an almost home to him and Sam for so long, it was hard to think that he would never again sit in Bobby's kitchen, drinking beer, discussing how to gank whatever monster they were hunting that week. Of course, Bobby's house itself had been destroyed months before Bobby was killed, but the scrap yard still brought memories of it sharply into focus.

The cars looked steadily more and more road-worthy as they got closer to the buildings at the centre of the lot, and Dean eventually picked one out that looked like it might have promise. He opened up the hood and winced at the state of the engine, but the parts were mostly all there, and he figured he could get it running without too much effort.

It felt good to get back under the hood of a car. It was something he was good at, something normal, that was connected to life before purgatory, and Dean found it grounded him more than anything else had since he'd been back. He had to scrounge a few parts from other cars around the yard to add to the one he'd selected but, before too long, he managed to get it started.

He threw a triumphant grin at Benny, who had been watching him work all the while.

"Time to hit the road?" the vampire drawled.

Dean's sense of achievement disappeared the first time the car made a horrible grinding noise as he changed gear.

"I can't wait to get my baby back," he growled. "Sam had better have been treating her right."

He felt Benny bristle beside him. "Your what now?"

Dean grinned over at him. "My car, dude," he said. "Though I should warn you, she will always be my first love. I'm looking forward to introducing the two of you." He sobered. "She got pretty banged up again in the assault on SucroCorp – I can't believe I let a demon drive her." He shuddered. "Sam will have fixed her up, though, I'm sure. He knows how much she means to me."

Benny snarled, showing his vampire teeth briefly.

"Sounds like I've got some competition on my hands," he grumbled.

Dean laughed. "Dude, you've got to work on your self-esteem if you're seriously going to be jealous of my car."

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Dean found the next few days familiar, yet not. It was the old routine of driving all day, staying in cheap motels at night and hustling money out of unsuspecting strangers along the way, but it was the wrong car, and a very different passenger.

Benny's cage fighting turned out to be hugely successful, though. Despite spending fifty years in purgatory, Benny still knew how to find the fights in most of the places they stopped, and Dean found himself in the strange position of being able to watch Benny in action without having to worry about his own safety. He had initially wanted to take part in the fights as well, but had capitulated when Benny pointed out that they couldn't afford for him to get hurt. It rankled Dean just a little to be considered the fragile one, but he quickly started to enjoy the show. Benny skilfully pulled his punches just enough to be credible as human, and rarely had any trouble defeating several opponents in a row. Dean found watching him to be quite a turn-on, and Benny always left the cage full of adrenaline, so the sex afterwards was rough and exciting.

Obtaining blood was an entirely different matter. The first time they broke into the blood bank at a hospital, Dean felt dirty. He and Sam had pilfered medical supplies plenty of times, but it wasn't the same with something as difficult to replace as blood. He rationalised that it was far better than Benny attacking people, but it was still the least palatable aspect of the new regime.

Watching Benny sitting in the passenger seat of the car on the second day of their journey, sucking blood from the tube of a transfusion bag was more than a little disconcerting. Dean was particularly disturbed by the memories it dredged up.

"I was a vampire once, you know," he said, casually.

Benny did a double take. "You were what, now?"

"I'm not kidding," Dean said, thinking back. "It was about two years ago, after Cas pulled Sam out of hell minus his soul." He glanced over at Benny. "We were hunting a nest of vamps but we couldn't find their base so, when I got attacked by one of their recruiters, Sam let me get turned so I could infiltrate the group."

Benny stared at him. "He let you get turned?"

"Yep," Dean said, keeping his tone light, though the memory of Sam during that time gave him chills, despite the heat in the car. "Hunting with Sam was a whole barrel of laughs back then. Anyway, so I got inside the vamp headquarters and pretty much took out the whole nest single-handed. I gotta tell you – I don't miss the hunger one bit, but that super-strength and super-speed came in real handy."

"I don't understand," Benny said. "If you got turned into a vampire, how come you're human now?"

"Ah, now that was Sam's master plan," Dean told him. "We found out a while ago that vampires can be turned back into humans -" he continued quickly so as not to give Benny the wrong idea "- as long as the ritual is done before they feed for the first time. Being completely lacking in a sense of risk assessment or any kind of human feeling, my little brother figured me being turned would be the best way to get the job done." He twisted his features into an approximation of a smile. "Good times."

"How come you never told me this before?" Benny wanted to know.

Dean considered for a moment. "I guess I didn't think of it until now," he said. He nodded to the bag of blood in Benny's hand. "I think it was the smell of blood, reminded me what it was like to want it."

"But you didn't give in," Benny said. He looked down at the bag, then stuffed it in the glove compartment as if he wanted it out of sight. "You were strong enough to resist," he went on, his expression one of shame.

Dean suddenly wished he wasn't driving. With Sam, it always used to be easier to have conversations like this in the car, so they didn't have to look at each other while they talked. With Benny, though, it was different. In purgatory, touch had been one of their most important ways of communicating, not least because they had often been forced into silence for long periods so as not to alert the monsters to their location. He reached out with his right hand and laid it on Benny's knee.

"Don't be ridiculous, man," he said, though with affection. "I was a vampire for a few hours at most, and resisting the urge to feed is one of the hardest things I've ever done. And I knew it was only temporary, so I had strong motivation. You've got no way of changing what you are, but you've made the decision not to let it rule the way you live. That's way more impressive in my book."

"I guess there's still a lot we don't know about each other, huh?" Benny said.

"I guess so," Dean agreed. He thought back over the last few years and wondered how much of it he'd really want to revisit. He didn't come up with much. "And a lot of it's probably best off left that way," he said, wanting to pre-empt anything this conversation might prompt Benny to ask. "On both sides," he added, not sure he wanted to know about Benny's life before purgatory, either.

"Okay, I get it," Benny said. "We both have parts of our past we're not proud of, and what we have is about looking forward, not back. I can live with that." Dean focused on the road, but he could feel Benny's eyes on him. "But there are some things I think we need to talk about."

Dean's hands tightened on the wheel involuntarily. "Like what?" he asked.

Benny took a deep breath, as if gearing himself up for something unpleasant. "Like what happened to the angel," he said.

"Dammit, Benny, his name is Cas," Dean growled. The dismissive or outright hostile way in which Benny had always referred to and treated Cas had annoyed him from the start. He could understand it – Benny had never forgiven Cas either for abandoning Dean when they first arrived in purgatory or, conversely, for becoming the third wheel to their party after they found him again – but that didn't mean he liked it.

Benny raised his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry – Cas," he said. "But don't dodge the question. I know something happened that you don't want to talk about – and I want to know what it is."

Dean glared across at him for a moment. Why did Benny have to be so insistent?

"He didn't make it out," he ground out. "I left him behind, okay? I got up to the portal, and I was trying to pull him through, but I lost my grip and the portal closed before I could do anything." He thought back again to Cas' face as his fingers slipped through Dean's grasp. He put his foot down on the accelerator, wanting to escape the memory.

Now it was Benny's turn to reach out, putting his hand on Dean's shoulder. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean..." His voice petered out, as if he didn't know what to say. And what could he say? There was nothing either of them could do for Cas now. "I'm sorry," he said again.

"Yeah, well," Dean said, shrugging off Benny's touch. "It is what it is."

That night, Benny held Dean tightly after they had sex, his cool arms strong around Dean's body and his presence solid at Dean's back. But it did little to fill the hole inside that was Dean's anger at Cas for falling, and his anger at himself for letting him go.

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End of Chapter One – story concludes in Chapter Two – coming soon!

How will Sam react to Dean and Benny? How will Dean react to Sam's reaction? And how will Benny react to Dean's reaction to Sam's reaction?

Let me know if you want to find out!

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