Tears of an Angel, a good wife fanfic

Cover my eyes,

Cover my ears

Tell me these words are a lie…

Eli hands me the phone and I hold it to my ear.

"Alicia? It's me, Kalinda."

"Yes, Kalinda, what's wrong?"

"Will's been shot"

"He, what do you mean?"

"There was gunfire at the courthouse and he was shot."

"Will, I don't understand by who?"

"His client, I'm in the hospital, Will is dead, I'm sorry, Alicia, he was killed."

It's can't be true

That I'm losing you…

I waver a little as the words settle in. Kalinda's still talking but I'm not really paying attention. Eli steps forward and offers a comforting hand on my shoulder to stabilize me, but I wave him off. I can't handle being touched right now. Being touched will make me shatter.

The sun cannot fall

From the sky

Eli tells me to go, he says I'm in no shape. I'm really not, and I don't know where I'm going to go. As I drive to wherever I'm going, I stop at a red light. The world is still turning. A mother protects her child, the birds still fly.

Can you hear heaven cry?

The tears of an angel

The world is silent now. It's as if with the news of Will my ability to hear has disappeared.

Tears of an angel

It hits me then, the sobs wrack my body and I cover my mouth, desperation clawing at me. I know there will be many more tears.

Stop every clock

The stars are in shock

The river would run to the sea

Before I know where I'm driving, I'm pulling into the Lockhart/Gardner and I'm stepping into the elevator. This elevator holds so many memories, too many to grasp in this moment.

I won't let you fly

I won't say goodbye

I press the button for the 28th floor and the doors start to close. I watch them and an old memory plays in my head. It's just a hand, its stops the elevator from closing at just the last second. I follow the hand to the arm and into the face of "Mr. Georgetown." I haven't seen him since graduation. We had been the best of friends, well until Peter.

I won't let you slip away from me

As much as I want the memory to be reality, it's just that, a memory. The doors close completely and the elevator rises to the main office of Lockhart/ Gardner. As I step out of the elevator Diane catches my eye through the glass walls and walks to meet me. I hold it together until I feel her arms wrap around me.

Can you hear heaven cry?

The tears of an angel

I sob into Diane's shoulder as she leads me to her office.

The tears of an angel

We sit in Diane's office and she tells me she loved him

"I know" I reply

"He loved you" Diane says it simply, the words are meant to comfort, but it just digs a little deeper into my already damaged psyche. Diane excuses herself to talk to David Lee, who tells me he's sorry as he closes the door behind Diane. It's then that I pull out my phone. It's then that the world stops again. The world freezes as I see a missed call and a vague voicemail from Him. When Diane returns I am desperate to start a journey for answers, what was he calling for? What did it mean? As I turn to leave place my hand on Diane's shoulder and she reaches up to cover mine. As I enter the elevator my mind plays versions of the phone call Will intended to make.

"Alicia this feud is stupid…"

"Alicia, stop stealing my clients, get your own…"

So hold on

Be strong

Every day on we'll go

I make my way to the courthouse, so frantic for answers that I forget to contemplate what I might see. The scene is devastating, there is shattered glass barely clinging to its frame, and the courtroom resembles a modern day battlefield. Judge Politi leads me into the courtroom from his chambers. There is a random shoe on the floor marked by an evidence marker. My sights go to the prosecution's table, and there on the floor is a puddle of blood. I know without really knowing that is Will's blood and his shoe. It's funny how I'm thinking that someone should return it to him. He might need it. The blood on the floor and the show without its owner, abandoned will haunt me forever.

I'm here don't you fear

The judge points me to the hospital on my quest for answers. I'm at the hospital asking to see Finn, when my subconscious breaks with reality for a moment and I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn to see Will standing behind me. He smiles his carefree smile and tells me it was all a mistake. I shake me head throwing the hallucination out like dirty bath water. There's nothing but a flash of light.

Don't let go

Finn is in surgery but I get to talk to his assistant. As she says the words, the Will in my mind morphs into an angry Will, he's mad at me again and all that's there is a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. My heart is breaking and I know it's my fault.

Don't let go

I head home and as I sit in my kitchen, Grace tries to comfort me. She tells me Will is in heaven, he's with God. I don't even know what that means. I snap at Grace my grief coming to a sharp point. I see no mercy or compassion here. I see no purpose in Will's death it was all just an accident. An accident that left my best friend dead. The phone rings and I head to the hospital to meet Finn.

Don't let go

When I return from the hospital I am emotionally exhausted. I've already seen the black SUV out in front of my building and the security team outside my door. I know what's coming. I know that Peter is going to try to comfort me. He's going to want to touch me and I dread it. Being touched by him right now will be a physical pain. Peter steps close to me and rubs my arm. Already I feel pain akin to burning down my arm. He wraps his arms around me and I endure this breach on my personal space. I'm trapped in my husband's arms as I see the final version of Will's phone call play out.

"Alicia, I'm sorry, I want what we had, I want to be with you. Only you, forever. Call me back please."

On his last rod I close my eyes. He's gone. The man I love, the man I loved for so long and wouldn't admit it to. The man I ran from, is gone.

Cover my eyes

Cover my ears

Tell me these words are a

Lie.