I don't own "Momento Mori, Scully, Mulder or The X Files. This isn't for money or recognition – it's for me and for you and for fun!
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She had approached life as if invincible. It was neither hubris nor naivety - she simply lent no consideration to the frailty of flesh. She was strong, independent, intelligent and capable. She was a survivor - if anything, the last four years had proved that.
But whatever she may have believed before, the brilliant horizon of hope and possibility had been darkened with the certainty of uncertainty.
In the beginning, she regarded the translucent x-ray film as the picture of death. The tumor was inoperable. Untreatable. It was bomb, fuse lit and unstoppable. The only variable was time. She warred within, the two halves of her taking up arms for control. Skeptic Fighter, screaming for battle, blood, sweat and tears, urging her into combat, versus Doctor Scientist, silently pushing the reality of cancer to the forefront of her thoughts. The inevitable struggle of a mortally-wounded soul - fight heroically to the end? Or concede defeat and bow out of tragic misfortune. The latter would have been the obvious choice given the evidence in hand. The x-ray, the science, the horrific image of a dying Penny, struggling for last breaths as the very same demon conquered her.
Only one thought could end the war - Mulder. More than any fear of death, she feared for him - for what would become of him. He would never accept he was powerless to save her, to protect her. He would blame himself for not being able to stop the demon. For four years, he disregarded himself anytime her safety and well-being had been compromised. He loved her. She was as certain of it as she had ever been of anything. He didn't need to declare it – some things a woman just knows. She was as important to him as any truth he had ever dared to seek and she couldn't bear to think how her death would crush him. The pain only rivaled by the knowledge that she would have to say goodbye - to look into the depths of his hazel eyes and tell him he would have to continue on without her.
Once again, he gave her the resolve to hold on. She would fight this thing. She was no hero but she would never give up. How many times had Mulder's strength and courage sustained her? How many times had he appeared out of the darkness, reaching into the black and pulling her back to life? She owed him more than a quiet retreat. She owed him everything - her very life. And she would fight the monster threatening her life now with every breath left in her chest. She would fight for Mulder. She would fight for them both.