Pain into Power

Warnings: Occasionally OOC and emotionally unsound Goku, Hints of shota/underage, Shounen-ai, Overall insanity, Videl Bashing, Oh, Language obviously, Vegeta being Vegeta, and incest (its okay on Vegeta-sei) .This is written by a fangirl with no shame. You've been warned.

"Dont let him cry."

The Worlds Top Martial Art Champion was a glorious title. A titled wanted by many. A title that brought fame and fortune, fans and love. Yet, a title that couldnt save people. It couldn't give him the knowledge of ways to cure ailments or remove painful tumors and hernias. It could do nothing for Son Goku who stood wide-eyed and frightened in the doorway to the bedroom he shared with his wife. His dying wife.

"Dont let...my baby..cry..prom..ise."

"I-I promise Chi, b-but dont worry...you'll be ok..The senzus were workin' just fine before, then ya can make 'im stop yourself-"

The woman graced her husband with the largest smile she could muster in her condition, unseeing eyes and gaunt cheeks making the expression much more devastating than it was supposed to be. They'd been married for only a short couple of years but she loved the big dumb oaf just as much as she did in the beginning. She loved the child he gave her even more. "Bring Gohan..here."

Goku stiffened, helpless confusion evident on his face. "You said you didnt want Gohan seein ya like this til ya got betta...?"

The same expression stayed on his loves face but it seemed to grow weaker every passing second. There was a nagging feeling in the back of the mans head that begged that he stay, yet it only served to confuse him more, but he was filled with a sense of urgency as he felt his wives ki[1] wavering erratically and her expression turned desperate. He gulped and fled the room.

Bursting into the living room moments later, he found their child building some type of structure with his blocks on the carpet. His rush must have startled him because the boy looked up sharply, obviously wondering what was making such a loud racket before realization and joy dawned on him as his gaze landed on his father.

"Da?!" the boy squealed loudly, almost questioningly as he held his arms out to be lifted as if he already knew what his fathers mission was, "Dada!"

Bending over, the newly turned two-year-old was scooped up into his arms and he rushed back off in the direction he came from. The walk from one room to the other was no longer than a couple of seconds, but everything seemed to drag on in slow motion as he caught sight of his wife again in the bed.

She was gone.

"Da?"

Eyes were screwed shut in an attempt to block out the image of the dead, one hand pressing his child's face into his shoulder so he wouldnt see his mother like this, the other hand clenching and unclenching around painful fistfuls of hair as his breath rushed out of him as though he'd been punched.

His friend was gone. His wife was dead. The mother of his child didnt exist anymore. What was he supposed to do?

What was he going to do?

Tears sprang into his eyes as his grip on his hair intensified and the pain became excruciating as strands were ripped from his scalp. He didnt even realize he was crying, ki fluctuating and power rolling off him in waves. The wall behind them was cracking and eventually it gave out, chunks of wood and rock bursting out into the open with the influx of energy coming from him.

A peculiar, unexpected jab broke him from his destructive emotions. It was odd but it didnt hurt. It was just weird.

Turns out there was a chubby little finger jammed into his nostril.

Blinking owlishly, he spared a glance down to the bundle cradled to him with one arm. There was a mean little face glaring back up at him and he realized he had a death grip on the child but that didnt seem to be the reason for the expression. If anything, the glare was trained on one spot on his face.

"Dada cry."

It wasn't a question. The voice was as much firm as it was childish and the tiny finger removed itself, instead replaced by an equally tiny hand gently settling on his damp cheek.

"Dada..no cry."

Fresh tears gathered and fell at the first sentence -broken as it was- his son uttered. Chi-chi would've been angry if she'd known what she had just missed. She'd practically beat it into his head that this would be a happy moment. His sons first words and steps, first sentence and first solved mathematical equation were supposed to be happy moments, even if he wasnt too sure about the last one. Even though his heart ached and his head throbbed and pulsed with confusion and pain, he laughed at his child. The only thing he had left.

"Yes Gohan, dada cry," he nudged the child upwards and pressed their cheeks together, sighing softly at the smooth warmth radiating from his son. "Dada sorry, okay?"

He barely felt the little hand swatting at his cheek after that; though it soon became troubling once it seemed Gohan's intent was to claw out an eye, until he focused on it. He realized they were in fact clumsy, uncoordinated attempts to wipe his tear-stained face. Pulling him away, Goku eyed his son in surprise as he held him at arms length. He was greeted with red cheeks, a deep frown, and raised fists. The little kid looked like he was about to blow a fuse, or possibly pop a blood vessel.

"DADA NO CRY!"

Startled, Goku almost dropped the toddler. Not because of the shout, nor the determination instilled in his tone, but instead from the brief ki wave that came from him. His gi was ripped and scorched at his front and his arms were a little worse for wear. Of course, there was a tiny little flame settled upon one of his spikes as well which he promptly put out between two fingers, tucking his sobbing child underneath his arm as he left the room. The little thing kept up his mantra of "dada no cry."

Briefly, he wondered if Chi-Chi had been talking to Gohan instead when he made that promise earlier. The thought slipped away though as his stomach roared, followed by a tinier, but no less ferocious, rumble.

Goku would feed himself and his child and then...and then he'd see what he was going to do.

Son Goku and Son Gohan were on their own now.

[1]I dont think they can sense ki since they needed the Dragon Radar to find Gohan, but I figured he would be able to feel something if it was acting strange, especially since they're close.

Ahh yes. The prologue.

To explain Gokus breakdown and confusion at the death of his wife in case it seems excessively OOC:

Besides his Granpa Gohan, I dont believe Goku has PERMANENTLY lost anyone he cared for, at least not at this point in time. I didnt read or watch a lot of the original Dragon Ball so I could be terribly wrong. Shenron cant revive those who die of natural causes, therefore he cannot revive Chi-Chi who died because she couldnt handle what Gohan's alien birth did to her body. Senzu beans were unable to help because dont cure illnesses/diseases and they waited years to use them because Chi-Chi hadnt informed him there was anything wrong until everything had healed on its own. I believe Goku never understood marriage and saw Chi-Chi as a close friend or mother who pampered and took care of him more than anything, although I do believe he realized how close and serious two people have to be in order to have a child and stay together to raise it.

Goku just lost someone he was fairly dependent on. He relied on her to cook and clean for him and generally provide for him. Some of you are probably like 'uhh, he survived years without Chi-Chi and years on his own on when Gohan Sr. died. He's fine.' Well, in this story he's kind of domesticated. He doesnt want to have to do those things now that he's had a taste of the "good life". Not that he's become spoiled or wants expensive things. He'll go back to fish and dino steaks with little complaint, besides this brief breakdown. He just cant cook or cook anything with taste or anything special like Chi-Chi could. He cant wash his own clothes and he can barely remember to wash himself without being told to. And, I havent decided completely on this yet, but Goku is a little mentally disabled from his incident as a baby and getting beat up side the head with a frying pan often.

Plus, now he has to take care of a 2-year-old and since his wife handled most of that, he's clueless.. I think I'd have an emotional breakdown too.