Five Impossible Missions Ianto Jones Participated In (And One He Accepted)
Author: Milady Dragon
Disclaimer: I don't own anything here. Darn it.
Author's Note: This is just something that's been on my mind for a bit, and I finally wrote it up. This is in the same universe as my old story, "The Party", and in fact that story takes place between numbers One and Two in this. It is a crossover with the TV series, Mission: Impossible, not the movies, and is a fix-it for some events in the TW/DW universe.
Hope you like it!
One
Ianto Jones' very first mission with his new team was pretty straightforward: playing the drug addicted son to Nicholas' industrialist father. The idea had been to give the mark some 'leverage' over Nicholas, and Ianto pulled it off perfectly.
He really hated the stuff though that he had to take in order to fake withdrawal. Ianto would never forget how he'd felt in the throes of a chemically-induced dementia.
The mission had gone without a hitch, for which Ianto was extremely grateful. As the newest member of Nicholas' Impossible Missions team he'd been unbelievably nervous about going into his first mission, but it had turned out well. They'd managed to get the mark to act exactly the way they'd wanted, and a dangerous new technology had been destroyed.
As the team drove away from the scene of mayhem they'd left behind, Nicholas clapped him on the shoulder. "Well done, Ianto," he said, smiling. "I knew you'd be an asset to the team."
Those words had meant the world to Ianto; after all, on his previous team there'd been a distinct lack of positive reinforcement.
Well, Jack had never failed to tell him he'd done a good job, usually with some sort of sexual favour, but with Jack gone…no, Ianto wasn't going to think about his ex-lover.
Jack had chosen the Doctor over his team…over Ianto. The best thing he'd been able to do was to start over again.
And this team appreciated his efforts.
Two
Ianto mused that, while it had been hard dodging UNIT and SHIELD and UNCLE and every other alphabet soup agency in between, this mission wasn't really all that bad.
That was, of course, before he'd found himself in the rat-trap hotel outside Paris.
No, that was giving rat-trap hotels a bad name.
He was actually glad when the thugs their mark had hired burst into the room, beat him up, and then threw him into the miniscule boot of their car.
Even though he was half-gagged by exhaust fumes and his shoulders cramped due to the handcuffs that kept his arms twisted behind his back, the boot was far preferable than that bloody hotel room.
The mission was fairly straightforward: Ianto was ex-Torchwood, on the run with a piece of impressive alien technology that Nicholas said would grab the attention of their mark, who collected alien weapons the same way some people collected stamps. Personally, Ianto thought the cover was just a bit too close to home, but it got worse when it came down to meeting his former team once more in order to cement his cover.
Of course, Jack had known all about Ianto's new team, having stumbled into the middle of a previous mission. The others, though…well, Ianto had left them a letter, more out of self-preservation and a concern about Owen's penchant to use Retcon. Ianto liked his memories, thank you very much, and wasn't about to lose them.
Owen had cursed and shouted recriminations. Gwen had gotten up in Jack's face and yelled at him for hiding things from them…yet again. Toshiko had just looked at Ianto as if he'd drowned a bagful of puppies.
It had been horrible, and Ianto wasn't certain that there yet might be Retcon in his future if he got close to Owen again.
However, his cover was perfect, and that was what was important.
Everything went well, too, up until their mark decided that kidnapping the Director of the Torchwood Institute had been a really good idea, and to ask Ianto to shoot him to prove he was on their side.
Ianto knew that Jack was immortal, but the very idea of killing him was abhorrent to the Welshman. And, to Jack's credit, he played the role of betrayed boss quite well. In many ways it reminded Ianto of Jack's reaction to discovering Lisa in the sub-basement of the Hub.
He could think of that now without much pain.
And so, Jack ended up goading Ianto into putting a bullet into his brain. Ianto wasn't sure how to think about that, either, because he hadn't really wanted to although he hadn't had much choice.
However, things went downhill after they'd hauled Jack's 'body' away, and somewhere along the line there was a rather nasty shoot-out when all Ianto had had to do was get their piece of tech – borrowed from Torchwood – into the vault where their mark kept all his collection. The hidden tracker on the device would have led the team to the hidden stash.
As he crouched behind a rather bullet-ridden Audi parked in the driveway of the palatial estate their mark owned, with a very much alive Jack laying down covering fire, Ianto wondered if this mission could go down the crapper any farther than it already had.
"So," Jack said over the sound of automatic fire hitting the battered body of their cover, "after this is all over, how you…me…dinner and a movie?"
Ianto checked the clip in his gun; five bullets left. "Are you asking me out on a date?" he asked incredulously.
"Interested?" Jack cracked open the chamber of his ever-present Webley and reloaded.
Another round of automatic fire sent safety glass tinkling down around Ianto's head, and he protected his face as best he could. "As long as there aren't any shoot-outs involved. Some fetishes should be kept to yourself."
Jack gave him a shit-eating grin, even as the cavalry arrived in the form of Nicholas and the team, plus Torchwood.
Clean-up took hours, and Ianto was exhausted afterward, however when Jack approached he was able to give his ex-lover a smile.
Jack got up into Ianto's personal space. "So," he purred, "was that a yes?"
Ianto gave him his best 'come hither' look. "Yes. Yes."
The kiss was just as fantastic as Ianto remembered.
Three
Jack was staying with Ianto in New York for the week when the Daleks stole the Earth.
His flat – well, apartment, as the Americans called it – quickly became a rallying point between Torchwood, UNIT, and the IMF, and Jack coordinated it all like a symphony conductor. They had front row seats when the Valiant went down over the ocean, surrounded by Daleks.
Ianto pretended he didn't hear Jack's quiet, "Good riddance," when it finally sank out of sight. But then, Jack had explained what had happened to him during the time he'd been with the Doctor, so Ianto couldn't blame him. He'd have blown up the Valiant himself if he could have gotten away with it, just to spare his lover any more pain.
After everything was said and done, and everyone was safe on the Doctor's TARDIS, Ianto – yes, he'd gone with Jack to find the Time Lord, and he would have even if Nicholas hadn't asked him to – found himself surrounded by very curious Companions and the Doctor's doppelganger, all wondering just who he was.
"This is Ianto Jones," Jack said proudly, his arm looped around Ianto's waist, "and he is most definitely my better half."
Ianto would have blushed if he hadn't learned very early on to keep that reflex under some form of control.
"Jack mentioned you to me," Martha Jones replied, giving Ianto an assessing look. "He said you went to work for another agency, but wouldn't give me any details."
Ianto knew how much Jack trusted Martha, so for him not to explain about the IMF filled him with pride. "I'm actually a spy," he answered, deciding to go for broke. After all, if he couldn't trust the Doctor and his companions, who could he trust?
"Get out," Mickey Smith scoffed.
"I'm not kidding." Ianto went on to explain about the Impossible Missions Force, although judging from the human-Doctor's face he guessed that this wasn't new information to him.
"Jack left the TARDIS because of you," the Doctor double accused. "And you couldn't wait for him?"
The doppelganger was angry, but Ianto had seen him in action and guessed that was his natural state. Besides, anyone who was willing to commit an act of genocide in order to stop the Daleks had to have a really big fury going on.
"I didn't know if he was coming back, or else I would have waited. As it was, I'm doing good work, and it's not just for Cardiff or Great Britain…it's for the whole world."
"Besides," Jack said, tugging Ianto closer, "we're together now. Sure, it's only for a week at a time, but it's something, and it's special."
Ianto didn't bother to hide his blush that time. "If I can stay away from Owen and the Retcon, that is."
"He doesn't mean anything by it, really."
"Tell me that after the two times I've visited the Hub and he's tried to spike my coffee." Owen had accepted that Ianto would be allowed to keep his memories, but he still tried to get one over on him. Ianto chalked it up to spy-envy.
He was asked quite a few more questions before the TARDIS landed in London, letting out the first of the Companions getting off on Earth. Sarah Jane Smith left first, and Ianto had made a mental note to keep an eye on her son, thinking that Nicholas might want to approach him if he seemed a right fit for the IMF.
After Sarah Jane had left, it was Jack and Ianto's turn, and Martha and Mickey followed them out. As Jack passed the Doctor, the Time Lord snagged his wrist. "Can't have this working," he said, holding up Jack's Vortex Manipulator and taking aim with his sonic screwdriver.
Ianto tugged Jack's wrist out of the Doctor's grasp. "Oh no. I'm not letting you do a thing to Jack's wrist strap. He needs to get us back to New York, and I left without my passport." To be honest, he hadn't, but he really hated the Doctor's condescension toward his lover and wasn't about to put up with it.
The Doctor looked as if he wanted to argue, but his doppelganger squeezing by the traffic jam at the door stopped anything he was about to say. "Where are you going?"
"I'm you, so I know what you have planned for me," the double answered, "and I think I deserve to make my own decisions about my fate. So, I'm leaving."
The Doctor looked gobsmacked. "What will you do?"
A wide grin met the question. "Why, I think I'm going to be a spy."
Ianto couldn't help but laugh. "You'd be welcome. Your knowledge and abilities would be welcome in the IMF." He wasn't certain what he'd said that had convinced the man to join them, but he knew Nicholas would be pleased to have someone with a Time Lord's brain around.
"You can't be serious!" the Doctor exclaimed.
"I'm very serious. I'm not about to let you dictate the terms of my existence, and Mr. Jones impressed me. So I'm leaving to find my own way."
With that, he was gone, striding along the walkway and leaving them behind. "Well, are you lot coming?" he called back over his shoulder.
Jack laughed, and Ianto took his hand, tugging him along after the departing doppelganger. Mickey caught up, as did Martha, and Ianto couldn't help but enjoy the spluttering noises the Doctor was making as they walked away.
Two days later, Ianto and Nicholas were standing outside a non-descript home in Chiswick.
Nicholas knocked on the door. Within seconds, an elderly man answered. "Whatever you're selling, we're not interested."
Nicholas gave the man one of his best smiles. "Actually, Mr. Mott, we're here to see your granddaughter…"
Four
If Ianto was honest with himself, this was the sort of mission he really enjoyed: ones where they had to convince their mark that whatever they'd been planning had just blown up in their faces.
Take, for example, their current mission. Their mark was a scientist that had somehow gotten a hold of an alien virus, and was looking to sell it to the highest bidder. Ianto was portraying the representative of someone – played by Nicholas – who was extremely interested in what she was selling. They were meeting at a fancy restaurant in New York to discuss terms. However, the wine was spiked with an additive that would mimic the exact same symptoms of the pathogen, and it would kick in during their dinner 'date'.
Of course they couldn't have something like that occur in a real restaurant, so the one they were currently in had been practically built from the floor up in the two days they'd had to prepare. Nicholas had put his contacts on it, and when Ianto had arrived that morning for the prep he'd been impressed. There was even a working kitchen, which had managed to serve him a fettuccini that was possibly the best thing he'd ever put into his mouth.
Well, the best food item…no, this wasn't the time to think about Jack.
Nicholas also had several amateur repertory companies in different countries on speed dial it seemed, because the place was filled with strangers who hadn't come in off the street. In fact, Gareth was outside on crowd control, keeping any innocent bystanders from coming inside. Ianto believed the cover story was that this was a private party, but he'd need to check with either Gareth or Nicholas to confirm that.
Everything went pretty much according to plan, except the mark freaked out when she noticed the itchy lesions on her arm and Ianto tried to stop her from doing a runner…and she tripped and fell, taking a header into the edge of a table and knocking herself out.
"Oh, this is just lovely," Nicholas sighed, as the team stood around their unconscious mark.
"Well," Ianto said, "we could always make her think the entire restaurant was infected."
That got him a round of looks, and Casey hugged him. "Have I told you lately that you're brilliant?"
"Let's not get into congratulations until we get things set up," Nicholas suggested, although he obviously had liked the idea.
It worked like a charm, although Ianto had never applied make-up so fast in his entire career. The extras Nicholas had brought in were pleased to be extending their time with the team, and Shannon kept rolling her eyes at the obvious fangirling and fanboying going on among the members of the repertory company.
The team retrieved the pathogen, and the mark got what she deserved from her superiors for even trying to sell the biological agent behind their backs.
As they left the mess for the clean-up team, Nicholas clapped Ianto on the shoulder. "Good thinking on your feet."
Ianto nodded, feeling slightly embarrassed by the attention. "I was the one who should have kept the mark's attention on me, instead of letting her panic."
"Still, it worked and that's all that matters."
The team took him out for drinks once the reports were done.
Five
It was sheer luck that Ianto had already been undercover in the Home Office when the children began chanting.
There had been some suspicion that there were strange goings' on within the Home Office, and Ianto had gone in as a temp worker in John Frobisher's office. He'd actually spoken with the man once, while he'd still been in Torchwood, and couldn't help but thinking he was just another stereotypical, obsequious civil servant.
Face-to-face didn't change that impression.
He was also less than impressed with security, when Frobisher's PA, Bridget Spears, had just handed over her security login and password to the computer, giving Ianto the open door into every computer system in the building, thanks to a handy device that was disguised as the over-the-shoulder bag he always carried with him. The USB cable was actually the bag's zipper, and it took a second to plug it into the tower, which was conveniently placed under Ianto's desk. All he did was pretend to drop his pen.
Things went to hell pretty quickly.
Ianto found himself sitting on top of an alien invasion, and they were trying to cut Torchwood out of the loop by attempting to kill Jack.
He also found that someone had believed they'd hacked into the mainframe. Ianto had to stifle his laughter when he came across the report that credited Jack's immortality to the Torchwood Hub and the Cardiff Rift.
Of course he had to warn his former team that someone was going to try and blow it up, with Jack inside.
It had been beyond the mission brief to do so, but Ianto couldn't let it happen. He'd managed to report in to Nicholas while on a bathroom break, and Nicholas had given him the approval to do so. His boss also said that alien invasions were a bit beyond their remit, and it was best to get the professionals on it.
And so, Ianto became Torchwood's source of information as well as the IMF's.
Getting things to Toshiko proved to be pretty simple. Whoever thought they'd actually hacked the Torchwood mainframe was a bit of an idiot, and it took just a simple keystroke to warn Toshiko that someone, somehow, had run into one of the many pockets of useless information she'd set up, which was where they'd gotten that crap about Jack's immortality from.
He knew the moment that she'd back-hacked into the Home Office system…the IM she sent him under the name "no1hacker" wasn't at all subtle.
The next day, the team managed to get both Shannon and Gareth into Thames House, where the Prime Minister had apparently approved the building of an immense hermetically sealed tank on the thirteenth floor. Gareth was actually on the construction team, and Ianto got a glimpse of him when he'd gone up with Frobisher and Spears, because apparently giving him the upper level security codes was a show of trust which meant he could now sit in on Gold Command meetings, even though he'd only been on the job a single day.
Once the alien known as the 456 showed up and demanded ten percent of the Earth's children, and Ianto had reported in, Nicholas had gone to the Secretary…who then went to the UN Security Council.
That was when Her Majesty showed up at Thames House, accompanied by Brigadier General Sir Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart and Torchwood Director Jack Harkness, who wasn't blown up at all, and who now had several of the Hub cells occupied by the MI-5 team who had attempted to do the actual blowing up.
Ianto really thought the sight of those three, standing in front of that glowing blue tank, was just about the most amazing thing he'd seen. It was very impressive and oh-so bad arse.
"You have submitted in the past," the 456 said through the enormous speakers set up in the room.
"Without Our consent," Her Majesty answered. "We do not bow to the demands of terrorists."
"You have submitted in the past," the 456 said once more, as if repeating it made it true.
"Not this time," the Brigadier snapped. "You will leave our world at once."
"And if you don't," Jack added, "then we'll have to make you."
It was at that point that the 456 decided an example needed to be sent, using all of the innocent lives in Thames House.
There would have been lives lost if not for two things.
One: the building had been evacuated by the UNIT troops the Brigadier had brought with him.
And two: if the delivery system of their airborne pathogen hadn't been sabotaged by Gareth when he'd discovered it during construction.
"Now if you're quite finished posturing," the Brigadier said, "you might want to leave now."
"We've found your spaceship in orbit," Jack replied, looking extremely smug, "and right now warheads from every nuclear-powered nation on the planet are pointed in its general direction. I'd suggest you fuck off and never come back."
"What Captain Harkness said so eloquently," Her Majesty ordered.
There wasn't much more after that.
Ianto wanted to go over and speak with Jack – well, to actually kiss him – but he didn't dare break his cover. Instead, he made his way out of the building in all the confusion, and left them to it.
The uproar didn't die down for days.
There was even talk about sanctions against Great Britain for their part in things, but the Queen simply had the Prime Minister and his cabinet arrested for treason, as well as everyone complicit in the Home Office, and that seemed to calm things down with the United Nations.
Ianto laid low in his hotel room for three days, after which he decided it was time to follow his team back to the States. He packed everything up and made his way out to the taxi stand, thinking to take one to Heathrow and to get the hell out of there.
He was surprised to see Jack standing across the street.
Ianto almost didn't recognise him. Jack was dressed casually, with no sign of his signature greatcoat. A large duffle bag was settled onto his back, looped over one shoulder, and he smiled as Ianto approached.
"I thought," Jack said, when Ianto had asked him what he was doing there, "it was about time I officially retire. And I was hoping that someone in New York might put me up at his flat."
Ianto wasn't certain what he was feeling, but it was pretty nice. "And Torchwood?"
"I handed the keys over to Toshiko. I think she'd make a lovely Director. Besides, the people we were supposed to be protecting tried to destroy us. I don't think I can work for them anymore."
"Are you sure about this?"
Jack favoured him with a sweet smile. "I've never been more sure of anything in…well, a long time."
Ianto laughed. He looped his arm around Jack's and led him toward the nearest taxi. "Then I think our flight is waiting for us."
And One
The leather portfolio was heavy in his hands, and Ianto took it with him over to his sofa, his heart pounding quite hard with excitement and not a little fear.
He ran his thumb over the embossed letters IMF on the front of the portfolio.
Ianto sat down on his sofa, the portfolio on his lap. He used his thumb and unsnapped the closure, flipping the front cover open. He couldn't help but smile at the contents.
Nicholas had said it had been about time. That Ianto had deserved this, and that while he was sorry to see his point man moving on, it was simply the next logical step in Ianto's growing into being an exemplary IMF agent and team leader. Ianto didn't believe he was ready to have his own team, but even the Secretary had agreed, citing his performances during the Dalek invasion and the 456 incident. They needed a team that could be completely dedicated to alien creatures and tech, and Ianto had the experience to head such a team.
And so, there he was, in his apartment in New York, ready to choose the members of his new team.
The first two photographs he set aside. They were competent agents, but Ianto didn't think they would fit. The third, however, made him smile even wider, and he placed it on his coffee table in pride of place.
Donna Noble.
Ianto had explained to Nicholas what he'd discovered about Donna, and that she'd had her memories of her time with the Doctor erased in order to save her life. However, he'd been impressed with her actions during the time the Earth had been stolen, and Nicholas had agreed that, even if she'd lost everything about traveling with the Doctor, the person she'd been was still within her somewhere, and from the reports he'd heard it had only taken a little bit of training to make her an excellent junior agent.
He sorted through more photographs, and then chose another from the portfolio.
Mickey Smith.
Mickey was an easy choice. The man had been a short-term companion, and had also helped run a resistance movement against the Cybermen in another dimension. He had the tech know-how and he knew his way around weapons, plus he wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty.
The one below Mickey's is another excellent choice.
John Smith.
There had been talk of using the human Doctor as some sort of specialist and consultant, but that hadn't gone over well. The man calling himself John Smith had been serious about becoming a spy, and Ianto felt that he'd be an excellent one. He might have been angry at the Doctor himself at one time for what he'd put Jack through, but he was willing to let bygones be bygones for the sake of the planet.
Ianto sorted through the rest of the photographs, coming to the bottom of the pile. There, hiding as if he were shy, was the last member of his team.
Jack Harkness.
They'd discussed it, whether Jack could take orders from Ianto, and his lover had said he was tired of telling people what to do. Ianto knew he'd have to have Jack on his team; with his off-world experience and his conman past, he had the makings of a superb IMF agent. There was also his immortality to consider, but Ianto was going to pretend it didn't exist. He wouldn't send Jack in as cannon fodder for any reason. Jack would be treated just like everyone else.
Ianto sighed, the smile on his face going soft, his fingers tracing the contours of Jack's face. Then, shaking his head, he set the photo down next to John's. His team made a perfect arc on the coffee table top.
The team was set.
They would be ready for their first mission.