Once upon a time there was a sprightly young damsel named Jacquelyn who lived with her widowed mother and all their dogs, cats, cattle, chickens, and various other animals on a 200-acre dairy farm. These were difficult times for them, with many bills past due. Therefore, after painful deliberation they decided to raise some badly needed cash by having Jacki take one of the cows to market. She took the docile animal by the halter, but had not gone very far before she heard a long, appreciative wolf whistle.
"Hey, good looking!" said The Wolf, admiring her sightly long, legs, perfectly proportioned, strong and athletic from all the farm work she did.
"Hey, Wolfy!" she greeted him in return, stopping suddenly to receive his embrace, so that the cow used the opportunity to munch on some nearby grass.
"Where are you heading, baby?" he asked.
"I'm taking Buttercup to the market," she explained, sadly. "She's always been my favorite, so I hope I find someone who will treat her nice."
"I'll buy her from you," offered The Wolf, looking appraisingly at the contented bovine. "I'll treat you nice, Buttercup, and get my fill from you of tender, juicy steaks!"
"Don't you dare!" gasped Jacki in horror, protectively putting her arms around Buttercup's neck, who mooed plaintively in reply.
"Relax, baby, I was just fooling with you," said The Wolf. "You know I wouldn't really do that to her. But I was serious about buying her."
"Really?"
"Really," affirmed The Wolf, pulling out his wallet, which, he discovered to his shock, was empty. "Hmm, I'll tell you what, why don't we barter, instead?"
"Now, Wolfy, Mother was insistent that we needed cash," replied Jacki cautiously.
"No, but look, baby, I've got five magic beans here!" announced The Wolf, holding them in his furry paw.
"I'm not trading Buttercup for five stupid beans!" retorted Jacki indignantly.
"They're not stupid beans, they're magic beans," corrected The Wolf in the sort of injured tone only the guilty can muster; "and it's very generous of me to let you have them like this. If you plant them, then, overnight they'll grow up to the sky!"
"Forget it," snapped Jacki, taking up the halter again. "Come along, Buttercup," she ordered; "let's get going to the market, and see if we can't meet some sensible folks!"
"Oh, c'mon baby, don't be like that," pleaded The Wolf, and then, seeing the determination in Jacki's eyes, leaned over to give her a good-bye kiss, putting all his energy into that effort.
"Phew!" exclaimed Jacki when they finally broke contact. She glanced around in a bit of a daze, trying to regain her bearings. "Umm… what were we doing again?"
"You were about to trade me Buttercup for these beans," The Wolf informed her.
"Was I?" asked Jacki, her head still in the clouds. "Well, here you are then." She handed The Wolf the halter, who, in turn, handed over the five beans.
"Thanks, baby," he told her. "You won't regret this!"
But of course, Jacki did regret it, once euphoria wore off back home again. Her mother was furious, and angrily tossed the beans out the window into the vegetable garden. Jacki passed an uncomfortable night tossing and turning in her small bedroom, all the while wondering how she was going to get Buttercup back from The Wolf. She eventually fell asleep, and the next morning awoke to a remarkable sight.
The beans had grown into a giant beanstalk all the way up to the sky, just as The Wolf had said!
Jacki jumped out of bed, determined to climb this new wonder, although first (in order to have plenty of energy) she prepared herself a light breakfast consisting of a couple eggs over easy, crispy golden hash browns, thin strips of crunchy bacon, and slices of wheat toast with grape jelly, all washed down with glasses of orange juice and skim milk. She then took a quick shower and hurriedly dressed herself (for ease of movement) in a yellow halter top and sandy-colored twill shorts. She did not put on shoes or socks, feeling she could manage the climb better in her bare feet. She left a short note to her mother on the refrigerator, and then, returning to her bedroom, hopped out the window onto the beanstalk, eagerly looking forward to the adventure she felt sure awaited above.
Up, up, up she climbed, until at last she reached the sky, where she discovered to her delight a pastoral land of emerald-green meadows sliced by clear-blue brooks with a narrow path that snaked off into the distant mists like a long, yellow ribbon. She was quite used to going about shoeless in the summertime, so she followed this path without the slightest hesitation, until at last she came to an enormous castle.
The old, warped, weather-beaten, wooden door at the entrance was so large she could hardly reach the handle, much less the enormous brass doorknocker that seemed to coldly frown down on her, but she found she could squeeze between one of the large cracks that ran up from the bottom, and then she stared in wonderment inside.
"There's Mel; I've always wondered where he lived," she whispered, so as not to awaken the sleeping giant. He sat at a small (for a giant) table. Apparently he had been mending his clothing, for he had an old shirt and a needle and thread before him, although he was now bent over, resting his head on the table, as he took his early-morning nap.
Jacki knew it was dangerous to be an uninvited guest in the Mel's house like this, but her spirit of adventure was much too strong for her to leave without having a look around, so she climbed up some nearby shelves, and looked admiringly at the various knickknacks and gimcracks scattered about.
"He has some pretty things here," she thought, gazing longingly at, what was, to the giant, a miniature imitation of a golden harp, although it was as large as the handheld version of that musical instrument to Jacki. "Although it wouldn't hurt if he would clean here once in a while," she added, for her walking along the shelves had stirred up a small cloud of dust, very nearly causing her to sneeze.
"And here's that bag of double-eagle twenty-dollar gold coins Mel won from Daddy way back in that game of Texas Hold 'Em" she observed, drawing open the strings to look inside. "I was only a little girl then, but I remember it was after that our financial trouble started.
"And look here!" She spotted the enormous playing cards from that fateful game, for her father had been a very large man, for a human, and had had no trouble holding the oversized cards. "And, and, and they're marked, too!" she suddenly exclaimed, studying the backs intently. "No wonder Mel won all that money from us! Why, he's nothing but a crook!"
She would have been better advised to keep her thoughts to herself, though. "Eh, what's that?" asked Mel, rousing himself, and staring sleepily around. "Fee, fie, foe, furl, I smell the scent of a country girl! Be she alive, or be she dead, I'll bind her tight with my strong thread!"
"Uh-oh," thought Jacki in alarm, quickly hiding herself behind a golden duck statuette, thinking there was something decidedly rather creepy about that "be she alive or dead" part. Mel probably would have never found her there, except for all the dust; although Jacki tried to hold her nose the dust made its itching grow worse and worse until she suddenly gave a loud sneeze.
"Aha!" Mel boomed, striding over, and moving the duck to expose Jacki, who smiled in embarrassment up at him.
"Hi, Mel," she greeted cheerily, as if her being there was a perfectly natural thing.
"What do we have here?" he bellowed, gently picking her up. "Well, if it isn't little Jacki, all grown up now!" He placed her on his table, and then, using a long strand of red thread, which was thin to him but thick as ropes to Jacki, wrapped it around and around her, in several diagonals and loops, starting from her ankles up to her shoulders, finishing with a Gordian knot behind her back.
"You can't do this to me!" Jacki told him defiantly as she struggled wildly to free herself.
"What do you mean, I can't do that to you? I just did!" announced Mel in a more normal tone of voice, although even that sounded like thunderclaps to Jacki.
Jacki opened her mouth for a sassy retort, so Mel seized the opportunity to place a small scrap of cloth from his sewing into her mouth for packing, and then tied another around her mouth, cleave-gagging her.
"Mpfff!" exclaimed Jacki, vigorously shaking her head in a futile effort to dislodge her gag, but the giant, for all his big, clumsy fingers, had managed to tie an effective knot on the slender bit of material.
Mel lifted Jacki again, who squirmed in his grasp. He placed her in a sitting position next to the harp, and then, (without pulling it tight, or causing her any pain whatsoever), drew her long, light ash brown hair into two strands, and knotted them together around the frame of the harp. "I see you were admiring my treasures! Now you can join them!"
"Mpfff!" protested Jacki, not appreciating him putting her on the shelf like that. And how long was he planning to keep her tied here? Jacki was sure she could handle it for a short time, but she realized that, after a while, she would start feeling decidedly uncomfortable just sitting here with these ropes, or rather, this thread, binding her. And with all that packing in her mouth she was going to get thirsty, which reminded her about those glasses of milk and orange juice she had drunk for breakfast, which she knew would make themselves felt eventually.
"Mpfff!" she called out, trying to get Mel's attention, to let him know she'd had quite enough already, but the giant, tired of his sewing, was hunched over his table again, now taking his late-morning nap.
Well, she would just have to find some way to escape, that was all. She tried shifting about, but with her hair tied to the harp, she carefully maintained her sitting position. She slid her feet towards herself so her delightfully rounded knees rose off the shelf, and curled and uncurled her exquisite toes, with their perfectly polished nails, as she considered her position. The thread felt very secure against her, but she tried just the same, trying to find some way to slip an arm or a leg loose. However, no matter how she squirmed, jerked, or twisted the thread kept her firmly bound.
"Mpfff!" Jacki banged her sylphlike feet against the shelf in frustration. This was so unfair! Why couldn't she somehow squirm her way free? She was an active young woman, always wanting to do be doing something, and not sitting around like this! How could she possibly get out of here? It wasn't as if someone was going to show up all of a sudden to untie her!
"Hey, baby!" called out The Wolf in loud whisper, looking anxiously over at Mel, who stirred uneasily in his sleep. He easily swung his way up to Jacki's shelf, and flicked an imaginary speck of lint off his jacket. "Yeah, no worries, baby, I'm here to rescue you!"
"Mpfff," answered Jacki eagerly, before she remembered she was upset with him about Buttercup, so she pointedly turned her head off to the side. She was more than happy to wait for someone else, anyone else!, to come along to rescue her!
"Oh, c'mon baby, don't be all like that," pleaded The Wolf, giving her feet a quick tickle to gain her attention.
"Mpfff!" exploded Jacki, giving him a solid kick in the chin in return.
The Wolf reached around her face to untie her gag. "You've got things all wrong, baby! You see, what happened is…"
"What happened is that you cheated me out of Buttercup," retorted Jacki angrily, after she had spluttered out the packing, "and you know how much she means to me, too!"
"Would you please keep quiet?" pleaded The Wolf, looking in alarm at Mel, who seemed about to awaken any second. The Wolf raised a paw to untie Jacki's hair, which, being so silky-soft, unknotted itself with just a gentle brush. It would have come undone had Jacki tugged on it at all, so The Wolf realized, although he decided it might be better not to mention that to her.
"I'll make all the noise I like!" replied Jacki, as The Wolf stared in perplexity at the knot on her back, and then, taking the straightforward route, bit through the thread with his sharp canines, causing it to fall loose from Jacki as she quickly stood up to face her unwelcome rescuer, her arms folded in front of her.
"Hey, look, baby; there are all kinds of goodies here we can take with us!" announced The Wolf, momentarily distracted by the sight of all the wealth surrounding them. He gathered up the harp and duck statuette. "C'mon, grab something, and let's leg it out of here before Paul Bunyan wakes up!"
"No, Wolfy, we can't take those; that would be stealing," Jacki reprimanded him. "And speaking of stealing, what was the big idea of taking Buttercup from me like that?"
"Chill, baby," replied The Wolf, sighing in regret that his hands were full. "If you'd just give me two seconds to explain, what happened is, when you told me you were selling Buttercup I knew you'd regret it afterwards, so I thought I'd take her out to my country place, keep her overnight, and bring her back the next day…""Oh, Wolfy!"
"…which is what I did," he continued. "But when I brought her back, I saw that enormous beanstalk, but I didn't see you, so I figured you must have climbed up, so I told your Mom I'd follow you, just to make sure you were okay!"
"Oh, Wolfy!" repeated Jacki, drawing him in, and giving him a thank-you kiss, putting all her energy into that effort.
"Phew!" exclaimed The Wolf when they finally broke contact. He glanced around in a bit of a daze, trying to regain his bearings. "Umm… what were we doing again?"
"We were about to leave," Jacki replied, relieving him of the harp and duck statuette, and returning them to their places; "without taking anything that doesn't belong to us!"
"Oh, right," agreed The Wolf regretfully.
"However, I will take these gold coins," decided Jacki. "After all, Mel stole them from us, so it's only fair that I take it back. Here," she added, as she hefted the heavy bag, and passed it over to The Wolf; "you can carry it for me."
The happy pair now climbed down the shelves, scampered across the stone floor, and squeezed out the crack in the door. They hurried along the narrow, yellow trail before arriving back at the beanstalk.
And just in time, too! For, just as they arrived, they heard Mel's furious bellowing as he followed close behind! The Wolf tossed over the bag of coins over the edge, trusting gravity would get it to the bottom, and then, after helping Jacki onto the beanstalk, clambered on himself, and quickly shimmied down after her.
Jacki reached the bottom first, raced to the tool shed, and grabbed a large axe, which she handed to The Wolf, who swung several times at the beanstalk, all the while keeping one eye out for Mel who was rapidly climbing down. Chop, chop, chop, and finally the enormous plant toppled over, crashing to the ground.
"Gosh, are you okay?" asked Jacki, as she and The Wolf moved over to where Mel had fallen to the ground.
"Oh, my aching head." Mel was sitting up, rubbing an enormous hand against his broad brow, and glancing around in bewilderment. "What happened?" he pondered. "Where am I? For that matter, who am I? And who are you?"
"Amnesia!" pronounced The Wolf, giving Jacki a knowing look. "Well, that's certainly lucky for us!"
"You're name's Mel," Jacki told the giant, "and you had better never try to cheat honest people again!"
"And you live in a castle in the sky," added The Wolf helpfully. "Sorry you can't use the beanstalk to get back up there, but there must be some other way, since you had gone there before without it, you know."
"Oh, right," agreed Mel absently, wandering off. He eventually did regain his memory and returned home, where he lived quietly, never bothering Jacki or The Wolf again.
Jacki went inside the farmhouse, and showed her mother the bag she had brought back with her. She explained about the dishonest card game, which the giant had used to fraudulently to gain the coins. Being rare collectors' pieces and thus quite valuable, Jacki and her mother were able to sell them for a considerable sum, which allowed them to pay off all their debts.
And they lived happily ever after.