Outside the school bus, heavy snow flakes were falling; they fell from the gray clouds that never seemed to disappear and that had circled the small city for weeks. Some complained about it, sure, but Mathias found it calming and reassuring. He liked to think that the sky was just as sad as him, and that it cried tears of snow because of all the things that were wrong or unfair in this terrible world. Of course, he knew he would never get any real sympathy from the sky, neither from anyone walking under it. He was as one could say unlovable, at least in his own vision.

He had medium good grades and the teachers told him that he was going to get a good career if he wanted; he had a younger sister that adored him, a family that liked him and supported him even though they knew he was gay. He was constantly told by his relatives that he was a handsome and charming man, even if his hair was wilder than the ocean.

But none of that really mattered, did it? Because nothing of that seemed to break through the never ending wall of self-pity and hate he had built up with help from the people who saw him as a scum, a disease that didn't deserve to live and that should never be befriended.

Before high school and college, nothing was like it was now. Then he had a group of good friends that he treated like his dearest. They had been the best of friends!

But then things started to change a bit, as news spread out. As more and more people began to get hold of Mathias's secret about his sexuality and his friends got treated just like the bullies treated him, his friends slowly began to leave him. It wasn't easy for him, and he certainly didn't want them to go away, but as time passed, he realized that he didn't want his friends to suffer the same things as he did either. He didn't throw hatred over them as he understood; no one would want to be with someone who only brought pain, because wherever he went people who knew him would attack him and the people he was with, verbally and physically.

As high school and college came, his smile faded more and more, and the brutality of the bullies grew bigger and bigger.

Breathing out heavily, he was happy to know that in only five months the school year would be over, and he could stay away from the bullies that would hurt him or tease him as soon as they got the chance. At school they would go on forever, but they had never dared follow him home. He guessed they didn't find him amusing enough to show up at his door, but all in all, the bigger the distance was between him and the bullies, the better it was. And it would be nice to stay at home, not worrying of what his parents would think if they saw the bruises the bullies left on him , and of course, not to end up with getting a new bruise or blue mark every day.

Five months… and a God damn class trip to Norway. He sighted heavily again. Five months at school and a whole week with the people who hated him. He was damn sure that if they didn't kill him, he would.

Mathias turned around to check on his younger sister, who sat at the back of the bus with the ones he liked to call the bullies. He didn't exactly like the idea of her sitting with those douche bags, but it was her own choice.

"Hey, Mathias, how was school today!?" Oh no, trouble.

He turned around quickly and fixed his gaze at the road. As a boy named Henrikk, a black haired boy with a muscular building and angular features, came straight towards him. He was the one who was the most brutal of them all.

"yo Henrikk, leave him alone! You're not going to impress anyone"

Mathias felt a hint of relief when he heard his sitter's voice, but it faded quickly.

"Oh, but it's just an everyday routine!" Henrikk bragged. Mathias saw Henrikk turn against him.

"Isn't that right Mathias?"

Mathias bit his lip, trying to sit as still as possible, sometimes when he did that Henrikk would leave him alone. Today was not one of those days.

"Yeah right, trying to be quiet huh?" Henrikk grabbed the collar of Mathias's jacket and smiled. "I thought you liked to be a bit vocal, you know being all feminine and stuff."

Mathias looked away as Henrikk spoke, he didn't really find himself more feminine than other boys at his own age, quite the contrary actually, but if he said that now, he'd be sure of one thing, and that was that he'd get a punch to the face or the gut.

"Why don't you speak up, you homo, gotten something too big down your throat?!"

Mathias jolted at the aggressive manner.

"Yeah, tell him" a boy close to the front of the bus cheered.

Mathias felt himself cringe with angst as he heard more than the half of the bus laugh at the terrible joke. He knew damn sure what was about to happen when the crowd of people cheered on Henrikk to go on. He looked at Henrikk who clenched his fist.

"Well if you don't know how to be vocal now, maybe I should teach you"

Mathias closed his eyes and grabbed hold of the bus seat, and in the blink of an eye, he felt the searing pain after the punch to his nose. As he felt Henrikk let go he also felt his own blood drip down on his hand. He tried to cover it using his sleeves and watched as Henrikk left to sit back in the bus again. Usually he just mocked him verbally, no punching and shit like that and he hated it… but it was better than the times he hit him and decided to make more people follow the same suit. He felt awful every time Henrikk did that. It left him with a raging storm of feelings on the inside, rage and fear bubbling up together.

When he got off on the bus stop, his sister gave him a couple of napkins she had available due to a cold she had had earlier. They got the mail at the mailbox and walked up the short hill leading to their house in silence until they were almost home.

"You know, Mathias" Mathilda, his sister, started. "Don't you think you should tell mom or dad?"

Mathias nodded a no. it would be better if they didn't know. It was always better when no one knew.

Mathilda kicked a lump of ice and pouted, it wasn't fair that her brother should have it like this. She kicked the ice lump in front of Mathias, who kicked the lump back to her again.

"You know, they're just jealous at you because half of the schools girls are in love with you. "

Mathias breathed a faint laugh "In me? I don't think so, no one likes me"

"I like you…"

Mathias made a gloomy expression, and then looked at Mathilda. "It's not the same"

In the corner of his eye he could see the worried expression Mathilda made and he really appreciated the sympathy, but right now, all he wanted to do was to get home, burry himself in blanket's, fall asleep and never wake up. Everything felt like a routine, wake up, go to school, and get treated like a piece of shit, get beaten, cover up and go home. He was downright sick of the everyday routine.

He sighted heavily another time.

The worst thing was that nothing really seemed like it was going to make things change to the better either. Every day as the same and things were starting to get worse. He wasn't the same person he had used to be. His grades were dropping due to fear of saying things in classes. He dropped the gym classes due to the things some of the boys in his class had done to him in the locker rooms before. He never spoke and kept to himself. A thing that was no good for his grades nor reputation.

He wished for something to happened, something nice for a change. Just something that could change that shitty routine, or someone.

HIyaa guys! long time no see. I'm back again and I really hope that at least one of you guys can review!

this story will be a long one/longer than all my other stories at least and Please tell me if you find any spelling mistakes! Also, Henrikk isn't based on any of the Hetalia character's he's based on a douche that sits next to me in class.