So, I got this idea from a fabulous writer in the Law & Order SVU section, and just had to do it!

Basically, it's just 25 random words that I got from a Random Word Generator. The whole section, including the random word, has to be 75 words or less. It's harder than you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own errors and frivolous ramblings. Don't sue me for playing with the Butler and the Socialite!

Poster

"Niles, take down that horrid thing!"

"What? It's just a poster. I rather like it."

"Seriously. I can't lay here and let you ravage me while the bloody Queen of England is watching us. It's just awkward."

Officer

She's blushing, trying to explain to the police officer what we were doing in the shed at Home Depot, though judging by the officer's blush, he already knows what we were doing.

Expressway

I'm pushing the car faster, speeding down the expressway while she's screaming in the passenger's seat, clutching her distended belly and cursing at me in three languages. It's horrifying, but worth it. I just wish the hospital wasn't so far.

Novel

He's been working on that dang thing for as long as I've known him, and never once has he asked my opinion of it. So I went behind his back, and now his novel's being published. Hopefully he won't think this changes anything between us.

Forty

She says she's almost forty and I choke. If she's almost forty, then I'm almost the Pope. And you don't see me wearing any crazy hats, do you?

Dot

She's got a smudge of ink on her cheek, a dot of black showing how many scripts she's read through, but she still takes my breath away, dot and all.

Swim

It's days like this that I wish Maxwell would install a pool on the roof. I just want to submerge myself and never have to deal with 105 degree weather again. Seems Butler Boy agrees, seeing as how he's babbling about swimming. The heat always fries his brain.

Lunchtime

I should take a tray up to Miss Babcock, but it's just too much fun to make her walk down to the kitchen to fetch her lunch. She could use the exercise . . .

Solid

As I turn to leave the office, I run into something surprising solid. I'm shocked to see that I've hit the butler, and that my hand won't remove itself from his rock-hard chest. Oh my god.

Discrimination

"Mister Sheffield, it's not fair to make her eat in here. Dogs are used to eating in the kitchen."

Maxwell looks up at me for a moment and then smiles discreetly.

"Yes, I s'pose it's discrimination if I treat one dog better than the other."

He just called me a dog. And I don't even care because Miss Babcock walked in just in time to hear him call her a dog. Life is good.

Contour

I can't help but let my eyes follow the contour of her breasts as they slope into her shirt. I'm rewarded with a stinging slap.

"Next time you want to stare at my chest, Tidy Bowl, just ask."

Transcript

If I have to sit through one more lame attempt at a transcript, I may scream. At least the help is entertaining. That's the third time he's tripped over my foot.

Intelligence

"Niles, I swear you have the intelligence of a peanut."

"Gee Miss Babcock, is that the standard unit of measure you use in your life?"

"Can it, Lysol."

Sugar

She's staring at me with that look that tells me I'm going to need a lot of sugar to keep up tonight. Oh my god.

Portable

She's rambling on and on about some newfangled device, a portable cellular phone that goes anywhere and I can't stop myself from getting lost in the depth of her blue eyes. I realize she's stopped talking and is staring at me with an odd look on her face. Busted.

Guess

The smell of Chanel No. 5 gives her away instantly, but I play along as she covers my eyes.

"Guess who!"

"Grandmama? Is that you?"

She swats me, but when I turn and kiss her fiercely, she melts like butter.

"I've missed you, Witch. No more trips to Paris."

"I've missed you too. Now shut up and kiss me again, Butler Boy."

Lemon

I can't stand when he's been cleaning the toilets. That smell, that horrid smell, is in the air and every time I smell it, I can't help it. I call him names.

"Hey, Lemon Fresh! Go dust somewhere else. You reek."

But as he walks away, my heart cries for him to come back.

Continuation

I can tell this acting out is just a carry-over of yesterday's fight. He's angry about my Lemon Fresh comment. I don't really care. He stank.

Six

It's been five days since I've seen him, and I'm already going mad. I have six days left in London, but if I don't get back to Butler Boy soon, there won't be any of my sanity left.

Helping

She's helping Maxwell finish the set up for the big Backer's Ball, and as I set the tables, I'm struck by how beautiful she is. Almost as if she can read my thoughts, she looks up and we make eye contact. For a moment, it's just the two of us. But then she sticks her tongue out at me and breaks the moment. Witch.

Mean

"Why would you say something so hateful? Are you trying to hurt me?"

"Have you not met me, woman? It's my goal in life to be as mean as possible."

"Yeah, well this time you've gone too far! No one insults my Chester and gets away with it."

"Oh woman, I wasn't talking about Chester. You're the dog I was referencing."

Mailing

I've done it. I'm officially done. My letter of resignation is sent, going through the system at the very moment. Soon, Maxwell is going to regret his mailing that magazine to me. How rude, sending me a magazine about weight loss. What a jerk, that Maxwell. I'm C.C. Babcock, for God's sake. I don't need to lose weight. Do I?

I have to stop my letter. Oh my god, what have I done?

Scored

He's grinning and it makes me nervous.

"What's wrong with you, Lemon Fresh?" I snap, irritated at his happiness.

"I just scored two tickets to Trans Siberian Orchestra," he responds, still grinning. "Would you like to go with me?"

Woah, that was unexpected.

Sat

She sat there and watched me struggle to carry her suitcases to the guest room. I swear, I'm going to kill her.

Chapel

"I'm so sorry it wasn't in a chapel."

"Niles, if we'd done it in a chapel, it would have felt like sacrilege."

"True. But we're married, and that's all that matters."

"I love you, Lemon Fresh."

"I love you too, Trollop. And I told you not to call me Lemon Fresh."

"Fine, Tidy Bowl. Fine."

"That's better."

Well, whadja think? Should I do another set? It's kind of fun, actually . . . Review and let me know!