I

There is no proper way to start this story. There is no way I can start to narrate the events that have passed in my life. It's like a flux, a never ending rhythm of emotions and patterns of events that won't let themselves be caught in one frame. I guess that's why I never tried to even start telling anyone. I knew the last few times I tried – I attempted to tell a story about me- it was left open and no ending ever came. It wasn't my fault, it just never did.

Which is why I probably am so reluctant to start again now. But I have to. You see, it was on a Monday morning at work that a nice colleague walked up to me. She had her hair done in a ponytail and smiled at me with her white teeth. I thought her to be pretty, even then, though I knew she'd never think the same of me. She handed me some files which I took from her in a gallant kind of way and reshuffled in front of me until it formed a neat pile. Well, so far nothing interesting going on.

But then she parted her lips and whispered something odd which I'd not heard before. "The Mione is waiting." And I nearly dropped the files. But she had gone back to her own desk and I gave her a static frown. Katie only have a brief smile and then bent over her own paperwork. She looked great, but that must also have been her age. Almost anyone seemed to be younger than me at the office. I think they'd done it on purpose. Placing me between these young rascals and giving me one of the lowest jobs possible. Thank you Ministry for your nice sensitive feeling of humanity. Thank you for rubbing it all in.

I looked back at my papers and folded them without actually looking at them. Miss Katie Bell had made a point but whatever it was I was oblivious to it. Mione. I kept repeating the word inside my mind, munched it, ate it, drank it and tasted it. She could not possibly have meant Hermione? But no, Hermione was a person and not a thing. The Mione is waiting could not possibly mean that Hermione was waiting? And who would she wait for and where? Me? I looked up from the files in my hands and scanned the room, my eyes settling on the door at the far end of the room. Would she be outside the office?

As calmly as I could I lifted myself from the chair and with a mouthed excuse to my colleagues, all young ex-Hogwarts students -mostly Gryffindors if I recall accurately, I meandered to the door and turned the knob.

The hallway was like I had expected; empty.

I thought that'd be my only disappointment for the day. On my way back to my desk I considered what possibilities might be left for Katie's unreasonable statement and concluded that she must have been speaking gobbledegook. Or in other words; complete nonsense. With the mental note made that Katie was not to be trusted with her words and her state of mind, and here I noted a nice mental on my post-it note behind her name, I set myself down behind my desk when one of my colleagues asked me to get some coffee for them. Great.

I had to get up from my chair again and crossed the room, smiling a painful smile at Neville, I exited the room and ran my fingers through my hair as I took a slight pause to breathe. My life was so mixed up after the 'battle that had settled all'.

By some rather odd circumstance I had found myself drenched with water on the river back, while the sky was clearing and the dark clouds faded. I still had my wand, I had used it to make my fall less high. I know it sounds odd but Aresto Momentum really had its uses. I had landed in the river along with many other of my men. Those who had not fallen seemed to have apparated away for when I looked up the whole bridge and my whole army where gone. All I could see was that smile of Neville as he looked over the ridge and wiggled his eyebrows. I wanted to raise my fist at him but I had to get out of the river first. By the time I was on land he was gone.

My plan had been to join the battle and so I had apparated onto the field. But I saw the only people we were fighting appeared to be the students, and to risk my life or theirs when it was so obvious the Dark Lord was going to fail would have been preposterous. I mean, who would pay me after he'd be gone? Not the Hogwarts students, not the Death Eaters I saw flee. So I made up my mind and disapparated home.

My cottage was pretty much as I had left it. Damp, musky, dilapidated and very much my home. I took in the scent of sweat and old socks and made a mental note to get someone to clean it all up for me. Back at the camp we had a tent-elf who kept our tents clean and helped us by providing food. But going back to the camp would be a mistake now. Who knew what was going on there? And what use was it?

So I sat down and decided to keep an eye on the news. The outcome would be clear soon, I figured, and I put a cold compress against my head which was throbbing loudly. I waited with showering till far after midnight. I'd just been too knackered to do so sooner and my home was stench anyway. It could do with a pair more of smelly socks.

It must have been two days after the battle when someone knocked on my door again. I opened, half-expecting to see Fenrir who'd be bloody pissed off or Bellatrix who'd be bloody pissed, and was surprised to find an unfamiliar face. It was an old lady. Someone of the Jehovah's, I don't know. I asked her in but after the first two steps she pinched her nose and handed me some magazines. Then she left again. So far my life seemed to be fine.

I started searching for a new job. Deep down inside I still was a snatcher. I'd steal money, I'd steal belongings and most of all I'd steal people. And I was in dire need of a new employer. And while I was browsing the daily wizard papers and tried to ignore all the news about the aftermath of the war another person knocked on my door again. This time two small children. Two lovely girls with blonde braids and big silvery eyes. They were witches-to-be, I could say, and I sniffed in their scent. They wanted to sell some cookies which could make you chance into a frog or a rabbit for a second or two, and so I asked them in. Just as they were to pass my doorstep an old lady, presumably their mother, blocked the way and told the girls 'this man is not to be trusted.' Then they left.

I never got my cookies.

The next two visits were once again muggles with some issue or another, and I started to wonder why these foul creatures were coming to my door. How had they found me in the deep forest which had always been granted access to wizards only? It must be because of the aftermath, I mused. The war had changed many things and not for the good. The effects were noticeable already.

Four days after the battle at Hogwarts and a lady was on my doorsteps again. She wasn't my type. Though she was small she was quite plump and dressed only in pink. The little curls around her face where a light colour of brown, but the appropriate name for this colour I could not tell you for anything in the world. I blame it to being colour blind.

Or to being a man. Which in most cases is said to be the same.

I chuckled but did not invite her in. Yet she brushed past me and made herself some tea just by swirling her finger. Cocky little witch. I asked her what the meaning of this all was when she suddenly lashed out at me with her magic and my eye popped. I felt it, just popping. Just tearing in two. My left eye.

My hands immediately cupped my eye socket and I stood there saying incoherent things as I stuttered. "Are you mad?" I spat at her. "What is this? Merlin, what a blood!" And it did bleed badly, it gushed past my hand and I thought it was weird. Eyes don't bleed. I tried to look at her and saw her seated on my favourite chair with a smug smile on her face. She circled her finger through the air. "Oh, you feel it now, don't you?" She said, teasing me like mad. And in my mind she was.

"It is your eye and your nerves. In fact, I just cut through all those little muscles and veins behind your eye. And if you don't do as I say I'll cut you more and let you bleed to death."

I believe she told me some more details about the inner flesh wrapped around your skull but I was too occupied with trying to keep my left eye in to be bothered. "Just get to the point." I scolded her. I didn't mind if I had interrupted her or not.

"You are a snatcher," She finally said- and I would have rolled my eyes if I hadn't been in agony and clutching to keep my left one. "A leader of a group of snatchers responsible for the kidnapping of our three heroes." The look on my face must have been stupid because she 'oh-ed' me and spread her eyes wide.

"Hermione, Ron and most of all our Harry Potter."

I didn't like the way she toyed with her handbag. It made me want to vomit. "Spit it out, woman. I'm bleeding here!" I politely tried to coax her into telling me finally what this was all about. She was damaging me in my own home. The vixen.

"You have been wrong." She said, and I pressed my lips tightly together. "You have supported the side of murder and of wrath. You have been the enemy but no longer."

At this point I truly expected my death but it didn't come. I knew very well I had been on the side that had lost but did it really make me a bad guy? Okay, so I had murdered. Okay so I had stolen. Okay, so I had kidnapped and maimed people. Okay. So I had done crap. I won't even list all of it here. It doesn't make me look the better for it. I just nodded at her and remembered my left eye.

"However, we of the Ministry have decided to pardon you."

I tried to look up at her which was hard. I didn't recognise her at all as being employed at the Ministry and had to remind myself of the fact the Ministry must have fallen again after the battle. She must be new, I mused. Then she continued with that sheer smile of hers.

"That is, if you'll do us a favour."

I kept pressing my hands to my eye, the blood had spilled down my wrist and my wand which usually would be in my holster for some reason had been placed on the bookshelf at the other side of the room. Just my luck. I groaned. "Of course… there's always a catch."

The young woman snapped at me. "Silence. You don't amuse me with your sarcastic mockery. You will go with us and do as we say."

And so it happened. Five well-build men in black suits stepped into my house and grabbed me by my shirt. I was dragged away without even being able to grab my coat or my wand. They brought me to the Ministry where I was told the young lady who had brought me was called Murena Umbridge, daughter of the late Dolores Umbridge. I should have suspected something was off when I was told but I didn't. I was too worried about my eye. They kindly fixed it for me, as well as anything else inside that was damaged by her magical attack. Then they sat me in a chair and asked me all sorts of questions: How did you survive? Did you see anyone else fall in the river with you? Would you be able to describe their faces? Do you have any family left alive? What did you have for lunch?

I thought their questions to be ridiculous but seeing as I had no wand with me and my hands chained to the chair I thought it was best to answer as truthfully as I could without giving too much away. I was surprised they didn't commit legimens on me and kept to questions only. They then started to explain to me they needed me to work on their side. They said I would get missions of them. Lists of people. During the nights it was expected of me to go and lift these people from their beds or wherever they might be and bring them to the Ministry. I gave them a small smile for it sounded just like snatching and it was and is what I am good at. I started to feel comfortable again.

"People won't expect it." Murena explained. "They think the war is over and everyone's fine. That's why we can send you on your own or with the help of a man or two. It can easily be done. But by night. We'll take the traitors by surprise."

When she shoved the first list under my nose I knew my eyes must have twitched and my face had gone sweaty. The names on there were those of people I had worked with, of boys and girls who'd been on my team, of those who had supported the Dark Lord whether by actions or not.

I swallowed hard and she laughed. "You won't hesitate, will you?" What else could I reply but 'no ma'am.'

"Good, " She said, "for there is something else." Then she explained to me that as a cover to be employed by the Ministry and to be paid I had to do another job during the day. She placed me at the bottom of the career pyramid the Ministry held onto. I was to sort files, arrange them, and do all the dirty work as well as playing the tea and coffee boy when anyone wanted to. I was the lowest of the lowest. Again.

I heaved a deep sigh and agreed for there were two men behind me with their wands pointed at my back while I was unarmed. Fair's fair, isn't it? I had no choice but to agree.

"Good," The young woman said again and took her wand in her hand. I glanced at it and felt eerie. I had obliged with all the things they'd asked of me, I'd do their dirty jobs. What was this then? What did she want now? "You'll get your own flat in the city, near the Ministry. We'll provide you with the money for your food and for luxury goods." I smiled weakly. "Thank you, ma'am." I said, and I bowed as a true gentleman – I have had some training about manners!

Then, as I came to stand straight again, she had moved her wand and it felt as if sharp paper raked past my eyes. I groaned loudly and cupped both my eyes this time. She had just cured me about an hour ago. What was this madness?

"That you will keep." Murena said with an iron face and a monotone voice. "If you even try to heal your sight you will show us to be unwilling. Any sign of healing this injury will be taken as treachery. Any sign to have it treated by anyone else will be an offense."

I cried out at her, ready to jump her and knock her teeth out if I had to. If only the cuffs would be taken off my wrists and off the chair. I could barely reach her now. I could barely stand up straight with them still on. "You! Mad! I can't… why?" I cursed a few more words and by the time I could open my eyes fully again and the tears had streamed down my cheeks I saw her smile. It was blurred, but I could still see.

"It's a minor injury. It won't trouble you at all during your assignments. Besides, many more witches and wizards have glasses."

I could strangle her. Well, I couldn't now but I wanted to. All I did however was grit my teeth and growl. She turned her back at me.

"Now go."

The two men uncuffed my hands and I was led out by another. They escorted me first past a shop to find me glasses, then showed me to a new flat which was to be my home. After I'd investigated all the rooms for bugs and found none, and after getting used a bit to my new glasses, I apparated home to get my leather coat and grabbed my wand. Nothing had changed there, everything was still as it was. Except for some spots on the floor of blood. I bent forth to try and rub it off but as it had dried I let it be. I took the most important things I had and transferred to my new home and to my new life.

The end.

I came to the door again and stepped out of the office. Of course my memories would never end. Of course my new life was still pretty much at the start of it. And of course I had to be the one to get the coffee and biscuits for the others. I touched my glasses, pressing them back upon my nose.

As if it wasn't dainty enough that the boy who had almost murdered me was now one of my colleagues, though in a slightly higher position than me. As if it wasn't horrible enough that I had to work with people whose ideals didn't suit me.

I scurried to the kitchen and prepared their orders whilst thinking this was going to be a long day.