Title: Giving in
Author: Socrates
Disclaimer: Joss owns Buffy. I own the right to dust Spikes undead
ass if he lays one finger on Buffy.
Summary: Buffy "gives in" to Spike.
Rating: PG-13
Distribution: Take it. Just let me know where its going.
Spoilers: None
Category: Comedy
Authors notes: I don't know about everyone else but I've been kinda
depressed with the way that Buffy has been acting, turning to Spike
so much and all. So I decided to do what I always do when a
character
makes me angry: I make fun of them. Warning: This story contains
Spike bashing. The best kind!
"You know you want to slayer. You can't deny that there's something
there. I know you want to dance."
"You're right Spike. I can't deny it any longer. I'm so tired of
feeling alone. Only you see the real me. The others wouldn't
understand. They don't get what it means to be a slayer. Please help
me? Take away the pain."
"I knew you'd give in. You and me Buffy, we were meant to be. I,m
the
only one who can keep up with you. Prepare to have your world
rocked."
(sound of zipper being pulled down)
"Say hello to little big bad....Hey! Are you laughing?"
".... uh Me? Never!"
"Then whats with that look."
"Oh. Its just that... its a little...."
"A little what"
"Uh...small."
"Excuse me?"
"I just thought it would be bigger that's all. I mean you talk about
your sexiness enough, you wear that leather jacket, ride a
motorcycle. You have that whole cool thing going on, so I thought it
would be a bit... bigger."
"Didn't anyone ever tell you that size doesn't matter."
"Uh huh, people that were small, like Riley"
"You shouldn't judge a book by its cover you know."
"Thats not a book, more like a... pocket book."
"A WHAT!?!"
"I'm just saying is all."
"Well I never!"
"Never what."
"I never had anyone say that to me before."
"They must have had their eyes closed."
"Can we please refrain from badmouthing the little big bad?"
"Well you're the one who pulled it out."
"I did it because you asked me to! You wanted to get freaky."
"I did... sort of, but thats before I saw it. I guess you could say
I
was scared straight."
"I'll tell you one thing, Dru never complained."
"Well, she WAS crazy."
"... You know, you've got a point there."
"Would you mind putting that thing away? It kinda scares me."
"But I thought we were gonna do it?"
"Oh yeah... uh about that... I kinda changed my mind."
"You changed your mind?"
"Uh huh."
"Its me isn't it?"
"OH NO!... Well actually thats a lie. It is you."
"So the little big bad isn't big enough for you?"
"Thats it in a nutshell."
"Was that a joke? Were you making fun of the little big bad?"
"Would you please stop talking about it? I'm trying to get the
images
out of my mind. As it is I'll be having nightmares for weeks."
"I'll bet Angel wasn't all that bigger."
"... Yeah well he knew what to do with it at least."
"And I don't?"
"From the looks of it I'd say the answer is a big fat no Or in your
case, a tiny shriveled no."
"Will you please stop insulting me?"
"Fine, I have to go anyway. Me and the others are going camping
tomorrow. We're gonna roast chestnuts."
"LAY OFF WITH THE INSULTS!"
"Sorry, couldn't help that one. Anyway, I have to go. Its been...
fun. We should do this again some time... On second thought, forget
I
said that."
(Sound of the crypt door opening and then closing)
"That was REALLY freaky! What the hell was I thinking? I can now
safelt say that sex with Spike is a BAD thing... Hm... I wonder what
Xander is doing?"
The End
And that folks is the closest I will ever come to writing B/S so
enjoy it!"
Author: Socrates
Disclaimer: Joss owns Buffy. I own the right to dust Spikes undead
ass if he lays one finger on Buffy.
Summary: Buffy "gives in" to Spike.
Rating: PG-13
Distribution: Take it. Just let me know where its going.
Spoilers: None
Category: Comedy
Authors notes: I don't know about everyone else but I've been kinda
depressed with the way that Buffy has been acting, turning to Spike
so much and all. So I decided to do what I always do when a
character
makes me angry: I make fun of them. Warning: This story contains
Spike bashing. The best kind!
"You know you want to slayer. You can't deny that there's something
there. I know you want to dance."
"You're right Spike. I can't deny it any longer. I'm so tired of
feeling alone. Only you see the real me. The others wouldn't
understand. They don't get what it means to be a slayer. Please help
me? Take away the pain."
"I knew you'd give in. You and me Buffy, we were meant to be. I,m
the
only one who can keep up with you. Prepare to have your world
rocked."
(sound of zipper being pulled down)
"Say hello to little big bad....Hey! Are you laughing?"
".... uh Me? Never!"
"Then whats with that look."
"Oh. Its just that... its a little...."
"A little what"
"Uh...small."
"Excuse me?"
"I just thought it would be bigger that's all. I mean you talk about
your sexiness enough, you wear that leather jacket, ride a
motorcycle. You have that whole cool thing going on, so I thought it
would be a bit... bigger."
"Didn't anyone ever tell you that size doesn't matter."
"Uh huh, people that were small, like Riley"
"You shouldn't judge a book by its cover you know."
"Thats not a book, more like a... pocket book."
"A WHAT!?!"
"I'm just saying is all."
"Well I never!"
"Never what."
"I never had anyone say that to me before."
"They must have had their eyes closed."
"Can we please refrain from badmouthing the little big bad?"
"Well you're the one who pulled it out."
"I did it because you asked me to! You wanted to get freaky."
"I did... sort of, but thats before I saw it. I guess you could say
I
was scared straight."
"I'll tell you one thing, Dru never complained."
"Well, she WAS crazy."
"... You know, you've got a point there."
"Would you mind putting that thing away? It kinda scares me."
"But I thought we were gonna do it?"
"Oh yeah... uh about that... I kinda changed my mind."
"You changed your mind?"
"Uh huh."
"Its me isn't it?"
"OH NO!... Well actually thats a lie. It is you."
"So the little big bad isn't big enough for you?"
"Thats it in a nutshell."
"Was that a joke? Were you making fun of the little big bad?"
"Would you please stop talking about it? I'm trying to get the
images
out of my mind. As it is I'll be having nightmares for weeks."
"I'll bet Angel wasn't all that bigger."
"... Yeah well he knew what to do with it at least."
"And I don't?"
"From the looks of it I'd say the answer is a big fat no Or in your
case, a tiny shriveled no."
"Will you please stop insulting me?"
"Fine, I have to go anyway. Me and the others are going camping
tomorrow. We're gonna roast chestnuts."
"LAY OFF WITH THE INSULTS!"
"Sorry, couldn't help that one. Anyway, I have to go. Its been...
fun. We should do this again some time... On second thought, forget
I
said that."
(Sound of the crypt door opening and then closing)
"That was REALLY freaky! What the hell was I thinking? I can now
safelt say that sex with Spike is a BAD thing... Hm... I wonder what
Xander is doing?"
The End
And that folks is the closest I will ever come to writing B/S so
enjoy it!"