Disclaimer – Unfortunately, I do not own Doctor Who, which belongs solely to the BBC and all it's creators. This is just my attempt at ending my tears after watching Journey's End for the countless time.
Forever
"Bad Wolf Bay!" The Doctor cringed at how blunt and heartless the words sounded. Rose turned to him, features drawn in confusion. He tried to ignore the clenching of his hearts as he forced himself to look into her eyes. "You're home." The words sounded hollow, even to him. A look of despair tore through Rose's hazel eyes and the Doctor lowered his gaze to the sand, unable to keep looking at her.
He heard her draw a harsh breath and his eyes closed, hands fisting. He could not stand to see her cry; to know that it was because of him...
"No." The firmness of her voice startled him out of his resolve.
"What?" Surely he had heard her wrong? He strengthened himself for her pleading look and met her gaze. What he saw shocked him. Her eyes held no despair, her features neither pleading nor demanding.
"No. I'm not staying here." Her face remained blank, devoid of all emotion. It was a simple fact. The Doctor realised he was holding his breath and let it out in a choked sigh.
"But –"
"No." His mouth formed his argument but she cut him off before the words could escape. There was that word again. The Doctor did not understand. He tried again.
"You have to –"
"You're not listening to me." Rose remained unflinching, staring into his eyes as if looking into the very depths of his soul, holding him captive. "When I said I'm never leaving you, when I said I'm not staying here, I meant it: forever." Another word that was seemingly so simple and yet his hearts skipped a beat. He wished it was true.
He took a deep breath as he took in her form. The wind was whipping her hair around her face but she seemed unbothered by it as her focus remained on him. He mentally cursed the universe for putting him in this position a second time. No matter how stubborn she was acting, he knew that this was goodbye and he would have to leave without her.
"Your forever is not the same as my forever." He could sense her interruption but carried on speaking, determined to say what he had to. "I lose everyone and sooner or later, I will lose you. Your family are all here. You have built a new and fantastic life for yourself and I can not take you away from that. You deserve someone who can grow old with you, who truly can stay with you forever. It's the one thing that I can never do." Rose didn't even blink as he gestured over her shoulder to his clone.
"He can give you everything that I can't – he can give you his forever."
"He is not you." The Doctor's hearts clenched at her words.
"He needs you. That's very me." He gave her a small, sad smile, blinking back the moisture in his eyes.
"And I need you." Rose took half a step forward. "Tell me: last time we stood on this beach, you were going to say something and never got the chance. What was it?" The Doctor thought she was trying to torture him.
"I said, Rose Tyler..."
"And how was that sentence going to end?" she whispered.
"Does it need saying?" How could he say the words and then walk away and leave her? To his surprise she scoffed.
"No, I suppose it doesn't. You've had your say, now it's my turn and you apparently haven't been listening so far so you will listen now." Even if he had had another argument, her bluntness silenced him.
"I have spent the past two years fighting to find a way back to you and I am not letting you leave me here again. It's not going to happen. You say that I've built a fantastic life for myself but I haven't. The only thing that has kept me going was the knowledge that I couldn't rest properly until I had found you again. Look at me. Really look at me. Do you notice anything different about me?" The Doctor's eyes scanned her body and then returned to her face, drinking her in.
"No." He shook his head slightly, wondering what he was missing.
"No," she echoed, "exactly." His face contracted in confusion and he silently tilted his head in question.
"That's because there isn't anything to notice." Rose continued. The Doctor's puzzlement increased, his question not being answered as he wondered why she had asked in the first place. "I haven't changed...in three years." She gave him a significant look. He cast his mind back. Why should that be important? What had happened three years ago? That had been around the time of his regeneration, but why would that hold any connection? His mind whirled, his stomach swooped and his mouth dropped open with the sudden implication.
"Bad Wolf." She stated, confirming his thoughts. "It's all connected." Reaching forwards, she took his hand in hers. "It's no coincidence that we're back at Bad Wolf Bay because it's another message. I haven't aged a day. I changed without noticing. I looked into the TARDIS and the TARDIS looked into me...changed me." Their fingers entwined and his grip tightened as she uttered her next words.
"You can't leave me here. Our forever is the same." The Doctor opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He did the only thing he could do in the situation.
Closing the remaining distance between them he crushed his lips to hers, claiming her own in a passionate embrace. The rest of the world was forgotten as he focused on the feeling of her own lips, so soft and yielding under his. He ran his tongue over her bottom lip and she granted him immediate access, her own tongue reaching out to meet his, drawing him in.
The Doctor wondered why he had waited so long as they devoured each other, clinging to one another until their was no space between them. It was only when the need for air became too much that they broke the kiss, moving no further than to rest their heads together, the Doctor's free hand cupping Rose's face as they stood their panting.
He noticed with a genuine smile that the blank look had disappeared from Rose's eyes, replaced by the usual fire with which he had fallen in love with. His hearts soared as he realised that there was nothing holding him back.
"I love you." She felt the words as much as heard them, his lips ghosting across hers as he spoke. He was dazzled by the smile that broke out across her face.
"Quite right, too." They laughed quietly before quickly sobering. "I love you." A look of wonder passed across his face, as though he still could not believe that this was happening. She took his lips in a quick kiss before turning slightly, hand still clasped together with his, to let in the outside world.
Donna had already returned to the TARDIS to give them their privacy, leaving only Jackie and the alternative 'Doctor' standing a little way down the beach.
"What are we going to do now?" Rose questioned. The Doctor could hear the uncertainty that had crept into her voice. He realised that she thought he might still abandon her and tightened his grip on her hand. He was not letting her go again.
"Well," he dragged the word out, "I have a feeling I'm going to get another slap from you mother when she finds out your coming back with me." He felt as she relaxed into his side, the tension draining from her as she let out a blissful chuckle. He released her hand, only to wrap an arm around her waist.
"Come on, gotta face her sometime." Still wrapped up in each other, they made their way over to their audience.
"You're going back with him." Her mother spoke as they came close.
"I have to." The Doctor tightened his grip as her voice wobbled. She looked up and gave him a reassuring smile before stepping forward into her mother's crushing embrace.
"I'll miss you." She returned her mother's hug before pulling back. "I love you but I have to go. I don't belong here, I belong with the Doctor and you know that. Tell Tony and Dad that I love them too." Jackie let out a chocked sob and leaned forward to give Rose another hug.
"I've always known that you'd stay with him if you found a way back. I promise, Tony will know all about his big sister. I love you." Her mother released her and Rose stepped back to stand beside the Doctor. Jackie turned to him but instead of the slap he expected, she pulled him into a hug, too.
"You better take care of her, you hear me?"
"It's impossible not to." He joked and she chuckled as she pulled back. He turned serious. "You don't have to worry. I promised you a long time ago that I would always look after her and that hasn't changed. I love her and will do anything to keep her safe." Jackie gave him an understanding smile.
"I know." Two simple words and with them, the Doctor found a new respect for the woman in front of him. She was willing to trust him with her daughter's life and he would see to it that he never failed her. He returned her smile, unable to vocalise how much her vote of confidence meant to him.
"Thank you."
The silence was broken by the human 'Doctor'.
"What about me?" Everyone turned to face him as he posed the question.
"I'm so sorry." The Doctor sighed. "You can't return with us. Technically you shouldn't even exist. Regardless of the fact that you're human, there can't be two of us in the same universe." He was at a loss.
"Dad is in charge of the Torchwood in this universe." The Doctor looked down at Rose as she spoke, amazed by her calculated resolution. "He can help you. I'm sure he can find you a job. It might not be to the same life as you would have in the TARDIS, but defending the Earth isn't such a bad thing. It won't be easy but with help, you can build a life for yourself here."
The human Doctor looked helplessly behind them at the TARDIS before lowering his gaze to the sand at his feet.
"It might not mean much but you have me, and I'm sure Pete will help you as much as he can." At Jackie's voice he looked towards her, sending her a grateful smile.
"That means more than you could know." Jackie laid a comforting hand on his arm.
It was the TARDIS that drew their attention next, letting out an echoing sound.
"We have to go." The Doctor stated. "The walls will be closing soon." Jackie let out a sob and Rose stepped forward to pull her into a final hug.
"I love you." She stated softly as she stepped back at took the Doctor's hand. "Don't forget that."
"I won't sweetie. I love you, too. Go on, both of you, we'll be fine; Pete's on his way." The TARDIS let out another warning sound and the Doctor and Rose turned and made their way towards her across the sand. The stopped as they reached the door to wave a final goodbye. The TARDIS swung open to admit them and, hand in hand, they stepped off the beach into their new life together. The New New Doctor and his New New Rose.
Jackie and the 'Human Doctor' stood and watched as the TARDIS dematerialised from Bad Wolf Bay for the final time. They might have gone but they would always be remembered and loved.
AN:// So there you have it – how I think Journey's End should have ended. Review and let me know what you think. :D
