Disclaimer: It's all JK Rowlings.
"Harry?"
"Yeah?"
W-what? WhatdoyathinkofHermione?"
Harry and Ron sat together in opposite cushy chairs of the fireplace. The now deserted, but still warm and cozy Gryffindor common room was silent save for their quiet conversation. It was nearly 12:00am, every other member of Gryffindor were asleep in their beds (except for the few who had stole off to makeout in random broomclosets with random other house members.) But Harry and Ron were wide awake and sadly, not for any lustful business. They were faithfully awaiting Hermione. Now in 6th year Hermione had gotten her first ever detention without the company of her two other halves. And surprisingly it wasn't with Snape.
Really Malfoy was to blame. It had all started after a mishap in Transfiguration when Hermione was distracted by Malfoys taunting behind her.
"Mind if you move that shrubbery you call hair Granger? I can't see the blackboard."
Turning around to stick her nose up at Draco, while anger rose to her cheeks, Hermione accidentally shot a bright red spark from her wand. And with a pop the porcelain china plate in front of her had turned into a bright red, cherry flavored condom.
Well, in the time span of 2 seconds the hormone packed room exploded into jeers and giggles (even a snort had escaped from Harry's lips as he gawked at the bright rubber circle.) Draco had craned his neck to see the red protection lying on the table and his pointed face contorted to disgust as he called out loudly.
"A muggle sex toy!? Why Granger, if you wanted to bed me, all you had to do was beg." His lips spreading facetiously.
In the midst of the condom commotion Hermione sat staring horrified, Ron sat next to her in a state of severe blushing, Harry's green eyes were still boggled but he was finding it hard to keep a straight face amidst the laughter and Professor McGonagall stood in front of the class, eyes staring heavenwards and looking extremely bored. In all her years of teaching at Hogwarts this wasn't the first time a student had transfigured something into…something *else.* The Weasley twins alone had been responsible for many crude items (Madame Limpets Liquidy Lubrication, sporting nipple clamps with little golden snitches on them, and of course there had been the dildos, who could forget those?)
After a few seconds Minerva raised her hand calmly,
"Silence! I demand silence in this class." She spoke firmly. Slowly the room grew quieter until only a few spurts of snickers and giggles could be heard. As Minerva walked swiftly towards Hermione's table she looked down at the frozen girl with sympathy.
"Miss Granger? Miss Granger." Hermione raised her bulging eyes.
"I'm sorry Miss Granger, but I'm afraid I'll have to give you a detention for the disturbance in class."
Hermione only nodded numbly.
The rest of the day had been spent awkwardly, Hermione being unusually shy and Harry and Ron not knowing what to say. Malfoy and his gang had taken every opportunity to throw jeers at their direction, officially dubbing Hermione the "Condom of Mudbloods."
She needed all her strength to pull Ron and Harry back from going to pound Malfoy every five minutes.
Now as they sat in front of the fire at 12:01 precisely, it was safe to say Mione would be in a very sour mood when she got back.
"What do you mean?" Harry asked confused, as he turned to look at Ron's red face.
"Y-You know. Hermione, what do you think of her?" Harry's brow furrowed in confusion, his eyes blinking repeatedly behind his glasses.
"I…I think she's really…nice."
Ron's head shook impatiently and he rolled his eyes in frustration.
"No Harry. I mean.. what do you think of her as a… girl" he finished awkwardly. Realization dawned on Harry and he looked a bit uncomfortable as he bowed his messy head and shrugged quickly.
"I don't know Ron. I don't. I'm too busy dealing with Mione as a friend to deal with her as a girl." He said, eyebrows raised and head shaking at the very idea.
For awhile they sat in silence until Ron cleared his throat.
"Well, I'm not too busy. Too think of her as a, a girl I mean." He said softly.
"Oh." Was all Harry could add, but suddenly his lips broke into a wide grin.
"You sorta wish that cherry flavored condom was for you, don't you Ron?"
Ron's cheeks brightened deeply, but he couldn't help smiling.
"Shuddup Harry," he grinned, tossing a fluffy cushion at Harry's head. Snagging the pillow left-handed with seeker skills, Harry tossed it playfully back at Ron. Unfortunately Ron didn't catch it with seeker skills and just got hit in the face.
A couple minutes passed in pleasant silence before Ron spoke again.
"Harry?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you ever? D-do you know? Howbigryou?" Ron blurted out. Harry's eyes nearly popped out of his head, while his mouth hung limply.
"What?" he managed.
By now Ron Weasley was redder then the cherry flavored condom itself.
"You know," he said, making a sheepish gesture towards his pants.
"I-I. Good god Ron I don't know." Harry finally spit out looking very uneasy, running a hand through his black mess.
"Nothing personal." The red-head muttered.
The seconds ticked by tensely.
"Well how big are you?" Harry asked suddenly.
"I…well I don't know" straightening his posture slightly, Ron added, "I'm a good size."
Well, I'm a…good size too." Harry agreed and Ron nodded as they both sat back in their chairs.
"Fred reckons he found a spell to make his larger." Ron remarked in amazement.
At this Harry turned to Ron in awe and they shared a meaningful glance at the wonders of mixing magic with manhood.
Rapidly Ron became red again,
"Not that I'd need that or anything," he added quickly.
"Oh no, of course not," Harry replied all too seriously.
"Harry?"
"Yeah?"
W-what? WhatdoyathinkofHermione?"
Harry and Ron sat together in opposite cushy chairs of the fireplace. The now deserted, but still warm and cozy Gryffindor common room was silent save for their quiet conversation. It was nearly 12:00am, every other member of Gryffindor were asleep in their beds (except for the few who had stole off to makeout in random broomclosets with random other house members.) But Harry and Ron were wide awake and sadly, not for any lustful business. They were faithfully awaiting Hermione. Now in 6th year Hermione had gotten her first ever detention without the company of her two other halves. And surprisingly it wasn't with Snape.
Really Malfoy was to blame. It had all started after a mishap in Transfiguration when Hermione was distracted by Malfoys taunting behind her.
"Mind if you move that shrubbery you call hair Granger? I can't see the blackboard."
Turning around to stick her nose up at Draco, while anger rose to her cheeks, Hermione accidentally shot a bright red spark from her wand. And with a pop the porcelain china plate in front of her had turned into a bright red, cherry flavored condom.
Well, in the time span of 2 seconds the hormone packed room exploded into jeers and giggles (even a snort had escaped from Harry's lips as he gawked at the bright rubber circle.) Draco had craned his neck to see the red protection lying on the table and his pointed face contorted to disgust as he called out loudly.
"A muggle sex toy!? Why Granger, if you wanted to bed me, all you had to do was beg." His lips spreading facetiously.
In the midst of the condom commotion Hermione sat staring horrified, Ron sat next to her in a state of severe blushing, Harry's green eyes were still boggled but he was finding it hard to keep a straight face amidst the laughter and Professor McGonagall stood in front of the class, eyes staring heavenwards and looking extremely bored. In all her years of teaching at Hogwarts this wasn't the first time a student had transfigured something into…something *else.* The Weasley twins alone had been responsible for many crude items (Madame Limpets Liquidy Lubrication, sporting nipple clamps with little golden snitches on them, and of course there had been the dildos, who could forget those?)
After a few seconds Minerva raised her hand calmly,
"Silence! I demand silence in this class." She spoke firmly. Slowly the room grew quieter until only a few spurts of snickers and giggles could be heard. As Minerva walked swiftly towards Hermione's table she looked down at the frozen girl with sympathy.
"Miss Granger? Miss Granger." Hermione raised her bulging eyes.
"I'm sorry Miss Granger, but I'm afraid I'll have to give you a detention for the disturbance in class."
Hermione only nodded numbly.
The rest of the day had been spent awkwardly, Hermione being unusually shy and Harry and Ron not knowing what to say. Malfoy and his gang had taken every opportunity to throw jeers at their direction, officially dubbing Hermione the "Condom of Mudbloods."
She needed all her strength to pull Ron and Harry back from going to pound Malfoy every five minutes.
Now as they sat in front of the fire at 12:01 precisely, it was safe to say Mione would be in a very sour mood when she got back.
"What do you mean?" Harry asked confused, as he turned to look at Ron's red face.
"Y-You know. Hermione, what do you think of her?" Harry's brow furrowed in confusion, his eyes blinking repeatedly behind his glasses.
"I…I think she's really…nice."
Ron's head shook impatiently and he rolled his eyes in frustration.
"No Harry. I mean.. what do you think of her as a… girl" he finished awkwardly. Realization dawned on Harry and he looked a bit uncomfortable as he bowed his messy head and shrugged quickly.
"I don't know Ron. I don't. I'm too busy dealing with Mione as a friend to deal with her as a girl." He said, eyebrows raised and head shaking at the very idea.
For awhile they sat in silence until Ron cleared his throat.
"Well, I'm not too busy. Too think of her as a, a girl I mean." He said softly.
"Oh." Was all Harry could add, but suddenly his lips broke into a wide grin.
"You sorta wish that cherry flavored condom was for you, don't you Ron?"
Ron's cheeks brightened deeply, but he couldn't help smiling.
"Shuddup Harry," he grinned, tossing a fluffy cushion at Harry's head. Snagging the pillow left-handed with seeker skills, Harry tossed it playfully back at Ron. Unfortunately Ron didn't catch it with seeker skills and just got hit in the face.
A couple minutes passed in pleasant silence before Ron spoke again.
"Harry?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you ever? D-do you know? Howbigryou?" Ron blurted out. Harry's eyes nearly popped out of his head, while his mouth hung limply.
"What?" he managed.
By now Ron Weasley was redder then the cherry flavored condom itself.
"You know," he said, making a sheepish gesture towards his pants.
"I-I. Good god Ron I don't know." Harry finally spit out looking very uneasy, running a hand through his black mess.
"Nothing personal." The red-head muttered.
The seconds ticked by tensely.
"Well how big are you?" Harry asked suddenly.
"I…well I don't know" straightening his posture slightly, Ron added, "I'm a good size."
Well, I'm a…good size too." Harry agreed and Ron nodded as they both sat back in their chairs.
"Fred reckons he found a spell to make his larger." Ron remarked in amazement.
At this Harry turned to Ron in awe and they shared a meaningful glance at the wonders of mixing magic with manhood.
Rapidly Ron became red again,
"Not that I'd need that or anything," he added quickly.
"Oh no, of course not," Harry replied all too seriously.