AN: Some of you probably saw this story and thought "What shit has she done now?" *Sigh* This is just another random one-shot. So, I was thinking of all the plotholes in FANG (and there are many) and I was wondering why James Patterson totally forgot to add Brigid in the book. So I was wondering where the heck she went. And at the same time, I had been meaning to write a Percy Jackson/Maximum Ride crossover. So I decided that Brigid would be Hades's personal assistant! Sometimes I wonder what goes on in my mind… This one-shot is just to explain away Brigid's disappearance. The beginning takes place before FANG and the second part takes place after FANG. And the whole thing takes place after TLO. Anyway, enjoy! I don't think this is very funny, it's just something I had to get out of my head.

Disclaimer: I don't own PJO or MR. If I owned MR, I would be rewriting FANG.

Brigid Dwyer had disappeared.

Not completely, of course. Someone who had once been that crucial in a book series couldn't completely disappear, but Brigid had been forgotten. Cast away. Nobody wanted her, needed her.

It had started on an ordinary summer day. Cliché, right? Brigid had been called to see James Patterson, the author of the book series Brigid was a part of. Brigid thought that maybe he just wanted to talk to her about her importance in the Maximum Ride series—how the series would be nothing without her.

Brigid had arrived at James Patterson's house in Florida at around noon. She would never forget that day. She had driven there from the place she was currently doing some scientific studies. She rang the doorbell of the Floridian house and waited for someone to open the door. She twirled her red hair around her fingers. She had been forced to dye her hair red before the 5th book.

Finally, someone opened the door. It was James Patterson himself.

"Hi," Brigid said cheerily with a little wave.

James Patterson said nothing as he showed her to the living room. That was when she began to realize something was wrong. James Patterson hadn't contacted her about her role in the Maximum Ride series for months now. But before, she had just thought that the old man was losing his memory. But now…

"How's the 6th Maximum Ride book coming, Mr. Patterson?" Brigid asked in the happiest voice she could muster.

James Patterson shook his head, not looking at Brigid. "I'm sorry, Brigid, but we're going to have to let you go because of the current economic crisis. I just can't support that many book characters anymore. I'm sorry, but you're getting fired from Maximum Ride," he said regrettably.

Brigid's eyes widened and her jaw dropped open in shock. "B-but why me?" she asked. She could feel tears beginning to well up in her eyes. Why did this have to happen to her?

James Patterson sighed."I reviewed the importance of each character to the plotline. And I've decided that you won't be needed."

Brigid began to panic. "B-but I make Max jealous!" she cried in a desperate attempt to change the author's mind.

James Patterson shook his head again. "I'm sorry. You're not as important as the other characters in the books."

"Not even Mr. Chu?" Brigid tried.

"Actually, I have plans for Mr. Chu. He's going to be a weird green thing in FANG," he seriously

"So what am I supposed to do now? Maximum Ride was my whole life!" Brigid yelled indignantly.

"Surely you can find another job," Patterson said dismissively.

"But what if I can't?" Brigid yelled angrily. He couldn't just fire one of his main characters. The readers would demand for her to come back so that she could cause trouble between Max and Fang. She would…she would sue him! Yes, that's what she'd do.

"Then that's your problem," he said, clearly dismissing her. Brigid walked out the door in a daze. She couldn't comprehend what was happening to her. Her life had just changed drastically and not in a way she had ever expected. This was just so sudden; it had come at her with no warning whatsoever.

Brigid went inside her car but didn't drive off. Instead, she just placed her head in her hands and thought about what had just happened to her. No more Maximum Ride.

This meant no more Fang. Brigid almost started bawling when she realized that. James Patterson had introduced her into the books for the sole purpose of liking Fang and making Max jealous. But even if she hadn't practically been forced to like Fang, she would have anyway. He was just so…irresistible, even though he was quite a few years younger than her and completely in love with Max. She couldn't help being attracted to him, like the many fangirls who had already fallen under his spell.

His overlong dark hair was just so adorable when it hung into his eyes. He was always so dark, mysterious, and silent. And what female could resist "tall, dark, and mysterious"? So Brigid had fallen head over heels for Fang, much to Max's disgust.

And no more Maximum Ride meant no more fluctuating between the good side and the bad side. When Max had seen Brigid talking to Mr. Chu, she had been sure that Brigid was working for him, but in truth, Brigid didn't even know which side she was on herself. James Patterson had yet to decide that. Brigid guessed that would just be one of the many plotholes that would be present in FANG. Great, now she was just a plothole.

And she didn't even have a job now. Her scientific studies and CSM work were entirely dependent on her having a place in the Maximum Ride series. If she was gone from the books, she could say goodbye to her source of income. She would no doubt be replaced without a second thought. No more Fang…no more making Max jealous…no more uncomfortable trips to Antarctica…

Her whole life and any form of stability in it had just been pulled out from under her and she had no idea what the heck she was supposed to do.

She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She was lost. She didn't know who she was supposed to be anymore.

And suddenly, her cell phone rang. How dare someone call her when she was in the middle of a crisis? Well of course they wouldn't know she was in the middle of a crisis, but still.

She answered the phone with a sigh. She had looked at the caller ID and had seen that it was her friend John Abate from the CSM calling her.

"What?" she said in a depressed voice.

"I heard you got fired from the book series," John said sympathetically. News traveled fast in the Maximum Ride world.

"Yeah," Brigid sighed dejectedly.

"Well, I have some good news. I may have been able to find a new job for you!" He sounded excited.

"What?" Brigid asked skeptically. What if this new job ended up like her MR job—with her getting fired suddenly?

"I don't know if you'll like this job but it sure pays good."

"Tell me," Brigid said.

And John began to tell her about the new job he had heard about.

Two Months Later

Nico di Angelo did not want to have to deal with his father Hades right then. But then, nobody wanted to deal with the Lord of the Dead. He was generally a very disagreeable person. Nico was in Los Angeles, at the main entrance to the Underworld, about to go visit his father. He would have brought his friends with him, but Hades hated Percy, meaning he hated Annabeth, Percy's girlfriend, too. The Underworld freaked Grover out. And Nico hadn't exactly made any other friends at camp. So he was stuck with visiting his father on his own. He could already tell this would be a depressing trip. But then, it didn't take much to figure that out. He was going to the Underworld after all.

He was waiting in the lobby of the "recording studio". Dead people were milling around with identical depressed and bored expressions on their faces. Nico was never an overly cheerful person anyway, but the dead people were making him even more depressed.

He would normally just go down the elevator to the Underworld without anyone's permission (he was the son of the god who ruled the place, after all), but today, the elevator was somehow not working. So Nico had to wait for Charon. But Charon wasn't at the front desk.

Nico tapped his foot against the floor impatiently. He wished someone would come already. But the front desk remained empty.

Finally, someone stepped out of one of the back rooms of the "recording studio". Nico was about to start telling at Charon for not being there, but it wasn't Charon. In fact, the person looked nothing like Charon. For one thing, it was a woman. Red hair. She looked smart. She had a Palm Pilot in one hand and a clipboard in the other hand. She walked up to the desk and stood behind it. She smiled at Nico.

Nico looked at her with a confused expression on his face. "Who are you?" he asked the woman.

"I'm Brigid." She paused, looking Nico up and down. "You must be Nico! I'm your father's personal assistant. Charon's taking a vacation in Hawaii so I'm here."

Nico looked at Brigid skeptically. "My father doesn't have a personal assistant."

"Oh, I just got hired two months ago. Your father's schedule was getting very busy because the gods want him in Olympus a lot—which is a good thing, I guess—so he wanted to hire someone to keep track of his schedule and help him with things," Brigid said with a cheery smile. Would this lady stop smiling? She was freaking working for the God of the Dead!

Nico was still looking at her weirdly. "How come my father never told me about him getting a personal assistant?"

Brigid fixed Nico with a look that suddenly made him feel very, very stupid. "Do you and your father ever have any father-and-son talks?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Um…no," Nico admitted.

"I rest my case," Brigid said with yet another smile. Stop…smiling.

Nico scrutinized Brigid. "You don't look dead," he pointed out. Brigid thought this was quite obvious, but maybe Nico was a bit dense.

"That's because I'm not dead," Brigid told him.

Nico gave her a confused look. "But most people who work for my father are either dead or immortal. He's the god of dead people." Nico wondered why his father had hired someone living. He never thought his father would do that. But then again, he didn't know what his father would do under any circumstances.

"Well, your father decided to hire me for my amazing organizational skills." How the Hades was she still smiling? "Speaking of your father, he has a meeting on Olympus soon," she said suddenly. She looked at the clipboard, which had a schedule on it. "Oh no, he's going to be late," she cried. She reached into her pocket for something but couldn't find it there. She started looking on the desk but couldn't find it there either.

Nico watched this with a sort of weird fascination. He was still surprised that his father had hired an assistant who was mortal and alive. And a pretty one too. Nico had to admit that.

"Oh, I found it!" she cried suddenly. She took a cell phone out of one of the desk drawers and held it up triumphantly. She began to call someone.

Nico was still just looking at her. Amazing organizational skills?

Brigid held the phone to her ear. "Lord Hades, you're wanted in Olympus in 10 minutes. Also, your son is here to see you," she said in a professional voice. Nico still couldn't believe that his father would even talk to a mortal. And he had a cell phone!

Brigid listened and nodded. "All right, Lord Hades," she said. Then she looked at Nico. Your father will be appearing here—"

Suddenly, Hades appeared next to the front desk, cutting Brigid off.

"…right about now," Brigid finished.

Hades turned to Brigid immediately, ignoring his son. Nico rolled his eyes. Of course his father would treat him like crap. The dead souls backed away when they say the trapped souls sewn onto Hades' black robe.

"What's my schedule for the rest of the day, Brigid?" he asked her briskly, still ignoring Nico.

"Don't you want to say hi to your son first?"Brigid asked, wanting to be nice. Why did she have to be so nice?

Hades glared at Nico. "Hello," he said stiffly. He had an expression on his face that made Nico think that he had smelled something bad. But Nico had remembered to put on deodorant…

"Why did you hire a mortal as your assistant?" Nico asked his father. Nico had to admit, he was genuinely curious. His father had always looked down on mortals.

"Because she got fired from her last job. Some part in a book or something." Hades waved his hand dismissively. "I decided that I needed a personal assistant, so I interviewed people for the job. Brigid was by far the most qualified."

"Thank you, my lord," Brigid beamed.

"She's the only mortal I've ever met who I haven't wanted to smash into smithereens. I'm training her to take over Charon's job completely. He's always asking for a raise and health care benefits. He's immortal. He doesn't need health care benefits. That's what happens in this society, Employees are always wanting more. If—"

"I'm sorry, Lord Hades, but if you want to make the meeting, you have to leave now," Brigid glanced at her watch worriedly. Nico waited for Hades to blast her to pieces, but he didn't. Maybe his father…tolerated mortals now. Nico shook his head. No, that couldn't be it.

"Brigid, tell me what my schedule is for the rest of the day," Hades commanded.

Brigid cleared her throat. "Well, you have the meeting at 10. It should end by two, but I'm predicting that it will last longer because of how you gods…um…fight. You have nothing to do until 7, when Persephone insists on having a family dinner, so you can go scare some mortals between 3 and 7. Four hours should be enough time. After that you have some paperwork to fill out. Would you like me to start on that?" Brigid looked at Hades inquiringly. Hades nodded.

"Try to get as much as you can done," Lord Hades told his personal assistant.

Brigid nodded. "Is that all, my lord?" she asked.

Hades nodded once and then disappeared in a puff of black smoke.

Nico turned to Brigid as soon as his father was gone. "Why did you decide to work for the Lord of the Dead?" he asked incredulously. He knew that "personal assistant to the God of the Underworld" was a job most people would hate.

Brigid shrugged. "I figured this couldn't be any worse than my last job. I got fired suddenly. No warning at all." Brigid gave a sad little shake of her head. "Besides—"

Brigid was cut off by her ringing cell phone. She scrunched her eyebrows together in confusion. Who could be calling her? She answered her phone.

"Hello?" she asked hesitantly. She hadn't recognized the number when he had looked at the caller ID.

"Hello, Brigid. This is James Patterson." Brigid almost dropped the phone. What could he want?

"What?" she asked coldly. She wasn't generally a very mean person, but she could make an exception for this man.

James Patterson cleared his throat. "Brigid, I have a proposition for you. The readers hated FANG." He stopped, letting this information sink in with Brigid. Brigid didn't answer.

"So we want to rehire you," he said confidently, like he was sure Brigid would jump at the chance to reenter the Maximum Ride world. And in truth, once, she would have.

Brigid smiled. This time she would have the last word. "Nope," she said, popping the 'p'. She ended the call and turned around to talk to Nico.

After all, she was just another plothole.

AN: That wasn't uproariously funny, but I kind of liked it. Review?