The Nightmare
Summary: Ever since Malachore, Ezra hasn't had a good night's sleep. He either can't allow himself to sleep, or is plagued by nightmares. When Ezra finally got to sleep tonight, he was hit with the worst nightmare yet.
I saw this headcanon on tumblr and decided to roll with it.
Ezra laid in his bunk in the cabin he shared with Zeb. It had been a week since Malachore. A week since Ahsoka died; a week since Kanan was blinded. Ever since they got back to the base, he just couldn't sleep. The guilt ate at him, making him tired, but unable to sleep. On the off chance that he did fall asleep, he had nightmares—nightmares of Maul, of Vader, of the temple and holocron.
Ezra let out a sigh and shifted in bed for the fifth time since he went to bed. He had been lying restlessly in bed for the past two hours. ,He closed his eyes and fell asleep after a few moments.
Ezra heard the door slide open, but ignored it, thinking it was probably Zeb leaving to get a drink or something. He heard footsteps approach, okay, so maybe Zeb was coming in from getting a drink. But the presence didn't climb into the bottom bunk but chose to stand there, presumably staring at Ezra. He opened his eyes and was met with Kanan's blindfolded face.
"Kanan?" Ezra asked.
"It's your fault." Kanan blamed.
"What?" Ezra asked breathlessly.
"It's all your fault." Kanan accused. He was on Ezra's bunk in a flash, knees on either side of his chest. "It's your fault."
"Kanan what, what are you doing?" Ezra asked. He tried to push the older man off him, but just succeeded in getting his wrist caught and forced above his head.
"It's your fault." Kanan blamed. "It's your fault this happened." He took of his blindfold revealing the scared remains of his eyes.
"Kanan, please I didn't mean too." Ezra pleaded.
"It's your fault." Kanan repeated, he pulled something from his belt. It was one of the biggest knives from the kitchen. "It's all your fault." He brought the knife close to Ezra's face.
"No, no Kanan please!" Ezra begged. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He struggled, trying to get free from Kanan's hold.
"Apologizing won't change the fact that it's your fault that my eyes are gone." Kanan replied. "So I'll just have to take your eyes."
"No, no, please. I'm sorry!" Ezra pleaded. "Please, don't."
Kanan brought the knife closer to Ezra's eyes. "I always liked your pretty blue eyes."
"No, please don't. Please, I'm sorry." Ezra begged, eyes full of fear. He started struggling with all his might.
"They're my eyes now. After all, it's all your fault." Kanan said, driving the knife down.
Ezra screamed in pain withering in Kanan's grasp.
"Kid would you just wake up!" Kanan shouted.
Ezra's eyes flew open. He was sitting up in bed in someone's arms. His arms were pinned to his chest to keep him from hurting anyone. It only took him a moment to realize the person whose arms he was in was Kanan.
"No please!" Ezra begged struggling to be released from the man's hold.
"Ezra, calm down." Kanan tried to sooth.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Ezra apologized.
"What's wrong Ezra?" Kanan asked.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." Ezra sobbed.
Kanan ran a hand through Ezra's hair, trying to sooth the sobbing, terrified boy. "Shh, it's alright."
Ezra calmed down, still apologizing, but no longer struggling or sobbing.
"Ezra, what's the matter?" Kanan asked. "Did you have a nightmare?"
"I'm sorry." Ezra said.
"What are you sorry for?" Kanan asked.
"Your eyes, It's all my fault." Ezra responded. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean too."
"Ezra it's not your fault." Kanan soothed.
"But, but you said." Ezra started.
"No, Ezra, you listen." Kanan said. "You are in no way responsible for what happened. I never have, and never will blame you for what happened to my eyes."
Ezra was silent.
"Was that what your nightmare was? Was I blaming you for my eyes?" Kanan asked.
"You were going to rip my eyes for yourself for yourself too." Ezra added.
"I would never do that Ezra," Kanan promised. He continued to run his hand through Ezra's hair, repositioning his other arm, so it was more of a hug then pinning him.
"I don't deserve comfort," Ezra muttered. "You do, you have scars."
"You have scars to Ezra." Kanan responded. "You just can't see yours, but mental scars are just as bad, if not worse, than physical."
Ezra shifted so he could face Kanan. He took one look at Kanan's blindfold covered eyes before burying his face into Kanan's chest and sobbing.
"That's it Ezra," Kanan soothed, rubbing his Padawan's back. "Just let it all out. I'm right here."
"I'm sorry," Ezra apologized again.
"You have nothing to be sorry for." Kanan repeated.
Ezra calmed down.
"Do you want me to stay with you?" Kanan asked.
Ezra nodded.
Kanan didn't respond, he smirked when he realized Ezra gave a non verbal answer. "Use your words Ezra so I can hear you." He gently reminded.
"I'm sorry." Ezra said. "Yes, please stay."
"Alright, scoot over." Kanan smiled.
Ezra scooted over towards the edge of the bed, allowing Kanan to be on the wall side. Kanan laid down, Ezra following suit.
"Come here," Kanan said, opening his arm.
Ezra scooted over and cuddled into Kanan's chest, which Kanan promptly wrapped his arms around his back.
"It's okay," Kanan soothed. "Get some sleep. I'll be right here if you need me."
For the first time since Malachore, Ezra felt safe enough to sleep. As he drifted off he felt Kanan's gentle presences in his mind.
"I'll stop any nightmares." Kanan's mind whispered in his own.
And true to his word, every time a nightmare started, Kanan's soothing presences chased the nightmare away. For the first time in a while, Ezra had a peaceful night's sleep.