AN: Hellos to everyone! I think I'm starting a new drabble/songfic collection, dedicated to my favorite couple, Remus and Sirius! This first one is a songfic, to the song And So It Goes, by Billy Joel, my favorite person in the entire world. Hope you enjoy, and review! Give me some ideas of either wat songs i should do next, or ideas for lil drabbles and such...

Peace out and enjoy!
- Alex

And So It Goes
(Remus's POV)

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lover's past
Until a new one comes along

I never intended to fall in love with the white sheep of the Black family, let alone my best friend. I never intended to fall in love, period. My situation was much too dangerous, much too disturbing to have launched on some poor girl's shoulders. I'd keep the hurt and pain to myself, so that I would never hurt the ones I loved. I always wanted to lock my heart away, lock it so deep inside my frail, skinny, scarred body that no one could touch it.
I almost got away with it, too- until the Marauders and Sirius Black wheedled their way into my affections and burrowed so deep within my heart that I knew I could never stop loving them.
They were my first friends- I don't know what I'd ever do if I lost them.

I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense

I was always the quiet Marauder, the gentle one, the person you came to if you needed comforting or encouragement. Sirius was loud and outspoken and brash and headstrong and fiercely loyal and frankly, bloody stupid sometimes. Being complete and total opposites I never thought we would ever even become friends, let alone practically brothers. But for some reason, Sirius was drawn to my quiet, shy personality and we became close as two friends could possibly be. I was closest to Sirius out of all the Marauders- we were like two peas in a pod, never seen without the other.

I did the planning, Sirius did the talking. I never did like to talk much. I was always afraid I would say the wrong thing, and then Sirius and James and Peter and all the other wonderful things that had happened to me would disappear like the midnight stars the morning after a full moon.

And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes and so it goes
And so will you soon, I suppose

Sometimes I speculated that Sirius was bipolar. He could change moods in seconds, shedding them like he shed the expensive clothes that could have fed my family for almost a year. He had a tongue like knives, with words that pricked like thorns or could feel like rose petals. He would snap at James or Peter, but the next minute be best friends with them again. I was the only person Sirius never snapped at. I always just figured it was because Sirius and I got along so well, and because I never dared to openly defy Sirius like Peter and James.
I never knew what would happen if I did disagree with Sirius and argue with him. I supposed he would leave, grow tired of a back-talking sickly werewolf and move on to healthy, normal, human wizarding children.

But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break

I realized I was in love with Sirius in the summer of fifth year. Everythime Sirius would get a new girlfriend, my tattered heart would rip open just a little bit more. Everytime he'd break up with them because he knew I didn't like them, I'd fall more in love with the stupid boy.
To me, he was perfect. Always caring and protective towards me, full of life and love, always so careful and gentle after a full moon. Why did God curse me in this way? Not only was I a werewolf, but I was also gay and in love with my best friend.
I never told Sirius- I was afraid of his reaction. Would he hate me forever, leave me alone and friendless? I thought I had no chance with Sirius. He was as straight as Marlin's wand. I had handed my heart to my bestest friend, handed it to him in shattered bits and ripped up pieces because I couldn't help loving him. I gave Sirius Black my heart.
I would do anything for him, even though I thought my love was unrequited. No matter if he chose to love me back or rip my slashed heart apart more, I'd always love him.

And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

In the winter of fifth year, I experienced one of the worst transformations of my life. I truly believed I was going to die, so before I left to go to the hospital wing, I kissed Sirius right on the mouth, in front of James and Peter, then fled the room as fast as my pain-filled legs could manage.
I woke up in the hosiptal wing four days later with two broken legs, a cracked skull, broken scapula, and a ripped open stomach. To my surprise, Sirius was sitting beside my bed, hands clutching the bedsheets, and unreadable expression in his stormy grey eyes.
"Remy..." he began, and I was sure he was either going to start screaming at me or spectacularly abandon me as a friend.
He did neither.
He flung his arms around my neck, careful of the bandages, and crushed me to his chest.
"Why did you never tell me?" he had whispered, letting go of me slightly to cradle my head in his hands, thumbs stroking my cheekbones, grey eyes staring into wide gold. He kissed me then, just a gentle brush of lips, but to me it felt like heaven. My unrequited love wasn't unrequited any longer.

So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break

I never dreamed I would get this lucky. To have Sirius as both a friend and as my lover. Gentle, loving, full of life Sirius, who will kiss me while I'm reading and take hold of my hand during class and wrap his arms around me in the common room and let me rest in comfort against his chest. I never dreamed that Sirius would ever love me back, never dreamed that I would hear him whisper sweet "I love you"s and feel his perfect lips over mine or feel his warm hand wrapping itself around my frail one.
Sirius is the best thing that has ever happened to me, I'd always choose to be with him, be sitting next to him, lying next to him, sitting on him, just was long as I can be near him.
I know he feels the same way- after all, he did take my once ripped and broken heart and lovingly piece it back together, leaving pawprints of love in his wake.
He's always had my heart, but now it's truly his. I belong to him now- I can see it in the messages he'll send people. Laying his head in my lap in the common room, walking through the hallways with an arm wrapped snugly around my shoulders, in the sweet kisses he'll slather me with after i get out of the hospital wing. I'm his Remus, he's my Sirius.

And so it goes and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows

I'll always love Sirius, and I know he'll always love me back.