az: Because I wanted to write something close enough that you could think it's possible for ShotaroxWakana to exist, even barely... I probably failed at that. XD Sorry if I ended it a bit rushed.
Missing you
Written by honou-no-izzu aka Izzu
o
o
People said... that time would heal everything. I wished it was true...
It was about a year—well, almost. It was still several weeks more to a full year but it can still be considered a year.
A year since then...
A year since Philip had disappeared. Everyone that he had known had gotten used to not seeing him around so often. Then again, it was easier for them—well aside from those two—to do that. After all, they only thought that the reason that Philip was not around—was because he had been abroad. They would not get depressed about that, since surely he'd be back. Lucky them.
Then again, they did not know the real truth and he's not telling. Regardless, he would have certainly be laughed at if he ever confided to them about missing Philip dreadfully.
Well, perhaps all of this was for the better. It was hard enough for him to ignore all those sad looks Terui and Akiko had been giving him whenever he fell to habit of calling Philip on just about anything... or whatever. It's not as if he could turn off his feelings just like that. And Philip... they had been together for so long, since that day. Since Begin's night.
How could he get used to not having him around any more?
Shotaro sighed.
Ah... perhaps it was for the best.
It was not like the pain of his loss would be going away any time soon. He had continued paying his visit to Wakana-hime ever since she had woken up. Every chance he could, even if she did not welcome his visit any more than he would have wished. She was the only relative Philip had left—he didn't know what happened to Shroud, she seemed to have disappeared from the face of the planet—and he at least wanted to watch over Wakana.
Philip would have wanted that.
But perhaps he had been overdoing it, he had tried too hard. Almost every time he had wanted to grab Wakana's attention, to engage in a proper conversation; he had brought up Philip. Sometimes he retold some of the past memories he had about Philip. Sometimes he made up things that Philip could have done if he really was studying abroad. The effort had always brought him close to tears but he always tried his best to hide it.
He hoped she hadn't notice it. But the fact that Wakana-hime still kept to herself, might have been for the best. It would certainly be hard to still continue keeping the truth away from her if she had been other than that.
Then again, it was not like Wakana-hime to notice anything about him, whatever it was that he was feeling. That would have been... strangely awkward.
It was ironic. He used to fancy her secretly, even before Philip started following her show. And then, the feeling went up and down for him ever since meeting her personally.
He had to admit as well that he had been slightly disappointed when Wakana started to pay more attention towards Philip-well considering they were siblings, it should have not be a surprise. Still... for him to be watching over her now, it seemed as if Heaven were mocking at him.
Heh. He didn't even know for sure what sort of feeling he had for her now, and he wished... he wouldn't have to know what thoughts Wakana-hime had about him.
Even if his feelings were one-sided, he wouldn't want to see Wakana-hime cry again...
xxx
Shotaro sighed.
"W-Wakana-san... wouldn't it have been nice if you could smile again? You could go back to doing your radio shows again. I think we should be able to work out somethin—"
"Why should I? I'm still a criminal in your eyes, isn't it—"
"Wakana-san, you're not—"
"Then, what about these policemen guarding me?" she cried as she pointed towards the female officer nearby as well as the unseen ones stationed all over the hospital. She had wanted to scream some more but Shotaro's next line stopped her.
"Wakana-san...you used to be gentler than this. I'm not asking for too much—I don't want to treat you like any other bad people out there, because I know you're not like them. You're Philip's older sister, the only one still among the living. I don't know about Shroud or Sonozaki Fumine—your mother, but for all I know; you're the only other relative Philip has now! I don't want to see you hurt."
"Aren't you tired of saying that over and over again to me?"
He sighed. "I had to admit to you, I missed hearing you sing. There was something comforting about your presence that I—I missed your Healing Princess program. And Philip also loved your songs... he used to have this cute little dance move he did when he listened to your songs. He really loved your song, Naturally. You sounded so happy during those times—I hate seeing the you now being the total opposite of what you used to be. I know Philip would be sad to see you like this, he would want you to be happy again—he wouldn't be able to sit around doing nothing if he knows you're like this. I—Wakana-san...!"
Wakana frowned as she noted the change in Shotaro's voice as she turned around.
"Hidari Shotaro, why were you crying?"
Shotaro gasped despite himself before hastily wiping away his tears. "I'm not crying! Some dust just happened to get into my eyes just as I was talking... I—I need to get back to the Agency—"
"Hidari Shotaro!"
Shotaro stopped in his tracks as he heard Wakana rose from her bed.
"Where's Raito? Why doesn't he come here to see me but sends you instead? What happened to him?"
His heart seemed to stop. For a moment he almost thought that Wakana had seen through him. Realizing... no, knowing that in truth, the reason her brother was not in here with the two of them in this small hospital room was because his soul had returned to Earth. Was it something he said just now? Or... oh wait!
Wakana-hime did not know about that lie they made about Philip going overseas or anything else related—Shotaro heaved a sigh of relief. He tried to laugh but failed halfway as he did not turn around towards her.
"Oh that... huh?" he asked as he put on his fedora. He sighed again. "Philip's gone overseas—and uh, he told me to watch over you—"
"Liar. You don't act as if Raito had only been abroad—"
Shotaro bit his lips. Philip, keeping promises to you is like the hardest thing you've ever given me...
"He is," he said before turning around. "Philip's fine."
Wakana frowned. "Stop lying. Tell me the truth!"
If this was just any other day with some other people, he could have had made up something on the spot right to appease her. But right now... he couldn't!
"I... I... I had to go now, I'll give your regards to Philip later—"
"Hidari Shotaro!"
Wakana grabbed his hands as she stared desperately at him. She had looked so alarmed... he knew his heart would shatter to see her cry in anguish. Without thinking he pried her hands of his own and walked out of the room in a hurry. He didn't even pause to look at her. Already he was feeling very dreadful. He sobbed softly the moment he found a hidden corner to just sit and cry.
Idiot Philip. I don't care if you'd think I'm back to being half-boiled now.
His ears perked as he heard some kind of noise... and beeping behind him; followed by a very familiar presence. Shotaro turned around as he saw no one, nothing. He hastily wiped away the tears that had started to fall. He sniffled.
"Silly me. Now I'm being the idiot. Perhaps I should take a walk elsewhere... oh maybe, I'll go to a petshop! A cat sounds good right now. I should call it Phi or Pie or something..." he continued to mutter to himself as Shotaro exited the place.
Well, at least right now... he was trying his best to hang on to the things he still have. Even if chances that time would never be able to heal the empty hole in his heart as it was now. He would hang on.
Because that was the only hard-boiled thing for him to do...