VA isn't mine, and the charecters aren't either.
Rpov
They tell you, you can't have it all. They are lying.
They also tell you your first love will always have a place in your heart. They are lying.
My first love was Dimitri Belikov. He was badass, handsome and well a god. School girl me was about to swoon at even the slightest chance of being close to him. Early twenties me was so hooked on him she couldn't possibly hate him even with all the hurt he caused her. Now, at twenty-six, I wasn't impressed. Dimitri had aged well, I'd give him that, from the few times I had seen him anyway. At thirty-three he was still a hunk. His personality? Not so much. The god I fell in love with was gone. Dimitri was now a loyal lapdog to his charge, Christian Ozera. I would have expected him to want to make a name for himself at one point, god knows I gave him plenty of opportunities, but Dimitri seemed hellbent on not leaving his charges side. It was a pity, really, and it made me a tiny bit sick to think about.
I hadn't talked to Christian since his aunt tried to kill me. It seem to be an unspoken period to our friendship. Of course that made it slightly difficult to see Lissa, one would think, but I found that every time I came to visit he was very conveniently out of town. How the man who shot his aunt somehow still made it on the friend list I wasn't sure but whatever.
Lissa and I was close as ever, on the other hand. We talked everyday on the phone and had sleepovers all the time. I expected that to pass as we got older but somehow, girl-time was even more essential now, especially when I was traveling so much. It made it a bliss to come home every time. Well her and Rufus both.
Rufus lost his wife last year to cancer. It was a terrible time for him, and sadly I hadn't been able to be there for him. Since then he had a relapse into his bachelor ways. To be frank he was a dog these days. Drinking, hitting on women, partying all the time. I thought men his age went to bed at like eight but boy was I wrong. I felt bad, maybe if I had been there to help him it wouldn't be like this but every time I tried to talk to him about it he turned on me and accused me of trying to pull him down, so I eventually just let him do his thing. It was fun to be a part of however. The alcohol and the parties, but honestly? It was a young man's game and I was worried about him.
Talking about young men, Adrian was my rock these days. It was two years ago in Wien over a bottle of wine that we had decided to engage in a professional relationship. I had more places to be than I could catch planes, and then as if sent from heaven came Adrian. Straight out of an Ivy league with his second degree in, god bless him, public relations. So now Adrian was my spin doctor and partner. He took care of everything I couldn't and kept us on top of everything. And at night he kept on top, if you know what I mean.
As for my project Jesse had turned out to be a valuable ally and he had made everything so much easier. He found his call making education universal and I honestly never thought I'd say this but Jesse was like a real life superhero, making dreams come true. He ended up making amends to Mia and they married six months ago, so now Mia and I got to see each other all the time as I often worked with Jesse. Mia was the only person who knew Adrian and I was more than just partners and for now we liked it that way. I wasn't sure we were going to be a forever kind of thing and we liked our privacy.
As I said. They tell you, you can't have it all. They are lying.
And that was my life, until one day Rufus called: Tatiana had passed away in her chambers. The exact cause of death was uncertain, but he was guessing it might be a stroke. I felt it as a blow to the chest. Tatianna had been an important support to my work. A new monarch might put and end to it all, hell I might even be thrown off the council. We discussed tactics and I promised to return to court as fast as I could then we hang up. I looked at Adrian who was also on the phone with someone. He looked shaken and I could only guess he heard as well. He said goodbye to his mother and hang up then looked at me.
"That was my mother…" he started and I saw the tears in his eyes.
"I am so sorry Adrian." I told him and fell to my knees in front of him grasping his knees. He started sobbing hard and clung to me, taking me in his embrace as he broke down in tears. I felt a little sad myself, Tatiana had been a friend in the end and I had hoped to serve her as my queen for many years to come. I don't know how long we sat there but it felt like forever before we finally let go of one another and started packing. We were going back to court, immediately. I texted my assistant Amy and let her know to cancel all of my meetings.
"Are you okay?" I asked Adrian as I sat beside him on the plane and took his hand. He looked at me blankly and I saw how exhausted he was from the breakdown.
"No, but I will be." He promised and gave my hand a squeeze. I smiled at him and then picked up the fly magazine as the plane took off. We hadn't been ready for this but we had to manage anyway.