Love, Love It's Everywhere...And I'm Hating It
EH! EH HEH-HEH-HEH! The first full length yaoi thing I do is a parody...-_-
DD: But it's fun!
Cell: *Shakes his head* Shut it DD.
DD: But just what is this a parody of anyway? Well it's a parody on yaoi in its self. We make fun of all the aspects of it and why? Because we CAN.
Meaning that this is a satire if you will. And a fun one at that! Hah! I am ruler of all pointless humor!
DD: .....Yeah, right.
I am! You just give a summary!
DD: Summary: Trunks has a crush on Goten, who has a crush on Piccolo who just wants to be left the hell alone but these people can't except that and relentlessly chase him around instead. Oh yeah, you KNOW this is stupid.
Cell: Let the madness begin.
Begin the madness!
_______________________________________________________________
It was a bright sunny day. Really, really sunny and really, really bright. It was so bright you could toss a quarter in the air, shout "TAIYOKEN!!!" and blind people in 3 different countries. It was that bright and it was only 10 in the morning, the sun wasn't even at its fullest shine yet, but you could still blind people in 3 countries with a damn quarter...but I digress. On this day, a familiar spike haired form took a dip in a pond and came back out shrieking like a banshee because a fish had bitten his butt...which was his own fault for going skinny dipping in a Piranha-pond. He stopped, dropped and rolled and the fish finally let go, leaving marks in the boy's skinny hide. The same boy quickly put his clothes back on and decided there were other bodies of water he could jack off in. He walked across the field back to his house muttering words so evil they shan't be repeated here because I'm too lazy to write them up. Just before he reached the door, it swung open, smacking him to the ground in the process. In the doorway stood another spikey haired form with a fish in his mouth and a chicken leg in his left hand. He looked around before looking on the ground where his son lay clutching his face.
"Uh Goten? What are you doing down there?"
"Just bleeding to death dad."
"Oh. Well, when your finished hurry in the house. It's almost dinner time!" Goku said and scattered back in to the house. 2 seconds after he left, Goten fought the urge to walk inside and blow his idiot father to smithereens. He instead settled to just get up and go inside and maybe put some Neosporin on his face and check for internal bleeding...you know. All that good stuff. Goten opened the door and walked straight up to the bathroom, put alcohol on his face, a bit of Neosporin and some aftershave which had suddenly appeared to hide the smell of the alcohol before checking himself for brain damage. Then he went and spanked the dolphin for a bit before joining his family downstairs. His brother Gohan and his ho—er I mean his lovely wife Videl and their child Pan had opted to join them that night meaning that he'd half to deal with half of his mother ChiChi's SUPERB cooking and half of Videl's CRAP for lack of better term.
He prayed that God would save him.
Half way through dinner, just as Goten was about to slit his wrist with a butter knife (it was meatloaf night *shudder*) someone did save him and technically, it was God...sorta. At the exact moment as Goten was about to give his "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE" cry, Piccolo—of all people—crashed through the roof with such style that only he could pull it off, with his cape fluttering dramatically and stuff.
"Some one has revived Furiza and Cooler and they're on a rampage!" he shouted. From that moment, Goten was SMITTEN. We're talking S-M-I-T-T-E-N. Not because Piccolo had to be the HAWTEST green thing to walk this good, green earth, but because the Nameksei-jin had saved his life without knowing it. Yes, Goten fell in love with the Namek because he was a reflex move away from killing himself and Piccolo so happened to bust in. Coincidence? I think not. Oh and part it was because, let's face it: Piccolo is as cool as the Sahara is hot. Goku, Gohan and Goten stood up straight and blasted off through the roof, leaving their women in the dust.
(IN SOME RANDOM PART OF WEST CITY)
Trunks sat in the tub contemplating whether or not to risk jerking-off in the tub, seeing as how his father had banished him to bathe outside in a wash tub for the last time he tried. It wasn't the fact that he was whacking off but what he was whacking off to, which so happened to be an image of his beloved Son Goten. To Trunks Goten was the second most beautiful thing on this planet, the first being himself and the third being David Lee Roth when he was younger with young Sammy Hagar coming in a close 4th. But second was good enough for the young demi-saiya-jin to whack off to and stalk Goten for long periods of time with a video camera and a tape recorder. Yes, it's that bad. As our purple-haired warrior rolled the thought over in his head, someone shot a ki blast that narrowly missed his little metal washtub. Trunks shrieked like a girl before composing him self and shouting in his highest, manliest voice, "Who goes there?!"
"Oh sorry Trunks!" Goten, the object of Trunks' affection, called from the roof of a Capsule Corp. building.
"GAH! Goten, what was that for?!"
"Well, Furiza and Cooler are attacking the city and I thought you were Cooler! Why the hell are you taking a bath outside anyway?"
"Uh, I, uh—"
"I don't wanna know. You should probably get out now!" Goten called as an explosion sounded in the background.
"Gotta go save the earth now! Be back later!" Goten shouted before taking off in the direction of the explosion. Back on the ground, Trunks sighed dreamily.
"Oh my dear Goten, off to save the planet again! My love is so MANLY!" Trunks squealed before a massive nosebleed took over his nose and reddened his bath water.
(ELSEWHERE)
Goku bravely fought off Cooler and Vegeta wailed on Furiza Saiya-jin style while Goten, Gohan, and Piccolo sat in law chairs drinking Pina Coladas and waiting for the rain.
"Sooo...what's been up Piccolo?" Gohan asked flippantly as he pulled a Strawberry Daiquiri from nowhere. Piccolo slugged back his bottle of Evian and shrugged.
"Not a lot." Was the reply. While Gohan struck up conversation with his friend and teacher, Goten stared lustfully at Piccolo over a mug of Bailey's. Before long, Furiza and Cooler had been sent to hell AGAIN and Goku and Vegeta came back down to earth.
"...I like your nerve!" Vegeta shouted as he noticed the 3 non participants lounge back and enjoy the show.
"Ah give 'em a break Vegeta! It's not like we gave them a chance to fight! Just where did you come from anyway? Shouldn't you be molesting Trunks or something?" At this comment, Vegeta pimp-slapped the taste out of Goku's mouth. Goku could feel the spit fly out of his mouth when Vegeta slapped him and heard Goten, Piccolo, and even Gohan who all but worshipped him laugh at his pain.
"Ow...I don't think that's very funny!" Goku said around a mouth full of blood.
"It wasn't! We're just laughing like girls 'cause we can!" Gohan shouted and everyone immediately stopped laughing. Goku quirked an eye brow and shook his head slowly.
(2 DAYS LATER)
2 days after the whole Cooler/Furiza incident, Goten was back to his old ways, only he had a new image to jack-off to and that was to none other than a naked Piccolo. Goten didn't know why, all he knew is that he desperately wanted this Nameksei-jin...but it wasn't like he couldn't settle for jerking off to his image. Or maybe he could just confess his love to him while jacking-off. Both would probably get him laid and that was basically all he wanted because believe it or not, one could actually get tired of whacking off to their beloved object of affection. After 2 hours of a masturbation-marathon Goten finally let it go and went in to the bathroom to wash his hands. As he did so, someone knocked on the bathroom door.
"What is it?"
"Hey Goten, why is Trunks jerking off out side your window?" At this Goten froze, thinking 'Trunks is WHAT?!'
"Dad...call the cops." Goten said shakily as Goku shrugged and went downstairs to do so. When Goku had gotten down stairs, Goten ran to his room, threw open the window and shouted in to the night, "IF I CATCH YOU HERE AGAIN YOUR DEAD TRUNKS!"
(AT CAPSULE CORP)
At Capsule Corp, Trunks was suffering from the grandmother of all nosebleeds. Bulma hovered over him worriedly while Vegeta counted how many pints of blood Trunks was loosing.
"That's 2! 2 pints of blood, ah-ah-ah!" Vegeta laughed while son stared up at the ceiling in a daze as blood poured profusely from his nose. Apparently the sight of his darling Goten jacking off had been too much and Trunks not only orgasmed 18 times in the course of 2 hours without touching himself as Goku had said, but he had also has 2 small nosebleeds and was in the middle of the "big one".
"Oh God, why won't the blood stop?!" Bulma shrieked as more and more blood streamed down the sides of Trunks' face from each nostril.
"Waah...Goten..." the purple haired boy gurgled. Bulma, in an act of desperation, simply pinched Trunks' nose and held it for 2 minutes. When she let go, Trunks' nose had stopped bleeding and Trunks had stopped breathing. Bulma stormed angrily out of the room and Vegeta dragged Trunks in to a vat of ice that had appeared out of no where.
(SON RESIDENCE)
Goten steamed over having Trunks see him spank the monkey when Goku mentioned Piccolo's name for no reason, causing Goten to forget about the whole incident and his penis get rock hard for the 30th time that day. Goten made a mental note to himself to check in to Masturbaters Anonymous.
"Dad?"
"What is it son?"
"Nothing, I just felt like saying Dad."
"Oh."
"Dad?"
"Whaaat?"
"Can I go out to see Piccolo?"
"Why?"
"To confess my undying love for him."
"Oh, well go ahead."
"Thanks." Goten said as he skipped out of the door whistling "Over the Rainbow". Meanwhile, Trunks began tailing him with a video camera and a tape recorder.
'Where are you going oh Goten, my darling Goten?!' Trunks wondered, making sure that he stayed out of site. He was lucky to have gotten out of that vat of ice Vegeta had put him in for no reason. Trunks trailed Goten to some desert outside of Mt. Paozu where he heard Piccolo usually trained.
"RIIIICOLAAAA!" Goten shouted before spinning around like a girl and falling unconsciously on the desert ground. Trunks raised his eyebrows at the sight and considered maybe helping his beloved when Piccolo appeared out of nowhere. He danced a bit of ballet around Goten's body as an instrumental version of "Leave That Thing Alone" played. Trunks, who was quite frightened at this point, began backing away but then Piccolo picked up Goten's body and they both vanished in to thin air.
"Okay, that was damned weird."
"I'll say!" Goku said, suddenly appearing at Trunks' side. Trunks just blinked before putting his VC back in its capsule and running away. Goku shrugged and ran the other way.
_______________________________________________________________
So...how was that? Weird I know...but it get's better! I think.
Cell: Heh...feedback is greatly appreciated.
DD: Yes-ah!
EH! EH HEH-HEH-HEH! The first full length yaoi thing I do is a parody...-_-
DD: But it's fun!
Cell: *Shakes his head* Shut it DD.
DD: But just what is this a parody of anyway? Well it's a parody on yaoi in its self. We make fun of all the aspects of it and why? Because we CAN.
Meaning that this is a satire if you will. And a fun one at that! Hah! I am ruler of all pointless humor!
DD: .....Yeah, right.
I am! You just give a summary!
DD: Summary: Trunks has a crush on Goten, who has a crush on Piccolo who just wants to be left the hell alone but these people can't except that and relentlessly chase him around instead. Oh yeah, you KNOW this is stupid.
Cell: Let the madness begin.
Begin the madness!
_______________________________________________________________
It was a bright sunny day. Really, really sunny and really, really bright. It was so bright you could toss a quarter in the air, shout "TAIYOKEN!!!" and blind people in 3 different countries. It was that bright and it was only 10 in the morning, the sun wasn't even at its fullest shine yet, but you could still blind people in 3 countries with a damn quarter...but I digress. On this day, a familiar spike haired form took a dip in a pond and came back out shrieking like a banshee because a fish had bitten his butt...which was his own fault for going skinny dipping in a Piranha-pond. He stopped, dropped and rolled and the fish finally let go, leaving marks in the boy's skinny hide. The same boy quickly put his clothes back on and decided there were other bodies of water he could jack off in. He walked across the field back to his house muttering words so evil they shan't be repeated here because I'm too lazy to write them up. Just before he reached the door, it swung open, smacking him to the ground in the process. In the doorway stood another spikey haired form with a fish in his mouth and a chicken leg in his left hand. He looked around before looking on the ground where his son lay clutching his face.
"Uh Goten? What are you doing down there?"
"Just bleeding to death dad."
"Oh. Well, when your finished hurry in the house. It's almost dinner time!" Goku said and scattered back in to the house. 2 seconds after he left, Goten fought the urge to walk inside and blow his idiot father to smithereens. He instead settled to just get up and go inside and maybe put some Neosporin on his face and check for internal bleeding...you know. All that good stuff. Goten opened the door and walked straight up to the bathroom, put alcohol on his face, a bit of Neosporin and some aftershave which had suddenly appeared to hide the smell of the alcohol before checking himself for brain damage. Then he went and spanked the dolphin for a bit before joining his family downstairs. His brother Gohan and his ho—er I mean his lovely wife Videl and their child Pan had opted to join them that night meaning that he'd half to deal with half of his mother ChiChi's SUPERB cooking and half of Videl's CRAP for lack of better term.
He prayed that God would save him.
Half way through dinner, just as Goten was about to slit his wrist with a butter knife (it was meatloaf night *shudder*) someone did save him and technically, it was God...sorta. At the exact moment as Goten was about to give his "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE" cry, Piccolo—of all people—crashed through the roof with such style that only he could pull it off, with his cape fluttering dramatically and stuff.
"Some one has revived Furiza and Cooler and they're on a rampage!" he shouted. From that moment, Goten was SMITTEN. We're talking S-M-I-T-T-E-N. Not because Piccolo had to be the HAWTEST green thing to walk this good, green earth, but because the Nameksei-jin had saved his life without knowing it. Yes, Goten fell in love with the Namek because he was a reflex move away from killing himself and Piccolo so happened to bust in. Coincidence? I think not. Oh and part it was because, let's face it: Piccolo is as cool as the Sahara is hot. Goku, Gohan and Goten stood up straight and blasted off through the roof, leaving their women in the dust.
(IN SOME RANDOM PART OF WEST CITY)
Trunks sat in the tub contemplating whether or not to risk jerking-off in the tub, seeing as how his father had banished him to bathe outside in a wash tub for the last time he tried. It wasn't the fact that he was whacking off but what he was whacking off to, which so happened to be an image of his beloved Son Goten. To Trunks Goten was the second most beautiful thing on this planet, the first being himself and the third being David Lee Roth when he was younger with young Sammy Hagar coming in a close 4th. But second was good enough for the young demi-saiya-jin to whack off to and stalk Goten for long periods of time with a video camera and a tape recorder. Yes, it's that bad. As our purple-haired warrior rolled the thought over in his head, someone shot a ki blast that narrowly missed his little metal washtub. Trunks shrieked like a girl before composing him self and shouting in his highest, manliest voice, "Who goes there?!"
"Oh sorry Trunks!" Goten, the object of Trunks' affection, called from the roof of a Capsule Corp. building.
"GAH! Goten, what was that for?!"
"Well, Furiza and Cooler are attacking the city and I thought you were Cooler! Why the hell are you taking a bath outside anyway?"
"Uh, I, uh—"
"I don't wanna know. You should probably get out now!" Goten called as an explosion sounded in the background.
"Gotta go save the earth now! Be back later!" Goten shouted before taking off in the direction of the explosion. Back on the ground, Trunks sighed dreamily.
"Oh my dear Goten, off to save the planet again! My love is so MANLY!" Trunks squealed before a massive nosebleed took over his nose and reddened his bath water.
(ELSEWHERE)
Goku bravely fought off Cooler and Vegeta wailed on Furiza Saiya-jin style while Goten, Gohan, and Piccolo sat in law chairs drinking Pina Coladas and waiting for the rain.
"Sooo...what's been up Piccolo?" Gohan asked flippantly as he pulled a Strawberry Daiquiri from nowhere. Piccolo slugged back his bottle of Evian and shrugged.
"Not a lot." Was the reply. While Gohan struck up conversation with his friend and teacher, Goten stared lustfully at Piccolo over a mug of Bailey's. Before long, Furiza and Cooler had been sent to hell AGAIN and Goku and Vegeta came back down to earth.
"...I like your nerve!" Vegeta shouted as he noticed the 3 non participants lounge back and enjoy the show.
"Ah give 'em a break Vegeta! It's not like we gave them a chance to fight! Just where did you come from anyway? Shouldn't you be molesting Trunks or something?" At this comment, Vegeta pimp-slapped the taste out of Goku's mouth. Goku could feel the spit fly out of his mouth when Vegeta slapped him and heard Goten, Piccolo, and even Gohan who all but worshipped him laugh at his pain.
"Ow...I don't think that's very funny!" Goku said around a mouth full of blood.
"It wasn't! We're just laughing like girls 'cause we can!" Gohan shouted and everyone immediately stopped laughing. Goku quirked an eye brow and shook his head slowly.
(2 DAYS LATER)
2 days after the whole Cooler/Furiza incident, Goten was back to his old ways, only he had a new image to jack-off to and that was to none other than a naked Piccolo. Goten didn't know why, all he knew is that he desperately wanted this Nameksei-jin...but it wasn't like he couldn't settle for jerking off to his image. Or maybe he could just confess his love to him while jacking-off. Both would probably get him laid and that was basically all he wanted because believe it or not, one could actually get tired of whacking off to their beloved object of affection. After 2 hours of a masturbation-marathon Goten finally let it go and went in to the bathroom to wash his hands. As he did so, someone knocked on the bathroom door.
"What is it?"
"Hey Goten, why is Trunks jerking off out side your window?" At this Goten froze, thinking 'Trunks is WHAT?!'
"Dad...call the cops." Goten said shakily as Goku shrugged and went downstairs to do so. When Goku had gotten down stairs, Goten ran to his room, threw open the window and shouted in to the night, "IF I CATCH YOU HERE AGAIN YOUR DEAD TRUNKS!"
(AT CAPSULE CORP)
At Capsule Corp, Trunks was suffering from the grandmother of all nosebleeds. Bulma hovered over him worriedly while Vegeta counted how many pints of blood Trunks was loosing.
"That's 2! 2 pints of blood, ah-ah-ah!" Vegeta laughed while son stared up at the ceiling in a daze as blood poured profusely from his nose. Apparently the sight of his darling Goten jacking off had been too much and Trunks not only orgasmed 18 times in the course of 2 hours without touching himself as Goku had said, but he had also has 2 small nosebleeds and was in the middle of the "big one".
"Oh God, why won't the blood stop?!" Bulma shrieked as more and more blood streamed down the sides of Trunks' face from each nostril.
"Waah...Goten..." the purple haired boy gurgled. Bulma, in an act of desperation, simply pinched Trunks' nose and held it for 2 minutes. When she let go, Trunks' nose had stopped bleeding and Trunks had stopped breathing. Bulma stormed angrily out of the room and Vegeta dragged Trunks in to a vat of ice that had appeared out of no where.
(SON RESIDENCE)
Goten steamed over having Trunks see him spank the monkey when Goku mentioned Piccolo's name for no reason, causing Goten to forget about the whole incident and his penis get rock hard for the 30th time that day. Goten made a mental note to himself to check in to Masturbaters Anonymous.
"Dad?"
"What is it son?"
"Nothing, I just felt like saying Dad."
"Oh."
"Dad?"
"Whaaat?"
"Can I go out to see Piccolo?"
"Why?"
"To confess my undying love for him."
"Oh, well go ahead."
"Thanks." Goten said as he skipped out of the door whistling "Over the Rainbow". Meanwhile, Trunks began tailing him with a video camera and a tape recorder.
'Where are you going oh Goten, my darling Goten?!' Trunks wondered, making sure that he stayed out of site. He was lucky to have gotten out of that vat of ice Vegeta had put him in for no reason. Trunks trailed Goten to some desert outside of Mt. Paozu where he heard Piccolo usually trained.
"RIIIICOLAAAA!" Goten shouted before spinning around like a girl and falling unconsciously on the desert ground. Trunks raised his eyebrows at the sight and considered maybe helping his beloved when Piccolo appeared out of nowhere. He danced a bit of ballet around Goten's body as an instrumental version of "Leave That Thing Alone" played. Trunks, who was quite frightened at this point, began backing away but then Piccolo picked up Goten's body and they both vanished in to thin air.
"Okay, that was damned weird."
"I'll say!" Goku said, suddenly appearing at Trunks' side. Trunks just blinked before putting his VC back in its capsule and running away. Goku shrugged and ran the other way.
_______________________________________________________________
So...how was that? Weird I know...but it get's better! I think.
Cell: Heh...feedback is greatly appreciated.
DD: Yes-ah!