You told him that you had feelings for him. You told him that he means everything to you. You even told him that you would do anything for him. But Steve couldn't decide if he wanted to be with you or if he wanted to be with Sharon. Sharon Carter was everything you thought you weren't. She was beautiful, had a great personality and she was an amazing agent. So when Steve chose her over you, you were heart broken.
Ever since then you stopped talking to him unless you absolutely had to, which was only a couple missions. During those missions, you would work closer to Nat than him. You had sat next to Nat and Clint in the quinjet to make sure you didn't hear how wonderful Sharon was or what their latest exploits were. He obviously didn't notice that you were distancing yourself from him when everyone else could tell.
You had been sent on a mission with Nat, Clint and Tony that happened to be in Russia. You had a bad feeling about this one and on your way to the destination, you made a video for Steve. As everyone got off the jet, you had sat the DVD on Nat's seat with Steve's name on it.
"You ok there, (Y/n)?" Tony was like a brother to you and he was there for you when Steve rejected you.
"I'm fine." You lied, you had somehow that this was going to be your last mission. "Let's go kick some HYDRA ass." You pulled your gun out of the holster on your thigh, cocking it.
Tony took off in his suit as Clint took to the highest building. You and Nat were on the ground fighting off every agent that came at the two of you. Clint and Tony took out several agents as did you and Nat. Tony was able to get inside the building they set up their HQ and downloaded all their intel.
Just when you thought you had won, an agent came from nowhere aiming at Nat. You shoved Nat and ending up getting shot yourself. The bullet went through your left lung and through your heart. Nat was next to you within seconds.
"Stay with me (Y/n). Fuck! Tony, (Y/n)'s been hit." She looked down at you, willing you to stay alive. You had never seen the assassin cry until now.
"Nat. I love all of you. Give Steve the DVD, please." You had blood spilling from your mouth slower than from your side and chest.
"You have to stay with me, (Y/n)." You could tell she was trying to keep it together, you were like a sister to her and she didn't want to lose you. "Fucking hell."
Before Tony could get to you, you died in Nat's arms. Clint had just made it to you just as your last breath left your body. All of them were your family and you would have taken that bullet for any of them, even Steve.
No one said a word as Tony picked you up and carried your lifeless body to the jet. No one said anything as they made their way back to the tower. Your death was a hard hit to the team. Wanda had a hard time controlling her emotions which caused her to have a hard time controlling her powers, Sam wasn't his usual happy-joking mood, Tony and Bruce stayed in the lab only coming out for what missions they did, and Bucky took it really hard. Bucky stayed in his room keeping to himself and refused to go on any mission for god knows how long. Nat and Clint were hit the hardest, neither of them talked to anyone but only on missions where they had to. Steve was clearly oblivious to the fact that you were gone.
He was so wrapped up in Sharon and being Captain America, that he didn't notice you were gone. Then one day, a couple months after you died, he walked into the living room of the tower. He was looking for you. He started to really miss spending time with you, he even missed just being around you. He only recently realized he'd been missing you for months. What no one knew was that he started missing you after you stopped talking to him like you use to, after you started sitting with Clint and Nat on the quinjet, and after you stopped volunteering for a lot of missions he would lead.
"Hey Clint, Nat, have ether of you seen (Y/n)? I haven't seen or heard from her in a while." Both of them looked up at him, hurt flashed through their eyes. Clint never got up but Nat, Nat did.
Nat got up from her seat on the couch, she walked past Steve, pausing for a moment. "Follow me Steve." She continued towards her room with Steve hot on her tail. Steve stopped at her door as she walked in and dug through one of her dresser drawers. Once she found the DVD she was supposed to give Steve but never did. "Here, watch this and you'll get your answer of where (Y/n) is at." Nat shoved the disc into his chest. She went to walk back out to the living room but stopped when she felt Steve's hand on her arm.
"What is your problem, Natasha?" He looked mad at the actions of the former Russian Assassin.
"Watch that" she pointed to the DVD "and then you'll understand." She walked away from Steve.
Steve walked to one of the board rooms, looking down at the DVD in his hands that had his name on it in your handwriting. He put the DVD into the computer in the room and he pressed play. You had popped up on the screen. To him you were always beautiful, smart and amazing.
"Steve. If you're watching this, that means Nat finally gave you this. It also means that you just noticed that I'm not around." You take a deep breath.
"If you haven't noticed, the team hasn't been themselves for a couple months. Tony and Bruce probably haven't left the lab, Wanda probably can't control her emotions, Sam probably isn't his normal happy-joking self, Bucky probably hasn't been out of his room along with not going on missions because he doesn't want his emotions to get the best of him, Clint and Nat, well" you looked down at your hands "they are probably taking this the hardest by not really talking to too many people. God, I don't even want to think about how Thor will take this."
"The reason for the teams' behavior is because on my last mission, which happens to be the one I'm on now, I died."
Steve felt a sharp pain in his chest when the words finally sunk in.
"I don't want you to blame yourself for what happened. My death won't be on your hands." You sat there messing with your hands.
"I have always loved you, Steve. From the moment we met and even when I distanced myself from, I still loved you. All I wanted was for you to be happy, even if it was with someone else like Sharon. She is and was everything I'm not. She's beautiful, she has a great personality, even a better agent than I was, and now she has you."
"All I ask is to give the team time and their space, especially Clint, Tony, and Nat. More so Nat." You tried to keep yourself from tearing up. "This is and was my team for this mission. They are the ones who will and have taken this the hardest of everyone."
Steve could feel a burning sensation in his eyes as tears threatened to spill from his eyes.
"I'm going to guess that no one told you about what happened is because you have spent so much time with Sharon. I'm glad that you have someone in your life that makes you happy, even if it wasn't me." You looked right at Steve or it felt like to him that you were staring into his eyes. "I will always love you, Steve. I couldn't be with you in this life, I'll be waiting for you in the next. In the words of our dearest Thor, I'll meet you in Valhalla."
The screen went black and Steve just sat there with his hand holding his chin. He never notice that Nat had walked into the room and saw the last little bit of the video until he looked away from the screen.
"How did it happen?" He asked her without even looking at her.
"She saw a stray HYDRA agent aiming his gun at me, shoved me out of the way and she ended up getting shot. She saved my life, I tried to save her but with how the bullet went through her there was nothing any of us could do." She looked at him, she could tell he was hurting. He was now regretting choosing Sharon over you. "Before you ask, she was shot through her left side. The bullet went through her left lung and through her heart."
He finally looked up at her, not knowing what to say. He sat there for god knows how long. Nat turned to leave the room.
She stopped at the door and turned to look back at him. "She always loved you."