This is done because I need practising with first person (I'm going to have a test for creative writing.)

Anyway this hasn't been proof read because I was too lazy to ask someone. Anyway I hope you enjoyed it and if you don't, don't kill me. I still have to do my test.

Btw: this is AU + the title doesn't really connect with the story.. kinda but not really. I just running out of titles...

Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis is not mine.

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Run… Run… RUN! That's all that I could think of, running as fast as I could to reach that place. After hearing the news about him, I couldn't stop myself from running to that place. Running as fast as my legs could and ignoring the pain that I was having. The trip that usually takes a short time seems like forever.

As I arrive in front of the large doors, I didn't realize I was breathing very heavily from the exhaustion and fear. Slowly pushing the door open with my trembling hand, I hear the sound of a woman weeping. Opening the door, I could see crowd of peoples wearing armours, crowding the place, some were even injured. They all hiding the view that I don't want to see.

"Fuji."

I heard my friend Eiji called my name with mixed tones of surprises and sadness. Ignoring him, I keep on walking to where the crowd is until Oishi, who was standing next to him stop me.

"What are you doing here? How's your injury?" Oishi asked worriedly, trying to hide his sadness but I could still see it in his eyes, the deep wound that the war has caused.

Ignoring his question, I keep on walking, fearing the worst. I could see my comrades mixing with the crowds; they are all watching me with worried eyes and depressing faces. One by one the crowds begin to move, giving me way to where the weeping comes from.

Slowly, I begin to see where the weeping comes from.

There, in the middle of the hallway, I saw a familiar woman dressing in Victorian black dress, weeping and hugging tightly a black coat, the black coat that I recognise even with bloods all over it. Next to her lie a sword, with carving on the handle and traces of blood everywhere. The sword that always stay with him, never separated from him.

"It was my fault… If I didn't let the enemy to push me off from the cliff, he wouldn't have to die saving me." Someone said from behind me, sobbing and weeping. Usually I would just smile and said 'it's not your fault' but now, my mind is blank, my feet won't move, my lips won't smile, my eyes… my eyes…

"We're very sorry… If we were stronger… this wouldn't happen."

If I wasn't so careless, he wouldn't die. If I wasn't injured, he wouldn't die. If I was there… Tezuka wouldn't die. I was his personal guardian… his best friends… his… his…lov-

"The wife must be terribly sad…" Someone whispered behind my back.

The wife...

I despise that word, just hearing it makes my heart ache and my stomach turns. That's right, I reminded myself. The woman in front of me is his wife. I was only his best friends, his guardians, nothing more than that… nothing more…

"Fuji…"

Someone called my names but I didn't response. Everything that surrounds me seems like slipping away. It's weird, the person that I love the most is dead and yet I couldn't cry. I just stand still and watch the woman weep.

"He might not be dead yet… we couldn't find the body so there might be a slight chance that he's still alive."

A slight chance…

I used to believe in possibility and luck but now… fate has turns against me. Saying stuff like that with a trembling tones and holding your tears, how much of that slight chance will come true?

……………………

The ceremony for Tezuka will be held soon but everyone is already present, considering he was the prince. Eiji told me to stand in the front but I refused. I think it's stupid to stare at the empty coffin and hold a death ceremony for him when his body is nowhere to be found. The other reason I prefer to stand on the back is because I couldn't bear with the pain. The pain of losing someone you love, I couldn't take it.

I heard whisper coming from the peoples in front of me.

"They said that the cliff was really steep that it took them a long time to reach the bottom and when they do, the body was nowhere to be found."

"ee… serious?"

"They could only found his black coat, the sword and some pieces of clothes, Tezuka-sama was no where to be found. The rumour was that his body might be eaten by the beast."

"That's creepy."

Ignoring them, I switch my glance from the empty coffin to the altar. Standing alone and watching the altar from far away, it makes me remember the past that I want to forget.

In front of that altar was where Tezuka got married her. I hate her for standing beside Tezuka. It should be my spot. I should be the one that stood beside him, saying 'I do' and kiss him in front of everyone, and yet… it wasn't me.

I hate myself that day and now, looking at her swollen eyes, I wonder if I would cry as much as her, even now I couldn't cry. I then glance at the King and Queen, sitting in their usual places, their eyes too are swollen. All of my friends cried when they hear the news but somehow, I still couldn't cry.

Watching the close coffin again, I feel pathetic. You could say that I'm angry at myself, angry at the world, angry at her, angry at fate for making my life miserable. Couldn't stand the atmosphere anymore, I decide to leave the ceremony even though it hasn't start yet.

Leaving the chapel was strangely one of the easiest things to do. Usually it's hard for peoples to leave their love one's funeral, as I've seen so many times before. Peoples crying beside the coffin where their dearest one will rest forever until they start disintegrate leaving only bones, nails and hair.

This war has brought nothing than grieve and lose. Losing Tezuka was like losing my other self. He was the only comfort that I have after Yuuta died in a battle, another person whom I failed to protect. Even though he was married and busy with the war, he was still there, comforting me, caressing my cheek and removing my fallen tears with his thumb. He was always there.

Stopping my walk, I look up and find myself in front of a tower. It was hidden and could not be seen from the castle, no one knows this place except me and Tezuka. The tower was built very simple; there is nothing inside the tower except for a stair that leads to the balcony. On that balcony, you will be able to see the castle clearly, including the chapel. Also on that balcony, is where my love starts and end. Somehow, without realizing it, I bring myself to the place where memory of Tezuka is the strongest.

Climbing the stairs heavily, I open the door and feel the wind blowing straight into my face. The sun shine so brightly that I have to used my hand to block the sunlight and just barely, I could see two figures talking in front of me. The taller one is leaning against the fence while the other is standing. Two figures that I know very well…

Fuji, how do you get here?

I followed you in secret.

You shouldn't do that…

Just think of it as training, Tezuka. Hehehe.

Fine. Just don't tell anyone about this place.

I promise…

The wind then blows again and in the same time, the figures disappear. Whether it was an illusion or something, I don't care.

Stepping forward to the where the figures was standing before, I lean on the fence to watch the scenery that Tezuka loves so much, his kingdom.

It's not the castle that I love, Fuji; it's the peoples inside it.

So you love those peoples more than you love me?

Don't be foolish.

"Tezuka…"

Gomen…

No, I understand. It's your duty.

I'm truly sorry…

"Tezuka…"

I still love you

"TEZUKA!"

I scream…

And scream…

And scream again.

Shouting his name until all the birds flew from their nest, flying for safety. Even after that, my heart still ache and I feel sick.

Then something cool touches my hand, it was my tears…

I start crying without realizing it and once again, I feel useless and alone. The same feelings that I have when Yuuta die except that this time, Tezuka will not be here to comfort me, making me strong and save me from the darkness.

My legs suddenly lose its strength and I slump to the floor, crying like I've never cry before. My tears flow endlessly and I couldn't stop myself. Everything that I love and care is gone forever. Fate is just too cruel… too cruel.

Then I heard the church bell, ringing for Tezuka, honouring him, commemorating him for what he has done.

For me… those bells would only remind me of how lonely I am and the sanctuary that I've lose.

My sanctuary is with you.

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Fin.

Still deciding though whether I should make another chapter or not. (Probably will only be one more chapter because I'm too lazy to make it longer.)

Well if there wasn't going to be anymore chapter, that mean it's up to you to decide whether Tezuka is still alive or not hehehe. (Remember, the body wasn't found. playing CSI tunes)

Comment please... something that makes me feel better will be totally appreaciated.