Geek it Out, Jimmy

by Baxley McTedders

Gail x Holly AU prompt: geek squad. They do a prank on a friend.

Gail x Holly AU prompt: geek squad. They do a prank on a friend.

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"I'm just saying," Gail continued as she pulled the Geek Squad Beetle to a screeching stop in employee parking of the Best Buy lot. "Flip the 'on' switch before calling us out…not that hard."

Holly sighed, "Gail, she was a 97 year old woman. She didn't know."

"A 97 year old woman with a computer!"

"It was new," Holly defended the older woman they had just spent an hour with. "Jimmy should have done a better job of explaining how it worked."

Gail held up her hand to stop her. "If I had to hear one more goddamn word about Jimmy, the straight A student, I would have-"

"What, Gail?" Holly asked, smirking. "What would you have done?"

Gail huffed. "Eh, she's probably using it to watch old, wrinkly porn anyway."

"Gross," Holly complained as she got out of the car.

"Can you imagine all that hot, sweaty action?" Gail kept on. "Hold on Harry, let me take my teeth out…"

"Stop!"

"She should have called Wonderboy Jimmy out to fix her damn computer," Gail said. "She just knew Jimmy would have known exactly what to do."

"Okay, Gail."

Holly heard Gail continue to go on about how pissed she was that they just wasted a whole trip across town for nothing, but she didn't really register a whole lot because she was busy watching the sweet sway of dat ass as Gail maneuvered through the vehicles and made her way back toward the entrance to the store.

Just as Gail was about to turn the corner, Holly yelled, "Wait!"

Gail stopped abruptly, turning and scowling. "What?"

"Your…" Holly jogged the few steps to catch up. She rolled her eyes at the exasperated look on Gail's face before reaching up to straighten the blonde's tie. "Your tie…it's…askew."

Gail reluctantly smiled, "Askew, huh?"

Holly may have a tightened a bit tighter than necessary before saying, "Yes, askew."

Gail waited until Holly was done, after she had patted the tie down on Gail's chest and picked some lint off her shoulder. "You done?"

"I'm done," Holly answered, crossing her arms.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

Gail continued to stand in front of her. "So is this flirting? Are we into flirting territory now?"

"Nobody's flirting."

"You just groomed me."

"So!"

"You're flirting!"

Holly pushed lightly on Gail's shoulder before stalking past her. "Everything little thing has to be something with you."

"Every little thing is something with you," Gail called as she followed her in.

The two of them barely got back into the building before Oliver, Head Geek, was pointing them back out the door.

"Your last run just called back," he informed them. "She doesn't know her password."

"It's Jimmy!" Gail exclaimed. "C'mon, Mary, pull yourself together."

"Go back," Oliver directed them. "And try to be nicer. She complained about the 'one with the attitude problem.'"

"You hear that, Hol," Gail said as she tried to pull of a stern look. "Customers are starting to complain. You really need to start checking that raging case of bitch."

"I'll go!" Chloe piped up out of nowhere. "I'll go if you don't think Gail should."

"Gail's going!" Oliver said without a second thought. "And she's going deliver some awesome customer service."

Chloe pouted, "But, it's Gail."

"I'll be with her, Oliver," Holly said. "We'll be fine."

"You really think that's a good idea?" Chloe asked the boss.

"Chloe, shut it!" Gail said, throwing a pad of post-its at her. "I could build a modem out of your face."

"That's impossible, Peck," Chloe argued.

"Oh yeah?" Gail sniped. "You told me last week that 'if I believe it, I can achieve it.' What happened to all that annoying optimism?"

"I meant dreams and stuff."

"Uh huh," Gail nodded. She tossed her Geek Squad pen at her, too. "It's different when the modem's on your face, huh? Huh?"

Oliver signaled Holly and she proceeded to herd Gail back out. "C'mon, genius."

"Sleep with one eye open, Chloe," Gail said. "'Cause your Price just got wrong."

They had just stepped back out the sliding doors when Gail started to chuckle.

"You're such an ass," Holly said, laughing with her.

"I'm just fucking with her," Gail shrugged. "It's too easy."

"You say that," Holly leaned into Gail with her shoulder. "But, I know how your evil mind works. You're already planning to get her back."

"Harmless fun."

"Like?"

"I haven't decided yet," Gail told her. She unlocked the Beetle with the keys and mocked the beep that alerted them to the open doors. "But I assure you that no bodily harm will come to Chloe."

Holly settled in her seat before saying, "That's what you said about Andy."

"Whoa now," Gail said, dropping in the driver's side. "It wasn't my fault she ran right into that post."

"You scared the hell out of her, Gail," Holly said with her eyes wide. "She thought her life was in danger."

"Pop out of one closet with a chainsaw and all of a sudden you're the bad guy."

"You should reign it in," Holly suggested. "Dial it back, maybe."

"Dial it back?" Gail scoffed. "And what's your idea of dialing it back?"

"I don't know," Holly rolled her shoulders. "Something funny, but not as terrifying. Oh, oh, like…" Holly's face lit up light a light bulb, "cut all the pinkies out of her gloves!"

Gail paused for a second and stared. Hard. "What the fuck, Hol? You're lame as hell."

"What?"

"That's the lamest fucking thing I've ever heard."

"Is not," Holly argued. "You are."

"Cold pinkies?" Gail eyed her. "That's your idea of revenge?"

"You're forgetting about the added expense of getting new gloves."

"Chloe's cheap," Gail said. "She'd be out ten bucks, max."

"Fine, it's lame," Holly gave in and clicked her seatbelt into place. "Drive."

"Can I ask a question?" Gail said as they navigated the downtown area.

"Sure," Holly replied. "Ask me anything you want."

"Anything?"

"Within reason."

"What's within reason?"

Holly snorted, "I'm not going to tell you about my last sexual encounter. I'm not going to give you any specific identifying information to use for nefarious purposes. I'm not going give you a hundred bucks to spend on cheese fries and Gatorade."

"It's none of those things."

"Alright then, shoot."

"Okay," Gail looked over out of the corner of her eye. "You really wouldn't even consider us going out?"

"Ga-il…"

"C'mon."

"How long are you going to harp on this?"

"Until I get a good answer."

"You said it was a hypothetical question, Gail," Holly recalled the conversation they had a week ago. "If we didn't work together, would I be interested?"

"Exactly!" Gail slapped the steering wheel. "In a world where we're not co-working."

"Even if we didn't," Holly said, "you'd still be exes with my friend."

"So!"

"I feel weird about it," Holly said. "I've told you this a thousand times."

"But…"

"Don't!"

"You kissed me under that desk, Hol."

"I know," Holly sighed, knowing it was coming. One moment of weakness and she'd never escape it. Ever. "I don't know how that happened! And I apologized…profusely. I'm still very sorry."

"You've apologized so much that I'm almost offended."

"It was just…"

"The fluorescent lighting? The musky smell of old wood? The way the blue Ethernet cable matched my eyes? The fact that I kept getting pissed off because I broke three modular plugs that day?"

"You looked so cute, with your serious face, all intent on getting that guy's internet to work."

"I take my job really seriously."

"Liar," Holly poked at her.

"I could show you a good time, you know."

Holly choked out a laugh. "Geez, Gail."

"You don't know what you're missing, lady."

Holly battled with her eyes not to check Gail out…again…for the thirty-second time today. "I can imagine."

"Uh huh…"

Holly let a moment pass before reengaging. "She's my best friend."

"Was!"

"For years," Holly reminded her.

"Three years," Gail countered. "Everybody knows it's not real best friendship until you reach five. Best friends for five years, yeah, you're tight. That's a real bond. But, three? C'mon. You barely knew each other."

"Gail…"

"I had a hamster that lived longer than that."

"Gail…"

"His name was Woogie," Gail said. "He loved strawberry drops and Aerosmith songs."

"Your hamster loved Aerosmith?"

"Yeah, he always kicked it up a notch on the wheel when he heard Steven Tyler."

"I never know when you're making things up," Holly said, looking out the window of the Geek Squad cruiser.

"Does it matter?" Gail asked. "Do you know how Nicole felt about Aerosmith?"

Holly turned back around to look at Gail. "Uh…no."

"See," Gail said, making her point. "Not best friends."

Holly smiled. She'd never known Gail to work at anything as hard as she was trying to get Holly to hypothetically consider going out with her. It was definitely interesting.

"And by the way, Hol," Gail said in a most mischievous voice. "I already know about your last sexual encounter. Your BFF Nic wasn't exactly discreet when it came to blabbing your secrets."

"Fucking Nicole!" Holly squealed.

"Yep," Gail nodded. "She's a cheating, whoring bitchface secret teller."

"Damn."

"And just so you know," Gail continued. "Intense eye contact with the movie ticket girl doesn't count as foreplay."

"Okay," Holly said, her face flush with embarrassment. "You can stop."

"Was it R rated?"

"Gail."

"Did you get to keep your feet up on the chair in front of you?"

"Gail."

"Was your popcorn double buttered?"

"That's enough!"

"She told me all about it. She was a horrible friend."

"Yeah…"

"And you still won't hypothetically date me?" Gail shook her head.

"It's girl code and you know it."

"No," Gail wouldn't let that go. "Only if said girl is awesome and you're still friends. Not if said girl is a lying douchebag that moved to Connecticut with some tramp who plays in the WNBA."

"Is this a bad time to make a rebound joke?"

"Always a bad time, Hol!" Gail informed her.

"Still…"

"Nope, she's horrible," Gail stated. "And you're argument is stupid. Besides, we dated for what? A few months, right? And in all that time, I barely slept with her."

Gail pulled up into the drive that they had only left an hour before. She put the Geek Squad Mobile in park and looked over at Holly, who was gaping.

"What?"

"Barely?"

"That's what I said," Gail told her again.

Before Holly could question her anymore, Gail was out of the car and on her way to Mary's door.

Holly struggled to catch up and got there just as the older woman was appearing. "Finally, you girls took forever to get back!"

"Hi there," Gail said. "You needed some more help?"

"We were told you might be having some issues with a password?" Holly asked.

"What?" Mary waved them in. "No, I need to get on the webnets for Interactive Bingo. Can you do that?"

"Of course," Gail said, scooting right past the woman and over to her desktop. "I'll have you ready in no time."

A few minutes and the offer of a nice, tall glass of ice cold milk later, Holly was smiling awkwardly at Mary while listening to Gail's typing.

"So, Jimmy's in college?" Holly asked, searching for anything that would fill the time.

Gail groaned loudly and Holly slyly kicked the chair she was in.

"Medical school," Mary answered. "He's going to be one of those foot doctors."

"Foot health is very important!"

"I'll go get his picture," Mary said, working her way out of her seat. Holly attempted to help, but was rebuffed. "No, no. You stay there. I'll be right back."

When the old lady shuffled down the hallway, Gail punched Holly in the thigh. "Had to bring up Jimmy, didn't you? You're a glutton for punishment."

"She was staring at me!" Holly whispered.

"Suck it up, buttercup."

"Just fix the webnets so the woman can play Bingo and we can leave."

"I'm working on it," Gail said, forcefully pushing the keys down.

"Okay!"

"Okay."

"Hey," Holly said after a minute.

"What?"

"How do you barely sleep with a girl anyway?" Holly asked quietly while Gail's hands flew over Mary's computer keyboard.

"You know…" Gail said without looking up. "We did some stuff, but not other stuff."

"Like what other stuff?"

"You know…" Gail waved her off and gestured toward the incoming Mary with her head. "Stuff…"

"Like…"

"I think the pissy little rude one means she never went down on her," Mary interjected. She then pointed to her ear, "These Beltones can pick up a belch from down the street."

Both Gail and Holly froze.

"Well, is that right, Rudy?" Mary asked Gail. "You don't have to be so secretive. I know all about the lesbians."

Gail slowly turned in her chair. "You," she pointed at Mary. "You know all about the lesbians?"

"Why, yes, I do," Mary said proudly. "I, myself, am a late-in-lifer. Met my girlfriend, Hilda when I was 83."

"Hm," Holly said. "Impressive."

Mary presented them with a photo of a dorky looking guy. "Jimmy."

"Not as impressive," Gail remarked.

"I didn't say he was pretty," Mary dusted off the photo. "I said he was smart."

"Ahh," Gail agreed and then quickly finished up her work. She did a few more clicks and said, "Bingo!"

"It's done?"

"Well, yeah, that, too," Gail said. She tapped on the screen. "But, it's actually Bingo. Play until your heart gives out."

"Will do!" Mary pushed her out of the way and sat down to check things out.

"Alright, Mary," Holly tapped her shoulder. "Call us if you need anything else."

"Sure, thing," she said. Before Holly got too far away, she grabbed her hand and motioned for her to come closer. "You two would make a nice young couple. That's if you could get Rudy over there to shut her trap once in a while."

"Hey, now!" Gail's mouth dropped open, obviously overhearing. "What makes you think I'd want to go out with her?"

"I'm no dummy," Mary said with a wink. "Now get the hell out."

As they backed onto the highway in the Geek Squad Bug, Holly cleared her throat. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Let's do it."

"Right now?" Gail smirked. "We're on the clock."

"No," Holly rolled her eyes. "A date."

"Yeah?"

"Sure."

"Okay," Gail said nonchalantly. "But first, we're going to break into Chloe's apartment and cut all the pinkies out of her gloves."