Disclaimer: Characters are not mine; Criminal Minds is not mine either
Summary: Reid questions his beliefs and sobriety while wandering to a church. This story was originally a part of the X-Files and thought this would be sweet as a Criminal Minds fanfic as well.
Criminal Minds: St. Matthew's Saving
A rainy Monday hit the Washington DC area swift and hard. Reports of accidents filling the airwaves and the shrieking sirens filled the noiseless tune of the pounding elements. A tall, and lanky man creeps down Rhode Island Avenue sidewalk, where amazingly the street was less crowded. He began to slow his brisk pace as he reaches his destination. The dark haired man, armed with an umbrella against the rainy elements glares at the large clay brick building. Thoughts of whether to step inside the building began to toggle in his head. He had been walking around town for hours, with no destination in mind. The man has seen his fair share of evil in the world, and took on the oath to protect the public from these dark forces. His eyes glare lowered to a sign. "Cathedral of St. Matthew the Apostle" it reads.
Forcing his hand on the handle of the door, and umbrella in the other, he opened the door, and with one swift move, he enters with the umbrella, shaking of the extra dampness. As he entered, his eyes wandered, taking in the awe-inspiring sight of the different paintings, stained glass, and other art throughout the church. Mid-way down the walkway, he finds a pew, and takes a seat, wondering, pondering his life over the last seven years.
That afternoon was more of an off day than anything. In the hub of the Behavioral Analysis Unit at Quantico, a young woman is sitting at a corner desk reading some files that pertained to a piece of work she was currently assigned. Her hazel eyes through her reading glasses were fixed on the medical exam reports, even the gruesome photos that surprise her mind, and challenged to find the answer. In between her thoughts, she was also praying, asking God why allow these things to happen to good people. Her silent thoughts clouded her mind so well, she didn't notice her lanky colleague enter the office, shaking the water from the impending rain flowing like a raging sea outside. "You know, J.J.….." Her face shot up and met his eyes. "I should file a complaint with the Bureau for making their resources endure hazardous weather conditions…." His smile with his joke made the woman forget the thoughts of the unknown in her head.
She shyly grinned, placed the file back on her table in the corner. She removed her glasses, with eyes closed, taking her thumb and forefinger, rubbing the strain away, providing a small relief. She glances at the clock. 11 AM. "Damn…" she thought. "Reid, this case that we just got back from has me completely drained. The M.E. reports does not match up to the physical evidence in the autopsy that was performed…." (Author's note: Usually most morgues will have their own transcriber who takes the tapes and fill out the paperwork.) "On top of that, all the toxicology samples from the second crime scene never made it to a lab."
Reid looked at his close friend with inquisitive look. "Are you saying this is a cover up?" he asked. She didn't have to answer…..her glaring eyes did the answering for her. "It would look like that." Reid started to grab his suit jacket. "I am going to talk to…." She holds her hand up, which makes him stop dead in his tracks. His face hardens as he fears what her next statement would be. "Hotch called and left a message. He knows the situation and as far as the matter of the case, it is closed."
Reid looked at her with a hurt look of defeat. He even felt sorry. Not because of the Bureau's wasted resources and time, but for the families of those who died the most insufferable deaths that they have ever witnessed during his time with the BAU. "I need air," he huffed. He grabbed his umbrella and rain coat. J.J. begins to follow suit, but it was his turn to stop her. "I think I need to be on my own with this one. I appreciate your concern, I really do….but this is something I need…." She nodded, allowing him to go off on his own.
J.J. was in the office for about another hour when Hotch called the office. She picked up the phone quickly, hoping it was her partner. "Jureau?" she answered. "JJ, its Hotch, is Reid down there?" She was slightly hesitant, but answered with a half-truth. "Sir, Reid stepped out for late lunch, which he isn't back yet." She crosses her fingers hoping he bought it. "Ah," he responds, "well if you get a hold of him, tell him you guys have been released for the day, mainly due to the storm and nothing at the moment is on the radar that's pressing." Scully was slightly flabbergasted. "Thank you sir, I will let him know." They hang up, and she settles back in the desk chair. She felt the need to leave, but felt she wasn't ready to go home. Her mind, body, and soul were through a lot recently. She needed to recharge. J.J. hastened getting her things together. She headed to the garage, and headed straight to her church. St. Matthews.
The drive to St. Matthews was long for her. She has often come to the church every Friday after work for her devotions, but today was definitely not Friday. Instead of the front, she parked out to the side garage. She slipped through the side door into the Annex, where Sunday school was taught. An old upright piano sat in a corner. She removed her wet jacket, suit jacket and shoes. She walked over to the bench and sat down, adjusting her skirt to allow her legs to use the foot pedals for the piano. As she began to play, she began to pray to herself. Her fingers glide over the keys, gracefully, without thought or hesitation. There she began to sing.
Reid was deep in thought, clutching the one reminder of his victory over his demons, his Sobriety Token. The last few cases gave him nightmares that he would never wish on his own enemies. It had been a year ago today, that Maeve had died. His thoughts were interrupted when the faint sounds of a piano were being played, echoing an eerie effect through the cathedral. He lifted his head and his tired eyes, hot from the fresh tears of his torment. He lifted his lanky frame, shedding his rain coat and suit jacket, and laid them in the pew. He began to walk forward to the altar. He walks to the front, and his eyes gaze on the figure of the crucifix. His eyes locked on the eyes of Christ, studying the facial expression, wondering how it must have been unbearable for his pain and suffering. His ears picked up the piano becoming louder, and this time, a woman singing..
Why should I feel discouraged
Why should the shadows come
Why should my heart feel lonely
And long for heaven and home
He begins to navigate the small corridors, following the sounds. In his mind, the voice sounded angelic, strong, and confident. He peered around a corner and sees a room with the door open with a light shining out. He slowly made his way down the dark corridor, the music and singing louder, and more beautiful with each step. He peered around the solid wooden doorframe. His jaw dropped.
When Jesus is my portion
A constant friend is He
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches over me
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me
Reid looks upon his friend. He was shocked, for one, he didn't know she was so musically gifted. He can feel her emotions in her words and in her expressions.
I sing because I'm happy
I sing because I'm free
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches
He watches me
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches
I know He watches
I know He watches me
I sing because I'm happy
I sing because I'm free
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me
He watches me
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me
He watches me
He watches me, I never thought...
He watches me
"Please don't stop."
His voice jolted her out of her train of thought, "SPENCER!" His half-sheepish grin crosses his face at the pure shock on her face as she turned to him. He leaned against the door frame, crossing his ankles, placing his hands in his pockets. "Judging by your reaction, I guess you didn't think to find me here." Her face, rouge in color began to turn back to her normal complexion. "Ironically, this is where I attended Mass when I first came to DC. I go to others from time to time depending on the day, but I guess you can call this my home church." Reid straightened himself up. "Fair enough." His expression became more serious. "What are you doing here, Spence?" He thought about it before he answered. The question of whether she would understand crossed his mind. "Would you sit with me in the sanctuary?" His question has a slight case of fear of rejection. "Sure."
J.J. rose from her seat, gathering her things, and walks with him to the sanctuary. As they crossed the threshold, Reid notices J.J., kneeling before the cross, saying a small word of prayer. She rose, and joined Reid at the pew. She looked at him, searching his eyes. "So what brought you here, Reid?"
"I don't know, this afternoon felt like a breaking point to me, J.J.. I was really disappointed about the case being swept under the rug like it was. I wondered how many times in our time it has been done, the UnSub has gotten away, friends, even people we love were taken from us. It really sucks." J.J. sat close listening to him as he kept going. "Not just the case, but the cases in general. I wonder where I stand in my faith in the quest for justice and understanding. It is getting to the point that I am losing the faith in it and the fire to keep searching. J.J., I look at your grounding in your family, your son, my godson, admire your faith in God, and your faith that He will keep your paths as such. I can't even begin to understand how you can, with everything we have seen, and or gone through these past years." He holds the medallion in her view. "I keep this with me always, to remind me of the place I was, and where I don't want to end up back into. The strength that you and the rest of the team allow me to keep that promise to myself. Without you guys, I would be back to where I was seven years ago."
At this point his eyes are tearing. JJ places her hand in his, holding back the tears of her own. "Spence, primarily I was raised in the faith. I was brought up to believe it, and I have even done some undergrad study for giggles, to better grasp it. Much like how you studied everything in everything, there is truth to some of those texts because it is what the occultist believes. But for me, what is said in God's word is the ABSOLUTE Truth. For one to be saved, as the Christians call it, you must admit that you are a sinner, believe that Jesus was the Son of Man, coming to earth to be the ultimate sacrifice for all sinners such as us, and rose three days later. For someone who isn't raised in the faith, to be honest, it is more powerful feeling as compared to someone like me. Believe me when I say Spence, I lost my faith over and over, but in the end, I always find my way back, and it was always with me, and you guys by my side. Spence, you are a brother to me, and I love you beyond all compared."
Reid reveled in her words and explanation, unable to speak. She then continued. "To be honest Spence, if these feelings you have conflicting your heart, what is to stop you from taking that step?" His eyes still red from the tears. He placed his face in his hands, still lightly weeping. "Absolutely nothing." She stands up, motioning him to his feet. He followed her to the altar, where his attention was given the most. She and Reid knelt, and as she held his hand, she led him through the sinner's prayer.
"Dear God, I know that my sin has separated me from you. Thank you that Jesus Christ died in my place. I ask Jesus to forgive my sin and to come into my life. Please begin to direct my life. Thank you for giving me eternal life, in Jesus' name, Amen."
Upon completing the prayer, her gaze went back to his face. He looked surprisingly different in her eyes, a new creation. They stood up and gathered her belongings, and began to head out the front door. "Come on," J.J. smiled "time for some dinner. It is my treat." Spencer smiled. "What is the occasion?" says Reid, helping J.J with her coat. As they head out the front door. "Welcome to the family, Spencer Reid."
THE END
(ENDING CREDIT MUSIC)
Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace
The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace
The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine