Steve couldn't sleep. He could never sleep. The few hours he ever managed to doze off were filled with horrible memories. Some nights it was waking up in sweat soaked sheets, after failing yet again to save Bucky. Other nights, he woke up shivering uncontrollably, having dreamt of yet again taking that icy plunge into the Arctic. His mind and body restless, he kicked the covers off and made his way down to the training room. Maybe he could beat the shit out of some punching bags until complete exhaustion.
He was down there for maybe an hour, when the sound feminine giggling, and a familiar husky muttering carried into the training room. In a slight panic, Steve ducked behind the rack of towels, hidden in the shadow. He grimaced, his suspicions confirmed, as Tony and some dame came drunkenly stumbling into the room.
"Well, Mr. Stark, you did promise me a work out." The dame said, letting out another unattractive giggle. Steve rolled his eyes. Tony didn't respond, simply kissing her unceremoniously. He back her up against the boxing, lifting her up. Steve looked away.
Standing up, he quietly made his way out of the training room unnoticed by the couple, having been too busy shedding their clothes. Steve made it inside the elevator before his knees gave out and he collapsed onto the floor. His heart clenched, and his breathing became shallow as he tried to suppress his emotions. He banged his head against the elevator wall in frustration.
Tony fucking Stark. Another thing to add to the list of why he couldn't sleep. Yet another unattainable thing in his life. Probably the worst one. Like dangling a piece of meat just out of reach of a starving dog. It wasn't like the same longing he had for his previous life. At least with his longing to have Peggy or Bucky back, it wasn't in front of his face every day. And just now, seeing Tony with that woman. Just another reminder why he couldn't have Tony. Why he shouldn't have Tony.
The elevator doors opened up to his floor. Steve dragged himself up off of the floor and back into his room. He didn't bother changing out of his sweaty clothes. Curling up under the covers, he stared out of the window over the city skyline, as a few hot tears finally escaped his eyes.