Disneyland
Her throat tightened and opened as mucus slid down over her upper lip. She made no move to wipe at it. All she could do was stand frozen to keep herself together.
From somewhere close by, she could hear the sound of a cat hacking out a fur ball. Repetitive, it was a sound that seemed to have no end. Why here of all places? Was she imagining it?
A picture emerged unbidden in her mind, distracting her from the current situation.
The ocean. The ocean is below her and the air smells of salt. Steep mountain cliffs and a winding road. A Grace Kelly scene with a flamboyant Italian sports car. He is driving for nothing but the simple joy of it, and she is seated beside him to share in the moment. Their surroundings change to a place more mundane but it doesn't matter, as long as they can keep going.
They stop at the lights of a suburban crossing and with the wind lessening its force she can hear his gentle breathing. Her whole being had subconsciously synchronised to it. She deliberately slows her own breath. They are different. They are not the same.
"Where to?" he asks without turning his head.
She considers for a moment before answering. "Disneyland," flat, colourful, removed from reality. A silly location where no one would ever think of finding them.
He laughs with fondness, with warmth. That stagnant fondness he reserves for only her and the two boys. No, that's not quite right. It is their position that has never changed. He has accepted them as a part of himself and as a result, his affection had always been a reflection on his own self worth. She is merely protected by him for self defence, she will never be faced against the intensity he has towards outsiders.
She is not the same as him. She is an individual different to him, but it is getting harder to convince even herself of it.
A phrase floats over her other reflections. "-believed you were never born as a whole being. Split in half by the gods, humans lived incomplete. All through life, you wandered the earth looking to complete yourself and when found, intimacy and love would form without condition or explanation."
She wonders where she had heard that. It is important whether it was something she had heard before or after becoming "Chrome". Surely not from Mukuro himself, he would never say anything so romantic and honest.
Then who?
The car navigator advises him to turn left at the next corner. He hums and turns right. "Let's pollute the world a little longer," he raises his voice as the car narrowly misses a pedestrian. He laughs.
Bit by bit, the speed increases and bit by bit, his driving becomes just a little more reckless. "It would be wonderful if I lost control. A delayed reaction and a bad decision is all we need. I'll take your hand at the very last second and we'll crash together, merge into one entity. It's just a small possibility but perhaps I could take you with me to the next world. That would be nice, don't you think?"
He reaches over and holds her hand. It's bony and damp, cold and nothing like the elegant fingers that stroked her hair in their dreams. She squeezes it as a response and he smiles.
"Are you scared?" he asks her, "shall we drive a little slower?"
She shakes her head. She has surrendered, given up. "Faster." The wind cools the sweat that had formed below the nape of her neck. "Faster," she repeats. Her nose begins to run but she ignores it.
The navigator advises him to remain heading straight ahead. Disregarding their surroundings he makes a sudden u-turn when she notices a black cat crossing the road.
Odd eyes, red and blue gleam and blink at her from the inky darkness. She reaches out and realises she's no longer inside the car. She hugs the animal and as the car screeches closer, all she thinks of is that she had let go of his hand. Her eyes water, but either choice would have led to her regret.
"I have a need for you," she remembers him telling her.
Chrome, a voice pulled her back. Chrome, again, a little more insistent.
Sweet Chrome.
Chrome-Chrome-Chrome-Chrome.
The voice could have been mistaken for an echo but for each syllable pronounced with such deliberate urgency.
You must leave now. You cannot go any further.
She wiped her nose and tried to move. The darkness disoriented her and the gunshot wound on her calf bled and soaked into the sole of her boot. It was true they had to leave, but she knew Mukuro was kept somewhere on their current floor. So close, it would only take a little longer.
No, you must go now. Chikusa is still breathing. It is not too late to turn back.
But what about Ken? She knew, yet she did not want to look. What had made her want to retch? She looked straight ahead of her, careful of not looking down where they lay. Ken would have wanted her to continue on regardless. She can come back for them; it will only take a few minutes. No, how can she leave them? She stopped in her movements yet again, the decision weighing one way then another. But she was so close.
Chrome. Let me in. You are too weak to fight alone and yet you are blocking me from entering your body.
The guards are getting closer.
Chrome.
My dear Chrome.
…Nagi.
It had been so long since he had called her by that name.
Nagi, give me the keys and I promise I will drive you to Disneyland. One last time, and I will never use you again.
She could never say no. Her body was already gripping his trident as he led her through his decisions.
One day, we will go to Disneyland where every story is edited into a happy ending.
The sort of place that neither had ever experienced.
From somewhere close by, a cat meowed.
*Concept from Plato's The Symposium. Oh, those wacky ancient Greeks!
AN- Please note that I didn't use a beta for this (still looking for one) so any grammatical errors you find will be extremely useful if you tell me!