Journeys of the Heart
A simple man. A passionate man. An idealist who could argue his point, an excellent learner, a mind that loved to sense what is real, a passionate emotional feeler. That man is me—my original whole self, doomed to be taken by the darkness long before my physical birth. After my heart was taken by the darkness, I left my identity of wholeness and became a Nobody. A Nobody called Axel.
Darkness, the force that leads us astray, is humanly unstoppable. A servant of the Light may be freed from it, but it will overtake everyone for some amount of time. For as Xeanhort's heartless once said, "All worlds began in Darkness, and all so shall end." Was he a madman or genius? As our organization searched for a way to become whole, I believed both the principals of Xeanhort's heartless and Xeanhort's nobody, Xemnas. I saw that Darkness is in every heart and every world, and that every person is born into Darkness.
But I still believed in something. I believed that somehow, I could be whole again. It was the Darkness that enslaved me, yet it was the Darkness that was my only aid. Darkness was my mind, my soul, and the only weapon I had to achieve my goal was Darkness. The Organization and I did some terrible things on our desperate search to make ourselves whole: we stole, kidnapped; we were deceitful and often cruel. On the outside, I was cool; on the inside, I was hurting.
There was someone that helped me through this hard time. His name was Roxas, and from the moment I saw him I sensed something unusual and interesting abut him. We became the best of friends, as close as brothers, and we sometimes talked about the deeper matters of life.
"What is it about you that makes you so different?" I asked.
His blue eyes were clouded and grim as usual. "Well…we're looking for my other half, aren't we? We're looking for Sora. I guess I'm different from you because my other half isn't a heartless anymore. If I meet him, I think we can become whole together."
I pretended to adsorbed in my sea salt ice-cream. "You're lucky…Roxas. You stand a chance of finding yourself."
"You can do it too," he told me faithfully. "Remember, we're going to make Sora kill the heartless for us. When enough hearts go up to Kingdom Hearts, we'll all become whole."
Although I didn't understand why it would work, I helped with the plan. When I lost Roxas and he became one with Sora, I was devastated. Things went downhill from there. I started questioning everything, and wonder about things I never dared to wonder before. Something inside me that thirsted for the same Light that Sora had. I helped Sora and Kairi, but for all my efforts, I was still not whole. I started to fade away. I said a fond goodbye to Sora, who seemed to be my only link to Roxas and to Light.
All of a sudden I was soaring up. Up, up to Kingdom Hearts of all places. There were hearts everywhere, and they were all linked by chains of love. "Take me to your leader," I demanded of the hearts. They parted and let me through them, but I did not move far before a shaft of light nearly blinded me. I shrunk away from it, but was interested nonetheless. "Who are you? Why have you called me here?"
I did not hear a physical voice, but something spoke to my consciousness. It was warm and overwhelming deep. The Light always calls to those it loves.
"You're…Light?" I asked. "I don't understand. Why are all these hearts here? Why can't I be whole? Why can't my other friends be whole again?"
I see you are craving answers to many questions, the voice said. I will explain it to you. Long ago, all Worlds were Light. They were full of Children who all had hearts of Light. Then Darkness came forth and poisoned the hearts, turning them into creatures of the dark. And so to some it seems that Dark has always been and shall always be. When your heart is taken by the Darkness, you are no longer whole. You become Nobodies, who commit crimes against the Light.
"Oh," I said, feeling guilty. "I know it's a little late for this but…I'm sorry."
No matter how sorry you are, you can't save yourself. Only Light can save you. For that reason the Keyblade was created. The Keyblade is another form of Light, another form of me. People who accept the Light can become Keyblade wielders, like Sora. The Keyblade destroys Darkness and releases the hearts of the captive. From there the hearts come here and are purified by me, if they wish to accept me.
"I think I get it," said I enthusiastically. "That's why Organization XIII made Sora kill so many heartless. One of the heartless could be my other half, and once it is purified in Kingdom Hearts, it can become one with me again. Is that right?"
Yes, but you Nobodies have it mixed it up a little. In order for you to join with your purified heart again, you have to be willing to accept Light. You have to understand that you hold no power over Darkness. The only thing that can keep you away from the Darkness is me, the Light.
Axel had more questions. "Sora was a heartless once and he got purified. How? He didn't come up here, did he?"
He had a friend named Kairi. She had already accepted the Light, and she freely gave some of it to Sora. I worked through her, putting some of myself into Sora as Kairi embraced him. Then Sora became himself again, but he still had to reunite with Roxas.
"So, the captive hearts come here, right?" I asked. "But what about Nobodies? If they're killed before they can reunite, what happens to them? I'm asking because…I want to know what happens to me." I was feeling frightened and insignificant.
It was wrong for Nobodies to do the evil deeds they did, but it was also wrong of Sora to kill them before they had a chance to be redeemed. However, there is nothing Light can't do. If you want me to, I'll welcome you here. I can save you, Axel. At times you've hated me, but all relationships will have ups and downs. Please, just let me save your life.
Tears started to pour down my face. "No," I said shakily, "I don't deserve it!"
Of course you do. You deserve it because you're my child. Welcome home.
My old black robe was stripped away and I was bathed from head to toe, body and soul, in Light. And I suddenly knew that Sora had been right—Darkness may rule for a time, but there is a light that never goes out.
Kingdom Hearts is Light.