Title: IF YOU'RE READING THIS

Author: navycorpsman

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, but I wouldn't mind own Brig. General Holden or PFC LeBlanc…I'd even take Sgt. Moran:)

The story is based on the song "If You're Reading This" by Tim McGraw

Spoilers: Not that I'm aware of. It's a little AU…

Content Warning: None…right now…I'm feeling rather angsty and decided that Roxy needed to feel my angst!

Summary: Trevor is KIA in Iraq. What does his final letter to Roxy say and how does she handle it?

Something was wrong. Roxy knew it. After all, Claudia Joy hadn't shown up for what had become the weekly 'tribal' meeting and Brigadier General Michael Holden didn't normally show up at the Hump Bar. Roxy delivered a round of Dirty Girl Scouts to table four and found her way to Fort Marshall's Commanding Officer. "What do I owe the pleasure of our Commanding Officer at the Hump Bar?" Roxy smiled.

Michael didn't smile back. "Is there some place private we can talk?"

"We're all…" Roxy noticed Claudia Joy walk in. "Claudia Joy's here, so maybe you can join us and…"

"We need to talk alone, Roxy." Michael Holden was a hard CO, but he was never one to demand anything of his troops wives. Yet, his voice was demanding, with a hint of sadness.

"Ooookay." Roxy put the tray on the table. "I'll be back, ya'll." She smiled as she led Michael and Claudia Joy to a back room.

Michael stiffened up, not wanting to deliver what he had to. "We wanted to tell you before anyone else." He started, but caught himself. He wiped away what Roxy bet her life was a tear. "It is with regret that the Department of Defense informs you that…"

Roxy took a step back. "No!"

Michael looked at her. "I'm sorry, Roxy, but, we got news this morning that Trevor's helo was shot down and no one survived."

"You thought the same of Major Sherwood and he survived. You can't tell me Trevor's dead. He's not." Roxy looked hard at Michael Holden. "He's not dead. He told me he'd come back and I believe him. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work."

Claudia Joy caught Roxy's elbow. "I'm sorry, Roxy. Know that Michael and I are here for you."

The younger blonde woman looked at the slightly older brunette. "I know, but Trevor's not dead."

When Roxy awoke the next morning, she found a package on her doorstep when she went to sit on the stoop with her usual cup of coffee. The writing was most definitely Trevor's and she smiled, knowing that she was right. He was alive. "Hey!" She looked up to see her closest friend, Pamela Moran, walking her way.

Pamela sat next to her friend. "Hey." Her voice was soft and that set off alarms in Roxy.

"You're not normally not this quiet. What's up?" Roxy nudged the ginger-haired woman.

"How are you doing, honey?"

Roxy scoffed. "Why does everyone think Trevor's dead?"

"No one survived." Pamela was uncharacteristically quiet.

Roxy felt anger in her rise. "Look, they said the same thing about Major Sherwood and…" She looked up and saw Denise, Roland, and Claudia Joy walking up the walkway and it seemed as though the entire base was looking at the events at the Le Blanc house. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" She smiled politely.

Roland Burton smiled a smile full of sorrow. "We heard and we wanted to be here for you. Pamela." He nodded at Roxy's guest.

"Roland." Pamela stood up.

"I see you got the box." Claudia Joy pointed to the brown package still sitting in front of Roxy's door.

"Yeah." Roxy smiled. "It's from Trevor." Somehow she felt that it being addressed in Trevor's writing meant he was alive and that there had been a serious mistake.

Claudia Joy sat next to Pamela, who had resumed her position. "Don't you think you should open it? To see what he sent?"

Roxy put her mug down and went and opened the box. "There's a letter, some of the things we sent him and his uniform." She looked at the others. "Why would he send…" She looked at Claudia Joy, who had stood up behind Roxy, ready to catch the new widow if she had to. "NO!" Roxy's scream could be heard all over the base and she fell into Claudia Joy's arms. "No. No! NO!" was all she could say as the realization hit her.

Denise Sherwood, having gone through this before, gently took the letter from Roxy's hand and softly rubbed her back. "I wish it was like it was with Frank. That Trevor was coming home to you and your family." She wiped some tears from her face. She remembered that day when a Black Hawk had been shot down and no one knew if Frank had been killed. She remembered the agonizing hours spent trying to sort her life when she was sure Frank had been killed. She understood all too well what Roxy was feeling. She softly brushed some of Roxy's hair off her face. "I'm here for you, no matter the time, no matter what the issue is."

Roxy couldn't speak. She sobbed uncontrollably. She had known life with Trevor had been too good; too much of a dream. She had expected it to end, but not like this.