AN: These characters are not mine.
Spoilers: Takes place after season 3.
C'mon Timmy, time to pay up, Mindy chided. You promised. And this is a break in the regular schedule.
Tim pushed his fingers through his lank hair. Then he clapped his hands and chuffed, steeling himself.
Alright. Shock and awe time, he said, heading for the saloon doors to the back of The Landing Strip.
He'd managed to lose a poker match with Mindy the week before, and in a drunken stupor, broke and with little choice, he'd put up something he thought he'd lost a long time ago.
His dignity.
-/-/-/-/-
Lights dim. Tim's familiar voice booming over the sound system.
Ladies and gents, hang onto your beer bottles and prepare to be enthralled by the masculine wiles of the one, the only, Timber Riggs! This is for you, Mindy.
Whoops, applause. Shouts of Timber! Timber!
(His official porn name would be Spot Evergreen, which just didn't have a ring to it, so he decided on Timber.)
The spotlight trained on the purple mylar curtain, bumped from behind.
The curtain parted, and there was Tim—Timber—back to the audience, which contained his brother and Mindy's entire bridal party and their mates, at a combined bachelor/bachelorette celebration with him as the main event.
Whistles, hoots, barks, catcalls. Nervous giggles and laughs.
He wore black pants, but otherwise the usual plaid shirt, boots, and cowboy hat, one hip thrust to the side, thumbs hooked in pockets.
Music up. Head flick right, wink. Hoots.
Spin to face front, pull hat brim to shade seductive/threatening stare atop a slight smirk.
Spread feet wide, jump well-worn heels to beat.
Hands slide up torso, slowly move to shirt placket.
More woofs. He was beginning to enjoy this, gaining confidence. Bigger smirk.
Big dramatic ripping action of shirt unsnapping. The reveal, as they say in fashion.
Underneath, a thin old tank shot with holes. Pull one shoulder of plaid off to show a bicep, flex it. Whistles.
Other shoulder bared, slip shirt off, requisite helicopter swing before tossing it at Mindy.
Tugs wife beater up partways to show off his ridiculous abs. Licks finger and traces a slow circle around his navel, other hand spreading over chest.
Audience gets quieter. Then, take it off three three!, roared. Tim points to Tyra, blows a kiss. Big laughs. Tyra blushes, bites her lip. Landry grimaces.
Covers the catwalk with a few sexy strides, turning and pivoting twice.
Somehow tears tank most of the way down the front. Old as hell anyway, he thought. Ripped chest partly revealed.
Another tug, and it's shredded and flying across the room to Billy's face, which shows part pride and part jealousy at his little bros performance.
Now shirtless, Timber turns upstage, drops to a spread-knee squat, resting one knee on the stage, spreads his arms, and flexes his back muscles, ending with a little shoulder shimmy, jazz hands and all.
Audience shrieks.
Timber spins on his knees to face them, pushing his hat back, finally taking it off and tossing it vertically. Drops his head, flings his long hair back, and folds hand across his chest, fluffing up his biceps. Smirks big time.
Stands up (achy knees, but don't let em see you sweat). Hook thumbs in waistband, pull it down a few inches, let 'em soak in the cut hip muscles, freaks of nature.
With one swift tug, the basketball pants come off. Love that trick. Gasps. Silence. A moment of appreciation before whoops and wolf whistles.
Hat back on, otherwise only in boots and black bikini.
Goes over to pole and swings around it lazily, once, twice, three times.
Slides spine up and down it, legs pumping, hips rocking side to side.
One-armed handstand, the other hand grabbing the pole, stay there a few moments. Harder than it looks. And hat falls off. Nobody's perfect. A few pushups to pump up.
Flips hair again seductively, prowl edge of stage to accept waved dollar bills, stuffed into waistband. Surprising take.
Some of the other strippers, who are thoroughly enjoying themselves, gather by the catwalk edge, urging him to fall into their arms, mosh pit style. He does. They paw his chest as he pulls away.
He makes his way to Mindy and begins to sit on her lap before Billy pushes him off. Fights urge to shove Billy back.
Tyra grabs him and pulls him to her, and he straddles her, gyrating a few times before pulling his waistband out, demanding a tip. Which he gets. Notices Landry is beet red and chewing fingernails.
Beginning to think this might not be a bad moonlighting job, after making fun of Mindy all the time.
Climbs back onstage. A few more struts, spins, and pole swoops, and a slow seductive walk offstage, grinning over shoulder one last time.
Several curtain calls, g-strings tossed at him. Balled up ten spots. Marriage proposals.
Bet settled, maybe a new gig. And the time of his life.