p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongMatt and Mello sitting on a tree/strong/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Matt forgot every possible date in his life. Even his birthday he remembered only on his good days./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Mello remembered many, but only one spun in his head, again and again and again...br /October 11th./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The day they first met./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongK-i-s-s-i-n-g/strong/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Midnight, maybe a few minutes past it. They sat in the circle of children, silently laughing so no adult will come to catch them. Linda spinned the bottle. It went round and round until slowly stopping, tap to her direction, bottom to Matt's./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Truth or dare?" She asked./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Dare," he answered without thinking./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Oh, everyone knew what she'll make him do. She looked cunningly to the one next to her. But why, she has the best sit in the room!/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"With an innocent face, she gave her dare. Matt's face froze, slight blush. The one next to Linda objected./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Do it, do it, do it!" Every kid cheered. The gamer, he liked the thought of it. And, he had the guts to do it in front of everyone. Now the blonde.../p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Mello didn't stop him as he came closer. Maybe his body was stiff from shock? Maybe. That's a good excuse for him./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Just when their lips touched- a gentle, smooth touch- one of the adults came in, sending everyone to bed. Matt and Mello, like the good friends they already were, escaped from the elder's fury together, laughing so hard they started stumbling. It might have lasted one second, their kiss, but it was enough to affect them for a lifetime./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongFirst comes love/strong/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Mello smiled more. Matt played less. In the free time they had, they spent it one with the other. Even if they kept their relationship a secret, it's not like their classmates didn't know what was going on. No one can simply not notice when they see a much more pleasant blonde and a much more outgoing brunette./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Run away."/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""What?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The chocoholic looked down at his boyfriend. The gamer looked up at his, still not understanding what was just suggested./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Let's run away. Me and you, out from this crap hole, live together with no need to hide anything."/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The brunette inhaled. He nodded. "OK."/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongThen comes marriage/strong/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Beautiful house on the seashore. There were no electronics, which freaked Matt out, but there was the silence, the loneliness, and only the two of them. The only things he needed./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Mello leaned on the ledge and looked at the sunset. So beautiful, as the sky became purple and red, the sea sparkling, reflecting the flaming colors of the sunset. That was probably his favorite time of the day. And the brunette knew it./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The blonde turned his head after hearing Matt cough right behind him. He stifled a gasp and covered his opened-mouth. Damn, Matt looked sexy in beach clothes. No, nothing caught his attention more than the position he was at- kneeling on one knee and smiling, a small box opened in his hands./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""No..." Mello silently whispered to himself. Of course, this was not the answer he was gonna give. He didn't speak other than that. The minute Matt opened his mouth, it was obvious he had a magnificent speech ready. But the blonde didn't allow him to talk. He fell on his knees besides him and hugged Matt tightly./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"This was the best answer he could give, and the best answer the brunette could have got./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongThen comes an abrupt, tragic miscarriage/strong/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Oh, ok... Thank you... No, I'm sorry for your loss..."/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Mello hung up and leaned forward, elbows resting on his legs. His eyes staring at the floor. He tried breathing, understanding what was just said to him. No, he couldn't believe that's what it is. He couldn't believe that actually happened. Not to him, not to Matt, not to both, not after such a long wait, not with such a great desire./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Who was it?" The brunette asked, entering the room with two cups of coffee./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Silence was the only response he got./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Mello...?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The blonde shook his head. He bit his lower lip, trying to make no sound, trying to not break and cry./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"They stood in the small office room inside their small new apartment, which they bought for a cause that now is gone. There, in the house near the beach, it was so far away from everything... Not a place to raise a baby, as they were told once when rejected by the adopting agency. After moving, they started having interviews by pregnant women. Oh, the joy in their hearts when this lady picked them. All this joy that remained until now and pushed them to work harder and never give up suddenly crashed with the simple news he just heard:/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"My fetus is... He's dead... I'm sorry, I cannot provide you a baby anymore."/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She hung up right away. Later on, her father called to talk to the blonde man. More explanation, a bit of comfort./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Mello, tell me. Now," He demanded. Mello, on the other hand, just raised his head and didn't hold back anymore. And that's all that was needed for Matt to understand the situation perfectly. So he kneeled. He kneeled and hugged Mello tightly./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongThen comes blame/strong/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Why did you drag me all the way here?!" Mello yelled. Was this their third fight this week? The neighbours even complained once./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I didn't drag you here, I came with you, damnit!" Matt followed him to the living room./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Why didn't you stop me, then?" He barked at the brunette./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Because that's what you wanted to do!" The gamer whined, trying to defend himself./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""No! I wanted to be L's successor and you know it!" The blonde took his jacket. His? It was too big for him. Probably Matt's. It had both the reek of cigarettes and the smell of cocoa./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""You yourself said that was a dream you had before we started dating!" Matt wasn't raising his voice as loud as Mello's. He had the patience not to./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""So what? You think a dream that big and important vanishes because of someone who I don't even ca-..." He stopped just for a second before grabbing the keys. "You could have said it was a bad idea."/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I don't think it's a bad idea even now, when we're fighting like this. I love you, Mello. Being with you is something I'll never regret doing."/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Mello stopped in front of the door. He couldn't go. Not now, not ever. But he had to. After all, this thing of them together is a disaster for both. "I don't care about what you regret or not. I don't care about you, either. I regret ever suggesting that stupid idea- No. I regret ever meeting you."br /br /Then left./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongThen comes despair/strong/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"None of them could take it anymore. Matt started searching after a month that the blonde didn't show up again. Mello, after half an year at least, came back. He knocked on the door. When the brunette opened it, the chocoholic was hurt from how emotionless the other seemed at seeing him on their apartment's door. Truth is, none of them could stand being apart anymore./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongtwo hearts broken beyond repair/strong/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"They've spent two weeks together by now. But what did it matter? Mello was sure that after vanishing, the brunette stopped having feelings for him, and now was simply doing him a favor by not kicking him out of the apartment. Matt was sure the blonde came back only because he didn't have a place to stay, ran out of money, or just got sick of wondering around. Not because he missed him. So the both, without really knowing it, lived under the same roof, each of them hurt, not trying to get back together in the believe the other had moved on already. This hit was so hurtful, that even thousand of video games or mountains of chocolate couldn't help. Many other men and women didn't attract them; never did, never do, never will./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongMatt leaves Mello and takes the tree/strong/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He couldn't stand it anymore. He who? Mello. And Matt, also. They just couldn't pretend any longer that it was fine, how they were- or how they thought they were./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"One day, Mello remembers it precisely, one day the blonde woke up and went to the kitchen. He expected from Matt to be sleeping on the couch, but instead of the guy he found a note:/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emI've left, for selfish reasons, for reasons that will only hurt and help myself. I know you'll be fine, I know you'll live on. I wish you nothing but luck, and be happy./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emMatt./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"So there is, the chocoholic understood. There is this something that can send your head dizzy and body shaking, crashing every little hope and dream to the ground, tears rolling so much he felt that they will never stop, and he will never smile again. An emotion so strong that makes your vision blurry, your knees weak. It gets hard to breathe. Heart beats fast, threatening to jump out of it's place, and for a few seconds, you hope it does, or else the pain will be so great you will have to rip it out yourself. Anything but to live in the cruel moment of despair and hurt./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Takes the tree"/em. What a beautiful sentence. Of course, no one will live on trees- not them, anyway. The only "tree" that was taken was his heart. Was the brunette even aware he had done that? He doubted. But Mello believed he deserved it. He believed that for every bad thing that he had ever done, especially to Matt, , all those were repaid now with his own suffering./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongD-i-v-o-r-c-e/strong/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Ten years. Ten years they haven't spoken, met, heard of each other. They were always in the other's thoughts, of course, together with questions that remained unanswered./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Where is he now? What is he doing? How is he living? Is he living with someone? Does he even remember me?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Forget it. They never received an answer. Maybe at some point they crossed each other in the street, but didn't recognize. Maybe they met each other again in dreams. Maybe one day, they will remeet in a bar, or an event, or at work. A party of mutual friends. But what they need to relax, is to know the other is good and happy. That alone will be just enough to put their soul, heart and mind in peace./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Matt forgot every possible date in his life. Even his birthday he remembered only on his good days./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Mello remembered many, but only one spun in his head, again and again and again...br /October 11th./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The day they first met./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongK-i-s-s-i-n-g/strong/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Midnight, maybe a few minutes past it. They sat in the circle of children, silently laughing so no adult will come to catch them. Linda spinned the bottle. It went round and round until slowly stopping, tap to her direction, bottom to Matt's./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Truth or dare?" She asked./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Dare," he answered without thinking./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Oh, everyone knew what she'll make him do. She looked cunningly to the one next to her. But why, she has the best sit in the room!/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"With an innocent face, she gave her dare. Matt's face froze, slight blush. The one next to Linda objected./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Do it, do it, do it!" Every kid cheered. The gamer, he liked the thought of it. And, he had the guts to do it in front of everyone. Now the blonde.../p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Mello didn't stop him as he came closer. Maybe his body was stiff from shock? Maybe. That's a good excuse for him./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Just when their lips touched- a gentle, smooth touch- one of the adults came in, sending everyone to bed. Matt and Mello, like the good friends they already were, escaped from the elder's fury together, laughing so hard they started stumbling. It might have lasted one second, their kiss, but it was enough to affect them for a lifetime./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongFirst comes love/strong/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Mello smiled more. Matt played less. In the free time they had, they spent it one with the other. Even if they kept their relationship a secret, it's not like their classmates didn't know what was going on. No one can simply not notice when they see a much more pleasant blonde and a much more outgoing brunette./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Run away."/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""What?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The chocoholic looked down at his boyfriend. The gamer looked up at his, still not understanding what was just suggested./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Let's run away. Me and you, out from this crap hole, live together with no need to hide anything."/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The brunette inhaled. He nodded. "OK."/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongThen comes marriage/strong/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Beautiful house on the seashore. There were no electronics, which freaked Matt out, but there was the silence, the loneliness, and only the two of them. The only things he needed./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Mello leaned on the ledge and looked at the sunset. So beautiful, as the sky became purple and red, the sea sparkling, reflecting the flaming colors of the sunset. That was probably his favorite time of the day. And the brunette knew it./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The blonde turned his head after hearing Matt cough right behind him. He stifled a gasp and covered his opened-mouth. Damn, Matt looked sexy in beach clothes. No, nothing caught his attention more than the position he was at- kneeling on one knee and smiling, a small box opened in his hands./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""No..." Mello silently whispered to himself. Of course, this was not the answer he was gonna give. He didn't speak other than that. The minute Matt opened his mouth, it was obvious he had a magnificent speech ready. But the blonde didn't allow him to talk. He fell on his knees besides him and hugged Matt tightly./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"This was the best answer he could give, and the best answer the brunette could have got./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongThen comes an abrupt, tragic miscarriage/strong/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Oh, ok... Thank you... No, I'm sorry for your loss..."/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Mello hung up and leaned forward, elbows resting on his legs. His eyes staring at the floor. He tried breathing, understanding what was just said to him. No, he couldn't believe that's what it is. He couldn't believe that actually happened. Not to him, not to Matt, not to both, not after such a long wait, not with such a great desire./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Who was it?" The brunette asked, entering the room with two cups of coffee./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Silence was the only response he got./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Mello...?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"The blonde shook his head. He bit his lower lip, trying to make no sound, trying to not break and cry./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"They stood in the small office room inside their small new apartment, which they bought for a cause that now is gone. There, in the house near the beach, it was so far away from everything... Not a place to raise a baby, as they were told once when rejected by the adopting agency. After moving, they started having interviews by pregnant women. Oh, the joy in their hearts when this lady picked them. All this joy that remained until now and pushed them to work harder and never give up suddenly crashed with the simple news he just heard:/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"My fetus is... He's dead... I'm sorry, I cannot provide you a baby anymore."/em/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"She hung up right away. Later on, her father called to talk to the blonde man. More explanation, a bit of comfort./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Mello, tell me. Now," He demanded. Mello, on the other hand, just raised his head and didn't hold back anymore. And that's all that was needed for Matt to understand the situation perfectly. So he kneeled. He kneeled and hugged Mello tightly./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongThen comes blame/strong/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Why did you drag me all the way here?!" Mello yelled. Was this their third fight this week? The neighbours even complained once./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I didn't drag you here, I came with you, damnit!" Matt followed him to the living room./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Why didn't you stop me, then?" He barked at the brunette./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Because that's what you wanted to do!" The gamer whined, trying to defend himself./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""No! I wanted to be L's successor and you know it!" The blonde took his jacket. His? It was too big for him. Probably Matt's. It had both the reek of cigarettes and the smell of cocoa./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""You yourself said that was a dream you had before we started dating!" Matt wasn't raising his voice as loud as Mello's. He had the patience not to./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""So what? You think a dream that big and important vanishes because of someone who I don't even ca-..." He stopped just for a second before grabbing the keys. "You could have said it was a bad idea."/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""I don't think it's a bad idea even now, when we're fighting like this. I love you, Mello. Being with you is something I'll never regret doing."/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Mello stopped in front of the door. He couldn't go. Not now, not ever. But he had to. After all, this thing of them together is a disaster for both. "I don't care about what you regret or not. I don't care about you, either. I regret ever suggesting that stupid idea- No. I regret ever meeting you."br /br /Then left./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongThen comes despair/strong/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"None of them could take it anymore. Matt started searching after a month that the blonde didn't show up again. Mello, after half an year at least, came back. He knocked on the door. When the brunette opened it, the chocoholic was hurt from how emotionless the other seemed at seeing him on their apartment's door. Truth is, none of them could stand being apart anymore./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongtwo hearts broken beyond repair/strong/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"They've spent two weeks together by now. But what did it matter? Mello was sure that after vanishing, the brunette stopped having feelings for him, and now was simply doing him a favor by not kicking him out of the apartment. Matt was sure the blonde came back only because he didn't have a place to stay, ran out of money, or just got sick of wondering around. Not because he missed him. So the both, without really knowing it, lived under the same roof, each of them hurt, not trying to get back together in the believe the other had moved on already. This hit was so hurtful, that even thousand of video games or mountains of chocolate couldn't help. Many other men and women didn't attract them; never did, never do, never will./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongMatt leaves Mello and takes the tree/strong/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He couldn't stand it anymore. He who? Mello. And Matt, also. They just couldn't pretend any longer that it was fine, how they were- or how they thought they were./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"One day, Mello remembers it precisely, one day the blonde woke up and went to the kitchen. He expected from Matt to be sleeping on the couch, but instead of the guy he found a note:/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emI've left, for selfish reasons, for reasons that will only hurt and help myself. I know you'll be fine, I know you'll live on. I wish you nothing but luck, and be happy./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"emMatt./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"So there is, the chocoholic understood. There is this something that can send your head dizzy and body shaking, crashing every little hope and dream to the ground, tears rolling so much he felt that they will never stop, and he will never smile again. An emotion so strong that makes your vision blurry, your knees weak. It gets hard to breathe. Heart beats fast, threatening to jump out of it's place, and for a few seconds, you hope it does, or else the pain will be so great you will have to rip it out yourself. Anything but to live in the cruel moment of despair and hurt./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Takes the tree"/em. What a beautiful sentence. Of course, no one will live on trees- not them, anyway. The only "tree" that was taken was his heart. Was the brunette even aware he had done that? He doubted. But Mello believed he deserved it. He believed that for every bad thing that he had ever done, especially to Matt, , all those were repaid now with his own suffering./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"strongD-i-v-o-r-c-e/strong/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Ten years. Ten years they haven't spoken, met, heard of each other. They were always in the other's thoughts, of course, together with questions that remained unanswered./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""Where is he now? What is he doing? How is he living? Is he living with someone? Does he even remember me?"/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Forget it. They never received an answer. Maybe at some point they crossed each other in the street, but didn't recognize. Maybe they met each other again in dreams. Maybe one day, they will remeet in a bar, or an event, or at work. A party of mutual friends. But what they need to relax, is to know the other is good and happy. That alone will be just enough to put their soul, heart and mind in peace./p