Heya, everybody! This little idea began as a simple, one shot song fic, but you know how these things go... (shrugs shoulders) So, much to the prodding of someone who will remain anonymous... (glares at Essy) I broke this in half. It takes place right after Endgame, and the rating is subject to change, cause Alex has such a foul mouth... Enjoy, and please remember to review!
Disclaimer: Not mine! Not mine! (looks at Essy, who shakes head) Still not mine!
This chapter is dedicated to Essy, who poked and prodded at me to finish this, and cause she wants to see more of Alex's mental angst. Love ya, chicky!
Tears stung at his eyes as he sped down the highway. "Come on, Eames. Answer the phone," he pleaded, but she didn't answer. With a cry of frustration, he threw the phone onto the passenger's seat, then gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.
He didn't know where he was going. All that he cared was that it was taking him far away from everything. From the pain of his mother's death, from the anguish of not even knowing who he was, and from the guilt he felt for shoving away the only person who was even willing to help him beyond a pat on the back and an, "It'll be okay."
He saw the New Jersey state line, and he didn't care. He was exhausted, and even the moon seemed to glare down accusingly at him. His head slipped down. He was so tired.
Jerking his head back up at the sound of horns wailing and tires screeching, he saw the headlights coming straight at him. Too late, he grabbed the wheel and desperately clawed at it, willing the car to go in another direction. Any direction.
Suddenly the SUV swerved to the right, and all that could be heard was the squealing of the tires as the SUV disappeared over the steep incline on the side of the road. The vehicle rolled twice, three times. After the fourth, it jerked to a stop, and all was silent.
I open my eyes, I try to see but I'm blinded
By the white light
I can't remember how, I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain, and I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
Got nowhere to run
The night goes on as I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life, I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
"Bobby!" Alex cried as she bolted upright in her bed. Her room was dark and silent, and her chest heaved as she tried to clear her mind of the horrific nightmare.
In the dream, or nightmare, rather, Bobby had been driving down an empty strip of highway. Suddenly a car had traveled his way, and he had lost control of the SUV and skidded off of the side of the road. The vehicle had rolled several times before coming to a stop with terrifying silence.
She had never been a believer in the truth of dreams, but this one had her reaching for her cell phone.
Just as her fingertips brushed the familiar plastic, her house phone rang, making her gasp and then scold herself for the knee jerk reaction. "Eames," she said into the mouth piece.
Good morning, darlin', Mike drawled, and Alex exhaled noisily."What do you want, Mike?"
Ross needs us down at a crime scene.
She sighed and grunted her affirmation, then hung the phone up. Shakily, she climbed out of her bed and pulled on a pair of jeans and her sneakers, then grabbed her cell phone.
As she walked out her front door, she wondered where her partner was, and how he was doing.
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"There you are," Mike said as she walked up to the cordoned crime scene and ducked under the yellow tape.
She nodded briefly at him, then asked, "Where's your partner?"
Mike shrugged his shoulders and gestured his hands in the air. "Something about a sick niece. Anyways, we've got a thirty two year old male. His skull was crushed with what looks like a hammer."
She blanched and crouched down next to the body, but before she could get a good look at the body, her cell phone rang. With a somewhat relieved sigh, she stood up and dug into her pocket, retrieving the phone.
"Eames."
Is this detective Alex Eames? a female voice inquired, and Alex's brow furrowed."Yes. Who is this?"
This is Dr. Samantha Jensen, at Walker Hospital. I'm calling in regards to Robert Goren. Do you know him?
Alex's stomach instantly dropped to her feet, and she swallowed thickly several times before saying, "Yes, I know him. He's my… he's my partner."
Detective Eames, I'm very sorry-
"Oh God. Please tell me he's not dead. Please," she begged, ignoring the strange and worried glances she was receiving from Mike.
Mr. Goren is in a very critical condition. Would it be possible for you to come down here? the doctor inquired.She didn't need to ask twice. "Where is he?"
As soon as Dr. Jensen gave her the address, Alex shut the phone and shoved it into her pocket. Then she took off to her car, leaving behind a very confused and worried Mike as she sped out of the parking lot.
The hospital that Bobby was in was over two hours away, and as Alex reached the New York state line, she gripped the steering wheel and began to pray.
"Please, please God, let him be okay," she pleaded, squinting against the light of the rising sun. Suddenly anger swelled within her, and she stared off into the horizon as she said, "God, you took Joe away from me. You can't take Bobby, too! You can't!"
She slammed her hands against the steering wheel and let out a sob. "Damn it, I can't lose him! I can't lose him!" She was quickly surprised and overwhelmed by her anger and possessiveness of the man that she had come to think the world of.
She continued to rant until her anger was spent, and when it finally was, she felt guilty for being angry with God, even if all she could see were the bad things that had been happing to her and Bobby lately.
She finally took a deep and calming breath. "Please, God," she pleaded. "Please, don't take him, and I swear… I swear I'll take care of him. I'll take care of him, and I'll love him until the day I die. Please, don't take him now. Please."
She sniffed and wiped the tears away, then continued to focus on the lines ahead of her. I'm coming, Bobby, she thought.
Everybody's screaming, I try to make a sound
But no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge, I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me?
I've made my mistakes
Got nowhere to run
The night goes on as I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life, I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
She barely remembered to turn the car off as she jumped out of the vehicle and nearly ran to the entrance of the hospital. Stepping through the automatic doors, she shivered slightly at the blast of cold air that greeted her.
Despite the fact that it was only eight in the morning, the hospital was incredibly busy. As she walked to the reception desk, she saw nearly a dozen injured or ill people out of the corner of her eye.
A warm receptionist looked up at her, and Alex said, "I'm looking for Robert Goren."
"Do you have any I.D., ma'am?" the woman asked politely, and after Alex flashed her badge, she quickly began tapping on the keyboard in front of her.
"Ah. Mr. Goren is in… I.C.U. I'm sorry," the woman said sympathetically. Alex's face dropped, and the receptionist quickly said, "Just take the elevator to the third floor. You'll be able to see it from there."
Mumbling a quick thank you, Alex headed in the direction of the elevator, stepped inside as someone stepped out, and quickly pushed the button for the third floor. The doors closed slowly, and Alex's eyes remained glued to the doors until they reopened, allowing her to step out.
The receptionist was right. As soon as she stepped out, she immediately saw the I.C.U. wing, and she walked quickly and with purpose. She was a woman on a mission, and nothing or no one would deter her. Finally reaching the nurse's station, she eyed a tired looking nurse before saying, "I'm looking for Robert Goren."
"And you are?" the tired nurse asked, and Alex gritted her teeth and flashed her badge.
"I'm his partner. Now, where is he?" she repeated, and the nurse looked at her ruefully before checking the computer in front of her.
"He's in room 318. Just over there. His doctor will be there to talk with you in a little while." The nurse pointed to a room about twenty feet away, and Alex spun on her heel and quickly approached the room, her heart rate increasing with each step she took.
She had always hated the sounds and smells of a hospital, but as soon as she walked through the door, everything else faded away. The room was fairly dark and filled with machines, but she was instinctively drawn to him. As though she had been there before with him.
Machines beeped incessantly, but the sound of her own heart racing as she looked at him for the first time drowned the sound out.
"God, Bobby. What the hell happened to you?" she breathed, laying one small hand timidly on his chest. He didn't stir at her voice or touch, and that terrified her.
"He was in a car accident," a deep voice stated, and Alex whirled around, but kept her hand on Bobby's chest in a sign of protectiveness. A white male in his forties appeared in the room, the white coat he was wearing telling Alex that he was Bobby's doctor.
"I didn't know," she stated softly, her hand remaining on her partner's chest. "I would have been here sooner."
The man took another step closer to Alex, extending his hand to her. "I'm Dr. Jacobs."
She shook his hand reluctantly. "Alex Eames." She released his hand and motioned to Bobby. "He's my partner, and my… my best friend." She drew in a harried breath. "I don't want to beat around the bush. I was told that his condition was critical. Is my partner going to be all right?"
Jacobs immediately liked the petite, five foot two inch, very protective woman in front of him. She seemed like a no nonsense woman, and he hated to have to tell her what he was going to tell her.
"All right, fair enough. You were informed correctly. Mr. Goren's condition is not very hopeful. From what we can gather, he lost control of the vehicle, and it flipped several times. The good thing was that he had been wearing a seat belt. If he had not, it is most likely that he would have been thrown from the vehicle and killed on impact."
Alex shivered as images of a morgue and identifying her best friend's body flashed through her mind. She steadied her fingers over his beating heart, allowing the steady rhythm to send a soothing calm coursing through her veins.
"He's suffering from massive internal bleeding. There were many complications during the surgery, along with head trauma."
"Is he in pain?" she asked suddenly.
The doctor looked over at Bobby, then rubbed his temple with his fingertips. "I'm afraid that that is all he's feeling right now, ma'am."
She shivered again, and her hand slowly moved from his chest down to his hand. As she bit her lip, her fingers curled around his hand, and she couldn't help but wonder if the contact was causing him more pain.
"Will he… Is he going to wake up?" she questioned softly, her thumb running along Bobby's knuckles.
The frown that appeared on his face sent her reeling, and he said bluntly, "We're not sure that he will, Miss Eames."
Suddenly the room began to spin, and she sank down into the chair beside Bobby's bed. "Oh my God, Bobby," she whimpered, her free hand reaching over to gently stroke his damp curls. She heard the doctor leave, but she didn't care. All of her attention was completely focused on the man in the bed beside her.
"Bobby."
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The chapel was surprisingly empty, and Alex felt a cold chill run down her spine as she thought of another time when she had stood in the chapel of a hospital. When she had prayed for the life of another.
As she walked down the center of the pews, she dragged her fingertips along the cool wood, keeping her eyes on the floor until she reached the front of the room.
When she finally had the strength to look up, she found herself face to face with a large crucifix. Suddenly the severity of everything slammed into her, and she dropped to one knee in front of the wooden cross.
Bowing her head, Alex felt herself repeating the same prayer she had said in the car. "Please, God. Please, don't take him. Just let him live, and I'll take care of him. I swear, I'll take care of him and love him for the rest of my life. I swear," she mumbled before rising unsteadily to her feet.
She stood there for a few more minutes, reflecting on the past seven years, on how her life had changed since a certain brown eyed, tenderhearted man had walked into it.
Glancing at the cross one final time, she turned around on her heel and walked out of the chapel, hoping that God had heard and answered her prayer.
I've made my mistakes, got nowhere to run
The night goes on as I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life, I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
TBC...
A/N: (ducks flaming left shoes and sporks) Eep! Don't worry, everyone! I've got the story almost finished, so don't worry! And the song used there is the Simple Plan song Untitled (How Could This Happen To Me?) Please review while I put Alex through more angst!