Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. If I did the Break-Up would not exist.

Also, this is my second Klaine fic yo! I'm so proud of myself for finally finishing it! :D

What Kurt expected was Blaine to be late for dinner because of a phone call he received ten minutes earlier. What he wasn't expecting that the reason for his husband's tardiness was because of a snake.

He was heading towards the dining table with a bowl of spaghetti when Blaine burst through the door of their apartment, a wild grin on his face and sweat on his brow.

"Kurt! Guess what!" he said, a little breathless as if he ran the whole way home.

"That it's almost 7:30 and we haven't eaten—," Kurt began, but stopped when he realized Blaine was holding a shoebox in his arms. "Or that you got new shoes…?"

"Better!" Blaine's grin broadened. He went up to Kurt and opened the lid slowly.

The second Kurt saw what was inside, he screamed.

"BLAINE!" he yelled while backing away frantically. "GET THAT THING OUT OF HERE!"

"This thing has a name," Blaine said, shutting the lid and bringing the box with the snake closer to him. "And his name is Ronald!"

"Ronald?" Oh, great. He named it which means he'll have to keep it.

"Yes. And I'll teach him tricks and I'll feed him every day, I promise!" Blaine vowed, placing the box on a kitchen counter and opening it again so he could lift the snake out himself.

It was a slender thing, with reddish-brown scales and orange square blotches all along its back. Its black eyes stared at Kurt as its tail slide around Blaine's hands.

Kurt set his jaw and said firmly to his husband, "No."

And that's when Blaine pulled out Plan B: he looked straight at Kurt and made his biggest, most innocent puppy eyes ever.

He knew Kurt won't remain strong long enough to win this battle now. He watched as Kurt's eyes softened and his top teeth bite down on his lower lip, probably trying to figure out how to get out of this situation.

Defeated, Kurt sighed while running a hand through his brown hair. "I don't know why I would want children. I mean, I already have you and you're basically the same thing."

"So is that a 'yes' or 'no' on keeping Ronald?" was all Blaine asked.

"Yes, okay, fine. But seriously of he ends up anywhere other than that box he's gone!"

Blaine's face broke into another smile. "Oh, yay! Thank you!" He reached out with his free hand to pull Kurt into a hug, but his husband pushed him away.

"Please don't let that thing—I mean, snake, near me," he begged.

"Ronald," Blaine corrected. "And very well. C'mon, Ronald! I'll show you around the apartment!" He happily carried the snake towards the center of their small kitchen.

"This is the kitchen," Blaine told the snake with a grin, holding Ronald up for a better view. "I bake your daddy Kurt cookies here!"

"I'm not his 'daddy', Blaine!"

Blaine chose to ignore that statement and continued giving his new pet a tour. "Over here is the coat closet, where you'll probably be sleeping, sorry. This is the living room with our awesome new flat-screen. And this is our bedroom…you're not allowed in there…"

That night Blaine kept his promise and put Ronald back in his box and set him inside the coat closet. He even placed some chicken nuggets with the snake incase he got hungry. ("Do you even know if snakes eat chicken, Blaine?" "They eat meat, don't they?") Everyone went to bed peacefully.

The green numbers of their alarm clock read 12:42 when Kurt awoke from his sleep. At first, he wasn't quite sure why he had woken up. Blaine was sound asleep beside him, his arm draped around Kurt's waist. The bedroom was completely still, minus the curtains silently fluttering from breeze. There was no unusual sound coming from the partially opened window—except for the typical noises from traffic.

Everything was normal—

Wait.

He felt something on his bare leg. Whatever it was, it was cold and smooth and sliding up past his boxer-briefs and to his chest…

Suddenly Panicked, Kurt flung the cream-colored comforter off his body to find a small orange and red head with black eyes staring directly at him from on top of Kurt's stomach.

Kurt shrieked the closest thing one would describe as bloody murder. He frantically kicked his legs and flailed his arms in attempt to get this snake off of him.

Blaine woke immediately after his husband's first scream and was welcomed with a knee in the abdomen. He got knocked off the bed, dragging the comforter and Ronald along with him.

"Kurt! What's wrong?" Blaine asked breathlessly, scrambling to his feet.

"What's wrong?" Kurt yelled, still in a state of terror. "Your demon snake was slithering on my body!"

Blaine blinked, "Wha…?" He looked down at his feet and saw the creature slinking his way towards the door again. His shoulders relaxed and he casually walked over to pick Ronald back up. "C'mon, Kurt, he didn't know any better!"

As he started to come towards his husband, Kurt snatched the comforter off the floor and wrapped it around himself to serve as some kind of shield. "No, Blaine! I told you, if he got out of his box, he's gone!"

"Aw, Kurt!" Blaine made those big, innocent eyes again. "He's harmless! Just look at his cute lil' face!"

He held Ronald out to Kurt's face. Clearly, a huge mistake since Kurt screamed again scooted back to the headboard and clutched his blanket tighter around himself.

"It's a wild animal, Blaine!"

"He's just homeless—!"

"You found him in a river."

Ronald flicked out his tongue to Kurt and kept his beady, black eyes fixed on him. Blaine cradled him like he was just a pure little puppy.

It was actually an amusing sight to see: Blaine with his hair in curls instead of gelled back in nothing but his boxers and holding a wild snake like a baby."He's still harmless! It's not like he attacked you, Kurt!"

"But Blaine," Kurt said flatly. "I hate snakes."

Blaine frowned sadly. "But—"

"Blaine."

He dipped his head. "Okay," he sighed. "I'll put him back." With exaggerated slowness, Blaine started to walk out of the room with Ronald still coiling around his wrists.

"Wait, Blaine!" Kurt called out just as he heard his husband open the front door. "You're only wearing—!"

The door slammed shut. Blaine must've been too depressed or whatever to notice that his outfit only included his underwear.

Kurt closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headboard. His mouth twitched into a smile as he imagined what people's reactions will be to witnessing Blaine walking half-naked, alone, towards a river in a park, in the middle of the night, with that devil of a snake.

A/N: THANK YOU THANK YOU so much for reading this silly story of mine! Please review if ya please, I love hearing feedback! And thanks again for reading! :D