Disclaimer: I do not own Glee
I was asked to write of how I feel, about being an openly gay student. Then I would read it out loud in front of the school. I said yes, and I don't know why... Wait yes I do, I want them to hear the pain I'm in.
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The senior class were in the gym and the other classrooms were going to hear me from the speaker in the rooms. The whole school will be listening to me. The teachers were sitting down with their classes, but glee they all were in the front row. I looked that them waiting for me to go on. I took a breath in, and walked up on stage. I took out my paper, looked at the back wall, and started to talk.
"Dear you guys of McKinley high, I'm going to tell you about my life. I always been gay, ever since I can remember. And ever since I can remember I always got hate. I remember holding back my tears because no one would play with me, that my best friend was my mom. Then I turned eight, and a drunk driver killed her. It was just me and my dad. I still got picked on, but I never told my dad. He had other and bigger problems to take care of. The names and people got meaner over time," I started.
"Now fast forward to high school. I'm called more hurtful names, I get slushies' thrown at me, pushed into lockers, and I was thrown in the dumpster. But one day last year I was told to kill myself by the guys on all the sport teams. I was given a petition, pills, rope, razors, and a paper of how to commit suicide correct, all in the same day. So that day I went home took the pills with beer and sat down to watch TV and wait. Then my dad came home, I went up stairs and fell, I got too dizzy. He called 911, but I was already dying. I remember having to hear my dad's heart breaking sobs asking god not to take away his son, the person he loves with all his heart."
"I remember waking up to my dad crying in his sleep, and he was sleep talking. He said 'no Kurt don't leave me I need you, I love you.' I woke him up, we hugged, cried, and I promise I wouldn't do that ever again, but that doesn't mean I can't think about it. Think about ways to commit suicide without pills and beer. I hate myself so much at times I forget to think about my dad, and only think about the pain I'm in. Think of how the world would be better without me. It's not like anyone would fall in love with me. I'm just a nasty, pathetic, dirty fag that belongs in the trash."
"I have to tell you guys something's. I'm a cutter. I cut every single day, and way too much too much to count the cuts. I almost commit suicide three more times, but then something would ruin it for me. You want to know what I hate? That is if I do commit suicide I would just become a statistic, but at the same time I would be happy that I did died. Then I would be free. I'm not the 99.9 percent of you guys, my bullying is not just a high school thing. I will be hated for being me, for liking guys instead of girls. I wish I could change, but I can't, and I hate myself so much because of that."
"Just like you I wish I was dead, that I can just leave and never come back. I'm sorry that I'm not strong enough to kill myself. I'm sorry for being gay. Sorry for living, being born. I'm truly deeply sorry, hopefully one day soon I will be six feet under ground. Yours truly the school fag, Kurt."
Once I finished on one clapped, but I did hear sobs. I finally looked at some faces. I looked at the football team, glee and other random students, moat had faces of horror, sadness, and some were crying. I ignored them, I walked off the stage and out the gym not turning around. I left with my letter to McKinley High School on the stage floor.
A/N: Kurt is in his senior year when this was going on and he never met Blaine. The Glee member's are in season three (but Blaine)
Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.
Thanks for reading! Hope you like it!