Olivia lay sleeping in the crib. Serena was out drinking as usual. Little Olivia was all alone.
"Olivia, my office. Now." Cragen's voice echoed through the station.
"Yeah Cap?" She asked popping her head in.
"Olivia, I think you should come in and sit down." He suggested as a man closed the door behind her. "Your mother had an accident." Those were the last words she remembered hearing from that conversation. Her mother had died. Her mother had been drunk.
"What's for dinner?" That should have been Olivia asking her mother. Instead, her mother would demand dinner be ready when she got home. Whenever that was. Olivia had learned to have a salad in the fridge at all times so that whenever mama got home there was something quick she could throw on a plate while she speedily prepared the rest of the meal. This was how to avoid being punished.
Elliot heard a thud and jolted awake. "Damn." He muttered. He'd been having a nice dream. He and Olivia had been on the beach. What could be better than a nice ocean fantasy?
"See, she's got the right idea. Leave the father's side blank." She remembered Munch's comment. It had been innocent. He hadn't known. She remembered her cheeks flushing. She was ashamed, of course. She was the daughter of a monster; a rapist. She often wondered why her mother had gone through with the pregnancy.
"Don't touch me! No!" She could hear her mother scream as she slept. Olivia would bury her face in the covers. These were the moments she was being conceived. These were the sounds of her mother reliving them. She hated herself. Ever day she'd look at herself knowing that every time her mother had to lay eyes on her she could see the monster who hurt her. That monster was a part of her. At least that was what she thought.
Olivia was far from a beach. She was equally far from a fantasy. She was trapped in a nightmare, tossing and turning, moaning.
"I hate him for what he did to you." She remembered telling her mother that. But her mother was right. She was here because of him. She hated him for that too. Sure she grew up without a father, but why couldn't he have died saving a family from a fire? Why couldn't he have been anything but what he was? Or, why was her mother an alcoholic? Couldn't she get at least one decent parent? The answer was no. She was stuck with what she got. With what she was; the daughter of a rapist and a drunk. Some genes, she really hit the jackpot eh?
"Please don't hurt me anymore!" Olivia would beg. "Please, you're hurting me!" Her mama was drunk again.
"Get out!" Her mother yelled. "But mama, it's winter!" Olivia's eyes grew wide as she scooted deeper into her closet. "GO!" Serena screamed. "NOW!" Olivia had no choice. The seven year old went out to the back porch which was fenced in. She pulled her sleeves trying to get warm but she couldn't. She sighed almost completely numb. "I'm sorry Mama." She whispered through her chattering teeth and blue lips. She closed her eyes and fought the wave of exhaustion as hard as she could. "Please." She begged one more time before falling asleep.
Elliot heard her begging and he heard her pain. He debated waking her up but decided not to. He wanted to know more about her past. Besides, if he woke her he might scare her.
TBC if you guys want. Reviews let me know.
Hannah+