Love Hurts
Jack sat alone in his apartment, wondering what exactly had driven her from him so quickly. Was it my confession of having had feelings for her? he wondered, running his hand through his dark hair. Or was it the biggie –that I love her? He'd never had cause to feel ashamed of what he felt for her before. No matter what happened, it had always been something positive. Something joyous. Even when they couldn't be together. Now that she was gone, he had to wonder if falling for her wasn't the worst thing that had ever happened to him.
He supposed maybe it was just a timing thing – telling her of Valentine's Day had seemed like the most romantic notion in the world when he'd thought it up. Years of touch, of emotion, of innuendo – it had just seemed natural with the news their jobs would no longer be in the way. What would it have felt like to someone who hadn't been expecting it, though? Jack sighed quietly, closing his eyes as he laid his head back on the sofa. What if she hadn't been wanting it as much as I had?
It hadn't been something he'd really considered happening. Sure, he knew she might be not be interested, that she might not want to pursue a relationship with him because of their differences. However, the actual idea that she didn't want him kind of hit him hard when he let himself consider what it meant.
Pushing himself up from the sofa, Jack paced to the window, his thoughts with the woman who'd left so abruptly after his admission. He wished he could take the words back and have her there with him now, but 'love' had been the only way he could describe what he felt for her. He'd loved her, had for a very long time, and thought that she loved him too.
This certainly wouldn't be the first Valentine's Day that he'd spent alone – by choice or by unfortunate circumstance considering the job he held. However, Jack just couldn't force himself to find a way to pass the time. All he seemed to be doing was wondering just where, exactly, his night had gone wrong.
They'd had a bond as friends that surpassed anything he'd ever had with another woman. They could talk about everything as well as comfortable not talking about anything at all. Whether it was a Redskins game with the gang or dinner out at a restaurant with just the two of them, they always had a great time together.
"I love her," Jack stated softly to himself in the darkness, shaking his head a little at his folly. Eventually, he'd have to get over it, get used to just being her friend again. However, right then, at that moment, he still felt that tingly rush of love at picturing her, and thinking back on everything they'd done together, everything they'd meant to one another.
Turning, Jack sulked to the deserted kitchen and peered into the fridge. His heart twisted as he saw the leftovers of the meal she'd made for them and hadn't gotten to eat. With a moan, he remembered another almost heavenly casserole she'd prepared and knew this one would be just as good, but he couldn't bring himself to eat it without her. Nevertheless, he couldn't force himself to throw it out either.
Snatching a soda from the top shelf, he leaned back against the counter, finally admitting to himself that he was hurting. It should have been obvious – probably was – but as a man, it was hard to admit something like that, that someone had the power over him to make him feel that way.
If only we could have talked it out! He slammed his fist against the cabinets in frustration. She'd left him like a scared rabbit fleeing a rabid wolf, but Jack didn't feel much like a wolf right now. More like a wounded bird, he thought, slightly melodramatic.
Raising the can to his lips, Jack swallowed a healthy amount of the cool liquid, feeling it settle into his distressed insides. Laying his hand against his chest, the pain he felt there was almost unbearable. A part of him wanted to say it was just hunger pangs from not eating all day, but he knew better. His heart was breaking, and there was nothing he could do about it.
Dropping the half-empty soda into the sink, Jack sagged heavily against the counter, his head in his hands. He didn't know how he was going to make it the next few minutes, let alone the rest of his life without her.
Standing, he squared his shoulders knowing that he'd been through worse – terrorists, drug dealers, killers – he could handle this too, one day at a time. A muffled noise at the front door started him, and Jack slowly made his way back into the main room, ready for anything.
Anything except her.
"Hi," Jack said breathlessly, taking in her features. Almost afraid he was dreaming, he found that his words stuck in his throat. The weight of his feelings came crashing down on him at seeing her again and not a single sound came out. "Um…are you okay?" he forced through the lump in his chest.
"I…" she started tentatively. Lowering her eyes to the floor, she took a deep breath and began again. "I'm sorry."
"No, no, it's not your fault…" Jack assured her sincerely, his eyes tender as they met hers when he took a step forward uncertainly.
"Wait!" she commanded, putting her delicate hand up to stop him. Jack felt the knife in his heart dig deeper into his chest as she backed away. "Wait until you hear what I'm apologizing for," she told him firmly.
Jack didn't think he could wait, but he did. He wasn't ready to hear whatever kind of excuses or reasons she'd managed to come up with while he was gone. The pain of her abandonment was still too raw.
"I'm sorry I left," she started slowly, her voice shaky while she held his gaze. "I'm sorry that I ran from your feelings. And…and…I'm sorry that it's taken me this long to figure out just what you mean to me," she confessed quietly.
If Jack couldn't believe his ears, he had no trouble confirming the information with what he saw in her eyes. The love shining from their depths was as beautiful as the deepest ocean. To him, the world ceased to exist and it was just the two of them, alone in his living room.
"I love you, Jackson Samuel Hudson, and I want to be your wife, if you'll still have me."
Words became impossible for the dark-haired agent as he crossed the distance between them. Almost as if his body was acting on remote, he pulled her into his arms. With a deep moan, he pressed his lips to hers, capturing them and tasting them thoroughly.
When he pulled away several minutes later, Jack looked into her bright eyes. Though he could never fully comprehend the overwhelming joy he felt, he wanted to cry from the rooftops. She'd just made him the happiest man in the world and he was going to spend the rest of his life making sure he kept her just as happy.
"We'll have to call our parents," she grinned, leaning her forehead against his, not wanting to be out of his arms just yet.
"Tomorrow," Jack smiled, kissing her nose tenderly. "Tonight, I get to spend some time pampering the future Mrs. Jack Hudson."
"I like the sound of that," she smirked, pulling him close as she laid her head on his chest. "Happy Valentine's Day, Jack."
"Happy Valentine's Day," he replied softly into her hair. "I love you, Allie."
THE END