Mourning My Loss ©

By: Oracle Of Magic

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the BTVS characters, they are the property of Joss Whedon, and Mutant Enemy productions. No copyright infringement is intended. I am writing this story purely for enjoyment.

Rating: R. for language and adult themes.

Summary: This fic is set after the end of season 6, but before the beginning of season 7. Willow is still at Buffy's trying to deal with the pain of losing Tara.

Spoilers: Up through the end of season 6, and all the previous seasons.

Dedication: I am dedicating this story to my sister Lorin. I know you have been through some tough times, and this story is about overcoming the odds, which you have done. And unconditional love, which is what I have for you, sis. I love and accept you just the way you are, always will. For all those reasons, this story is for you sis.

Note: This entire fic is written in Willow's POV. I forgot to mention that earlier. I hope this clarifies things some. Also, when Tara was murdered, Willow, while completely shattered, did not go on a killing rampage.

Special Thanks: To my husband Bert, for giving my the courage to write this. And to all the other people on "The Kitten The Witch & The Bad Wardrobe". And finally, special thanks to David, my dear friend, muse, and beta. Thank you my friend, you are truly a great friend, and writer.

Chapter 1

I'm in mourning, of course I don't feel good. It's only natural, it's only been two months, two months since she was taken from me. No I can't start to cry, I have the day to get through, and if I start, I don't know when I'll stop. It's supposed to hurt like this, everyone tells me that, it always hurts when you lose someone you love.

The mental pain is so bad I squeeze my eyes shut and try to send it away. I've ended up curled into a ball in the corner, banging my head against the wall. Maybe I can transfer it to physical pain, at least there's something I can take for that.

She died in my arms, she was standing there, then a gunshot, and a splotch of red appeared on her shirt. She said something, she was so surprised, then she fell. I raced over and tried to help, but it was too late, she died in my arms. Her blood seeping onto my clothes, she looked at me as she took her last breath.

I can see it so clearly, I can feel it, it's like I'm back there again. I can smell the blood, taste it in my mouth, feel the tears stinging as they start to flow down my cheeks. My stomach lurches. Oh fuck, not now, not again.

I grab my stomach, trying to hold down the contents. I can't give in, I can't. The blood, oh god the blood. Her eyes looking up at me in an eternal lifeless stare. The images are too much, I can't take it.

I race to the bathroom and fall to my knees, my stomach heaving up it's contents. I can't take this much longer, my throat is burning, I can't breathe. Finally I start dry heaving, there's nothing left.

My body is shaking, I fall back against the tub, trying not to pass out. I lay there half propped up against the tub, one hand on my stomach, the other on my head. My head is swirling in darkness, it's threatening to consume me. My stomach is aching, not just from being sick, but from something deeper. The loss.

I struggle forward and flush the toilet. I stand up and grip the counter for balance. I need all the balance I can get right now. I start to splash water on my face, and light some incense to cover the evidence of my body betraying me.

I continue splashing water on my face, hoping the cold sting will divert my tattered mind. I look at the mirror, trying to get myself presentable at least. Finally deciding I look okay, I walk out into my room.

I tug off my shirt and pull out a clean one, tossing the old one on an ever growing pile of laundry. Then I notice something out of the corner of my eye. It's a picture of us at the park, it was taken just a few months before she was taken from me. Back when I was Willow, not this burnt out shell.

The images of the last few days we had together, and the images of her death. The fact her life drained away, in this very room prove too much for me. I start to cry, the sobs wracking my body. I slowly sink to the ground, crying out my very soul. "Tara, why did they take you from me?"

Chapter 2

This is how my friends find me, in a pile on the floor, a sobbing puddle. I hear the knock on the door and try to ignore it. Maybe they'll think I'm not here. Whoever it was just kept knocking, it was annoying, I want to be left alone in my grief.

"Go away!" I shout. It doesn't work though, and the door opens. Damn, I forgot to lock it. Buffy steps in and races over towards me.

"God Willow, are you ok?" concern shows in her face, and I know she wants to help, but I don't know how she can. The love of my life was taken from me, I can't bring her back.

"I'm fine," I manage to choke out in between sobs. I try to pull myself together, wiping away my tears. It's clear from the look she gives me that she doesn't believe me. I should have known, we've been friends for over 6 years now, we've grown up together. And no matter what, she's always been there for me.

"Willow, let me help," she says gently. She holds her arms open and out to me, I can't take it anymore, I need a shoulder to cry on.

"Please,' I whisper. I know it's cryptic, but she understands, she's my best friend. She walked over and pulls me into a hug. I wrap my arms around her and let her hold me. I need to be held, I just need to be held.

She pulls me close and talks softly, calming words, she's almost babbling. Hey, that's my job, but it's working. I start to sob, letting my tears flow freely, she doesn't shy away, just holds me. And that is what I need. I need to feel safe and loved.

I don't know how long we sat there, I lost track of time. It must have been uncomfortable, but she never showed it. Finally I cried myself out. I sighed, and relaxed slightly. "Thanks."

"Always, you know that," she answered me. "You look like you need to rest." I nod my head. She gently helps me up, her arms showing no effort as she does so, must be that slayer strength. "Why don't you go change into PJ's and I'll get your bed ready."

"K," I reply. I grab a pair of boxer shorts and a t-shirt. It was one of Tara's favorite shirts, I wear it to keep her close. God how I miss her. I start to cry, but I can't. My body just doesn't have anymore tears left.

I walk into the bathroom and quickly change. I'm all cried out, but the ache in my heart hasn't lessened, I doubt it ever will. When Tara died, she took half of me with her.

I shuffle out into my room and see that Buffy's pulled back the covers for me. I give her a weak smile. I walk over and sit on the edge of the bed. I don't know what to do. She gives me a quick hug. "It's ok, we're all here for you," she says quietly. She hands me a glass of water, which I drink rapidly. I didn't even realize I was thirsty. But somehow she knew.

Buffy is a really good friend, no, more than that. She's more like the big sister I never had. She helps me lay down and tucks me in, handing me my favorite stuffed animal to help me sleep. "Just rest, it'll be ok, we'll get through this together," she says. "I can stay here while you sleep if you'd like."

I ponder that for a minute, I know she has things to do. But it would feel so nice to know she's there. Then again, I don't want to trouble her. On the other hand, I need someone to sit with me. I mean I want someone to sit with me. I mean, I'm babbling now. Ok Rosenberg, get control of yourself.

I can see Buffy watching the emotions play across my face. It's no use trying to mask them, I'm no good at that stuff. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Right now it's bleeding down my sleeve.

"If you don't mind, I think I'll grab a few of my books and study in here. Dawn, Anya and Xander are playing some board game, and they don't know the meaning of the word quiet," Buffy mentions softly.

I smile. "Thanks." I know she's just doing this to make me feel better. And in truth, it really does. She flips on the cd player to a song she knows helps me sleep. I close my eyes, and try to sleep.

Part 3

I must have fallen asleep, because when I look at the clock it's past noon. Buffy's still there, reading through one of her history books. "You didn't have to stay," I say.

"Not a problem," she answers. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," I answer. She grins, I can tell she's relieved.

"That's good, I'll have Dawn bring in lunch," she says. Dawn cooking? What strange world am I in? Buffy must have sensed that, because she broke into a full smile. "I know just what you mean. Xander made lunch."

"In that case, sure, bring it on," I answer, suddenly hungry. Buffy stands up and walks out the door, returning a few minutes later with Dawn, and what looks like edible food. That shocks me, then I remember Xander cooked. Ok, not quite as strange now.

Lunch is a very simple affair, sandwiches and soup. Afterwards Buffy and Dawn go out to do some errands, but not before checking to make sure I am ok. Truth is, I just need some time alone.

I slip on my robe and pad slowly around the room. It hurts, it hurts so bad. Everything reminds me of her, of what I lost. I don't know how time flew by so fast, but Buffy sticks her head in and tells me dinner's ready.

I walk downstairs and grab a plate, then head back upstairs to my room. I sit there eating in silence, not even tasting the food as it slides down my throat. I take my dishes down to the kitchen and quickly wash them.

Back in my room I can feel the tide of fear rising, it happens every night. Night is when I miss her the most. I can't face sleeping without her there to hold. To say goodnight to. Some of my worst moments are at night.

I take two Advil PM's, I know I shouldn't still be taking the stuff. I was just supposed to take it for a few nights. But I can't help it, I can't sleep on my own. I know it has long term effects, but right now I'm just worried about making it through the night.

I sit on my bed, trying to focus on something, anything. Anything other than how much I miss Tara. I miss just being able to see her smile, that beautiful smile. What I would give to see it just one last time. One last time….

Part 4

I wake up the next morning with a crick in my back. I slowly lift my head. I slept in my computer chair again. Not that it really matters, at least I got some sleep. And besides, I have a hard time sleeping in the bed, that was where Tara and I used to snuggle. It feels so empty without her.

I feel so empty without her. I look around the room again, blinking back yet more tears. I didn't know the human body could produce so many tears. But then, I didn't know the universe could produce someone as perfect and loving as Tara. I guess we all learn too late.

I stand up, trying to stretch out all my sore muscles, it doesn't work. It never does, but I always have to try. I walk to the bathroom and strip off my clothes, climbing into the shower.

I go about showering mechanically, wash hair, shave legs, rinse off. I don't care how I look anymore, but this is my routine. One of the very few things keeping me together at all.

I climb out of the shower and grab a towel and start wrapping it around myself. A wave of dizziness washes over me and I grab the counter to keep from falling. My other hand goes to my stomach. No, not now, why now? I'm gonna be sick again.

I collapse to my knees and start to vomit. It's worse than the day before, my muscles still hurt from yesterday. Each heave of my stomach feels like it's tearing it to pieces. My throat is still raw, and burning, God how it burns.

Finally, I'm done, for now. I just sit there, trying to regain my composure. Right now Tara would be holding me, placing a cool cloth on my forehead, telling me it would be ok. That's when the tears start, again.

I don't know how long I stay there, seems like forever and a few minutes at the same time. I finally walk out to my room and change clothes, yet again. I'm starting to wonder why I even bother changing in the morning. I sit and rest for a while, my tears continuing. Finally I wipe my tears away and go down to get breakfast.

I see everyone there, they're all so concerned, they want to help. They try to comfort me, but there's nothing they can do. I do love them though, they keep trying. The lighthearted chit chat I know is meant well, but it only causes my head to ache.

I finish breakfast quickly and go upstairs and lock the door. I start crying, but I hardly notice. I sit down on my bed and pull my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. I want to disappear, I want the pain to end, I want Tara back.

Part 5

I go through the next week like a robot. Each day is the same, the same routine. Get up, get sick, clean up, eat something, cry, eat lunch, cry, eat dinner, and cry myself to sleep with the help of PM's.

I feel numb, the pain is the only thing that reminds me I'm still alive. You can't hurt this much and be dead, the pain leaves then. I give the correct responses, react the way I'm supposed to, but I don't feel it. I only feel the pain, I miss her so much.

I'm laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling when I hear a knock on the door. "Come in," I say without emotion. The door opens and someone walks in, they're probably here to tell me it's time to eat. They have to remind me, otherwise I'd forget.

The person walks across the room, and I feel them sit down next to me. "Will?" Buffy asks quietly.

"Yeah?" I answer. I guess it's not about food, did I forget a chore or something? I guess she'll tell me in a moment.

"What's going on?" she asks.

"I'm in mourning," I state simply. Isn't that self-evident?

"I know that, Willow," she says.

"Then why are you asking?" I respond. I don't really care, everything stopped mattering when Tara died. She looks at me, I know she is concerned.

"How long have you been sick?" she asks gently. This gets my attention, I try not to let her see though.

"What do you mean?" I ask, playing innocent. Maybe she just suspects, maybe she doesn't know. She takes a deep breath, she doesn't want to upset me, but she's also made up her mind. There's no way I can avoid this talk.

"Willow, I heard you this morning, I wasn't spying," she defends. "I was walking past your room and heard something, I got worried so I knocked on the door. You didn't answer. I got really worried, Will. I opened the door to make sure you were ok. And I saw the bathroom door half open. And well, I saw you."

Buffy pauses a minute before continuing. She's obviously trying to figure out how to phrase whatever it is she's gonna say. "Willow, why didn't you tell me you were sick?"

From the tone of her voice, and the fact she uses my full name, I know she's serious. I sit there and ponder her words. She heard me, but only this morning, she doesn't know how long it's been going on. I debate telling her that it was just this morning, that I woke up with an upset stomach.

But that look in her face, she's so worried, I can't lie to her. She only wants to help. I give a sigh of defeat. "About a week I guess."

"A week?" she chokes. "Why didn't you tell me? Tell someone? Are you ok? Are you taking something? Do you know what's wrong?"

Her questions are making my head hurt. I just lay there, keeping my expression the same. "Willow?" her voice cuts through my silence. "Willow? Please talk to me." She's almost pleading now.

"I didn't tell you, because it doesn't matter," I answer in a monotone. Her eyes grow wide, she's shocked, she doesn't understand, no one can.

"Of course it matters," she replies.

"No it doesn't!" I almost shout. "It all stopped mattering the moment Tara died. Don't you understand that? There's no point anymore, none. I'm just a shell, I walk and talk like a person. But I'm not, I'm a shell, a robot. I'm nothing without her…" I'm crying by now, more sobs.

She wraps me up in a hug and just holds me, letting me cry my tears out. "I know it hurts, Will, I know. But you do matter, we all care about you. You do matter, you're my best friend. Let me help you, please," she says, her tears mingling with my own.

I just lay there, tears still wracking my body. "I don't know what I need, Buffy. No I take that back, I need Tara. Why didn't they let me bring her back?" I ask.

"I don't know, Will, I really don't know," she answers.

"I could have brought her back," I sob. "I could have saved her…" Buffy just holds me, knowing that's what I need right now. I finally relax, too tired to continue.

"It's ok, it's gonna be ok," she says soothingly. She tucks me into bed, making sure I'm comfy. "We're going to make a doctors appointment for you."

"Doctors appointment?" I whisper.

"Yes, doctors appointment," she replies. "We need to find out what's making you so sick. I know part of it's grief, but there's something else going on here."

I nod my head silently in agreement. She has that look on her face, the same one she sometimes gets with Dawn. Her mom look, the one she always bragged she patterned after my "resolve face". I know better than to even try and argue with that. She seems satisfied, and tells me to get some rest.

Easier said than done, right? I just lay there, the events of the past few months playing through my head. I don't sleep, I just lay there. Thinking of Tara.

Part 6

Somehow Buffy managed to get an appointment for that afternoon. How she did that I don't want to know. I'm guessing it involved various threats. "Are you sure you don't want me to come in with you?" she asked for the thousandth time.

"I'm sure," I answer. "I'll be ok, it's just an appointment with the doctor, nothing I can't handle."

"Ok," she nods her head reluctantly. "I'll be back to pick you up in an hour."

"Thanks," I answer. The jeep pulls up in front of the office, and I get out. I watch Buffy drive off before heading into the office. I check in with the nurse before sitting down in one of the chairs.

I pick up a magazine and start to read, at least that's what it appears to everyone else in the office. I just stare at the same page, never seeing the words. I just keep thinking of Tara. Finally the nurse walks out and calls my name.

Guess I'm next. I follow the nurse. She takes my temperature, blood pressure, and all that. Then hands me one of those little gowns to change into, and tells me the doctor will be with me soon. I change silently.

I sit on the table, staring off into space. When the door opens, it startles me. "Good afternoon, Miss Rosenberg," the doctor greets me.

"Hi doctor," I answer. He sits down on the stool and starts to ask for my symptoms. I answer all his questions without really thinking. He nods, marks things down in my chart, and finally tells me he needs to run some tests.

I agree, not like it matters, but Buffy'll be mad if I don't get this checked out. He quickly draws some blood. And for once, I don't even feel the needle. "Alright, I should have the test results tomorrow, I'll call you as soon as I get them," he says. "Until then, just rest and take it easy."

I shake his hand, and he walks out. I change back into my clothes, and head out to the office. Buffy's waiting for me. I should have known she wouldn't wait the full hour.

"So how'd it go?" she asks me.

"It went ok," I answer. "Doctor told me to get plenty of rest, take it easy, and wait for the test results." I smile, trying to show her I'll be ok.

"Tests? What kind of tests?" she asks.

"I don't know, some blood work," I hedge. I feel so alone. Tara should be here with me, she always went with me to the doctor. A single tear slid down my cheek. But of course if she was here, I wouldn't need to go to the doctor. So I'm really not making any sense. Ok I'm babbling, must stop that.

"Ok, then," she said. "Well in that case, we're going to get you home and into bed. We are going to follow the doctor's orders to a T." I just nod my agreement, trying to hold in the tears till we get home.

The ride home is pretty silent, I know Buffy wants to talk, but she can sense I just need to be quiet. We get home and Buffy immediately takes me up to my room and has me change into PJ's. She tucks me in, and makes sure I'm comfy.

"There you go, all comfy," she says, a small smile on her face. "Is there anything I can get you?"

"No, I'll be ok," I answer. "Just need to rest, like the doc said."

"Ok then," she said. "I'll be back in a while to check on you. If you need anything, you give me a call."

"Thanks Buffy," I answer.

"Always Will, you're my best friend," she grins. "Now, get some sleep." She gives me a quick hug before turning off the light and walking out.

I lay there, staring at the ceiling, I wish she hadn't turned off the light. It's so hard to be alone in the dark. I miss her so much, the hugs, the snuggling. Just knowing that she's there. Even when I was on the computer and she was sleeping, I just felt better knowing she was in the room.

As I'm looking up at the ceiling, I remember the time Tara and I went star gazing. She didn't know any of the constellations, instead, she made her own up. It was perfect, we were laying on a blanket, our heads resting together on a single pillow. Just enjoying the closeness and the night.

She had been so happy that night, so happy. I start to cry again. Lately that seems like all I do. I cry, I cry for the love I'll never have. I cry for Tara.

Part 7

Today is the same as yesterday, without the doctors appointment that is. I woke up feeling just as sick as yesterday. My muscles are aching so badly it hurts to move. I went through my morning routine.

I got up, got sick, cleaned up, ate breakfast, and now I'm sitting here on my bed. I don't know what I'm doing, I guess I'm waiting for the doctor to call. I keep staring off into space, I can't help it.

I close my eyes and try to clear my head, the phone picks that moment to start ringing, making me jump. Figures, bad timing, just like everything else in my life. I pick up the phone and answer. "Summers residence, Willow speaking."

"Miss Rosenberg," the doctor greet me. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Still sick," I answer.

"Well, that's understandable, considering your condition," he tells me. My jaw clenches. Condition? What condition?

"Condition?" I ask quietly. "Am I gonna be ok?"

"You'll be just fine, Willow," he answers me. "I have some good news to tell you actually." Relief washes over me, good news. He said good news right?

"Thank you doctor," I answer. "So what is it?"

"Actually, I have good news. You're pregnant," he says. I swear my heart stopped. I freeze, I don't know what to do. I must have misheard him.

"W-what did y-you say?" I ask, stuttering.

"The tests we ran came back positive for pregnancy," he says. I remain silent, nearly dropping the phone. He said it, he actually said what I thought he said. But how? I mean, I can't be, no possible way. "Miss Rosenberg? Are you alright?"

"What? Huh?" I reply. I forgot I was on the phone.

"Are you alright?" he repeats. "I take it this wasn't planned."

"No," I answer, my voice hollow. He tells me he's called in some prescriptions for me, they should be ready at the pharmacy. To combat the morning sickness he says. Morning sickness? He's also prescribed some pre-natal vitamins. He gives me the number of some doctors to call, and sets up a follow-up visit.

I thank him and hang up the phone silently. This isn't real. This can't be happening. I quickly pinch myself. Ouch! Ok, so not a dream, an alternate reality? What's happening?

I lean back against the headboard, resting one hand on my stomach. A baby's growing in there? I'm trying to stay calm. What am I gonna do? Who do I tell? Should I tell anyone? God Tara, I wish you were here, you'd know what to do.

I curl up on the bed, hugging my teddy bear close. I'm moving my head in a rocking motion, it's something I do when I'm nervous. I lay here, trying to figure out what happened, how it happened.

Magic! Suddenly it hits me, it must be magic. I jump to my feet and grab my magic books. There has to be something in here, it must be a spell of some kind. That's it, a spell, I can deal with this.

Curses, maybe? Demons, definite possibility. Warlocks, could be. Not vampires, they couldn't do this. Right, get into study-gal mode. I open up 5 books and start to scan all the pages, looking for anything that might help me figure this out.

I know I'll find the answer, I have to. If not here, then I'll go to the Magic box and read the books there. Or the internet, that's right, I'm the hacker, I can work with a computer. Research is my thing, I can do this, I can do this.

Part 8

Two hours later I slam down the book I'm reading. Nothing! A big freaking zero. I've looked through most of my books, and nothing. Not a single thing. My head's really hurting now, I've been reading for too long.

I quickly take 5 ibuprofen, and rub my temples. There has to be something here, I must be missing it. As I think this, I look over and see one last leather-bound book on the shelf. I almost forgot that one. Tara and I read from it the night before she was killed.

Wait a second! The book! That night! That's it. Now where was it? I open the book and start searching. As I start to turn the pages, my eyes grow wider. This can't be. I finish the chapter, and read it again, just to make sure.

I found it, I know how this happened. I start to think back to that wonderful night. The night it happened.

Part 9

Two months two weeks ago

Tara and I are laying cuddled up in bed. We just finished making love for the first time since we got back together. It was slow, and perfect. Right now we're gently tracing patterns on each others backs, whispering soft words of love. Basking in the afterglow.

"I love you so much," I say softly.

"I love you too," Tara says. "That was."

"Wonderful," I finish, hugging her close. She's so gorgeous, the moonlight playing over her face. The contented smile of release. As beautiful as she is the rest of the time. She's most beautiful after we make love.

"I want to stay like this forever," she whispers.

"Me too," I grin back.

"I-I have an idea," she says tentatively. She's stuttering, she only does that when she's nervous. I pull her closer and give her a quick kiss.

"Are you ok?" I ask soothingly. She nods and smiles back at me. That smile, that perfect smile. It was one of the first things I fell in love with. "Then what is it honey?"

"I'd like to say a blessing, one my mom taught me. She said I should only say it with someone I really love. That it was an of affirmation of love. In it you ask for the Goddess's blessing for a long relationship," she said quietly.

"Sounds wonderful," I grin.

"Do you want? I mean, maybe we could?" she starts. "This is a new start for us."

"I'd love to," I whisper, giving her a gentle kiss. "I'll do anything you ever want. So what do we need to do?"

"Well, marked the page down in the book she gave me, I need to get it," she said. She sits up and reaches for a small leather-bound book on the nightstand. She settles back into bed, and into my arms, then starts to flip through the pages. "Here it is," she says, holding the book open for me to read.

My heart soars when I read the blessing. It's perfect, it's just how I feel about Tara, about our love. We quickly memorize the blessing, then set the book down.

We lay on our sides, facing each other. Our heads bent together, foreheads touching. We gently grasp the others hand. Then just take a moment to look deeply into each others eyes.

"Ready?" I ask. She nods. And so we start, the moonlight cascading over us, lighting the room with it's soft glow. We softly start to recite the blessing to each other:

By the powers of magic

May our wish be granted.

Open mind and grant new life,

Gone from us, all stress and strife.

Open heart, gain life anew,

Accept all love that's offered you.

By earth, fire, wind and sea

Into our arms, our love will be.

Great Goddess, we ask of thee,

Life joins life and blessed it be.

We place a hand on the other's heart, and lean in for a kiss. The kiss ignites our passion again, as we slip under the covers. We make passionate love, my body starts to tingle instantly. It's more intense than anything I've ever experienced.

And that's saying a lot. Making love with Tara is always amazing. A few minutes later we both shudder as the orgasm washes over both of us. We cry out each others names as we release. We collapse and hold each other close. "I love you so much," I pant.

"I love you too," Tara answers. We snuggle together and rest. Falling asleep wrapped tightly in each others arms. Wrapped in a warm, loving, cocoon.

Part 10

Present Day

I look more closely at the page, wait a second. I see a small footnote. It take a while, but I finally find the page and turn to it. I start to read, my eyes growing wide.

"A Blessing Of Love. Chant these words to each other, while in a loving embrace. If said correctly, this blessing will grant the couple happiness. If said under a full moon, and with a pure love consummates their relationship directly after. A child will be conceived from both their essence. A child created of both of them. A child born out of pure love."

I take a deep breath and let out a scream. The pain evident in my voice. Oh Goddess, our last night together, and we, we. Tara should be here! I can't do this alone. I start to cry, the pain is even worse. She wont be here for…

Buffy must have heard me because a moment later she raced in. "Willow are you ok?" she asks hurriedly. She sees me sitting in the middle of the floor, my books scattered all around me. She quickly picks her way through them, and kneels in front of me.

I just stare at her, I don't know what to say. "Hi," I finally say quietly.

"Are you ok? I heard you scream. Did the doctor call? Are you ok?" she says concerned. She takes another look around the room. "And why are all your magic books out?"

"Yeah, the doctor did call," I answer.

"And?" she prods.

"I'm pregnant with Tara's baby," I state. Her look changes from concern to puzzlement. I know what she's going through. Yep, I know just what she's thinking, it's what I'm thinking too. Well, mostly, but I know how this happened, at least I think I do.

"Uh, Will?" she asks quietly.

"Yeah?" I answer.

"But you and Tara are both girls," she starts. "How could? I mean, I don't want to pry. But how could you guys, you know."

"Magic," I answer. "It must have happened the night before she was shot." My breath hitches on this sentence. Buffy gives me a hug, she doesn't know what else to do. Neither do I really.

"Umm, do you want to talk about it?" she asks. I can tell she's uncertain. I pick up the book and find the page again. Once I find the right page, I hand it to her. I watch as she scans the page.

"Wow," Buffy finally says.

"I know what you mean," I answer.

"So you and Tara, uh, made a baby," she stutters a bit.

"Yes we did," I say. "We made a baby. Oh god, our love created another human life. When we said the blessing, we didn't know it was a full moon out. We didn't know, Oh God. What do I do? How can I do this without her? She never got a chance to know…" My words are cut off by my tears.

Buffy hugs me, as she's done so many times in the last few months. I hug her back, crying so hard I don't know if my body can take it. Here I am with what should be a happy moment.

A happy time, Tara and I made a baby, we're going to be moms. And she's not here, she never even got to know. I can't stop crying, the pain is getting worse. Why wouldn't they let me bring her back?

Buffy just holds me and rocks me gently. "It's gonna be ok, Will. I'm here for you, the whole gang is. We'll help you in anyway we can. You just ask, and we'll do it. We can get through this, I swear we can get through this," she whispers softly.

"What am I gonna do?" I sob. "I'm having her baby, and she's not here. She wont even know."

"She knows, Will, trust me, she knows, she's looking out for both of you. I know it," she answers me. "You're having a baby, Willow. That's a good thing. It's a part of you and Tara, it's a part of her."

"I want her back, I just want her back. I want my Tara back! She should be here for this, she should be here," I cry. "I love her. I love her so much."

Part 11

I kept sobbing the rest of the day, and Buffy stayed with me. She briefly went downstairs to tell everyone to keep things quiet, and to get some food. She also sent Xander out to get my medicine. Then she was back holding me.

I cried myself dry. Till my throat was so rough it was hard to breathe, and my lungs burned. And still I continued, I couldn't stop. Finally I cried so much I lost my voice completely.

It was all I could do to make small sounds. Buffy got me settled in bed, and held my hand. She got me to drink some ginger ale, that was nice. It kinda hurts my throat though.

"Ok, time for something to eat," Buffy says. I shake my head in disagreement. "Will, you have to eat something. If not for yourself, for the baby." I hang my head, she takes this as a sign of agreement.

She feeds me some soup, it still hurts my throat, but it helps. I realize how hungry I am, I haven't eaten since breakfast. I finish my soup and sigh. I'm exhausted, completely and totally. Mentally and physically.

I can barely keep my eyes open, for once I think I'm actually going to sleep. Buffy tucks me in. "I'll be back in a minute, ok?" she asks.

I nod. She walks out of the room and returns a few minutes later wearing her PJ's and carrying a blanket. She pulls my comfy chair over next to the bed and sits down. "W-what are you doing?" I choke out.

"I'm going to stay here with you tonight," she answers. I start to shake my head, but she stops me. "You shouldn't be alone tonight, Willow." There's that mom voice again. She's getting really good at that.

I nod, and give a weak smile. "Buffy?" I ask quietly.

"Yes?" she answers.

"Want to thank you," I start. I can barely form the words, my throat hurts so badly. But I want, no I need to tell her.

"Will, it's ok, just get some rest," she starts.

"Let me finish," I say. "Want to thank you for being there for me. You're like my sister." She smiles at me, I can tell she's touched.

"I don't know what to say, Willow," she says.

"Don't have to say anything," I answer.

"Ok sis, time to get some sleep. I may not have any experience with this, but I do know you need plenty of rest. And liquids, and something about hot water, but that comes later," she smiles.

I close my eyes and start to drift off, she holds my hand. She called me her little sis. That's nice. And I'm carrying Tara's baby. Our baby. A part of her is growing inside me.

That brings a smile to my lips. The first real smile since that fateful day. I fall asleep, a slight smile on my face, and images of Tara in my heart and head.

Part 12

I wake up with a small grin on my face. I roll over to hug Tara, and I realize it was just a dream. A nightmare. She's not there, she's gone. I'm alone, alone with our baby.

My body shudders as I start to cry. That wakes Buffy up, and she's holding me. I feel so empty. I don't feel sick though, that medicine must really be working. I'll have to remember to thank the doctor later.

Finally my sobs start to subside, I'm still crying, but it's internal now. I can't cry another tear. My throat is burning so badly it hurts to breathe. Buffy gets me a glass of water which I drink. It helps a little, but not enough. Nothing will.

"Feel a little better now?" she asks.

"Physically, yeah," I croak.

"I know what you mean, it's going to get better, I promise," she says. I look at her, I want to believe her. But I can't, without Tara, I'll never be ok, never. Just then there's a knock on the door.

I nod my head, telling Buffy to invite the person in. She does, and Dawn walks in tentatively. "Hi," she says quietly.

I wave at her, my throat hurting too badly to talk. "What is it Dawn?" Buffy asks.

"I didn't want to interrupt, but Giles called and needs you over there. Like yesterday," Dawn says. "I wouldn't have told you if it wasn't important," she added.

"Ok," Buffy nods. "Will, I'm so sorry, I'll try to be as quick as I can. Are you gonna be ok here for a little while?"

"Yeah, I'll be ok," I whisper. I can tell she's about to argue, I raise my hand to stop her. "It's ok, go."

"If you're sure," she hedges. I nod. I can tell she doesn't want to leave me alone. And hell, in her position, I wouldn't think it smart to leave me either.

"I'll stay here," Dawn said quietly. That was odd, normally she wanted to go to all the Scooby meetings. I try to argue for a minute, but I should have known better. One does not win arguments with the Summers sisters.

Buffy gives me a hug, then gets up and leaves. She promises to be back as soon as she can. Dawn sits down with me, asking if she can help. Buffy sticks her head and tells us she's leaving.

Dawn is trying so hard to help. She tries to make me comfortable, gets me water and snacks, extra blankets. She's trying to keep the conversation light, I know. I also know she wants to ask something, but she's afraid.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Umm, well…" she starts.

"It's ok, Dawn," I say.

"Are you really….? I mean, did you and Tara actually…?" she blushes and pauses to compose herself.

I smile at her. She's trying not to embarrass me, or herself. It's kinda fun watching someone else babble for once.

"Are you really gonna, uhhh….?" Dawn trails off.

"Have a baby?" I supply, with a faded smile, a shadow of my former quirky grin. Dawn nods her head. "Yeah, I'm going to have our baby," I say, the true meaning of the word "our" hitting me. The realization adds to the pain of my already damaged soul and fractured heart.

"Wow," she says wide eyed.

"I know what you mean," I say.

"That's great! I mean, it's wonderful! You're going to be a mommy. You're gonna do so well. And I can help, I know I'm young and all, but I'll read up on stuff. When do cravings start? Can I get you anything?" she asks excitedly.

"Calm down, honey," I say softly. "It's ok, I'm alright, cravings don't start for at least 4 more months. And I would love to have your help."

She grins broadly, then gets a sad look on her face. "Tara should be here, it's her baby too. I still don't understand why they didn't let you bring her back. I'm sure if they'd known you were pregnant, they would have considered it more," she thought aloud. " I'm sorry, I d-didn't mean to make you cry, Willow."

I start to tear up, Dawn always did support Tara and I. Then I stop. Out of the mouth of babes. That's it! "It's ok, Dawn. You didn't mean to," I answer. "Why don't you go downstairs and watch TV for a while. I think I need a nap."

She looks at me, trying to see if I'm mad at her. Finally, seeing it's ok, she leaves the room. I can't believe I didn't think of it before. As soon as I'm sure she's downstairs, I leap out of bed and start grabbing my books and ingredients.

I flip the book to the right page, and start to prepare the spell. "Tara honey, everything's gonna be ok, I'll make it ok," I whisper, holding back the tears. With that statement, I turn my full attention to the spell. This time I'm going all the way to the top.

Part 13

I sit in the circle I've drawn. A pentagram in the middle. The room is dark, except for the candles surrounding me. "Great Goddess hear my calls, I am your servant," I chant.

There's a slight gust of wind in the room, and I continue my chanting. "Goddess, I beseech you." The wind picks up, and the candles flicker. "Return to me what was taken. Bring her back."

The wind is swirling around me, I can feel the magic getting stronger. I have to shout to be heard over the wind. "Great Goddess, hear my calls, I am your servant! Goddess, I beg you. Return to me what was taken! Bring her back!"

All the candles suddenly are blown out. Then a bright flash of light, and then darkness. I can feel myself falling, but I'm not hitting the ground. I can feel the wind, it's throwing my body around like a twig.

"Great Goddess, hear my calls, I am your servant! Goddess I command you ! Return to me what was mine! Bring her back!" I shout. The ingredients of the spell are swirling round me now, I can feel them as they slash through my skin.

I continue my chants. "Great Goddess, heed my calls, I am your servant! Goddess I demand of you! Return her to me! Bring her back!" I'm crying now, my anger reaching it's peak. "God damn it, bring Tara back!"

Suddenly I hit the ground, and everything goes still. I try to focus, but the darkness starts to consume me. I pass out, vaguely aware I'm no longer in my room.

Part 14

I wake up slowly blinking my eyes. I try to get a sense of my surroundings. I'm laying on my stomach on a cold stone floor. It's dark, save for one small light flickering in the distance.

My head hurts, I hope I didn't hit it. Where am I? Where's Tara? I slowly drag myself to my feet, having to pause as my heads starts to spin. Or maybe it's the room, I don't know.

I look around the room, some sort of cave I think. I can't really tell in the near darkness. My eyes focus on the flickering light. That must be where I need to go. The spell didn't mention anything about this.

I walk towards the light, as I draw closer I can see it's from a single candle. When I get there I find the entrance to a long passage. I take a deep breath and start walking. I don't know how long I wander around down here, in the dark it's hard to tell.

I finally reach a room light by hundreds of candles. A woman is sitting on what looks like. Is that a throne? She's dressed in a royal purple robe. Am I really here? What's going on.

"Hello Willow," the woman says, her voice stopping me in my tracks.

"Where am I?" I ask. "And how did you know my name?"

"That is not important," she answers. "Your spell brought you here."

"Where's Tara?" I demand, my eyes narrowing.

"That is what we need to discuss," she answers.

"Where is she? I cast this spell to bring her back," I say. "Who are you?"

"I am The Goddess Of Resurrections," she answers simply. I stare at her in shocked amazement. "I know why you cast the spell."

"Then why isn't Tara back?" I nearly cry.

"Because, for a spell of this magnitude, something must be exchanged," she answers, in that same annoyingly calm voice.

"What do you want? I'll give you anything, just bring Tara back," I plead.

"A simple trade, a life for a life," she answers. "The life of your child, for the life of your love." This can't be happening. She didn't just. She can't have.

"W-what?" I stutter. She looks at me with that same calm gaze.

"The life of your child for Tara's life," she states again. My face hardens. The life of our baby for Tara? What kind of trade is that?

"You can't be serious," I state.

"I'm perfectly serious," she answers. "You said you would give anything to have her back, I am giving you the opportunity to do so. When you cast your spell, you invoked my help."

My hand quickly moves down to my stomach. "Don't worry, you're still pregnant," she answers the question I had not yet asked. "You have to make a choice, a child you and she created out of your love, or Tara."

"You're willing to take the life of an innocent?" I ask, trying to reason with her.

"Are you?" she asks.

"How the hell do you expect me to decide between them? I love them both. Tara's my soul mate, my love. This child, I love it already, it was created of both of us. I can't choose," I cry.

"You must," she answers. I start to cry. What am I going to do? This can't be real. I manage to stagger over to the edge of the chamber. I fall to my knees and throw up.

The Resurrection Goddess, or whoever she is watches me with a detached gaze. "You need to decide, I can't wait here all day," she says.

I manage to stop my wrenching stomach and turn to her. "Shut up! Shut the hell up!" My head is throbbing, and my heart feels like it's encased in ice. The familiar pain seeping into me. I climb to my feet, staring the woman down.

I start to mutter some words of a spell, but she raises her hand, and I feel the strength leave my body. "No need for that," she says. It's all I can do to remain standing. "Have you chosen?"

"How can I chose between the two people I love most in this world?" I ask.

"I thought the answer was quite simple," she states.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I ask.

"The child you are carrying is not yet three months old, trading it for Tara seems to be the thing to do," she says. "It's not like the baby matters." I'm too shocked to move.

Not important? It's my baby, it's part of Tara and I. We made this child together. "How can you say that?" I croak.

"Very well, I see you wont listen to reason," she says.

"What reason? You're not making any sense," I reply.

"Hmm, what to do," she ponders. "It's obvious it will take a bit more to convince you." She sits there taping her fingers on the arm of her chair. "I have it, I'll let you see your love. I'm sure that will convince you."

"You'll let me see Tara?" I almost cry.

"Just for a short time, so you will make your decision," she answers. With that, she waves her hand and suddenly I'm surrounded by light. It grows brighter and brighter till I have to shut my eyes. Where am I going?

"On last thing," the voice whispers to me. "If you choose Tara, you and she will not be able to perform another ritual to have a child. I give you fair warning."

Part 15

I open my eyes as the light fades. I look around, I'm in a cave, similar to the last one. But in it, is what looks like a set from a TV show. A cut away of a room. I start walking toward it. There are two people standing in the room, but I am too far away to make out much more.

I keep walking closer, the scene becoming more and more clear. One of the women is a blonde, the other a redhead. They're facing each other, talking, then suddenly there's a gunshot, and the blonde falls. Oh god!

That's, that's Tara! That's our room! The shooting! I race over, not able to utter a sound. She falls to the ground, the life gone from her. The redhead races over and holds her, starting to cry. The blood splattered all over her. I fall to my knees and start to sob.

Is this what that Goddess meant when she said I could see Tara again? I cast the spell to bring her back, and now I've just watched her die in my arms. For a second time.

The sobs are uncontrollable, I can't stop. I just stare at Tara lying there. Then something strange happens. There's a glow in the room, and suddenly Tara is standing there facing me again. The me in the scene, not me me.

I know what's going to happen, I have to stop it. "Tara!" I shout. I hear the bullet break through the window, and then it slows, and stops, frozen in midair. The redhead disappears. Tara looks around for a moment before spotting me.

"W-willow? I-is that y-you?" she asks in a terrified voice. I just nod. She comes racing over to meet me. Before I can even stand, she's there, hugging me. It's all I can do to cling to her. My Tara, it's really her.

"It's me, baby, it's me, I love you" I sob. "I've missed you so much!" She hugs me tighter, pulling me closer in our embrace.

"I love you too, baby," she says. She's crying too. Oh god, Tara crying, I need to help her. I start to move, to try and help her, but she stops me. "Just hold me, Willow."

"I-I t-tried to b-bring you b-back," I stutter. "They w-wouldn't l-et me. I tried, Tara. I did everything I could, I never stopped. I'm so sorry."

"It's ok baby, it's ok, I know," she answers me, gently rubbing my back. "I'm just happy to see you. How did you get here?"

"I-I cast another spell to bring you back," I answer, my head never moving from her shoulder.

"But how?" she asks. "What made this time different?"

"Because of the.." I start. Oh god, she doesn't know, she doesn't know. What do I do? What do I tell her? How do I tell her? How's she going to react?

"Honey, slow down the babbling, it's ok," she whispers.

How did she? It's Tara, of course she knows. She's crying too, I can feel her body shaking along with mine. I take a deep breath before pulling my head back slightly so I can face her.

"I have something to tell you," I start.

"What is it, love?" she asks. She's so concerned, I can tell.

"I'm pregnant," I state. Her eyes grow wide, much as mine must have when I heard the news.

"B-but how?" she asks, her eyes searching mine for an answer.

"The blessing we said, the night before you…" I trail off. I take another breath, determined to tell her. "We didn't read the footnote. If said under a full moon, and with the proper timing, and… Oh hell, here I go babbling again. Tara?"

"Yes Willow?" she answers gently.

"We made a baby," I answer. "The spell, I don't understand all of it, but we made a baby." She looks at me with a shocked expression. Then it turns to a smile.

"You mean you're carrying our baby? As in a baby that's part of both of us?" she asks excitedly. I just nod. "That's wonderful! Are you are ok? Are you suffering from morning sickness? What can I do honey? I love you so much."

"I love you too," I answer, resting my head on her shoulder. "I was so lost without you."

"I know just what you mean," she cried. "We're together now though, it's all ok."

Suddenly the words of the Goddess of Resurrections spring into my head. "A simple trade, a life for a life." I feel the bile rising in my throat. "Oh no," I whimper. I quickly pull away and crawl a few feet before throwing up.

I can't do this. I can't do this! "If you choose Tara, you and she will not be able to perform another ritual to have a child. I give you fair warning," the voice reminds me. Then Tara is right there with me, holding my hair back, resting a hand on my back, reassuring me. "It's ok, baby, I'm right here," she sooths.

When I finish she gently pulls me into a hug, then lays me down so I'm leaning back against her. She's holding me in a gentle yet firm embrace, letting me regain my strength. "I love you, Willow."

"I love you too," I answer quietly.

"What's wrong? What happened? Is it morning sickness?" she asks. She has my head tucked under her chin. I love it when she does that. "We should get you home and into bed."

"I can't," I whisper. She continues to hold me till I can talk again. Then asks me again what happened. I sigh, knowing I have to tell her the truth. "Tara, when I cast the spell, I thought it would be different. Cause of the baby and all. And it was, but not in a good way. They said I had to trade something to get you back. I said ok. Then they told me what I had to trade."

"What did they ask you to trade?" she asks, going all protective.

"The life of our baby," I say in a near whisper. She looks at me, her grip tightening slightly.

"They want you to give up our baby for me?" she asked. I nod. "Oh honey, I'm so sorry."

"I want you back, God do I want you back. But they're asking us to give up our child, an innocent little baby," I cry. I lower my voice, not wanting to speak the last part. "A-and if I choose you, we give up all rights to ever having a baby."

I can hear her swallow, she's steeling herself for something. "And if you chose the baby?" she asks.

"Then I can't bring you back," I sob. "I miss you so badly, but our child?"

"Willow?" she asks quietly.

"Yes?" I answer.

"We both know the answer," she starts. "I could never live knowing the price we both had to pay. Especially you, you're carrying our baby." She gently rested her hand on my still flat stomach.

"I know," I say. "I just don't want to lose you again. I know what we have to do. I know that. I know that if I were in your position, I would tell you to keep the baby. That I would always watch over you, and keep our child safe from harm."

"And that's just what I'm telling you," she said quietly. "I'll always be with you, and with our child. I'll always be there watching over you both, always, I promise."

"I love you so much," I say. It breaks my heart, knowing I'm once again going to lose her. That by choosing our baby, I'm condemning Tara to a perpetual, repeating hell of being shot. But it's what we both chose. We chose together, and it's what we must do.

"I love you too," she answers. She's smiling, but I can see the pain. She's resigning herself to this perpetual hell, for our baby. "So what do we do?"

"I-I think you have to g-go back over there and…" I trail off, the tears choking off my words. She nods.

"I'll never leave you," she says stroking my cheek. "Don't watch, it'll make it easier." I continue to sob, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. She gently helps me up, being so careful.

"I'll always be with you in spirit. And remember, I love you," she says, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"I love you too, and I will never forget," I say, tears flowing down my face. "G-goodbye."

"Not goodbye, our time together in this life may have been cut short, but I'll always be with you. And when that day comes, I'll be the one greeting you at the gates of heaven," she says.

"Oh Tara," I weep, pulling her close to me. "One last kiss?"

"Always, honey," she smiles, trying to mask her own pain. We pull each other close, looking into each others eyes for a final time. Our lips meeting in a loving, searching kiss. We are both committing every second to memory.

We lose ourselves in the kiss, and in each other. One final kiss.

Part 16

We're so lost in each other we don't even notice the wind swirling around us. Finally we reluctantly pull away from each other. She gives me one last hug and turns to go. She doesn't get very far, though, before she walks into a wall. "W-what happened?" she asks, confused, rubbing her forehead.

"What do you mean?" I reply. Then I look around the room, we're back in our room! Not that sound stage. Our room! Together! Both of us! I race to the window and look outside. It's our room, we're back.

We meet in the center of the room, pulling each other into a deep embrace. "Is it real? Am I really here Willow?" Tara asks softly. I just nod, I can't form words. "I love you." I mouth that I love her too.

We stand there for I don't know how long, just holding each other. Then I suddenly get a panicked look. "The baby!" I shout.

The room glows, and a voice suddenly speaks out. "Your baby is just fine."

"But we, I mean we," Tara says.

"You chose the life of your child," the voice finishes.

"Yes we did," I say. "Is this just a dream?"

"No child, it's real," the voice answers softly. "Tara and you are both back, and you are still carrying your child."

"How can this be happening?" I ask, holding Tara closer. "Who are you?"

"I am the Goddess," she answers.

"As in THE Goddess?" Tara asks.

"That's correct child," she answers. We both open our mouths to speak, but she gently stops us. "It's alright, I know what you're going to ask me. I'll try to explain it in terms you can understand. I think you should sit down."

We do as we're told, sitting down, holding each other close, not wanting to break contact. "I heard your pleas Willow, I saw what happened while you were there. The bargain offered you, and how you two refused it. You were willing to sacrifice your relationship for your child. You love each other that much. And in that moment, I saw how deep your love truly is. So I interceded. I brought you back Tara. A love like yours I will not let be taken from this earth."

We sit there stunned. "T-thank you," Tara stutters.

"Thank you so much," I say. "Thank you."

"Your welcome," she answers. "Now just rest, you both need it. I've changed the memories of all those concerned. As far as the world can tell, Tara never died, the bullet missed. The memories are too deeply ingrained in you and your friends, I believe you call them the Scoobies?"

"That's right," I answer.

"You will have two sets of memories, those of the events that originally came to pass. And those that happened because of my interceding. You will have to deal with the pain and loss, but together, I know you two can do anything. Take care of each other, and your twins, my children," she say. "Blessed be your lives, love, and family."

With that, the glow fades and the voice is gone. Tara and I sit there on the bed for a while, too stunned to move. Then we slowly turn to each other, the memories the Goddess gave us filtering into our minds. We smile at each other broadly.

"You're really here," I whisper.

"Here with you," Tara adds. She pulls me into a soft kiss, gently easing us both down onto the bed, never losing contact with each other. We finally break the kiss, still holding each other close, our foreheads touching.

Just then there's a soft knock on the door. I answer automatically for whoever it is to come in, too wrapped up in being with Tara to think straight.

"Hey Willow, I just wanted you to know we're all going to be here for you. You wont be going through this, alone….?" Xander trails off.

"Ouch!" Dawn squeaks, bumping into Xander. "Why did you…. Tara!" Dawn quickly pushes past Xander and runs over to hug my Tara. "You're back! This is real! Wow!" Dawn shouts excitedly.

I smile, a real smile, watching as Dawn gives Tara the biggest hug possible. I look over to Xander who's standing there looking dumbfounded. "It's ok Xander," I answer his unasked question. "Everything's ok now."

"I missed you so much," Dawn cries. "Losing you was like losing mom all over again."

Tara smiles, gently reassuring Dawn. Xander leans up against the door, trying hard not to fall over from shock. "How? When? How?" he asks, mouth agape.

I open my mouth to speak, but instead, a yawn comes out.

"I'm sorry," I start. Tara places her finger on my lips.

"It's ok, sweetie, you're sleepy," she says. "That spell must have taken a lot out of you. Not to mention you're carrying our baby." She rubs her hand lightly against my tummy. I smile at her, she understands, she always does.

It's then I notice Buffy standing there quietly, a grin spread across her face, I look at her, and she understands, quickly ushering the others out of the room. "Welcome home Tara," she says quietly, shutting the door.

I look back at Tara, all the while grinning. It's then I notice I'm still wearing my PJ's, I look at Tara and realize she's wearing hers as well. "What in the frilly heck?" I start.

"Shh, there'll be time for that later," Tara tells me. "Right now it's time to get you to bed."

"I think you've already done that," I say with a grin.

"I mean to sleep, baby," she grins back.

"Aww," I mock argue.

"I insist," she says in that "stern" voice of hers. "Our baby needs the rest."

"Our baby, I love the sound of that," I say. She quickly gets us both settled into bed, tucked us under the warm fluffy covers. I lay my head on her chest, listening to her heart beat, my arm draped over her stomach.

She has one arm around me, holding me close to her. Her other hand resting on my belly, where our child is growing. "I love you," she tells me.

"I love you too," I whisper back before starting to drift into a peaceful sleep. Wrapped in Tara's arms, our baby protected between us. It's only a few minutes before she drifts off as well, her hand never leaving my stomach.

Epilogue

As the Goddess watches from above, a robed figure slowly approaches. "Come in," the Goddess says. The figure walks up, clad in a purple robe. She looks down at the image of the two witches sleeping snuggled together.

"They look so happy," the figure says.

"That's because they're in love," the Goddess answers. "You did well."

"Thank you Goddess," the figure answers. "Though they passed this test, how will they deal with those to come?" she thinks.

"They truly did prove their love," the Goddess says. "You did your part well."

The Goddess' voice snapping her out of her thought. The figure slowly lifts her hood and turns to the Goddess. "Yes they did. I'm just glad they ended up together again. If ever a couple deserved to be together, it was these two," the figure finally says. The Goddess smiles.

"I agree. Their union and family are blessed," the Goddess answers. "I hated putting them through such a trial, and I never meant to give the impression that Tara was in hell, far from it. There was just no other way to test them, I do hope someday they can come to understand." She looks at the "Goddess of Resurrection" and they both smile. Then the Goddess waves her hand, and the image of Willow and Tara slowly fades from the reflecting pool. Letting them sleep, contented in their love.

But before the image fades totally, Willow sits up straight, pulling Tara up with her. "What's wrong honey? Are you feeling sick again?" Tara asks.

"No, I'm ok," Willow asks. "Uh Tara?"

"Yes honey?" she replies.

"Did she say twins?" Willow shouts.

The End

Pg. 30