"Hands intertwined"
© someonelikeyou10
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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or items inflicted with this story,
December 16, 2009.
AN: Uh, hey guys. Yeah, i know you all hate me for my lack of updates..but you learn that as you get older, every minute of your life is precious. So instead of updating Innocence of Love and/or Beautiful Mistakes, here's a new oneshot! Just keep in mind that Troyella is my couple. That will not change. Enjoy!
Summary: "Why do you make it so hard? Why is it that you're begging me to let you go while the tears brim your eyes? Why do you make me feel like the criminal when you're the one who wants to break up?"
Tuesday.
It was on that fateful Tuesday that I met him. With his shining blue eyes hidden underneath the black aviators, wearing the skinny jeans somewhat hanging loose but still maintaining a clean look, his back was turned to me. The white shirt, showing off the toned muscles was what I stared at before he finally turned around and showed off his pearly white teeth and smiled at me.
"I'm Troy."
It was on that Tuesday that he had shown me around the carnival and made me blush as he suddenly took my hand in the crowd and looked back at me, saying in a voice loud enough for me to hear.
"Don't let go of me, you hear me?"
All I could do was smile and nod, and tighten my grip against his hands that held the ruby red ring on his finger while the butterflies continued to bounce around in my stomach, something that's never happened to me before. And it was on that fateful Tuesday that I had fallen in love with a complete stranger.
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It was on that first Tuesday of September that I had met him again, two weeks after the carnival as he sat on the chair of his desk talking to his friends until his eyes caught mine, and shined bright as he recognized me and motioned me to come over. I had blushed and nodded softly and walked over where I took his outstretched hands and laced it together with his fingers, surprising everyone else around the room.
"Dude is this the girl you were talking about?"
Before I could ask what he was talking about and what he meant he was forced to unlace our hands as the teacher walked in and welcomed everyone with a sweet smile. But the smile couldn't be compared to the smile on my face as a note came flying my way, with a message and his number written inside.
123-456-7890
"Don't wanna lose contact with you again. I can't believe I forgot to ask you your number two weeks ago! :D"
His message included a smiley face that even though I couldn't see from where I was sitting, I was sure it was reflected on his face.
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It wasn't until two months after the first day of school, on that faithful Tuesday of November that he had asked me to be his girlfriend with a bouquet of roses and the ruby class finger. The moment of happiness was reflected through the tears streaming down my cheeks as I nodded and accepted without hesitation. And in the second hallway of the second floor on the second month of the second day, we shared our first kiss.
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December
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January
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February
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March
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April
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5 bliss months spent together.
Hanging at the beach where we had laid down in the cool sand and shared kisses and cuddled under the stars, or at the hallways of the art center during second period where we always snuck off to share intimate kisses and embraces, and even in the sheets of his own bedroom where things were done that shouldn't have been done in public.
But that ended with one day.
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He was my first love who introduced me to emotions I've never felt before.
Happiness
-I was happy to be with him.
Sadness
-We had our fights here and there.
Embarrassment
-Things i have never shown to anyone were seen through his eyes.
Fear
-I feared to lose him.
and Hurt.
It was him who helped me during the troubling times, him who taught me to lean to people around me instead of trying to hold it in, him who opened my heart, and him who made me love.
That him, him who had done all those things for me, it was him who I called my savior.
But.
Although he was my savior and my lover.
It was him who brutally left me.
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It's funny how life works out, one minute you're on top of the world but then the next thing you know you're on the bare floor struggling to hold it all in and survive. When only hours ago I called you to say I love you, now it's the complete opposite. You trying breaking it off with me, saying you've fallen in love with someone else. I can feel my heart breaking little by little as the words escape your mouth.
Why is it that you had to make me fall for you, make me love you, feel happy for you but also break my heart in the process.
I should have realized it the moment your replies to my 'I love yous' turned into murmurs of 'yeah' 'me too' and everything other than 'I love you too.' It was me that caused this; my naivety, my immature mind, and my lack of attentiveness.
But then, i hate you.
I hate that it's because of you that i'm hurting, i hate that it's you that's breaking it off with me, and i hate that you're standing in front of me asking me to leave you.
Why do you make it so hard? Why can't you be like all other men in this world who don't care about the girl they break up with or hurt me intentionally. Why is it that you're begging me to let you go while the tears brim your eyes? Why do you make me feel like the criminal when you're the one who want to break up?
Although i say ask all these questions, in truth, i know why.
I know why you make it so hard, i know why you're not like all the other men in this world, i know why you're begging me to let you go, and i know why i feel like the criminal.
It's because although you're here in front of me asking to break up, the five months we've been together weren't fake. You weren't lying to me when you whispered 'I love you' in my sleep, the love we shared wasn't fake, neither of us was suffering the during the 5 months and i know we were nothing close to false love.
The reason why you make it so hard for me to let you go is because you're a good guy.
Despite the fact that you loved me, you falling in love with her isn't wrong either. You can't stop your heart from loving someone. It's something that you have to understand and no matter how much i want to keep you, i have to let you go. I have to let you go or we'll both suffer.
And that will only cause more pain.
Instead of breaking off with pain and hurt towards each other and our own selves, why not just let it off with the happy memories we've once shared. So that one day, if we were to meet again in the streets ten years from now, we can look back without any regrets and share happy smiles toward each other.
And that's why I'm letting you go. That's why despite my heart being shattered into a million pieces, I'm letting you go.
Be happy with her. Be happy Troy.
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Oh god, it hurts.
The pain in my chest as I finally watch his back turned to me, wearing a white shirt similar to the one when i had first met him. Although i'm letting him go, i can't seem to stop the pain. Although i could stop our relationship from being tainted with bad memories, my heart hurts. I can hear the cry inside of me as his figure is now far out of sight.
It hurts so much. '
How will I survive this?
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She's beautiful Troy. She's far much more beautiful than me. And even though she seems more prettier, better, and everything else i'm not, i'm glad. Of course i feel some hatred towards her for taking you away from me, but your smile makes up for it. The smile on your face as she smiles at you, or the twinkle in your blue eyes that appear everytime she's mentioned in a conversation or the way you hold your breath when she enters the room, almost as if she's taken your breath away.
It's almost as if she's your world, and your only world.
And it made me think to what we had. What we used to have.
...were we ever like that?
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He's standing in front of me with a grin on his face. The wet hair, cooled face, and good smelling clothes, evident that it hadn't been too long since he's been out of the shower. I can't help but hold back the tears and get ready to turn around but he grabs me by the shoulders and pushes me closer to him. And i feel nostalgia as i smell the cologne mixed with his smell on him.
The tears are brimming my eyes as I can't stand the feeling of nostalgia, but i hold it in. I hold it in so we wouldn't get hurt.
"Troy!"
Her voice rings to the classroom as she greets Troy and I could see a glimpse of his face which now was in a full out grin as he let go of me in an instant and spread his arms out for her. Her brown curls, a contrast to my short blond hair, swift past me and i could smell the sweet scent of shampoo and perfume. She greets the guy I love and finally turns to me, the smile still on her face.
"Emily right?"
As much as i don't want to admit it, her presence changed the atmosphere. A smile that i haven't felt since our breakup naturally comes unto my face, and for the first time i finally understood why he was in love with her. Why he's taking the chance of being rejected and why he left my love for hers.
"Yeah, and Gabriella right?"
Her smile is addicting.
Why couldn't i be more like her?
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Ah, i see you've finally done it. You're holding her hand as you walk into the classroom together, the news already spreading fast throughout the school. Even through the tints of pink on your cheeks and the nervous smile on your face, you radiate with happiness.
I know i can't get over you.
Not anytime soon anyways. I know it will take some time and pain. But i believe, i believe that in the end, we'll be fine.
You will be with her.
I will stop loving you as more than a brother.
And we'll all be happy.
I'm ready.
I'm ready.
..
..
No I'm not. I know I'm not.
It hurts to much to let go.
It hurts too much.
When will this pain stop?
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I'm smiling with you. I'm smiling to myself. I'm smiling with her.
It's been months since our break up, and now it finally doesn't hurt to think about it.
Your girlfriend of seven months is holding my hand as we both giggle at your goofy act in the car.
Remember how i said how funny life was?
At the time i thought all was lost between you and me, i cursed my fate in life for making me this way. For hurting me in the most painful yet gentle way. But now its sent me another curve ball. Something i would have never expected.
I like her.
I like her a lot.
As the same way she attracted you to her as a lover, she lures me in as a friend.
My most valuable and trusted friend.
Ironic huh?
But didn't i say life was funny?
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What happened? What has life done to us now?
You're gone.
She's gone.
I lost my most trusted friend, and my first love all in one weeks span.
I shudder.
I can still hear it. I can still hear the screeching of the tires and the screaming of her voice. I can still see your smile as you comfort her as you lay on the cold concrete. The blood won't stop and my heart hurts as you suddenly make a pained expression. She's still sobbing and screaming as you struggle to breathe and my head starts panicking. But as much as i try to stop it, as much as i wanted to be able to sit next to you and comfort her as you reassure us, i can't. I can't cause now the sound of the ambulance is ringing in a distance, but i can't hear it anymore.
No, everything fading.
The murmurs of the men, your groans of pain, her sobs. It's all starting to fade.
But in an instant, I'm back where I am. Back on the cold cemetery in the cold winter. Alone.
All alone.
Why?
Why did you leave? I didn't let you go to be with her for you to die. I was really ready to live my life to the fullest and to be able to look at you with a smile even as your hands are intertwined with hers.
But look where we are now.
I'm looking at the two graves in front of me. One of yours and one of hers.
I look at the newspaper clipping held in my right hand.
The brave spirit of a young soul
And on the other hand is her suicide note.
One crash and you were gone.
One bang and she was gone.
What's gonna happen to me?
What's going to happen?
Oh no. The tears are falling. They're falling so rapidly i can't seem to stop them, what's happening? My throat hurts and it hurts even more to breath in the cold January air. My hands shake even through the white cashmere gloves. Something she gave me as a present.
Your championship lays in a necklace on my neck, along with the promise ring you gave her. Why is it there? Why isn't in the hands of you and her? Why is it laying so cold against the warm skin of my neck?
Why?
After a while, i feel the tears lessen, it lessens slowly until it finally stops. My throat is raw. My eyes are red.
As i stand in front of your grave, i suddenly feel a warm presence.
Are you there Troy?
Are you there Gabriella?
I could almost see them. Their happy smiles as their hand lay intertwined, and finally a smile forms on my pale face.
The thought of my first love and my best friend in love makes me smile.
Their love makes me smile.
I shake my head as i remembered a thought I had thought of during the small time I resented her for taking you away. I shake my head and throw my head back in laughter.
The laugh feels good. It feels great.
But what feels greater is the presence of you and Gabriella..
...laughing along with me.
Ohkkaaayyyy. So, i know some parts did NOT make any sense at all, but really this was a spur of the moment type of thing. The reason i wrote this kind of oneshot is my inspiration. So thank you for all those who read it and feedback would be amazingly lovely:)
Thanks!
-someonelikeyou10
