The Life You've Chosen
By LadyWithLight (a.k.a. Martha)
Summary: On lost dreams and disappointments. Missing scene from "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
Disclaimer: I don't own Ugly Betty or any of the characters or plotlines from the show. I'm just borrowing.
"If this is the life you've chosen, I have no interest in knowing the real you."
Her words echoed in his mind as he slowly slid down the door to sit in the floor. So much for Betty's "inspirational" words, motivating him to "out" himself to his mother. When his mother had criticized Betty's family after they had been so nice to him, covering for him with his mother, he had been upset. When she had commented about Justin's "swishiness," Marc had finally snapped. Telling his mother about his sexuality had seemed like the most natural thing to do.
Of course, it had backfired. He didn't think he had ever felt worse pain than that he felt being rejected by his own mother, probably forever. She had walked out the door, being sure to make one last jab at the Suarez family on her exit.
Marc sat in front of the door for what seemed like an eternity before his silent reverie was interrupted. "Are you okay?" a voice asked from above him. Marc raised his head to look into the concerned eyes of Betty's father.
"My mother, she left," Marc said disjointedly. "I told her that I was gay, and she left."
"I'm sure that once she's had a chance to—"
"No, she won't," Marc said. "She's not interested in knowing the real me."
"There are some things that you will never understand until you are a parent yourself, son," Ignacio said. "There is a bond between parents and their children that is not easily broken. Even when you are disappointed as a parent, your children are still your children."
"Have you ever really been disappointed in your children? Not like this."
"When Hilda got pregnant, at first I was very disappointed. I had all of these dreams for both of my daughters, and then my eldest had to have a baby before she was even out of high school."
"What you have to understand though, is that my disappointment wasn't because of who she is or what she had done, it was because the dreams I'd had for her were gone. She wasn't going to go to college; she wasn't going to get a chance to make a better life for herself. She was going to be a teenage mother."
"Your mother's disappointment has less to do with you and more to do with her own wrecked dreams. She wanted to see you marry and settle down with a nice girl and have a few children. Instead you're going to have a commitment ceremony and settle down with a nice young man and raise dogs." Ignacio said. He paused and smiled, "Or adopt children."
Marc smiled at the older man's description of his possible future life.
"It might take her a while, but she'll forgive you, because you are her son and she has that bond with you."
"I hope you're right," Marc said. "But right now, it just hurts so much."
"It always does. She will come around eventually."
Just then, Justin came running down the stairs, arms flailing. "Mom, you'll never guess what I just saw on Fashion TV!" he cried. He proceeded, in a very animated manner, to inform his mother about the newest wave in fashion. Marc watched as a mother indulged and accepted her "swishy" son the way he was. She didn't seem to care that he was interested in fashion, or that he loved musical theater, or that he was probably going to be gay when he grew up. She just loved him.
"Thank you, Mr. Suarez," Marc said. He rose from the floor and started to go out the door. "Thank you for what you did for me tonight. I'm sure Betty's told you that I haven't always been the nicest person to her. You could easily have refused to help me."
"It was Betty's decision," Ignacio said simply.
"Thank you again," he said, going out the front door and down the steps in front of the house.
He sat down on the step, determined to wait for Betty to tell her what had happened. He hoped that her father was right. He hoped that his mother would realize, sooner rather than later, that she wanted to have her son in her life and get to know the young man he had never really shown her. If she didn't, he decided, it wasn't because he wasn't good enough. If a mother like Hilda Suarez could accept her son, why couldn't his own mother?
But he knew it was different. Betty's family had been raised with different values than his own upbringing. His mother and father both had always had a very closed-minded attitude, especially toward homosexuality. He knew that when he decided to tell her, but he still somehow hoped that it would be different with her own son.
Even Claire Meade, alcoholic, insane and homicidal as she was welcomed her son back with open arms when he showed back up as a daughter. 'Maybe I should fake my death,' Marc thought idly. It probably wouldn't work, he knew. His mother would probably throw a party instead of a funeral. When she found out he was alive she would hate him even more than she did now.
For now, he could wait for her to come back to him, if she ever did. He hadn't had the heart to say it to Mr. Suarez after how nice he'd been, but he was right in what he told Betty earlier that evening. 'My family's not your family.'
He sat down on the stoop to wait, wistfully thinking that a family like Betty's wouldn't be so bad.
Author's Note: I know, really long time coming. Feedback is appreciated, as always.