Disclaimer
I do not own Star Trek. I make no money from this tale. If you own Star Trek, even a small piece, and wish to give it to me...please, please do so.
A/N
My apologies for any errors, unbeta'd and tweaked up to the last second, translation: all boo boos are mine and mine alone.
Trading notes with Linstock about Captain Sparrow and got this...
Rubs hands in anticipation…The much lamented Captain Sparrow has gone to the great cattery in the sky but his legacy of embarrassing or/and touching stories lives on….
I could see a story with a group drinking a toast in memory of Captain Sparrow and telling stories against each other.. Sort of "I remember when blah blah.." Just a thought.
And thus this story was born.
Open call to any authors who would like to write a one-shot of Captain Sparrow's exploits. I would love to put them together. They don't have to go with what I have written or can, your choice.
~Hopeful
A Tale of Captain Sparrow
"Do you think you could get the cadet to come out with us?" Captain Pike asked, looking at Spock with a concerned sincerity that spoke volumes to how discrete the Commander and Uhura had been in their relationship. Christopher appeared to not suspect anything untoward between the two, despite Spock's error in referring to Nyota by her first name in front of the Captain just two evenings ago.
"What I mean to say is you don't think she'll be uncomfortable being herself and letting go around a bunch of senior officers. I know the experience would help her, but not if she's worried or thinking about everything she says or does in front of us."
Spock greatly appreciated Christopher's consideration of Nyota and his mutual care for her wellbeing.
"I am certain Cadet Uhura will understand she is at liberty to be…'at ease', considering the nature of the gathering," he replied. "I will endeavor to convey that she should consider herself among 'fellow friends of Captain Sparrow' and not her commanding officers. I believe the memorial will be enlightening for her and will enrich the memories she has of Pi'Shi'ka'ree."
"All right then," Chris said, waiving Spock toward his door in a casual dismissal. "We'll see you both at 1900."
Spock gave his assent and turned to take his leave when the Captain spoke again.
"Isn't the name Pi'Shi'ka'ree Vulcan?"
Spock paused and faced Christopher again.
"Yes, Sir."
"That's interesting; Cadet Uhura giving her pet a Vulcan name. What does it mean?" Pike requested, spinning a stylus between two fingers and looking at the PADD before him on his desk as opposed to directly at Spock.
"Little hunter." Spock supplied, tilting his head in curiosity at Chris's questions.
"Hmm."
"Was there something else you wished to ask, Captain?" Spock asked, with a calm belying the growing tension he was suddenly experiencing.
Pike gave his PADD a tap with the stylus then looked up at Spock with a seemingly overtly innocent expression on his face.
"No, Spock." Chris said, after what felt to Spock like a very long pause. "Sorry to keep you. Dismissed"
When the door swished shut behind the Commander the Captain smiled to himself.
"It's a little less obvious than 'Spockam' I suppose." He mumbled to himself as he pulled up his messages.
Spock followed Nyota through the door of the 'fleet bar' at 1900, as requested by Captain Pike, keeping a respectable amount of space between his body and her's after he'd considered Christopher's questioning earlier in the day. The memorial/party in honor of Captain Sparrow was already in full swing, with a remarkably large group of officers and cadets alike, in attendance.
Nyota looked back over her shoulder at Spock and gave him a broad smile before beginning to wind her way through the evening crowd to get to the group.
Captain Pike stood and greeted the pair warmly.
Nyota did a double take when Spock readily accepted what appeared to be whiskey to drink from the Captain as he asked her what she would like to have. There were several pitchers of beer on the table and she told him that would be fine. He poured her a pint while clearing his throat in a manner demanding the party's attention.
"I'd like to propose a toast to Cadet Uhura," Pike said as he passed Nyota her drink. "I've already shared with you how this fine cadet took care our fellow, albeit furry, officer. I don't think our wily Captain Sparrow could have had a lovelier companion to see him to the end of this adventure and on to his next. Knowing what I do of the Captain, I suspect he wasn't injured at all when she found him. It was just a ploy to get in the good graces of an attractive lady."
There were nods and smiles all around as the group raised their glasses and then drank.
Christopher pulled up another chair for Uhura and gestured for her to sit as Spock got one for himself.
"I think considering the Cadet's noble effort we should regale her with some of Sparrow's more noteworthy exploits."
An hour later, Spock was the only person at the hodge-podge of tables pushed together not shaking with laughter and wiping tears from his face as one tale ended and another began.
Commander Smithson struggled for breath, red faced with what Nyota would realized shortly was embarrassment as well as mirth as she began her story.
"Well, Captain Sparrow was the only cat I'd seen around campus."
"Oh, God!" Lt. Commander Ryus exclaimed, dropping his head to the table while giving a loud snort, and shaking with a fresh wave of laughter.
"Oh, shut up Gus!" Smithson said, while several others she knew had heard the story before covered their faces as they laughed as well. "What people!" She growled, even as she laughed at herself. "I was raised in the city. My parents wouldn't even let me have a fish."
Nyota looked at Spock to see the corner of his mouth quirked up.
"Do you know this one?" She asked, though the answer was apparent.
"I was present during the incident she is preparing to share." He replied, returning her gaze with amusement in his eyes. "Commander Smithson was a first year cadet at the time. We are well acquainted. She dated my roommate Matthew for some time."
"Hey, shut it over there, Commander." Smithson barked playfully, when she noticed the Commander and Cadet conferring. Nyota clamped a hand over her mouth, spilling the beer she held in her other in the process, as she tried to muffle her shocked laughter, her eyes wide with amazement at anyone talking to Spock that way. Spock didn't seem the least bit surprised or affronted at the woman's outburst."
"So it's a nice Saturday and I'm studying on a bench over on the quad." Smithson continued, looking at Nyota. "And I notice this pretty gray cat lying in the sun by a bush. Like I said, I'd never seen another cat around campus so I get up to go see if it will let me pet it."
"I was just about to it when I hear a low hiss from the bush, and then Captain Sparrow jumps out of the damn shrub, scaring the hell out of me in the process and pounces on the other cat."
Lt. Commander Ryus guffaws began anew and he choked on the drink he was taking.
Smithson ignored him and pressed on.
"Well, the animals start screeching and struggling and I was horrified. Captain Sparrow was attacking the poor little grey kitty! I didn't know what to do and I certainly didn't want to get the holy hell scratched out of me so I started yelling, 'Bad Sparrow bad!' while looking for a stick or something to try to get the Captain off the other cat. I couldn't find one, so I grab my bag and was just about to whack the shit out of Sparrow when Cadet Spock's voice comes out of nowhere and says, 'Margaret, I do not believe Captain Sparrow would appreciate being struck while he and Miss Kitty are copulating….that is not to say that he would appreciate being struck at any other time."
"Oh my God." Nyota blurted, before letting out a high pitch 'eeeeeeeeeeeeee' sound.
Lt. Commander Ryus leaned back in his chair, wiping tears from his face while repeating 'oh man, oh man, oh man…"
Pike was holding his chest, gasping for air.
"How the hell was I supposed to know they were having sex?" Commander Smithson wailed dramatically. "I mean, right there! In the middle of the damn quad! That shameless, horny bastard!"
When Nyota finally caught her breath she looked again to Spock.
"Miss Kitty?"
"Admiral T'Pol's prize Persian."
The 'eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' sound emitted from Nyota again as the whole group erupted in another round of laughter at Spock's deadpan delivery of the awful truth. She swayed in her chair and Spock grasped her elbow and steadied her.
"Vulcan or no, I thought for sure Captain Sparrow had breathed his last after violating the admiral's prize pus… er, feline." Smithson said, stumbling over the last of her statement and blushing redder than Nyota thought possible at almost using 'pussy' to describe the cat.
"I was sure Sparrow was a goner on that one as well," Pike said, continuing to chuckle. "I wonder what stayed the admiral's hand."
"Punishing Captain Sparrow for his biological drive to mate would have been illogical." Spock said, in his usual monotone delivery of what he believed should be obvious information; causing more laughter though he was unsure why. "And Admiral T'Pol was pleased with Miss Kitty and Captain Sparrow's resulting litter. Injecting new blood into a pure line often produces heartier offspring."
"Pi'Shi'ka'ree has kids!"
"Oh, yes." Captain Pike replied with a smile. "Raise your hand if you are the proud owner of one of Captain Sparrow's children please."
Nyota giggled as hands went up all over the room, including Spock's.
Uhura looked at him in surprise. "You have a cat?"
"Kis-ka-veh lives with Grandmother Grayson."
"Jealous one?" Nyota said, translating the cats name as both her eyebrows shot up.
Captain Pike started laughing again, "Oh, Cadet…that is a very good story."