With This Ring - Chapter 1

"Excuse me?" Jim said it like a plea, waiting-praying--for a punch line. When one failed to arrive, he shot up out of his chair and began to pace like a caged animal, a tawny corded mass of restless energy and coiled strength. "Sir ... you've gotta be kidding me!"

"I'm afraid not, son," Admiral Pike said patiently with a smile. "Getting married is crucial to the success of this mission."

"Begging the Admiral's Pardon," Jim waved his hands at a PADD on the admiral's desk he had just read for emphasis, "but you didn't say anything about the 'getting married' part until after I accepted the assignment!"

"I couldn't tell you anything about it until then because I have to follow orders too, Captain." Pike picked up the PADD with a STARFLEET CONFIDENTIAL - EYES ONLY label and deleted the three-page document.

"But sir, why does it have to be a real marriage?"

"Starfleet wants an actual, well documented wedding, with an official marriage license on file, in the event anyone gets suspicious and decides to run a security check on Captain and Mrs. James T. Kirk."

Jim exhaled slowly. "Okay, but If the Federation believes this Xindi-Primate scientist wants to defect, why isn't this being handled by the Diplomatic Corp?"

Pike nodded. "Most defections are handled on a diplomatic level, but point of fact is that as a captain of a starship whose primary mission is first contact, you are a de facto representative of the Federation's Diplomatic Corp. In this instance, Starfleet feels-" the admiral paused with a look of concern. "Are you breaking out in hives?"

"It's the 'M' word, sir."

"I see." Pike's eyes twinkled with laughter. "Should I," he waved a hand, "call a doctor?"

"No sir," Jim scratched a patch of dark pink rash on his left hand. "That won't be necessary."

"Well ... I'll try to keep the rest of this conversation as painless as possible. Now, to answer your question, you're correct in saying that we aren't proceeding through regular channels, but there are reasons for Starfleet's direct interest. One reason is that this particular scientist, whose name is Cinth Zuenthal by the way, is under constant surveillance. Otherwise, he probably would have made it to a Starbase and asked for asylum by now. A recent Federation Intelligence report indicates that Dr. Zuenthal is the lead scientist on a project to develop some kind of powerful weapon-which would explain the close surveillance. Another reason is that the Xindi often trade weapons and intelligence with the Cardassians and the Klingons, both of whom are hostile to the Federation. That makes it a delicate diplomatic and military mission. The report also mentioned that Dr. Zuenthal is getting married next month. The Admiralty decided it would be best to send a young newlywed couple to collect him ... along with Mrs. Zuenthal, of course."

Jim scratched the dark pink rash on the side of his neck. "But why not just send someone who's already married?"

Pike shook his head. "That's not possible. A Starfleet Captain is the lowest level in the cadre of officers deemed suitable to weld the diplomatic olive branch, and there just aren't many married captains in Starfleet. Even less of them are still active, and the few who are have been married for years. Altair VI may be a neutral planet that employs and hosts many species at its resorts, but the planet is near the edge of Federation territory and there is still an element of danger."

Jim rubbed his face in response and then leaned his forehead against the nearest wall.

"You were an assistant instructor in advanced hand-to-hand combat while you were a cadet at the Academy. That, along with other attributes, is one of the reasons why your name popped up to the top of the candidate list. Another reason is the notoriety you received two years ago after the Nero incident when the Federation's PR machine transmitted your face and story throughout the galaxy. That makes it less likely the Xindi Council will be suspicious if Dr. Zuenthal and his wife happen to approach you at the resort while he's on his honeymoon." He paused for a moment. "Did you know that Altair VI is the ..."

"... most popular honeymoon destination in the Galaxy. Yes sir, I know," Jim said. He pushed away from the wall and resumed pacing.

The Admiral leaned back in his chair and watched him. "Jim, you'll only be married long enough to complete the mission."

Jim paused and tilted his head. "And how long will that take?"

"About two months, tops."

"Two months ... eight weeks ... sixty-one days ... 1,464 hours ... 87,784 minutes ... 5,270,400 seconds."

"It's not a prison term, Jim."

"It might as well be."

Pike gave him an amused look before continuing. "The Enterprise will be space-docked for the next two months for standard yearly maintenance, refitting, and supplies before you continue on with your five-year mission. There is also an order in to convert your quarters into a double suite suitable for a married couple. So-"

"Wait a minute, my-my quarters?"

"-you'll travel to Altair VI on a state-of-the-art interstellar class ship operated by one of those popular luxury cruise lines. Carnival, I believe. The ship is the Venus something or another ... just a second." Pike swiveled his chair to the right and pressed the intercom.

"Yeoman Carter, what's the name of that Carnival cruise ship again? ... Venus Flytrap? ... Venus Half-Shell?"

"It's the U.F.O.P. 'Venus Rising,' Admiral."

"Yes, that's it."

"I've just sent you the final estimate and payment receipt along with the rest of the cruise information."

"Thank you Yeoman." He turned back to Jim. "Starfleet picked up the tab for your tickets and your Honeymoon suite on Altair VI ... oh, and we'll pick up the tab for the rings, too."

The other PADD on the Admiral's desk beeped. He picked it up and read the message, and then handed the PADD to Jim. "Yeoman Carter booked the," he made quotation marks with his fingers, 'Wedding Packet' cruise, so the rehearsal dinner, the wedding, and the reception will be held on board. Catering for the rehearsal dinner and the reception is part of the packet, along with the wedding cake. The menu, color scheme, and cake style will be up to you and your bride to be, but the ship's Executive Chef will need your choices before the end of this month. The packet also includes rooms and a two-night stay for the wedding party and immediate family; which means no one will have to navigate the trip home while three-sheets-to-the-wind after the reception, and we'll all get to wave bon voyage to the happy couple the next day."

Jim reached a finger beneath the collar of his uniform on the back of his neck to scratch at the rash. "The happy couple ... right," he said dryly.

"The Enterprise won't arrive at Altair VI until the day you're scheduled to leave. If Dr. Zuenthal approaches you before then, you'll just have to stall and put on a good show for the Xindi. We'll get your marriage annulled as quickly as possible once the assignment is over." Pike rubbed a hand across his mouth. "Of course, to support the whole 'coincidence' premise for you being on Altair VI at the same time as the Zuenthals, you'll have to stay married for two or three weeks after you bring the couple back to Earth."

"Oh! Fuck! Me!"

The admiral coughed. "Yes, well speaking of that ... there'll be none of it, Jim, or the marriage won't be annulled."

"None of it what ... you-you mean, no sex?"

"No sex."

Jim squinted and cocked his head to the side. "Can we define sex?"

"Consummation of a marriage is generally defined as the act of sexual penetration."

Jim rubbed his chin with a hand. "Can-Can we define penetration? I mean, are we talking fingers or-"

Pike raised an eyebrow. "We're talking about sexual intercourse, Captain Kirk. Would you like me to draw you a picture using stick figures?"

"Right ... right ... so technically, anything that doesn't involve actual fuck-"

"Jim!"

"Okay, okay, I got it. So," Jim said with a sigh, scratching at his ankle, "who exactly am I supposed to marry anyway?"

"Lieutenant Noyta Uhura."

Jim starred at him in shock. "Sir, with all due respect ... why Lieutenant Uhura?"

Admiral Pike picked up a stylus and tapped it against his desk. "I've checked both of your academic records. Your Xindi is good, but hers is excellent-all dialects."

Jim's look of shock turned into desperation. "Admiral, I-I know three or four bright, capable women in Starfleet with hand-to-hand experience who are also fluent in xeno languages. I'm sure any one of them would be more than happy to accept this assignment."

Pike cleared his throat. "We ventured down the long list of your female acquaintances in Starfleet, but none of them could equal Lieutenant Uhura's communications skill set in Xenolinguistics. Quite frankly, we were at a loss until one of my advisors threw her name into the mix."

Jim leaned forward, elbows on his knees, fingering his hat in his hands. "She'll never agree to it, sir," he looked up, pinning Pike with a keen stare, "and which advisor?"

"She already has. Admiral Bennett briefed the Lieutenant this morning. By the way, is it true she tried to blackball your name from the list of Treasurer candidates in the Xenolinguistics Club, after she tried to blackball you from the club itself?"

"Yes sir, she did!" Jim laughed and sat up in his chair. "It was a glorious, if failed, coup d'état. She was President of the club at the time, too, so it was also a serious abuse of power." A cocky smile full of admiration lit Jim's face. "The Lieutenant can be quite tenacious."

"So I've heard." Pike's smile faded. "But the two of you are friends now, right?"

Jim sighed. "It's more of a truce than anything, but yeah ... I guess you could call us that. And I really don't wanna ruin whatever it is we've managed to build."

The Admiral gave him a shrewd look. "Then don't." He leaned over and pressed the intercom. "Yeoman Carter, you can show Lieutenant Uhura in now."

"Yes, Admiral."

Nyota entered the office and stood at attention. "At ease, Lieutenant. Please have a seat. I understand that you've been briefed on the assignment."

"Yes, sir."

"And was it explained that your family will be reimbursed for any expenses they incur on your behalf?"

"It was, sir."

"Good. Just turn in a general estimate of expenses once the assignment is over."

"Yes, sir."

Jim closed his eyes and rested his head in his hands. "I cannot believe you agreed to do this," he muttered.

Nyota raised her chin. "I didn't agree to it because of you, sir."

"Yeah, right ... just push the knife in a little deeper."

She looked at him, puzzled. "Excuse me?"

"Never mind," he said. "Begging the Admiral's pardon, but the Admiral never said who suggested the Lieutenant as the most likely candidate to accompany me on this mission."

"That subject is closed, Captain."

"Yes sir."

"Do you have any other questions?"

Nyota sat up straighter in her chair. "Sir, did the Admiral explain the no sex clause of this assignment to the Captain?"

Jim threw up his hands. "Oh for the ... unlock your chastity belt, Maid Marian, your virtue is safe with me!"

"Anything else? Pike asked, biting back a smile.

Jim looked at Admiral Pike a moment and then leaned over and whispered something in Nyota's ear. "Yes," she replied with a smile.

"Sir. The Lieutenant and I would like to know if the Admiral would agree to perform the ceremony."

All Starfleet officers with the rank of Captain and above had Magisterial authority. Along with the official sanction to mediate civil and martial disputes and to try cases in both courts absent an established legal system or a higher ranking officer, Federation Magistrates were also authorized to officiate at wedding ceremonies. Jim had been asked to officiate a wedding on board the Enterprise last year, but the ceremony was interrupted by an attack from a Romulan commander attempting to ride Nero's coattails. The attack came before the couple could finish thier vows, and the groom was killed in one of the exchanges.

Pike smiled at both of them. "I'd be honored."

"Thank you, sir."

The Admiral cleared his throat. "Now, there will have to be photographs and an announcement in the press. A starship captain honeymooning on Altair VI, especially one with your previous acclaim, will draw media attention. Try to use it to your advantage. Just remember, you cannot force or coerce the defection, Jim. Dr. Zuenthal must approach you. The Xindi Council will no doubt assign military personnel to shadow the good doctor and his bride."

Pike leaned forward with his elbows on the desk. "Neither of you will disclose any aspect or detail of this assignment. Absolutely no one is to know about this, no family member, best friend ... not even your senior staff or your First Officer is to know that this is a marriage in name only. This mission is extremely important to the Federation. Both of you will have to give a good performance, and I expect you to play your parts accordingly. That's a direct order."

"Yes sir."

"Understood, Admiral."

"Very well," Pike leaned back in his chair. "You're both dis-" He fixed Jim first with a bemused look, and then one ripe with speculation. "Why, Captain Kirk. Your hives are gone."

Jim turned to Nyota as soon as they left Admiral Pike's office. "Why are you doing this," he demanded.

Nyota lifted her chin and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm doing this for Gaila. She escaped her slave master and defected when she was fifteen-years-old. She once told me how hard it was for her ... the sleepless nights, the loneliness, the fear of discovery. I'm doing this for her."

He held her eyes in an intense stare. "And there's no other reason?"

Her eyes narrowed. "I don't have your propensity for duplicity, Captain."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Gaila told me about your little love note." Seeing his confused look, she elaborated. "The email she wasn't supposed to open and read until 3 pm? She begged me not to tell anyone that's how you managed to re-program the Kobayashi Maru. She felt so stupid."

Jim had nothing to say to that, so he stood silently and watched her walk away.

(to be continued)