Blame Monty Python

(Danny has been dog-piled by ten HSM Zombies. Artemis sees this and runs over to help him. She kills the Zombies and drags Danny's limp body to the side)

ARTEMIS: (dramatically) Oh Danny! My dear friend, I will defeat these Zombies in your honor! You're death shall not have been in vain!!

DANNY: (weakly) I'm not dead.

ARTEMIS: (Awkwardly) Oh…well then you're near fatal injury shall not have been in vain!!

DANNY: Actually, I think I'm going to be okay.

ARTEMIS: (Stares at Danny for a few seconds before taking her gun and shooting him in the head) Oh Danny, who was so close to being healed when he was struck by untimely death, you shall be avenged!!

Fop Killer

SHADOWY FIGURE: What's that?

(Artemis looks at what she is pointing at)

ARTEMIS: That's my fop trap.

SHADOWY FIGURE: Fop trap?

ARTEMIS: Yeah, everyone should have a fop trap, what if one comes around? Do you want a fop roaming around on your property?

SHADOWY FIGURE: I guess not.

(Then an alarm goes off.)

ARTEMIS: Yay we caught one!!

(Artemis and the Shadowy Figure run over to the fop trap and look inside.)

SHADOWY FIGURE: It's Raoul!

ARTEMIS: Well duh, who else could it be?

SHADOWY FIGURE: What do we do with him?

ARTEMIS: (Smiles evilly)

(Meanwhile)

(In his lair the Phantom of the Opera, or Erik, is busy composing some music when suddenly a large crate appears next to his desk, startling him)

ERIK: What the-?

(Looks at the crate and sees a note, he pulls it off and reads it aloud)

ERIK: "Thought you might like to have this, An anonymous friend"

(He opens the crate and sees Raoul, who is now awake)

ERIK: (Stares at Raoul surprised for a moment then grins evilly.)

RAOUL: (Very nervous) uh…hi?

Girlfriend

(I'd like to apologize in advance to all Sam fans)(Danny and Ember are on a date.)

DANNY: You look really pretty tonight Ember.

EMBER: (Blushes) Thanks Danny.

(Then suddenly, Sam bursts in, runs over to there table, and music starts playing)

SAM: (Singing) HEY! HEY! YOU! YOU! I DON'T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND! NO WAY! NO WAY! I THINK YOU NEED A NEW ONE- HEY! HEY! YOU! YOU! I COULD BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!

(Continues singing the song while Danny and Ember watch speechless.)

SAM: She's like, so whatever, you could do so much better. I think we should get together now, AND THAT'S WHAT EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT! HEY! HEY! YOU! YOU! I DON'T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND! NO WAY! NO WAY! HEY! HEY!

EMBER: (Is extremely pissed off now, she jumps out of her chair and attacks Sam.)

DANNY: (His eyes widen for a moment, and then he smiles and continues watching the girls fight.)

(Idea taken from a Death Note comic by SilentReaper over at deviantart)

Another Public Service Announcement

ARTEMIS: Hi, I'm Artemis Day

HERMIONE: And I'm Hermione Granger.

ARTEMIS: We like to have a lot of laughs here at DBZ Know Your Stars, but today we want to talk about a serious world issue…Ginny.

HERMIONE: Anyone who has read the Harry Potter books realizes that Ginny went from a useless background character to an annoying Mary-Sue between books five and six.

ARTEMIS: And unfortunately, some people see this as a good thing and have absolutely no problem with the fact that she allowed Harry to name one of their children Albus Severus.

HERMIONE: Which I would never have condoned, for I actually care about my children, and FYI, Ron named Hugo.

ARTEMIS: There is hope however, it seems that the number of Harry/Ginny fics on this website is greatly outnumbered by the amount of Harry/Draco fics, and while it is not my favorite pairing, it is certainly better than Harry/Ginny.

HERMIONE: So help us in the fight against Harry/Ginny fics and write as many non-Harry/Ginny fics as you can, the pairing doesn't matter, just so long as it's not Harry/Ginny, and I'm not with Ron. Seriously, if not Harry, than at least Draco.

ARTEMIS: That's right, and if you do that, put Harry with Bellatrix!

HERMIONE: (Looks at Artemis like she's crazy)

ARTEMIS: What?

(This has been a public service announcement)

Not Again

(Danny and Ember's three children are Sophia; the oldest, Vince; the middle child, and Melody; the youngest. Danny and Ember are in the living room with them looking for a movie to watch.)

DANNY: Okay guys, what movie should we watch tonight?

KIDS: Labyrinth!

DANNY: How about Ace Ventura?

SOPHIA: We want to watch Labyrinth.

DANNY: …how about Forrest Gump?

VINCE: No, put on Labyrinth!

DANNY: …we can watch Scarface.

EMBER: (Shocked) Danny!

MELDOY: Put on Labyrinth!

DANNY: (Losing his cool) BUT YOU'VE SEEN IT 78 TIMES!!

EMBER: You actually counted?

VINCE: So? He keeps count of how many times he can't it up.

EMBER: (Angry) VINCE YOU WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE!!

VINCE: Whaaaat? I didn't use any language, I just said that-

EMBER: BE QUIET OR I'M CUTTING YOUR ALLOWANCE IN HALF!

VINCE: (Shuts up)

MELODY: (Confused) Can't get what up?

DANNY: (Is now facing his wife's anger and his youngest daughter's childish curiosity, he sighs in defeat) Let's watch Labyrinth.

KIDS: ALRIGHT!

The Rules

(Artemis, supreme ruler of the world, is about to reveal the new laws she's come up with)

ARTEMIS: Okay, thank you all for attending this meeting, now please quiet down and we can begin. I have a few new laws which will be put into affect immediately. First new law: no more direct-to-DVD Disney sequels.

RANDOM POLITICIAN: You got that from Family Guy!

ARTEMIS: So what? It's a good idea, I mean do we really want to see the Disney corporation soil another one of their classic films with a shitty direct-to-DVD sequel, or worse…a TV series on ToonDisney.

RANDOM POLITICIAN: But I saw you watching that series based on Tarzan onc-

ARTEMIS: SHUT UP!! Anyway, on to the next new law: the use of chat speak, in any way, shape, or form is now illegal. All cell phones and computers have been rigged with a special chat speak-blocker in the event of someone using it, which will send 60,000 volts of electricity through their bodies!!

RANDOM POLITICIAN: …but…isn't that dangerous?

ARTEMIS: NEXT NEW LAW: If your name is Miley Cyrus, and you sometimes go by the stage name Hannah Montana, and your dad once wrote a song called 'Acky Breaky Heart' which somehow became popular even though it's an annoying country song, you will be given life in prison with no possibility of parole…EVAAAAAAAAAAR!!

RANDOM POLITICIAN NO. 1: I think our new ruler is insane.

RANDOM POLITICIAN NO. 2: What was your first clue?

Danny's the Eggman, Artemis's the Walrus

(Danny is looking for Artemis, unfortunately her house is very big and he's having trouble)

DANNY: Artemis! Where are you? (Sighs angrily) This place is too big.

(Suddenly, he hears faint music coming from behind a slightly open door.)

DANNY: Artemis? (He walks over and opens the door. He sees Artemis dancing around and singing along to her ipod into a hairbrush.)

ARTEMIS: (Singing) I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly. I'm crying.

DANNY: (Thinking) Well at least she can sing well.

ARTEMIS: I am the Eggman. They are the eggmen. I AM THE WALRUS! Goo goo g'joob!

(Artemis turns and sees Danny watching. She drops the hairbrush and they stare at eachother awkwardly.)

DANNY: uuuh…Hi.

ARTEMIS: Hi

DANNY: …bye.

ARTEMIS: bye.

(Danny leaves)

ARTEMIS: …(Singing again) I am the Eggman…

The only Omake on FanFiction who's title is longer than the Omake itself, and I dare you to find a shorter one.

VEGETA: Goat.

Happy Birthday Sophia

(It's Sophia Fenton's tenth birthday. They are having a big party for her and the guests are beginning to arrive)

RANDOM GUEST: Happy birthday Sophia.

SOPHIA: Thank you.

(Then suddenly, a huge limo pulls up, and an announcer guy comes out.)

ANNOUNCER GUY: Presenting, the supreme all powerful ruler of the world Artemis Day.

(Then Artemis steps out.)

DANNY: Is that really necessary?

ARTEMIS: Of course it is. (To Sophia) Hey there birthday girl.

SOPHIA: Hi Artemis, thanks for coming.

ARTEMIS: No problem, and now that I'm here, I hope its okay for me to give you your birthday present now.

SOPHIA: Okay.

ARTEMIS: Great! Let's go!

(Then she grabs Sophia and they disappear. They reappear somewhere else.)

SOPHIA: (Confused) Where are we?

ARTEMIS: You tell me.

SOPHIA: (Looks around and then gasps) We're in the Labyrinth!!

ARTEMIS: (Grinning) That's right, the whole castle and labyrinth is yours to explore all day long!

SOPHIA: Where's the Goblin King?

ARTEMIS: I tied him up and threw him in the closet.

SOPHIA: Oh okay (Goes to play in the Labyrinth)

ARTEMIS: Kids.

Chi-chi's very own Omake

(Chi-chi is in a bar listening to people singing karaoke badly.)

BAD SINGER: DON'T STOP BELIEVIN' HOLD ON TO THAT FEEEEEEEEEEEEEELIN'!

CHI-CHI: (gets fed up) THAT'S IT!!

(Gets up, jumps on stage and violently kills the bad singer with her chainsaw)

AUDIENCE: (Is silent for a minute, and then starts clapping)

CHI-CHI: Thank you, thank you! (Takes a bow)

THIS. IS. AN OBVIOUS MOVIE REFERENCE!

ARTEMIS: THIS. IS. DBZ KNOW YOUR STARS!

(Kicks Ginny into the pit of death)

SHADOWY FIGURE: What was the point of that?

ARTEMIS: (Shrugs) I just felt like it.

Shamless Plugging

ARTEMIS: READ MISERY'S COMPANY!!

Never piss off Artemis Day

(WARNING: If you are currently reading Death Note and haven't finished it yet, DO NOT read this, for it contains spoilers)

(Danny and the Shadowy Figure are sitting in Artemis's kitchen, all is quiet. Until…)

ARTEMIS: (From the other room) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

DANNY: (Is scared) What the hell was that?

SHADOWY FIGURE: I don't know but I'm putting up the shield.

(Then suddenly Artemis literally explodes out of her room and into her weapons vault)

DANNY: She has a weapons vault?

SHADOWY FIGURE: She tortures people, of course she does!

(Artemis comes out carrying a large flamethrower and then disappears; looking angrier than Danny and the Shadowy Figure had ever seen her.)

DANNY: What's her problem?

SHADOWY FIGURE: (Examines Artemis's room) I think I know what's wrong.

DANNY: What?

SHADOWY FIGURE: (Holds up a graphic novel) She was reading volume 7 of Death Note.

DANNY: Uh oh.

(Meanwhile)

(Artemis is in the Death Note universe. She has taken the notebook and tied up Light. She is now preparing to shot fire at him with her flamethrower.)

ARTEMIS: THIS IS FOR KILLING L!!

LIGHT: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(Meanwhile)

DANNY: Sucks to be him.

(A/N: That's the closet to fangirl I will ever willingly be.)

More Shameless Plugging

ARTEMIS: READ LITTLE GIRL!!

Happy Birthday Sophia Part 2

SOPHIA: That's was awesome, thanks so much Artemis!

ARTEMIS: I'm glad you had fun, we'd better head back to your party now.

(Artemis brings Sophia back to the party where she and her family and friends play games, eat cake, and watch her open presents. When it's all over, Artemis returns home and gets ready for bed.)

ARTEMIS: Well this has been a fun day, but I can't help feeling like I forget something.

(Meanwhile)

GOBLIN KING JARETH: HEY! GET ME OUT OF THIS CLOSET! HEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

(Meanwhile)

ARTEMIS: Eh, it's probably nothing. (Goes to sleep)